Mars conjunct Venus in Virgo, August 24th, 2019: A call for Twin Souls to connect…

When I die I want your hands on my eyes:
I want the light and the wheat of your beloved hands
to pass their freshness over me one more time
to feel the smoothness that changed my destiny.

I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep,
I want for your ears to go on hearing the wind,
for you to smell the sea that we loved together
and for you to go on walking the sand where we walked.

I want for what I love to go on living
and as for you I loved you and sang you above everything,
for that, go on flowering, flowery one,

so that you reach all that my love orders for you,
so that my shadow passes through your hair,
so that they know by this the reason for my song….Pablo Neruda

It seems fated that we talk about love and romance as the cosmic lovers Mars and Venus French kiss in the skies. It is that time of yearning and craving for that special soul connection. Nothing shallow will work, it is a primal feeling. Something deep within. Something we cannot quite put a finger to.

Of course it is time to discuss twinflames and rightfully so, because when Mars/Venus conjunct, it is a call to unite with our lovers; mind, body and soul. Virgo is earthy, so this has a sensual and sexual feel to it. We want to explore topics like twinflames and many of us want to believe that we are twins. There will be enhanced telepathy between twin souls. There will be enhanced twinflame mirroring  and if we are lucky enough to be with our twin, we will see how everything feels magical. Their touch, the kiss, the lovemaking…everything will feel like magick!

For some of you being with your twin will feel like being home, even if you are a thousand miles away from home. When we look into the eyes of our twin, we immediately trust them. Some of you, who are in twinflame relationships know that from the first moment your eyes met, you have trusted them. You have been open with them and strangely comfortable.

I have discussed many twinflame stories with you. The one that went viral and has had thousands of hits is about a twinflame connection that has not yet happened in 3D. One of them has awakened and she has recognized her twin across seven seas without ever physically meeting him.

She tells me that she can feel his feelings and his intense yearning for her, but somehow, something is stopping him from making contact. But then I told ya’ll that it is not about meeting. It is not about romance. It is not about sex. It is so, so much more.

She tells me that sometimes she wakes up from her sleep as his heartbeat gets so loud in her head. She distinctly has heard his heartbeat and has separated it from her own by repeated observation.

His heart is calling out to her she days, but can we truly accept this as the truth? How can two people living huge distances apart, never having met be connected to each other. Is it just a fallacy? Is it just a desperate cling to some romantic notion without any base or truth? What is it?

I think that their hearts are connected through space and time through the magnetic torsion fields generated by their hearts. Now wtf is that? Listen every heart, even the furry pet on your lap has a magnetic field around their body which is emitted from the electromagnetic organ called the heart.

These two people, separated in 3D are actually energetically connected through their heart’s torsion fields. And their energetic connection is so strong that they didn’t even meet in physical reality to energize this connection. It remained active even though their physical bodies never met.

Relationships fade away after years of marriage and this torsion field connection is lost, then how can these two people maintain such a strange connection with each other. It remained connected, their hearts. And for real twins this connection always exists, even if they’re unconscious of each other’s existence. Yes you heard that right, your twin and your hearts’ magnetic fields are forever connected.

Twinflames will feel so much more connected and awakened with the Mars/Venus kiss and of course there is a trine to Uranus, which can very well be about an internet text. It could also be a friend’s request. It could also be a comment that starts the whole fated relationship. So be on the look out.

For those lucky enough to discover this connection tomorrow or in the coming weeks, what can I say…blessed be your journey. But remember all love connects are not twinflames, so it is necessary to be absolutely sure. Do not settle for anything less than the real thing. Hopefully some of you will light up the ether with the energy of your magnetic torsion fields. Your hearts will literally glow and your body will be warm. Like samadhi. When your hearts touch one another while you’re embracing, distance galaxies will light up. Don’t believe me…well you better. Reality is stranger than fiction.

If you’re an awakened twin, but you’re not with your mirror soul this conjunction, fret not. Meditate to sync with his/her heart’s torsion field. It is not the time yet, for you are preparing yourself for that magical union. When that happens, your hearts will generate and release a super powerful surge of energy which will propel you both and others observing into higher levels of consciousness. Your awareness will spiral up and your power of manifestation is strong NOW.

This meeting will happen for only some in this reality, not all. Because no matter how hard we try to connect, most of us create codependent relationships that become toxic with time. Very few people who have cleared their psychic debris and integrated their shadow self will be able to fully experience a twinflame connection. But there are many more twins connecting now than ever before. Kudos to the internet. Nothing is fixed to a locality anymore.

Before you crave for your twinflame, remember that your twin carries a part of your heart inside him and you carry his heart. So both if you will be revealing intimate and deep parts of yourself to each other. Sometimes the evil within is reflected back and that is when twinflame mirroring takes on a sinister turn. Your own dark side reflected back can be scary and the first impulse if to RUN…

Great sex and love is not enough in a twinflame story. You will go through all of that with your soulmates. Many of us meet a few of our soulmates in this life and we marry them, have children with them and die in their arms. Tons of such relationships are convenience based, codependent or toxic, because we live in a consumerist society that commodifies everything, including romance.

