Pisces Full Moon, 6th September, 2017: Sorry NOT sorry~~

Tinaheals

“I am living permanently in my dream, from which I make brief forays into reality”~~ Ingmar Bergman

That my Beloved is the energy of Pisces in short for easy elucidation and I speak from experience. My Moon is in Pisces at 11 degrees 38 seconds and this FM is happening about two degrees away. It is at 13 degrees and 53 seconds.

I did mention that any personal planets within five degrees in the natal chart get activated by the NM, FM and other astro alignments.

Again, the Moon is your EMOTIONAL SELF and if that is in Pisces, you surely have what I call the FRACTURED SOUL. Like me. You and me have been hurt. We have trusted with open hearts and every single time our hearts have been broken. But we still find it within to love, or we turn to INTOXICATION, SELF BLAME, SELF LOATHING AND WHAT…

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Who is Ganesha?

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The whole idea of writing this piece came to me yesterday after someone from the US consulted with me. She had never heard of Ganesha, but when she heard ELEPHANT GOD, she kinda knew who I was referring to. I was explaining to her the INITIATION/START-UP ENERGY of this deity.

It caught me off guard because it is rare to find someone who has no clue of who Ganesha is, especially with the New Age movement. But apparently not…

So there I was explaining an impossible story to someone who had just seen him in a souvenir shop and knew nothing of the fact that GANESHA is a name given to the COSMIC RULE that governs all of existence from the tiniest quark to the largest galaxy cluster!

And my majestic Ganesha is no modern God, he is ancient…and does look weird maybe to people not used to him. But remember if you find him grotesque, then be aware that his stark grotesqueness is to remind you symbolically that NOTHING IS REAL. Appearances are ILLUSORY and TRUTH is never what you think it is.

He has a mouse as a companion which means that he has mastery of fear, indecision, anxiety and uncertainty and also control over beings of the subterranean worlds. His protruding belly does not signify his laziness…lol, no. No amount of plank will do it because IT SHOWS CONTENTMENT.

Historians believe that a prototype of Ganesha was worshipped in prehistoric times outside the Indian subcontinent in such faraway places as Afghanistan, Tibet, Mongolia, China, Java, Iran, Cambodia, Borneo, Japan and Mexico. Images of Ganesha were found in Afghanistan and also in Iran. The image of Ganesha found at Luristan in Iran dates back to 1200 BC to 1000 BC. Many Ganesha type idols were also found in Mexico from excavations and ancient temple ruins.

The story of the birth of Ganesha goes like this..

Shiva and Parvati were totally engrossed in making love for aeons. Then Shiva goes off to meditate. Parvati realise that she is all yucky and filthy. She scrapes the dirt from the skin of her body and creates a little baby boy!!! She leaves the boy guarding the door while she bathes. Now Shiva returns and this baby boy refuses to let him in! Shiva is so pissed off that he slices his head off!! OMG right?

Now Parvati comes out to see what just transpired and tells her man that this is their son. Shiva now has to save him as he sees Parvati breakdown for the boy. So he asks his chelas(helpers) to find him a head. But the head must be from someone who is sleeping with their head to the north. This is why in India it is inauspicious to sleep with your head to the North! You bet! Now these dudes scampered off and returned with the head of an ELEPHANT! WTF, right?

So Shiva then stuck this elephant head on the headless torso and voila Ganesha is born. As I was relating this story, I realised how freaking RIDICULOUS it sounded. I could see the woman’s face! She literally fell off her chair!

Myths my Beloved is never to be taken literally, they are for ELUCIDATION and EXPOSITION…BTW the PURANAS WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE PRINTED, they are ALLEGORICAL TALES, MEMORY CODE SYSTEMS which are revealed to the initiate only if she is ready…so here I am to explain what this means…

The symbol of DEAD SKIN of the Goddess~~what do you think that signifies?

A RESIDUE, a REMNANT, a REMAINDER of some sort of ATTACHMENT. The Goddess/shakti or the FEMININE PRINCIPLE can sometimes cling onto subtle energies she mothers. In Ganesha, the Goddess found someone to mother. SHIVA is the GREATEST YOGI and he might have sensed this excessive NEED TO MOTHER or an unhealthy attachment to the boy she created. Shakti is volatile and Shiva is SILENCE which is signified by him being under her. She is the ACTIVE PRINCIPLE and he, the PASSIVE.

