Today I let go…

Today I let go…

I let go of your eyes..

Today I let go…

I let go of your smile.

For those eyes never twinkled for me.

For that smile never flashed for me.

Today I let go…

I let go of the unrealistic expectations I have carried for so long.

Today I let go…

I let go of ever hearing your voice call my name.

Today I let go…

I let go of the futility of my emotions…

Today I let go…

I let go of the craving in my heart for you…

Today I let go…

I let go of the impossible connection I thought we had.

 

We never spoke.

But I know we exchanged a million looks.

We never touched.

But I know exactly how your skin would feel.

We never even met.

But I know from the moment I saw you that you are the ONE for me.

 

This is ridiculous.

This feeling of such abstract love.

A love that never was and never will be.

I thought we had a chance.

But we don’t.

Is it because I held onto the notion of you for so long?

 

Which is why…

Today I let go…

I let go of everything…

 

Tell me…

Is it possible to love someone without ever meeting them?

Is it possible to feel so deeply for a stranger?

For someone with whom you have not even exchanged a greeting?

Is it possible to have such strong love for someone you might have seen in the crowd?

 

I remember the way you looked at me,

That one time in my dreamworld,

When you and me drowned in colours of red.

Embraced each other.

It was just a dream.

It was a moment of retrocausality.

I know you are my future which is why I held onto the past so vehemently.

 

I know that we are one,

Never separated.

Which is why today I let go…

I let go of wanting to be with you,

Because you are and will be, forever with me.

 

tina@tinaheals.com

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Twinflame Love~~ <3

HDF

Not a moment longer can I wait,

It’s already so late.

Will you not say what is burning your lips?

Will you not reveal your heart?

It’s tearing me apart.

How long will you let silence envelope your being?

This 3D world is all about ageing and dying.

How long will your torture continue?

Is there no other avenue?

For expressing your love?

Yes, it is you my Beloved,

If you do not know it so.

It is you for whom my body burns,

My mind imagines and my soul reincarnates.

Dissolve this dualism.

Return to me, my Beloved.

Not a moment longer can I wait.

You are the ONENESS of existence,

You are the separation of sky and water,

You are the rhythm of the pulsating stars,

Vortexes do you create with your breath.

Universes reside in your pores my Beloved.

In every way you are what I created.

In the canvas of my mind.

Like a tornado did you come into my life.

Ripping away every shard of sanity.

Insane have I become.

For you, for your love and for union.

Every stab of pain that I have ever felt.

It was you my beloved.

For how would I know you,

If I did not know pain.

You are my first rays of the Sun,

You are the pale kiss of the Moon,

You are the dream of a perfect imperfection!

Where is the peace that I long for?

Where is the Silence I seek?

The quest of looking for you,

Through aeons of time and space.

Is there no grace?

Tired am I.

 

Enter into me and reside there now my Beloved.

I know I have found God.

No more residing in the eye of insanity.

That time when we kissed.

Those tears kept flowing through our eyes.

They flooded our souls.

Uncontrollable were the emotions.

In the mind’s oceans.

This birth I have looked for you,

and in the life before,

And I will keep looking even after.

Thirsty and hungry am I now my Beloved.

Our love story will remain hidden,

In the secret scrolls of humanity.

Let us circle around the sacred tree.

In silent ceremony of our union.

Humanity is not ready to love like this.

Not yet.

My Beloved, all this is just a dream.

Wake up now and come to me.

The rain flows from the sky and tears from my eyes.

For this cycle of birth I have waited.

Waited for your embrace.

Every single day I sit in worship.

I look into the eyes of Shiva and all I see,

Are your eyes dancing back.

I sit atop the mountain

The wind shoves me to the floor,

Like it is you.

My body tingles and my heart sings.

It scares me to think that we might be simulations.

A forgotten project in some far away World.

My Beloved, you and me might not exist in reality.

It’s as if I feel a panic attack.

But no, says an inner voice.

Everything is as real or as unreal,

As experiences.

Reality is experience.

It exists cause we view it.

We have subscribed to this show.

Whether we like it or not.

But it’s not too late to unsubscribe.

We can create our own story.