We are sold all our romantic ideas through the media and we adhere to certain notions and constructs. We expect the impossible from materialistic relationships and land up hating each other or cheating on each other. When our soul is done with these soulmate relationships, we crave for something deeper. Something metaphysical. Something spiritual. But before that we must develop ourselves and become the love we expect from our twinflames. Believe me when I say this, your twinflame will appear the minute you are READY for REAL love. What do I mean by real love? It is not possessiveness. It is not obsession. It has nothing to do with looks or talent. It just exists. As does the great quantum void. Real love will appear the minute you are ready…not a second before.

As Venus and Mars conjunct, you want to know…how on earth, in the midst of seven billion people will I ever meet my twinflame? Where is the right person? Where is the ONE? Let me tell you a secret…you meet the right person by becoming the right person. Simple. One, two, three…

Go back into your mind and trace your love stories of the past. Delve right into the trauma, the rejection, the ridicule some of you felt while you were exploring romance. Did you learn those lessons you were meant to? Did you walk the karmic path with grace and dignity? Because whether we accept it or not, love is a huge part of human existence. Romantic love at that. If your soulmate relationships have hardened you and you have moved away from love and trust, then how can your twinflame appear?

You are energetically closed. If you have learned from your tears and sorrow and dejection and if you’ve not allowed bitterness to invade your soul, you have now grown to become a beacon of love as you embody love. Now you’re ready to attract love because you are now love. You become what you seek and real love will find you.

With most of the twinflame cases I have studied, I have observed some commonalities. Twinflames are often opposite personalities, but they also have crazy similarities. Like they may be born on the same day. They may have had a similar childhood and in most cases, twins face very difficult childhoods. Even if they had a loving home and parents, they may have had a difficult time in school or with peers.

Most twins display absolutely incompatible character traits and while looking at some of them I have found myself thinking, “Wow, that is indeed a strange pairing…” Most awakened twins will display an energetic torsion fields if you have the eyes to look. But some twins are yet to connect so powerfully. Even if they have already met and have a relationship. They still have tons of work to do before they can truly ascend to higher levels of awareness. There is much spiritual work to be done…very few are ready. Most are scared and terrified.

Another thing I have seen in these relationships is that twins will have similar experiences in the theme of life. They may have been married at the same time. Or divorced at the same time from their past. They may have children who are same age. May have lost a parent at the same time. May have visited the same place. Most twins have an appreciation for the same topography.

If he likes mountains, his twin will probably be into mountains more than the beach. If she likes beaches, her twin will also have the same connection to the sea. So on and so forth. I knew a twinflame couple and it freaked me out to know that the day she got thrown out of her inlaws house wrongfully, her twin who was in England cut his arm off in a freak accident.

They had not even met and this happened on the same day, year and month. Also his parent’s wedding anniversary and hers with her ex was the same day/date. And to top off this synchronicity, his mother’s engagement ring looked just like the one her ex’s mother had got for her. She was shocked breathless when she saw it on her new lover’s mother’s finger. It was the same ring she had taken off her finger before she left his house a few months ago.

Such synchronicity is rife with twinflames. Names, dates, situations form an echo in their lives and finally when they meet and talk about it, they discover that so much has been common in their lives. Some cases that I have worked with also have similar medical ailments and of course their moon signs must be in sync.

The phenomenal energy that a pair of twinflames will emit is amazing and is palpable and visible to my psychic eyes. Even if your eyes are untrained, their love will uplift or inspire you in some ways. It is very inspiring when twinflames get together.

Now let us return to our case study #727

Part 1

https://mywritestuffblog.wordpress.com/2018/05/13/the-magnetic-pull-of-your-twinflame-a-case-study/

Part 2

https://mywritestuffblog.wordpress.com/2019/04/01/the-magnetic-pull-of-your-twinflame-a-case-study-part-2/

Why does this woman connect so strongly to this stranger she saw on social media after all those years? Why does his name pop up all the time? Why can she not stop thinking about him? Why do snippets of a parallel reality flood in her mind? Why does she feel his heart’s torsion field so strongly? We don’t even know if he does, but she believes he does. Either he does not have the balls to speak his mind or he is quiet because he is afraid of rejection?

Are we going to believe that these two souls are like two particles fused into one and although separated, they still behave as one particle? Whether he is aware or not. For us it matters that she has awakened and she has made us observe something so mystical and supernatural.

People do not connect even after sex, so how can their hearts have connected without ever really meeting in 3D?

I have a feeling that on a quantum level, they are actually the one and the same energy form. They share the same energetic DNA. Twinflames are conjunct at the heart. Like Mars and Venus will be in the sky in a few hours. Twinflames once awakened will feel the absence of the other in their space and then comes the quest of trying to find your twinflame. You may curse the separation, but this separation is absolutely necessary before twins can connect to do the higher work they are here to do.