SHIVA was called here to destroy this whole unhealthy attachment, but a true yogi will not destroy the VIKARA or the residue. That still is energy and SHIVA or the male potency decided to transform this residual energy. Look he could have incinerated Ganesha, right? But he decides to SEVER THE HEAD. The head is the symbol of the EGO, my peeps. As KRISHNA says…The HEAD is the ROOT…And, and, and…he uses a TRIDENT OR TRISHULA! The TRINITY! Sattva, Rajas, Tamas- the three gunas or the THREE NADIS- ida, pingala, sushumna.

Guṇa depending on the context means ‘string, thread or strand’, or ‘virtue, merit, excellence’, or ‘quality, peculiarity, attribute, property’. These three gunas are called: sattva (goodness, constructive, harmonious), rajas (passion, active, confused), and tamas (darkness, destructive, chaotic)..~wiki

If you take this ALLEGORY as a purely INTERNAL STORY, as in what is going on inside, then you will see how the DESIRES that convoluted our minds and form unhealthy attachments can only be severed by the TRIDENT or the admixture of the THREE GUNAS. We have to understand each QUALITY to transcend it.

The internal feminine/masculine polarities CANNOT be whirlpool of chaos, they have to be in harmony, which is why the internal SHIVA will HAVE TO RESURRECT GANESHA. Ganesha without the ANIMALISTIC ID or ego.

The internal SHIVA is logical and the internal PARVATI is emotional, just like a mommie. But to be an individual who vibrates in a high frequency, we have to be in touch with Shiva as much as Parvati. They must be in SACRED UNION, in yabyum!

This dirt with which she created him is MAYA, in its most superficial level and here the EGO or ID is all powerful. I have said that Ganesha is the muladhara chakra and he refuses Shiva the yogi a meeting with Parvati who is PURE KUNDALINI SHAKTI. If you do not master the MULADHARA you will never reach SAHASRARA. The TRIDENT here also signifies the IDA, PINGALA and SUSHUMNA, the three nadis of LAYA YOGA and in Vedantic parlance, the three gunas.

Shiva destroys the ego(SEVERS THE HEAD) and replaces it wisdom, allowing the union of Shakti/Shiva to take place. And presto, you have yourself enlightenment!

And now you ask me? WTF is up with the whole ELEPHANT thing?

My peeps, in ancient scriptures of Sanatan Dharma we associate the elephant with AWARENESS, MINDFULNESS, MEMORY, PATIENCE which Science has corroborated. elephants actually are super intelligent.

This easily explains why Ganesha must be invoked before praying to any deity. This SUPREME INTELLIGENCE that Ganesha has will be the GUIDING FORCE for any spiritual activity.

I read about this Scientist from Lebanon who used sonic mapping that caught the vibrational frequencies of the brain and what he found blew the world away! After these images were assimilated and studies, he discovered that the MEDULLA which is the doorway to the brain looks like GANESHA!! Are you freaking out?

He presented the enlarged image to the world which showed two big ears, a trunk and tusks. Now you see the symbolism and how correct the ancients were. Ganesha is the doorkeeper and if you invoke this youthful, playful masculine energy, then he will let SPIRITUAL WISDOM seep into your consciousness.

Ganesha my Beloved is the GRID KEEPER of your consciousness and is called VIGNA VINAYAK, remover of obstacles. But remember, these obstacles are in your mind.

Reminds me of the EIGHT OF SWORDS in Tarot.

Shivaites believe that Ganesha sits in the MULADHARA CHAKRA located at the base of the spinal cord and is responsible for spiralling our consciousness into higher dimensions. Seated in the muladhara chakra he acts as the gateway to the higher chakras and higher planes of consciousness.

According to Sakti Tantra, there are as many Ganeshas in the creation as there the letters of the alphabet. This suggests that this Ganesha energy exists in various planes, worlds and dimensions as the headboy of the ganas or groups of entities(gridworkers, energyworkers, lightworkers, all celestial beings) to guide them and lead them towards Siva/Shakti, the primordial ARDHANARISHWARA.

Ganesha is usually worshipped alone in the Vedic way, but we tantrics pray to him with his Shakti and call him Vallabha. The female aspect of Ganesha is also called Vinayaki, Surpakarni and Lambamekhala.

Today is a great day to INITIATE yourself with GANPATI INVOCATION into SPIRITUAL PRACTICES.