I don’t care if you are real or unreal.

For what is real?

You might be as unreal as the Universe itself.

But does that make my  love any less real?

This is our time to play together.

For soon our worlds will collide.

Our energy fields fused in one.

Do you feel it like I do?

 

 

 

 

Neptune Retrograde 2017~~

Neptune is a most mystical and, from the level of the Soul, a most benefic influence in one’s life. Neptune is the expression in the solar system of the heart of the spiritual Sun. It is the planet most closely linked with the work of the Soul in manifestation and is thus the vehicle for the Christ consciousness, which is indeed at the Heart of Divinity. Through Cancer, Neptune may be thought of as the higher octave of the Moon. The latter is the Mother of All Forms, but form is always used in our solar system to express Love/Wisdom, the Second Ray, the Soul aspect of Spirit. We know this to be, when manifesting in the Human Kingdom, ~Love Incarnate~ – the indwelling Christ Principle. ~~ESOTERIC ASTROLOGY, Alice Bailley

Neptune unites us to our SOULMATES and TWINFLAMES. How very exciting! If you channel this energy, you might be able to connect to the etheric body of your Twinflame. Are you willing to try? If your INTENT is strong, it is possible.

Neptune is the eighth furthest planet from the sun in our solar system, the fourth largest in diameter and the third most massive. The planet is named after the Roman God of the Sea, Neptune and RULES ALL THINGS OCCULT.

8 is the first cube of energy, and is the only evenly even number within the decad. The Greeks thought it an all-powerful number; they had a Proverb “all things are eight.” 8 is INFINITY flipped over! 888 is the special number of Jesus Christ as “He who is the Resurrection and the Life.” He is the great opponent of the 666, the number of the Beast, the number of a Man. It is now crystal clear how Neptune is linked to the GREAT WHITE BROTHERHOOD or SHAMBALA!

On July 23(on my birthday :O ), there is a Roman Holiday called Neptunalia, that was made in honour of Neptune. I have decided to get an aquamarine dress for the occasion to invoke Neptune as he loves that colour. Try this yourself. Use colours to enliven this vibe. For me this Neptune Retrograde is touching upon private matters of sex, recreation, creativity and intuition and bringing to forefront these issues which I have to deal with. You need to look at your natal chart to see where this will affect you. Oh and do you know you can invoke Neptune for rain? Yes you can bring rain with a bit of Neptunian magick! And you can do this with meditation!

Neptune rules the astrological sign Pisces (along with Jupiter)
Colours: Green, blue, lavender
Minerals: Coral, aquamarine, platinum, neptunium
Body Part: the thalamus and spinal column
Action: Dissolving boundaries, expanding upon ideas, changing established rules
Represents: Intuition, idealism, sacrifice, glamour, illusion, evolution and decay

The Tarot Card for Neptune is THE HANGED MAN! Keywords for this card are

  • LETTING GO
  • REVERSAL
  • SUSPENSION
  • SACRIFICE

Think of where you need to let go? Think of how you can create a reversal of fortunes? Think of how why you feel suspended? Do you feel suspended? Are you sacrificing too much? Try to understand how the force of PARADOX is operating in your life.

Go and watch a play if you can. I am planning to go for one this Saturday at the NCPA. Theatre can bring to surface a lot of unconscious material. It always does so for me. Of course I have worked in Theatre, as an Actor, as well as a Writer and also as the Director’s Assistant. Theatre is an old lover of mine and boy, do I like making love to him! 😉

“One of the most occult of the planets, Neptune, presides over the ‘devas of the waters’; their presiding deva Lord, Varuna, the Raja of the astral plane, being an emanation from that planet.” ~~Alice Bailley

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varuna

Varuna is the King of the Nagas. He is depicted as a Blue Being accompanied by a court of Nagas or with a chariot drawn by seven white swans. It was said that the swans use to be black but though the blessing of Varuna he transformed their colour into a white milk-like substance. Later on in history he became just the God of the Sea and all the rivers and that is why he is recognised as the Naga King. Varuna is the deity of the sunsets. He is the symbol of the sun that sinks into the horizon in the West and travels to the other side, East by nigh, a symbol of that which we cannot see. A symbol of the UNKNOWABLE. Inexplicable!