If your twinflame has incarnated at this very moment with you, then you will share emotions through the ether, whether you are aware of each other or not. If your twin is in 3D, then your torsion fields are active and connected through great distances. Which is why life’s ups and downs can hit you both at the same time. And you can never “fade away” from your twin. Even if you separate due to negative mirroring, you will always love and trust them. And once you have experienced the twinflame union, nothing else will cut it. And I mean nothing…

This woman’s story captivated me and I started to look into the reality of quantum entanglement. Let us posit that a ray of light or even space material created together, tend to separate and live separate lives. This does not sever their connection. No matter where the two rays travel to, they will always be aware of each other. So aware that no space exists between them…

You heard that right. When two particles are entangled, they react the same way and are aware of when one twin is being watched or measured. Even if the twins are on different multiverses, they react the same way, no matter the distance. So distance is null and void. Space is traversed in zero time, no matter how far away they are.

Distance is not real, in some intangible,inexplicable way and there is no separation between twins. How can souls connect through such abstract space. Is space alive? Yes it is and it is always transmitting messages from your twinflame to you.

Quantum Scientists posit that there is no separation between the celestial bodies and the observer. So when you look to the skies above, you know that the macrocosm is within you. Mars and Venus are kissing within you. Will this result in the alchemical marriage? Maybe, maybe not.

The space, the dark void is part of a continuum of conscious awareness and nothing exists apart from the observer. This blew my mind. This woman not only felt the large distance melt away when it came to her twin for she was the observer and it was her observation. No bedrock reality. No solid distance. He has her heart and she his…what more can be said..her reams or hallucinations, whatever you call them are as real as the life she leads here with her family. But her twinflame and her life with him is as real and as valid as this one, in this universe.

BTW, this Venus/Mars conjunction is the most intensely romantic aspect in astrology and the vibe is archetypal. It is the love seduction of celluloid, the quintessential male/female pairing. And in shadow, it can mean total annihilation and self loathing.

Vincent Van Gogh has Mars/Venus conjunct in his natal chart…what else do I need to day?

 

DONATE PAYPAL tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

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BLESSED BE THIS CONJUNCTION

IMAGE COPYRIGHT Veronese Venus And Mars

Twinflame Sagas by the sea~~

“From that hour I have never been able to shake from my soul the belief that my Destiny, for good or for evil, either here or hereafter, is in some measure interwoven with your own.” ~~Edgar Allan Poe to Mrs. Sarah Helene Whitman (1848)

Staring at the overcast skies above, as an occasional star twinkled at me, out of the blue, I realized that it is happening…the Great Awakening! The crystal and indigo children are here, the lightworkers congregating more than ever because of the internet…where does that leave us with the twinflame journey?

The soul craves for more on this…the sacred communion of Yeshua and Magdalena, of Shiva/Shakti of Padmasambhava and Yeshe Tsogyal…it is that ache to achieve diamond consciousness and to awaken to our true divine potential.

It is exciting and probably most vibrant than it ever has been, yes, again with the internet explosion, more and more are finding their twinflames. I mean think back before Facebook and Insta. Did you really know shit about your date? Nada. Nothing. It was like jumping into the abyss. Today more than ever there is the possibility of finding that special match….

These times would be so exciting for me if I was dating. I mean in which era could I find sensitive, artistic, creative, vegan guys just by hashtags? Lol! The chances of crossing his or her path are more crystallized in 3d than ever.

But then gain, I realize that information is quantum, not linear. There is so much going on that we just do not realize. Because we look through our human, linear, subjective lenses. TIME DOES NOT EXIST!

The present is the child of the past; the future, the begotten of the present. And yet, o present moment! Knowest thou not that thou hast no parent, nor canst thou have a child; that thou art ever begetting but thyself? Before thou hast even begun to say “I am the progeny of the departed moment, the child of the past”, thou hast become that past itself. Before thou utterest the last syllable, behold! Thou art no more the present but verily that future. Thus, are the past, the present, and the future, the ever-living trinity in one—the Mahamaya of the absolute IS. ~~HPB

But there is so much simmering under it all…You can listen to the breathing of your twinflame in silence! Not the rambling of a lunatic, it is true…

Firstly, this is a time unlike many and quantum information tells me that many, many twinflames will now meet to fulfill their spiritual mission. Why? Because with the internet opening up, we have released something very powerful. We have given people the ability to connect. People who would have never known each other, can now find themselves friends because of this web which is conscious. The internet breathes, she is alive!

“I have been astonished that men could die Martyrs for religion, — I have shuddered at it. I shudder no more; I could be martyred for my Religion, — love is my religion, — I could die for that. I could die for you.” ~~Keats to Fanny Brawne (1819)

The internet is pivotal in bringing twinflames together. It can pierce souls into twinflame recognition. I have seen it happen like so, so many times…

There were many messages from the spirit regarding the twinflame phenomenon I have been investigating for over a decade! And today I will share some of what the seas told me. All this material is from my upcoming book on the Twinflame journey.