HRIM GUNG GANAPATAYA NAMOH NAMAHA

 

 

Aghoribaba, Tarapith and Nilasaraswati~~

 

“OM hriim taarayai vidmahe mahomaayai dhiimahi tanno devi prachodayaath…”

“You know you have to recite the Tara Gayatri in the morning …” said my Dadu and I am not a morning person. Grrrrr!

TARA agrees. There she stands smiling.

This mantra takes me back to my childhood. I have been saying this mantra since I could speak every morning. I had no idea how important it was to do SHAKTI/TARA puja. I had no idea.

Talking to an Avadhuta in one of my first Mahakumbhamela gatherings, I learnt that according to the Tarasara in the Rudradhyaya, one should meditate on the yoni/pussy covered with svayambhu flowers and the lingam and recite this. Around hundred crore repetitions have to be done to activate this. And no sadhika can get siddhi in this GUPTA VIDYA or hidden knowledge if this is not recited first thing in the morning.

DADU made me do it even before I stepped off the bed. You have to read my novel to know who DADU really is or was. He is not with me in 3D anymore, but he never left.

And Tara smiles. You know that IMMENSE feeling if you are a true SHAKTA or GODDESS WORSHIPPER. The Goddess appears in everything- in every woman, in every sunshine, in every teardrop.

Shaktas conceive the Goddess as the supreme, ultimate, eternal reality of all existence, or same as the Brahman concept of Hinduism. She is considered to be simultaneously the source of all creation, its embodiment and the energy that animates and governs it, and that into which everything will ultimately dissolve. ~~wiki

Sometimes she appears as NILA SARASWATI in my visions. Let me tell you about that time I visited Tarapith with a Nath Aghora Yogi I met in the Mahakumbha mela. He had practised much of his vidya in the cremation grounds of Tarapith and he agreed to take me.

If you don’t know what that is, let me give you a brief story.

It is the seat of TARA VIDYA where the MAHARISHI from the Vedic pantheon VEDAVYASA achieved TARA siddhi. The story goes something like this…

Vedavyasa tried repetitively to gain siddhi in Tara worship, but no matter how hard he tried, he kept failing. At a point he was guided by Tara herself to seek out Shakyamuni Buddha who was known to be in Mahachina which in ancient Indian texts is Tibet.

So Vyasa ultimately found Shakyamuni who initiated him in the GUPTA VIDYA of Tara sadhana and yes, he finally understood the WISDOM OF SHAKTI or SOPHIYA as the kabbalists would call her.

Anyway that is the power of this Tara Gayatri, so start by reciting this every morning.

Now back to Tara. Tara is also known as KAMAKHYA, the VULVA which represents SHAKTI in Guwahati, Assam. Kamakhya is a special place of interest for me.

The shrine stands atop the NILGIRI or the BLUE MOUNTAINS and is shrouded in mystery and lore. The recent temple was built in the 16th century but Tara tells me it is much older. Almost as old as the land itself! And the TANTRIC FERTILITY RITUAL is performed during the Ambubachi Mela which is the celebration of the yearly menstruation course of goddess Kamakhya. There is no idol of the presiding deity but she is worshipped in the form of a yoni-like stone instead over which a natural spring flows.

During this time you will see sadhus, saints and siddhas who do not appear anywhere else at any time. They live isolated but come for their rituals during this festival. I have been there many times and it is wild! Too many people come now, but if you manage to speak to the right siddhas and they are willing to talk, then the proverbial goldmine opens up in front of you.

Kamakhya is a emanation of SATI.

Sati and Dakshayagya. If you don’t know much about this, then know this that Sati was the wife of Shiva. Now there is a clash depicted here between her father who ruled the heavens and Shiva who lived in the cremation grounds. Same old Romeo Juliet stuff.

Daddy does not approve, Sati marries Shiva anyways and moves away. But she misses her family. Then she hears of her father performing a special YAGYA which will bring peace to heaven and Earth. Everyone in the whole Universe was invited except Shiva and her. She decides to go although Shiva warns her and the rest is History…

She gets insulted and immolates herself. Shiv arrives and brings the end of creation with his famous TANDAV. The dance that brings PRALAYA or the destruction of the multiverses!

