You’re Garbage~

There is a storm in my life

Carve my heart out with a knife

Doomed voices in my head

Of all the things you said

Cut up photographs

Deleted texts never sent

I have been condemned

The agony of this reviled path

Your fruitless words in my breath

Pure noise pollution

Of vile sophistication

My insides are dead

Guts and gore all spread

There is just perpetual dread

I am broken

Even before I have spoken

I lock myself in my mind

What oh what, do I expect to find?

With feverish anticipation

Through numerous incarnations

I wasted time waiting…

Waiting…

For your arrival

But you seem to be written in some other writer’s screenplay.

I don’t want to be a plagiarist

This is the plot twist

You are stolen, You are borrowed

I have to go on without you on this road

Yet…

I cannot escape the images archetypal

They haunt me

Like you have planned my fall

All those wounds I can recall

Leave my mind forever

Exist not there, in error,

Be the rhythm in someone else’s tune.

Your  disastrous memories, all strewn,

All over my mind

Like garbage

A hedonistic carnage

Everything seems lost

I’d shoot up a dose of existential angst!

Stop the promise of those eyes of yours

All they bring is tears

Say something not nothing at all,

Something tangible…

Something surreal…

Something fantastic…

Like a dose of unadulterated acid

You are the protagonist of my plotline.

It’s so written in the great design,

Art imitates life

Or life imitates art.

Will you come alive?

Why do these redundant words come tumbling out?

My lamentations to scream and shout!

They want to shoot out from my being

Like a syringe of heroin

You are my undoing

All is a blur

My destructive shooting star

There is no reality in my plotline

No meaning well defined

It’s all lies

Just waves of dispersed smoke

Imagery they invoke

Of lingering glances

Kundalini stirring dances

Under the moonlight

My empty, meaningless words

Lingering through the doorways

Like convoluted memories in my mind

Leave me in silence

Do not be a hindrance

While I wear my red lipstick

And my little black dress

He waits for me I confess

The man I am about to kiss

Does not know about the stress

Of having your ghost inside of me.

All he wants is my warm body

And my deep kisses.

And I will kiss him back…

That’s the only hack.

And make love to the stranger like you don’t exist.

Or maybe I will slash my wrists…

 

 

 

Thank you…

Just wrote this before going out…

Surprised?

Don’t be…

Venus retro in Scorpio…mmmmmm

Pluto stations direct in my fifth….whoa! The NN. on my Sun opposing Mars/B.M.L

Chiron creeping into my 7th! the soppy 29 degree of Pisces…OHMGODDESS

 

Yes I am a mess, but a glamorous, sexy mess…try me…

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A Harvest Full Moon in Aries, 24th September, 2018; Come and take a walk on the wild side~~

Tinaheals

Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion. ~~Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

Whether you know astrology or not, know this, that this FM in Aries is a massive conduit to finding healing in the disparities between your individual needs and the needs of the collective. Yes the binary energies are Aries and Libra. Passion and beauty! It is about individualization and about mandating a peace in our relationships. If you think about it, can we humans ever do without relationships?

This FM at the very early degrees of Aries, will affect everyone who has natal planets in the early degrees of the Cardinal signs- Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn! You will feel it as a shift in destiny. It is so fated.

This lunation happens in the Aries Decan 1…ruled by Mars and is called the Mars Triplicity…Mars is very active this FM as we shall see…

Austin…

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Equinox infused Psycho Babble~~ Feel the vibe, Feel the terror, Feel the pain, It’s driving me insane~

Tinaheals

The veil between the world of spirit and the world of matter is now equal. There is now a balance with the Sun in Libra. Harmony, balance are the keywords. The equinox portends messages from the realm beyond 3d. If you listen, you can hear the whispers…the whispers of the Autumnal leaves as they convey whispers of the spirits.

Today and yesterday has been straight out of Alice in Wonderland for me. There have been so  many karmic connections, revelations and nostalgia that at times I have been incapacitated. Unable to move, unable to express myself…incessant tears flow ceaselessly…reminds me of a flowing river. You cannot touch the same water in a river twice. Because the water is never same. It always moves and stays in a state of flux. Like my tears…they flow…

Look today, I got lost in doing my makeup…it became a mess as I could not…

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Venus RX in Scorpio/Libra, 2018~ Doomed from the start, We met with a goodbye kiss~~

Tinaheals

“Observation: there was absolutely nothing to see on Venus. Conclusion: it must be covered with life.” ~~ Carl Sagan, Cosmos

Venus is in fact teeming with life, not just the kind we might expect….”equalled by none other…” Esoteric knowledge tells us that it is the root causation of earth’s consciousness. It is our source frequency. The stars and planets, they teach us and not just shine! There is a lesson in the five pointed star that Venus draws as she dances in the heavens above…the question is, have you deciphered the code yet? It is never obvious with Venus retro lessons. It is deep, simmering and has to do with shadow work.

As stated by H. P. Blavatsky: “According to the Occult Doctrine, this planet is our Earth’s primary, and its spiritual prototype. . . . Every sin committed on Earth is felt by Usanas-Sukra [Venus]. . . . Every…

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Saturn Stations Direct, 6th August 2018~~

Tinaheals

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. ~~Steve Jobs

As Saturn stations direct on the 3rd degree of Capricorn, but moving only 1 degree this whole month, I offer him a mustard oil diya to invoke his energy and I chant 108 mandalas of Klim, which happens to be the beej mantra or the seed syllable to invoke his feminine counterpart Kali. Kali, the fundamental manifestation of the Dasamahavidya or the Ten forms of the Goddess, to ask for one thing and one thing only and that is Self Mastery.

You see that is their domain, true self knowledge…

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