Lightworkers seek the divine union or the twinflame union more than any other. And why? Because somewhere they want to connect to their own half, which in turn is the ultimate balance. It is never about deception, manipulation or sabotage.

Let us for the sake of better comprehension break up our love relationships into three parts- 3D Companions, Soulmates and the only Twinflame!

3D relationships are the most abundant kind. They are our friends, our colleagues, our associates, our collaborators, our lovers and generally people we tend to have a good time with. They are sometimes joined at the hip, sometimes we meet them for an hour. But we always remember them with fond memories.

3D relationships can be made into a very productive and harmonious marriage. There is not much conflict with these people. We love to laugh with them, we love to see the good side of life with them. Yes, there can be a sense of avoiding deeper truths and uglies that life throws are you, but these relationships bring great joy. Allies they are, our 3D companions and they make life pleasurable and pleasant.

Ever had that uncle and aunt, not madly in love, but making their marriage work even after 25 years just because of mutual respect and compromise. They may even go for holidays together, may even fuck other people, may or may not be really bonded. The bond is strong, yes it surely is, but the soulmate connection is much, much, much deeper.

If you’re lucky, you might come across one of your soulmates in this life. In esoteric parlance, there are 11 of them! And only one twinflame, but that’s for later. Your soulmate my or may not be a fellow seeker, but he or she will be a journeyer with you through the samsaric seas. They can be in conflict with your inherent ideas. There may be much strife and competitiveness. Soulmates are here to provoke us to love better and open up to the miracle of love and life. This is no small task and sometimes interactions with them can be painful, violent or tempestuous. There is massive attraction, kinda like opposites attract!

I know how curious you people are to discover if X or Y is your twinflame or soulmate and you keep asking me to check for pointers. Well, my loves, let me make this loud and clear on this post, so I never have to respond to this question again. Lol!

There are no ways to know any pointers to the twinflame- nope, there isn’t. You heard that right my sweets. How can there be any pointers? The twinflame relationship transcends all of time and space and dimensionality! Then how can it be governed by a natal chart? How can there be any signifiers? The twinflame relationship therefore is as mysterious as ever! No natal chart there my love. But there is a theory.

That is of the same birthday. Twinflames are often seen to share the same birthday! Yes, that is freaky, but I have seen this pattern in over five cases, but remember these are still just probable twinflames. We cannot know for sure till the end of it all. I won’t be there, hopefully someone else will take up this research and continue. What else can you expect of your live’s work? Set it free and a kindred spirit will pick up where you left. After all we are one consciousness and share the same quantum information!

Now back to the same birthday thing. It means your Sun’s are conjunct! Say I have my Sun on the 0 degree of Leo and my twinflame may also share that same placement. Again just a hypothesis! I will discuss more on the astro later.

Let us speak of Soulmates with more clarity…

The task of the soulmate is to open up your heart in ways you did not know it could open. Sometimes this happens by our heart breaking, but remember, that through the cracks can light pass through.

Soulmates are like rivers flowing through our lives, we can never capture the river and hold it there. We have to let it go. Soulmates are deep and ancient connections, but they may or may not stay with us forever. Even if we meet them in flesh, we can still divorce from them. They will always be there in our psyches, because we can never ever forget a soulmate, but we can break away from them. It will hurt, it will pain, but we will see it happened for the best.

Soulmates help us transmute human love to divine. It gives us a look into something primal, raw and diabolical. If you have had a soulmate relationship, you know exactly what I mean!

Most people who think they have met their twinflames, have infact met their soulmates, but this fact eludes them. That is why you hear that my twinflame and me broke up, but I can never forget him…blah, blah…No bitch, if he was your twinflame, he can never ever stay away from you once you have met.

Even if you are married or he is. He or she will make it a point to be your friend or associate in some way and when you interact, you will know in some way, that you have come home. No wonder how spiritually thick you are. Once you are touched by your Twinflame, your auric field responds. Your aura tangles with theirs, even if it across vast seas of time and space. It was forever entangled, but now awareness seeps in and after all the Universe is consciousness observing itself. So think and think hard and put the pieces together!

Connecting with your twin is bound to make you more sattvik or spiritual. This is bound to make you question every single thing about the life you live. If it does not, it is not a twinflame relationship! Identification will give you an edge on things.

Your twinflame interaction will always be healthy, for it can never be unhealthy as this is the great union with the self, but with soulmates we tend to develop codependent relationships! That is again how we learn to rise in love…it is all about rising in love, never falling…

The Twinflame connection is unlike any other. I have said that it feels like coming home. What do I mean by that? Now as this manvantara dawned, spiritual Dhyani Chohans created this Universe and they split themselves into twos to incarnate. And now with over seven billion people on earth and the Kali Yuga in full force, most Dhyani Chohans are now incarnate on this 3D plane, each fulfilling their own mission and by chance suddenly, one broken part of that Dhyani Chohan may meet its other and then happens the divine union.