BRAHMA/VISHNU/SHIVA- THE TRINITY RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATION/PRESERVATION AND DESTRUCTION, so to PRESERVE the multiverses VISHNU releases his ultimate weapon- the SUDARSHANA CHAKRA which slices SATI’S dead body into FIFTY TWO parts which fall on Earth and became the SHAKTIPEETHS. These are the most powerful vortixes of energy.

Now getting back to KAMAKHYA, let me tell you that place is of special importance in my sadhana. I have been visiting it since I was seven and every time it feels like I am entering a parallel world, so steeped it is in magick, folklore and mysticism.

Tara or Kamakhya is so potent here, her energy REVERBERATES through the winds that blow, the stars that shine and the rain that falls. Her smile is present in the hibiscus flowers. Sometimes I see her tongue in the fires that burn the dead bodies. The dancing flames dance in my eyes.

Here TARA is KAMARUPA, the form of desire and she is worshipped as the yoni (“vulva,” “womb,” or “source”). KAMAKHYA my peeps is true PUSSY POWER and if you have any connection to tantra or Shakti, then you will concur.

You know what SHIVA did? He became BHAIRAV and established himself right next to the yoni. What is he without her? Nothing? He won’t even be Shiva to create and destroy Universes if he does not have his Shakti.

You know what my plans are…I want to raise enough funds to go and live in Kamkhya for a year or so, to shoot, write and create unique content on the more misunderstood, esoteric aspects of Yoni Puja. Tara is smiling and that dubious smile tells me nothing.

Maam meem muum or maim maum maah- that is the mantra to invoke the divine yoni/pussy. If you are a woman, all you need is YONI NYASA to do the ritual. However if you are a man, then you need a living Goddess. If you are not sure, message me.

Dr. Ramnath Aghori came to me in my dreams. He took me to Nepal. It is fascinating when we talk. I have never heard him talk, but he conveys his ideas to me through telepathy. I discover that RAMNATH BABA had sanctified and locked away a tiny room near a hill. It was a temple and no one was allowed to open it. But the QUEEN OF Nepal did so and the repercussions were severe. Her son shot the whole family. You know about the bloody Nepali shootout killing the royals. This room was not any ordinary room.

I think that room is an energy vortex. You know there are dimensional warps yes? And lots of Shakti peeths are built on them or near them. And SHIVA LINGAMS are on the ley lines.

Ramnath Baba is a reincarnation of Garakhnath. I have always known this. Ramnath baba lived and did tapas in the BHOOTNATH cremation grounds for many years. In fact that is one place he still visits most frequently. I am dying to visit this spot. It has many answers I know.

Oh a thing worth mentioning. If you read about Ramnath baba online there are some American disciples who have written about him. Now they mention BYOMSHANKAR AGHORI and claim he was seven feet, blond and blue eyed. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Baba BYMSHANKAR AGHORI is from Bengal, from a tiny hamlet called BAKRESHWAR. There are some writings on him in Bengali and yes, he was the last lineage holder of Swayambhunatha or Guru Padmasambhava. No one has seen him since a few decades, but the people in the village thik that he still comes

We Bengalis have intertwined much with Tibetan spirituality as tantra travelled from the golden banks of Bengal to Tibet, to China, to Mongolia and to Japan and of course then spread all over the world.

The MUSLIM TURKISH ARMY destroyed one of the greatest libraries of the ancient past- NALANDA. They say it burnt for many many months after it was set on fire. Imagine the priceless tantric and yogic texts that were destroyed.

You know that Aghoribaba was the royal guru right? But let me tell you why?

The King of Nepal saw SHIVA/SHAKTI in baba’s palms. Now what does this mean? This means that Aghoribaba was a COMPLETE BALANCE OF YIN/YANG. Actually such siddhas become gender-less.

Now Aghori baba had also warned that the king’s head will roll and his son will be responsible. This is due to an OLD CURSE on the Nepalese royalty by none other than baba GORAKHNATH.

GORAKHNATH is the PROTECTOR OF GORKHA, a place from where the king’s ancestors came. Prithvi Narayan Shah, the founder of the kingdom of Nepal who began to conquer different kingdoms and brought them under one rule. One day this king offered a saint some curd. The saint was AGHORESHWAR GORAKSHANATH. He sipped it and then puked it out. Then he offered it back to the king! :O

Of course the king did not drink it. He chucked it on the floor and therefore got cursed that his dynasty would be ERASED because of his pride after 10 generations!!!