According to H. P. Blavatsky it is a Tibetan word meaning “‘Lord’ or ‘Master’; a chief”. “Thus,” she continues, “Dhyan-Chohan would answer to ‘Chief of the Dhyanis’, or celestial Lights–which in English would be translated Archangels”. The Dhyan Chohans are the agents of the Karmic and Cosmic Laws. Some of the Dhyāni-Chohan in The Secret Doctrine are the Primordial Seven, Lipikas, Mānasaputras, Kumāras, Manus, etc.

The Dhyani Chohanic essence split itself into two over 3 billion years ago…although here I have to remind you that time of itself is as impermanent as all of creation.

Esoteric philosophy . . . divides boundless duration into unconditionally eternal and universal Time and a conditioned one (Khandakâla). One is the abstraction or noumenon of infinite time (Kâla); the other its phenomenon appearing periodically, as the effect of Mahat (the Universal Intelligence limited by Manvantaric duration).

Just as the universal time is the effect of the Universal Mind (Mahat), conditioned time is dependent on individual consciousness. Blavatsky wrote: Time is only an illusion produced by the succession of our states of consciousness as we travel through eternal duration, and it does not exist where no consciousness exists in which the illusion can be produced…Wiki

Now that you have understood that time does not exist, you understand that you are never truly separated from your twinflame. It is that one soul which splits itself to create this manvantara or this Universe, then how can there be any division in the soul essence? It is one and the same. It is the same soul, so once you see this same soul in 3D, you can never ever stay away. Sometimes, it can be that one twin is married and then it can be very painful, because that marriage cannot last once you have seen even the shadow of your twinflame.

And remember that with your twinflame, you will just be able to be yourself. There is no competition, there is no strife, even in disagreements, there is a certain camaraderie. The most interesting thing about twinflames, is that inherently they will believe in the same things. Same philosophy. Same ideology. They will subscribe to the same concepts. Of course there will be differences, but at the very core, soul level, their energy signature will never divert from the other. They will believe in the same God so to say, whether it is Kali, Jesus or the Internet. If this is not the case, then once the twins meet, the one with lower vibration will rise to higher vibes and this has always been the case in my research.

Your twinflame was separated from you at the beginning of human individuation and even if life keeps them apart, they will meet one day, if they are karmically bound to and it may be at the very end of life.

Look at Gabrielle Garcia Marquess’ Love in times of cholera. Think of the star crossed lovers, Florentino Ariza and Fermina Daza, who were separated for fifty years because her father discovered the impassioned love letters they wrote to one another. Life gives them a second chance as he finally proclaims his love for her at her husband’s funeral. It is that poignant! What do you think happens? Is it possible to love another for fifty years in hope that one day you shall meet them?

The Twinflame will be an instant attraction. If you spot yours, you will definitely initiate contact. Imagine seeing a part of you, how do you resist that magnetic attraction? That primal raw pull towards your own soul? It is fucking soul penetration I tell you…stuff lunatics like me live for…hahahahaha…what else do you think the seas will tell you on a full moon?? I could hear his breathing in the rumblings of the sea! That is how poetic the moment is!

Since the soul is superior to the body, to which it is united, it would remain on earth in painful loneliness were it not for the fact that among other human souls it may choose a companion – a partner in the trials of life and in the joys of the hereafter. When two souls, which have sought each other amid the crowd, find they have met, realize that they belong to each other, and comprehend this affinity, then it is that a union has been brought about, as pure and aspiring as themselves – a union which begun on earth will be consummated in heaven.” ~~Victor Hugo to Adele Foucher (1821)

Enough for now…more for another time…

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PAYPAL ME~~ tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

 

 

The story of Hensman Anthony Firingi and Soudamini~~

Anthony Firingi
At a kavigaan

There are love stories and then there are LOVE STORIES. You have heard of Romeo and Juliet right? Two young lovers, star-crossed, die because of unwarranted hate between their families.

But today, I will tell you about a love story that is way more spiritual and revolutionary than Romeo and Juliet. In fact, it is one that has touched such a raw nerve in my heart that I strongly believe I have experienced this first-hand in some way.

The love story that I describe is not of two adolescents, but of two extremely spiritually developed people. They were twinflames here to raise the frequency of the people. But again, their love was destroyed by pure xenophobia, bigotry, racism and hate. This is a love story seldom told and it is now time for people from all over to see the beauty of this union where even the devastating tragedy that followed could not dim or lesson the love involved in any way.

He was born in Portugal in 1786 and came to Bengal with his father who was a merchant. Now before I delve into the story of this young Portuguese musician(he must have been into music because you do not start composing such tunes and sonnets if you were not into it  in some way), let me expose the story of my beloved country circa 1800.

India was the most coveted country that the European powers craved to dominate. The Spanish, the English, the French, the Dutch, the Danes and the Portuguese were all vying for power in respective states. We know how the English managed to drive every one away and pillage, plunder and rape India for over 200 years. That is another story…

Let me set the scene for you. Hensman Anthony, a young lad, came with his father, a Portuguese merchant to trade in the port city of Chandannagar which was called Farashdanga. The Portuguese were on their last legs as they were getting hardcore competition from the Dutch and the French. Eventually the Dutch lost the plot to the French by 1825. The French managed to hold onto India till about the very end, but the British were definitely the undisputed rulers of the subcontinent.

So this young Portuguese lad is anyway on hostile territory where his people and country are on their last legs. He is no powerful English Officer, he is just the son of some Portuguese trader. There is competition and aggression from the other Europeans and from such a turbulent historical period came one of the greatest Shakta tantrics who wrote and sang some of the most moving hymns to the Goddess Kali/Durga.

How is this possible? How did a Portuguese lad learn Bengali? Not in the rudimentary level, but good enough to compose complex and intense poems which he performed in kavigans. Kavigans were literally poetry face off. Two poets would go head-to-head and spout their philosophy and tunes. The crowd would decide who was the more woke guy and they felicitated him.

This tradition of bard-face-offs have been discovered in most societies. It is not a product of Comedy Central. lol. Firstly, Anthony’s father was just a merchant, well to do, maybe…but then again, just a merchant and he must have wanted the young man to follow in his footsteps, not become some freaky bard who sang in Bengali. Like seriously???

But Anthony was more interested to escape into the heart of pastoral Bengal where he would play his lute and listen to the local poets sing passionately to invoke the Goddess.

Something snaps in his brain as he pulls a chillum. He hears the lingering words of the poet Ramprasad’s Shyamasangeet and it tugged at his heart in ways he could not understand. He would spend much of his time with the poets and other yogis he discovered on his travels. He begins to meditate and do sadhana.

Anthony also begins to learn Bengali, a language he falls in love with. Now let me mention here, that Anthony’s Bengali had to be really as good as any literate Bengali poet’s, otherwise he would never be allowed or able to compete, let alone win a kavigan.

Here was a man who learnt a foreign language to the expertise of the local intellectuals. Not only that, he began to compete with them, finally wining his bout most of the times, even with the most famous poet Bholamoira.

Bengali’s are extremely picky about their language and they are never happy with a foreigner being better at it than most of them. Kinda like the French. No one can speak French better than a Frenchman. But when the kundalini awakens, all knowledge becomes available.

Anthony had lived countless lifetimes in the heart of pastoral Bengal and he knew everything about it. The Bengali Brahmins ridiculed him for dressing like them, made fun of his devotion to Kali, teased him about Jesus Christ and the Church, to which he responded by saying, There is no difference in Christ and Kali my brothers…

Hello! Wtf do you say to a man like that? How does a European get here? This is not easy let me remind you. I for one know a woman from London who has lived in Bombay for over thirty years and she can barely say five words of Hindi.

And this is not like learning the language in a University and taking exams, then returning to your country and publishing books from there. Ah what a great Orientalist! Nope. This is no internet certification that now you are a certified Bengali poet.

This was raw, this was life, this was reality. He not only stayed and worked in Bengal, but he excelled at what he did in a foreign country he chose to call home. He lived in Bengal, amidst the Bengali’s and composed some of the most touching Shakta poetry they had ever heard!

And Bengali Brahmins were a closed, snobbish, gated society who considered Europeans mlecchas or untouchables. They would not even let Anthony drink water in their houses. My peeps, this is the situation in which this young man not only awakened his kundalini, but also gave us one of the greatest spiritual love stories to treasure.

I learnt of Firingi Kalibari when I was a child. My grandmother told me and I remember how enchanted I was to listen about a Portuguese man compose these sonnets and poems in Bnegali to the Goddess Kali. It always moved me to tears.

It was much later that I discovered the true greatness of this man. Now back to a history lesson and it is pretty macabre.

In Bengal, we practised some deadly misogynistic rituals….let Wikipedia dose you up.

Sati or suttee is an obsolete funeral custom where a widow immolates herself on her husband’s pyre or commits suicide in another fashion shortly after her husband’s death..~WIKI

My peeps, in less than 1 percent cases, did the woman actually want to commit suicide, but she was forced. By societal constructs, by tradition, by women like her mothers and sisters, enablers of patriarchy themselves. It was coercion. Nothing else.

Sati was ultimately abolished because of Brahmin reformers like RAJA RAMMOHAN ROY, bless his soul as it is his birthday today. Do you see how society has been burning women in different cultures, under different pretences since time immemorial!

Why did Sati even exist you ask? Because these Brahmin women could not find husbands. They were only allowed to marry a Kulin Brahmin of Bengali origin. So me love, because of my surname Mukerji, 300 years ago, I might have been burnt on my dead husband’s pyre. Yes, I am born in a Brahmin family and this is what they have been doing to my mothers, sisters, aunts and grandmothers.