Now, now, now…Baba Ramnath’s disciple was the NINTH GENERATION and he was slain by his own son who never ruled even though he was crowned king. So you see, the royal family could not avoid Gorakhnath’s curse.

Now Ramnath baba is himself Gorakhnath. See how he executed his lila by returning for the finale! That is how Tara works.

You do remember the crematorium story don’t you? Yes I was there, all alone in the night. In the smashan in Tarapith. My spiritual brother by my side. We began the rituals and the yagya.

I cannot go much into detail here as some of it is too personal..but I can tell you the cremation grounds frightened the FUCK OUT OF ME. I heard laughter, shouting, screams, whispers, wolves or maybe dogs howling and then the scarist sound. When the body burns, the log crackles and the fire hisses. I do not think I can describe that sound. It is the sound of death and the sound of life.

And in trance the night was over. Of course Gorakhnath was there, in the form of Ramnath baba and then finally I saw her. Her as NILASARASWATI. She was short and scary. Her belly was extended. In fact it was the BLUE on her skin that made me realise who she is. She stared right at me and I passed out as I looked at the THREE EYES.

The Avadhuta who took me there told me that I sat in padmasana the whole night till the first rays of the Sun illuminated the cremation ground. He dropped me back and we never spoke a single word. He did not ask me a thing and I had no words. Only the BAUL SONG played in the background… 

“Khachar bhitor ochin pakhi kemne ashe jay”  which loosely translates to …
the unknown bird in the cage, how does it fly in and out? 
The link below is a BAUL/FOLK SHAKTA SONG from the heart of Bengal depicted in critically acclaimed internation film Moner Manush..

 

Do you know that ONLY A WOMAN CAN INITIATE YOU IN TARA TANTRA?

In Tibetian tradition, Neela Saraswati is known as Yang Cheng Mo. Yangchengmo is the Goddess for performing arts, especially music. In her musical moment and demeanour, Neela Sarasvati is called Piwa Karpo. Her Chinese Buddhist name is Miao-yin-mu. Sarasvati’s mythology is about PURIFYING THE CONSCIOUSNESS. In this she shares her characteristics with White Tara and also with her Japanese equivalent, Benten or Benzeiten.

The AGHORI SECT is very Plutonic and it is believed that ALEISTER CROWLEY devoted much time in discovering their gupta sdhanas. He is even known to have spend time with Ramnath Baba.

I wish Ramnath baba would tell me about Crowley, but he does not. In fact, he comes and goes as he wishes and I can never stop him. And Tara…she disappears…and reappears…like a hologram! Wait this 3D world is just another simulation right??

I am Manifest Divinity, Unmanifest Divinity, and Transcendent Divinity. I am Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva, as well as Saraswati, Lakshmi and Parvati. I am the Sun and I am the Stars, and I am also the Moon. I am all animals and birds, and I am the outcast as well, and the thief. I am the low person of dreadful deeds, and the great person of excellent deeds. I am Female, I am Male in the form of Shiva. ~~ Devi-Bhagavata Purana

 

Leo New Moon II and the Great American Eclipse~ 21st August, 2017: The Power of Love <3 ~~

Tinaheals

The 21 August Total Eclipse of the Sun at the SPHINX POINT, which spans the US from coast to coast, is in the last Degree of Leo, “A mermaid emerges from the ocean waves ready for rebirth in human form.”  

“The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery…” ~~Anais Nin

Play, pleasure, joy will lead the way this time…just follow…you can meet your twinflame/ soulmate too, but…so many ifs and buts…

When the Sun and the Moon meet in perfect union, astrologers call the condition Cazimi – meaning ‘in the throne’ or ‘in the heart’ of the Sun, it is the most powerful condition for a planet. It is where we collectively enter the heart of the Sun, into the royal throne room. Our emotional consciousness represented by the Moon enters a higher state, likened to having conversations with God or…

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Mercury Retrograde in Leo and Virgo~ Much needed Communication Makeover~

Tinaheals

August 12 – September 5, 2017 From earth-sign Virgo, ends in fire-sign Leo.

The prophetic ability of Mercury is the focus of this decan. Here Mercury is also a powerful healer and can be quite magical. Dedication to the priestess role and being of service is important. ~~Darkstar astrology

Magic is in the air and if you see my yesterday’s tarot spread that I picked for you guys…you will see this message clearly.