Most of these women were forced to marry a single Brahmin patriarch, because there were no Brahmin men available. Bengali Brahmin aristocratic women were not allowed to even gaze upon a Brahmin, say from UP or Bihar. Forget a European.

My grandmother tells me how some English officers would come to meet her father. The women were never allowed to even glance at a European man. They lived in a different segment of the house anyway called ANDARMAHAL. She told me that there was an Englishman called Robert who really liked her. I think he sent her a letter through her maidservant and of course, all hell broke loose.

Not that my grandmother would have even reciprocated. You see, for them European men were strange creatures whom they did not consider as mates. It was literally that simple.

I am harping on the time-frame so you get a good understanding of how dangerous it was for Anthony to fall in love with a Bengali widow during such turbulent times. This is way more dangerous than the Romeo Juliet saga.

Anthony saves Soudamini from self immolation and takes her to his place. Now after laying the groundwork, I do not need to stress how dangerous an action this is.

Most of the intellectuals are pissed as he is doing so well in his kavigan face-offs. How dare an upstart European sing hymns to the Goddess? How can he have any knowledge of the Goddess? He is a Christians. And then he goes and rescues a Brahmin Bengali woman.

There have been cases of rape and molestation when European men and Indian women have been concerned. But I think this was the first time, in recorded history, a Brahmin woman consensually began to live with a European man openly, not giving a fuck as to what the villagers have to say.

They were twinflames who dedicated their life to awakening the kundalini, practiced tanta and even worked on developing the kali temple together. Their sadhana deeped and gathered a small following. This was no interracial love story of today where any person can get married to anyone as long as it is legal and sanctified by a court.

But here, there was no court, no law to allow a Brahmin widow to remain at the side of her European lover/partner. Their lives were plagued by attacks from the conservatives.

In the kabiyan competitions, Anthony’s rival poets often brought up Soudamini’s name to taunt and ridicule him. It upset him tremendously, but he learnt to take in in his stride.

This was 1830’s or so, it is now 2017 and not much has changed. Even today, in India, you can get attacked if you are in love with a man from a different faith or caste or whatever. I shared a video recently of a Hindu girl attacked by a woman politician for falling in love with a Muslim. So as you see my love, nothing has really changed.

At least they don’t burn us any more openly and call it sati. They would if they could. After all we need to be chaste and if we are truly chaste and not little whores then the fire would not burn us, would it? What Sita had to go through centuries ago, is very much an active wound in our unconscious.

Anthony and Soudamini were blooming in their creative, spiritual love nest they had created. Anthony had composed the AGAMANI SONGS, for which he became noted and this is like synchronicity on steroids because these hymns were written to Goddess Durga as she comes to visit Earth from her heavenly abode.

Guess what my love. That time is now. Goddess Durga or the KUNDALINI has just stirred and she is making her ascent at this time as I type. The Bengali’s celebrate Durga Puja now and it is the most important festival for them.

The Agamani Songs are to be hymned now and I think the spirit of Hensman Anthony is urging me to tell you his story. He wants you too know how much he loved the woman they took from him.

The world is truly cruel.

His wife Saudamini was burnt to death, for being a widow and re-marrying Anthony, who was a foreigner. ~~Wiki

There, that’s what the Brahmin puritanical conservatives did. They burnt her and their ashram while he was away. He may have returned home from one of his biggest wins to see his whole reality and the love of his life burnt to crisp.

Ominous, isn’t it? Soudamini was pregnant.

This is what bigotry does. This is the scope of fanaticism. As we head into the new Era, let us consider this as a cautionary tale. Maybe they took this karma upon themselves to show us what hatred can do. But in this there is a message…

Even after three hundred years, a random blogger/lifecoach finds this story to tell you at this very precise point in time?!? It means that hate did not win. Ultimately it is their love that won. It is their spiritual mission that is still standing as the Firingi Kalibari where millions of Shakta’s go to invoke the kundalini.

Love wins all my Beloved…

Find a man who will love you like Anthony loved Soudamini. Love a man who will go against all establishment to join with you in sacred union. Or else stay single.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For someone in some Multiverse

I know somewhere deep within the heart of the cosmos, you and me are in each other’s arms, maybe watching the Helix nebula. I know you are looking at me, like no one ever has and no one ever will, because only your eyes can perceive the depth of my soul. Only  you can understand my beauty the way you do.

I can see the love in your eyes. I can feel the memories of eternities coalesce into time and space, kaleidoscopes of memories flashing, the cacophony of your voices in diverse timelines calling my name, the sound of your laughter. It is all there, in my mind Beloved.

All those memories. All those eternities, they are compressed somewhere in my unconscious. I know we have grown old in each other’s arms a million, billion times. I know we have raised and cared for so many children. I know it. All those memories are buried in this 3D world. My conscious mind barely remembers you.

But somewhere, something has stirred and snippets of memory flood my mind. They refuse to go away. They torture me, they plague me, until I meditate or write or do photography. I have to channel this intensity in art. That is why I have lost myself in art this lifetime beloved.