It is TRUTH that LIBERATES, not YOUR EFFORT TO BE FREE…JIDDU KRISHNAMURTHY

There are so many articles on this retro, so I will skip all the details and explain this journey as simplistically as possible.

Mercury is a PERSONAL PLANET and anytime a planet like Merc, Venus or Mars goes retro(only in our perception of course) we humans and all life on earth begins to feel its effects. And this one is HUGE! It is happening during the ECLIPSE PORTAL, the LIONSGATE…

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For someone in some Multiverse

I know somewhere deep within the heart of the cosmos, you and me are in each other’s arms, maybe watching the Helix nebula. I know you are looking at me, like no one ever has and no one ever will, because only your eyes can perceive the depth of my soul. Only  you can understand my beauty the way you do.

I can see the love in your eyes. I can feel the memories of eternities coalesce into time and space, kaleidoscopes of memories flashing, the cacophony of your voices in diverse timelines calling my name, the sound of your laughter. It is all there, in my mind Beloved.

All those memories. All those eternities, they are compressed somewhere in my unconscious. I know we have grown old in each other’s arms a million, billion times. I know we have raised and cared for so many children. I know it. All those memories are buried in this 3D world. My conscious mind barely remembers you.

But somewhere, something has stirred and snippets of memory flood my mind. They refuse to go away. They torture me, they plague me, until I meditate or write or do photography. I have to channel this intensity in art. That is why I have lost myself in art this lifetime beloved.

I know you are there somewhere, in the Universe today. Not by my side and you will not grow old with me. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. I don’t know why. Why is there so much pain for a life never lived? For memories never shared? How is every inch of you so very precious to me? When I have not even touched your body?

I know you irritate me too, and anger me and provoke me. But then I know that you are here to show me parts of my soul. For you are my soul. Is that even possible?

Why do I feel so linked to you? I know I have never met you. At least not consciously. Maybe somehow, somewhere our paths have crossed in this 3D and we probably did not recognise each other. I know I was not spiritually mature enough to identify you. Maybe you managed to identify me?

Maybe we met…maybe we looked at each other across the room. Maybe we passed each other on the beach? In some party?

I have fallen in love, but not the intensity I know I can experience with you. Yes I can love without you, but I don’t want to. I know you will come.

In fact even if you are in another dimension, I know you will find a way to time travel through the warps of time and space. You will come to meet me.

I want to tell you that you have been my muse and I am so thankful for all the creative energy you have sent my way. I can feel your energy, you know, at times. Especially when you think of me. And I know when you are thinking of me, because every fibre of my being can feel that longing from your end. I can feel how badly you want me. I want you as badly, if not more.

You know I am reminded of Keats when he says, My love has made me selfish…not because your love has in any way made me selfish, but because it has done the very opposite. Your love has opened me up to greater love that exists in creation. The love I feel for you is now expressed as love for all.

You are my home. Even if you are stacked away in some other multiverse. Maybe we will meet when our Universes collide and information bleeds into both of them. That is when you and me may come face to face.

Will our timelines collide? Will the hologram direct you to me?

I know I have been waiting…for a very long time for you to come. But you never came and I am not angry with you about that. I understand you are yet not ready to come which is why you have not come. I am not ready obviously as well.

I want to tell you one thing…I am a survivor. I have survived molestation, I have survived the cruel world, I have survived terrible relationships and I am still here.

In fact nothing could break me. I knew of the spiritual world and of you. I knew this 3D world is illusion. Everything here is an illusion, even the rape. This reality is JUST ANOTHER SIMULATION.

Which is why you are probably so far away, in another multiverse, in another timeline. Tell me, are you aware of me? Do you know I exist? Does your soul call out to mine? Does your body crave to be entwined with mine?

I know you know of me, whether consciously or unconsciously is the question. Have you reached that spiritual level of identifying me? I haven’t obviously.

ARE YOU CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF ME?

The thing is, I know of you because when everything turned cold and dead, you existed, as a flame in my heart. I am wild, my Beloved. I am untamed as I roam the earth looking for you.

I have looked for you in many dimensions, through the Bardos, through the Nine Gates of Hell and I am not even sure if I managed to find you there. For I don’t remember when we last met in the physical world.

I just have sudden flashes. Of your eyes. Your smile. Your hair.

Sometimes I am sure I have heard you call my name. I don’t know what name you called me by, but I know you were calling me. Time and again, I have woken up in my sleep, my heart beating ferociously.