I know you are there somewhere, in the Universe today. Not by my side and you will not grow old with me. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. I don’t know why. Why is there so much pain for a life never lived? For memories never shared? How is every inch of you so very precious to me? When I have not even touched your body?

I know you irritate me too, and anger me and provoke me. But then I know that you are here to show me parts of my soul. For you are my soul. Is that even possible?

Why do I feel so linked to you? I know I have never met you. At least not consciously. Maybe somehow, somewhere our paths have crossed in this 3D and we probably did not recognise each other. I know I was not spiritually mature enough to identify you. Maybe you managed to identify me?

Maybe we met…maybe we looked at each other across the room. Maybe we passed each other on the beach? In some party?

I have fallen in love, but not the intensity I know I can experience with you. Yes I can love without you, but I don’t want to. I know you will come.

In fact even if you are in another dimension, I know you will find a way to time travel through the warps of time and space. You will come to meet me.

I want to tell you that you have been my muse and I am so thankful for all the creative energy you have sent my way. I can feel your energy, you know, at times. Especially when you think of me. And I know when you are thinking of me, because every fibre of my being can feel that longing from your end. I can feel how badly you want me. I want you as badly, if not more.

You know I am reminded of Keats when he says, My love has made me selfish…not because your love has in any way made me selfish, but because it has done the very opposite. Your love has opened me up to greater love that exists in creation. The love I feel for you is now expressed as love for all.

You are my home. Even if you are stacked away in some other multiverse. Maybe we will meet when our Universes collide and information bleeds into both of them. That is when you and me may come face to face.

Will our timelines collide? Will the hologram direct you to me?

I know I have been waiting…for a very long time for you to come. But you never came and I am not angry with you about that. I understand you are yet not ready to come which is why you have not come. I am not ready obviously as well.

I want to tell you one thing…I am a survivor. I have survived molestation, I have survived the cruel world, I have survived terrible relationships and I am still here.

In fact nothing could break me. I knew of the spiritual world and of you. I knew this 3D world is illusion. Everything here is an illusion, even the rape. This reality is JUST ANOTHER SIMULATION.

Which is why you are probably so far away, in another multiverse, in another timeline. Tell me, are you aware of me? Do you know I exist? Does your soul call out to mine? Does your body crave to be entwined with mine?

I know you know of me, whether consciously or unconsciously is the question. Have you reached that spiritual level of identifying me? I haven’t obviously.

ARE YOU CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF ME?

The thing is, I know of you because when everything turned cold and dead, you existed, as a flame in my heart. I am wild, my Beloved. I am untamed as I roam the earth looking for you.

I have looked for you in many dimensions, through the Bardos, through the Nine Gates of Hell and I am not even sure if I managed to find you there. For I don’t remember when we last met in the physical world.

I just have sudden flashes. Of your eyes. Your smile. Your hair.

Sometimes I am sure I have heard you call my name. I don’t know what name you called me by, but I know you were calling me. Time and again, I have woken up in my sleep, my heart beating ferociously.

I know the time will surely come one day. Do you feel that? Do you feel the urge to meet me? I was not expecting you to show up in this life, but now I so badly hope for that.

You know as I began to type this letter, I knew the futility of this exercise. How will I express myself? How will I explain my love for you? How will I reveal to you what your heart feels for me? For I know when we meet, we will melt away…in each other’s arms.

I am typing this…hoping that our timelines collide and somehow through digital interference you get to read this in your own multiverse. I think if you read it(presuming you are not reading it already), then you might figure out the whole goddamn connection. Maybe in your Universe, there is time travel available. Maybe you can hop into some hi-tech piece of computation and visit me here. Yes here, on my humble Earth.

My Earth may be slightly polluted, but she is very beautiful. When you come, maybe I can take you to Goa. Maybe you have a Goa in your Universe. Wow!

Let me share a quote with you…You are all about me – I seem to breathe you – hear you – feel you in me and of me…Katherine Mansfield wrote that to her lover. In case you don’t know who she is, well…she is probably one of the best short story writers in the world and a feminist icon. She is my favourite and has been my muse for a screenplay I wrote based on her love life. She had a tempestuous love life BTW.

The quote sort of echoes what I feel about you.  How succinctly she puts it…feel you in me and of me…SUBLIME! We are of each other- star dust, my Beloved.

Have you felt like that about someone? Is that someone me? Just ask your heart.

I have visualised us making love. So many, so many times that it drives me nuts to even think about it. This obsession with you has now become all consuming and I cannot stop thinking about you. Sleepless have I become in this 3D illusion, my Beloved.

In a way your love woke me up. From the dense vibrations of this manifestation. It brought with it a subtlety of feeling and emotion and of course creative fire. I have become a poet for you, for your love.

I have become a dancer for the music you play. Tell me Beloved, are you CONSCIOUSLY PLAYING THAT MUSIC? Or are you just as unaware as I am.

You are my nightmare as much as my dream.

You are my smile as much as my scream.

 

Let me end here before I go crazy.