I know the time will surely come one day. Do you feel that? Do you feel the urge to meet me? I was not expecting you to show up in this life, but now I so badly hope for that.

You know as I began to type this letter, I knew the futility of this exercise. How will I express myself? How will I explain my love for you? How will I reveal to you what your heart feels for me? For I know when we meet, we will melt away…in each other’s arms.

I am typing this…hoping that our timelines collide and somehow through digital interference you get to read this in your own multiverse. I think if you read it(presuming you are not reading it already), then you might figure out the whole goddamn connection. Maybe in your Universe, there is time travel available. Maybe you can hop into some hi-tech piece of computation and visit me here. Yes here, on my humble Earth.

My Earth may be slightly polluted, but she is very beautiful. When you come, maybe I can take you to Goa. Maybe you have a Goa in your Universe. Wow!

Let me share a quote with you…You are all about me – I seem to breathe you – hear you – feel you in me and of me…Katherine Mansfield wrote that to her lover. In case you don’t know who she is, well…she is probably one of the best short story writers in the world and a feminist icon. She is my favourite and has been my muse for a screenplay I wrote based on her love life. She had a tempestuous love life BTW.

The quote sort of echoes what I feel about you.  How succinctly she puts it…feel you in me and of me…SUBLIME! We are of each other- star dust, my Beloved.

Have you felt like that about someone? Is that someone me? Just ask your heart.

I have visualised us making love. So many, so many times that it drives me nuts to even think about it. This obsession with you has now become all consuming and I cannot stop thinking about you. Sleepless have I become in this 3D illusion, my Beloved.

In a way your love woke me up. From the dense vibrations of this manifestation. It brought with it a subtlety of feeling and emotion and of course creative fire. I have become a poet for you, for your love.

I have become a dancer for the music you play. Tell me Beloved, are you CONSCIOUSLY PLAYING THAT MUSIC? Or are you just as unaware as I am.

You are my nightmare as much as my dream.

You are my smile as much as my scream.

 

Let me end here before I go crazy.

 

 

 

Energy Update~Channelled writing

I have been feeling extremely charged with cosmic energy the last few weeks. The Lionsgate Activation, the NM on my birthday in Leo on the 23rd of July, then the FM on my partner’s sign and now the eclipse on my natal Saturn.

Now forget the astro…

BE MENTALLY ACTIVE AT ALL TIMES NOW.

The Solar flares have been insane and other celestial entities are also vroooming the Earth with massive loads of energy. The spirits, fairies, angels or whatever you call them are out and about.

The retrograde planets are adding to the drama and in two days Merc stations retro and is now in shadow! Fuck! Merc in the shadow period is DEADLY and most mistakes happen now.

Listen my Beloved, the energies will only intensify, so please stay connected to whatever or whoever raises your frequency. This is not the time to be fixated on something or someone that brings down your resonance. This is not the time…

Find your MUSE! This is a creativity overflow- so tap into it. Make love to someone beautiful. Your UNCONSCIOUS is rife with material…use it, help us all. Working with ANIMAL and PLANT SOULS can be sooooo healing right now.

The Activation of this portal made me think of my Lion, my Twinflame and what can I say….such profound memories and vibes penetrated deep in me that I know he feels me too. He knows me and is thinking of me as much as I of him. But probably in another dimension. In another parallel world?

The other day, someone from Russia(another psychic) told me that she thinks my twinflame is reading my writing and that got me thinking…

Maybe I should write an open letter to him. He might read it in another DAUGHTER UNIVERSE. Ha!

Okay now listen…

I was listening to all these NASA audios of the planets and while invoking Saturn, I was listening to the sounds he makes and then suddenly, I lost consciousness. I was in another dimension and I do not remember anything.

But listen…what I discovered is that there is a HUGE AMOUNT OF ENERGY coming from the GALACTIC CENTRE WHERE SATURN IS RETROGRADE.

Of course our SPIRITUAL SUN is illumining the collective consciousness with all these bombardments. My Beloved…

There is no place to hide now…

There is also a BLACK HOLE at the centre of the MILKY WAY and there is so much happening put there that we humans who are like ants to these heavenly giants are also feeling it strongly.

Do you know Andromeda is cannibalising the milky way?

https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/hubble/science/milky-way-collide.html

My SPIRITUAL GUIDES tell me that there is imbalance right now in our neck of the woods(eh cosmos?)

Listen, all energy workers are going crazy, because some of us are really not ready to deal with this type of work. It can drive you crazy.

But this is no time to hide.

Listen…

These intense waves of energy is literally made me feel so tuned in and charged that it is hard to explain in words. I feel so orgasmic, so many times without any sexual stimulation. I know the energy is working all the time. Sexual energy is the very crux of creative power.

Now how can I explain the feeling I have been having since my birthday?

There is a humming I hear at times, sounds a bit like a deep OM. Then there are sudden pressure waves that attack my frontal lobe. Headaches, no I do not think they can be called that….whatever these feelings are, whatever is going on in my brain is stupendous.

Sometimes the process is becoming painful and there is strife. It is easy to provoke me now. I am in a state of nostalgia. I don’t know for what or who.

My THROAT CHAKRA and my SOLAR PLEXUS are supremely active.

And on top of that I began to bleed a day before the Aquarius FM. I always bleed with the cycles of the Moon. And my psychic visions are much more powerful when I bleed.

If the pressure gets too much ground yourself.

Hug a tree.

If nothing else works and you need a friend, pm me.

The frequency is rising and the time is coming…

For twinflames to meet…

Oh and do not get upset by your body…

No matter what happens, love your body. This message is not just for my sisters, it applies to my brothers out there too. Thank your body. Talk to it and show it love. Touch yourself sensually as you would a lover. Learn what makes your body tick, so when you join with your twinflame you know WHAT FEELS RIGHT.

Triggers, triggers, triggers…everywhere…CONFRONT YOUR FEARS. Think of what matters.

Don’t cave in. Don’t succumb. Don’t lose yourself.

There was such a profound sadness I felt during the eclipse. That night I dreamt of the cremation grounds. That night I saw myself sitting alone, in front of the flames and breathing.

Yes there was fear in me, but there was also a calm. Slowly watching the fire dance, I realised that fear and calm had become ONE. The flames were flickering and distorted sounds were coming to my ears. Chants, mantras, voices from my past…

Then I saw Ramnath Aghori baba, who is known to be one of the supremely realised yogis from the NATH AGHORA tradition. He has been guiding my journey since the Maha Kumbh mela of 2010.

Ramnath baba was sitting opposite and in his hands, there was the DUMRU. Yes the dumru of Shiva. I heard the primordial NADA or sound of the dumroo and still now I as I write my body is full of goose bumps.

I saw Baba Ramnath take so many shapes- Gorakhnath, Matsyedranath, Shiva, my father, someone who molested me…his face took on so many identities.

Almost like the FACELESS MEN from GOT! But I just sat and watched him.

I seriously have no recollection of what I felt, but I think the message was clear- ALL IS ONE. This vision made my resolve even stronger. I want to write more about tantra. Explore it for people who might not be scholars or yogis. I have always wanted to get those stories out there.

Now cut back to the story… Staring at Ramnath baba and the flames flickering, the sounds drowning my thoughts…that is when a DARKNESS began to envelope my consciousness…that darkness is KALI.

There is nothing here my Beloved..there is only LOVE.

What else do you seek in this illusion?

The Universe wants to know what love is. But how is consciousness going to know what feeling, touching, kissing, making love feels like?

Consciousness has to create holograms like you and me. Real thinking and feeling holograms….to know love, death, pain, anger, sadness, melancholia, orgasmic bliss and all shades of emotions.

I know this eclipse season something within me has been UNLEASHED. I feel this presence strongly. Sometimes it feels foreign, sometimes it feels like me.

This presence of love, of bliss, of orgasmic ecstasy.

Where have the eclipse energies taken you? What frequency are you vibrating at?

The energy is OFF THE CHARTS and it is available to you My Beloved.

Remember I love you, I believe in you and will always do.

Beloved, I am yours for you are mine. I am in you and you in me. We are ONE!

Like the stars above. They are in us and we in them!

The Schumann Resonance Is Spiking – Mother Earth Is Awakening

A great Awakening has been unfolding on Planet Earth and many people have been able to sense it. In recent years the heart beat of the planet has begun to speed up and the consciousness of humanity is expanding and making way for more awareness.~~Higherdensityblog

Collectively we are raising Gaia’s vibrations as we lay the foundations of a new age- of love…love…love…

Let us CO-CREATE our SAGA OF LOVE.