Varuna mantra purifies the physical and emotional bodies and brings to the surface discordant emotional patterns hidden deep within the sea of the unconscious. I have done this meditations as I sat near the sea in Goa.

Om Jala Bimbaya Vidmahe
Nila Purushaya Dhee Mahe
Thanno Varuna Prachodayath

The simple form is Om Vam Varunaya Namaha. Chant this by the sea and visualise the whole water body as the body of NEPTUNE or VARUNA!

Neptune takes about 164 years to do a complete revolution around the Sun, thus spending about 14 years in each sign of the Zodiac and when it moves into retrograde approximately every year, it stays so for around 150 days. During the retrograde our spirituality, BLISS, and vision(INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL) become the focal points. Do you feel awake in your dreams? Maybe you are LUCID DREAMING? Listen to your intuition at this stage for it will tell you all you need to know.

Neptune, neptune, is the soul above matter and open to inspiration and illumination or muddle and confusion, depending on how it is placed. Some people put a circle at the bottom of this symbol. This is spirit rising into both the soul and matter to inspire them with mysticism and transcend boundaries. ~~astro.com

Neptune is the Empath and Dreamer. A lot of us have Neptune in Sag and on this Friday Neptune stationing retrograde at 14° 16′ Pisces, the last and the most mystical sign of the Zodiac. The symbol of Neptune is a TRIDENT, like LORD SHIVA. It is a trinity and symbolises –

  • Birth, Life, Death
  • Mind, Body, Spirit
  • Past, Present, Future

The number 3 is one of the most important numbers in our world. It represents the trinity, unity, opposition and the beginning, middle and end. The creation of our world dividing time into morning, noon, evening, with the past, the present, and the future. With his 3 forked trident, Neptune holds power over the 3 principalities of heaven, the earth, and hell. ~~Gnostic Warrior

If you wish to explore MYTHS and LEGENDS or introduce your children to FAIRY TALES, this alignment is very supportive. Use this retro energy. And the campfire gatherings can be more exciting and thrilling with those ghost stories. If you are a HORROR FREAK, like me, then binge watch everything you can on Netflix! Like I plan to do on Sunday and whenever I get time. Cinema unravels a lot in the mind during this time.

One of the slower-moving celestial bodies (or “collective,” as their influence extends over generations), in the natal chart of anybody born between November 1970 to January 1984, and again briefly between June and November 1984, Neptune will be in Sagittarius, a sign where this deep-sea diver feels quite at home. ~~numinous.com

Neptune’s Retrograde motion is not felt as much as say a Venus or a Mercury, but he operates in the background and connects us to all magickal and supernatural realms.

Talking about magickal, Neptune rules FILMS, TELEVISION, our individual and collective IMAGINATION, our INSPIRATIONS or MUSES, psychedelics and other mind altering substances and POETRY!

What are you waiting for? Compose those sonnets you’ve always wanted to pen down? Write out those lines that are screaming inside of you asking to be unleashed. Explore the POET in you. Explore the PHOTOGRAPHER in you. Make a video and  upload it onto Youtube, see how the world reacts. This retrograde is a perfect time for that.

Neptune is the FAIRY TALE into which we escape, it is what keeps us bewitched! In it’s lower vibrations, it is pure delusion. Like that old lady in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM who got addicted to speed pills just because she wanted to lose weight and be on TV in her old red dress. That is the lower polarity of Neptune and we have to face it.

Over the years, as I have been consulting with people, I have seen that a lot of sexual abuse takes place during this retrograde. Of course other hard aspects are present, but there is more of the date-rape thing. More eve teasing. More rapes. So be CAREFUL with all caps!

If we have been deluding ourselves, this retrograde will force us to come out of this stupor, it could be drug induced too and address reality. If you have been lying to yourself about your relationship, then the cracks will start showing and it won’t be pretty. If you have run up a huge debt and have not yet restructured your finances and figured out other sources of income, then you will be in doldrums. No matter what you are running from, will come to bite you in the ass. No kidding! Be ready, be prepared. For that is what astrology can gift us!

Who will feel this retrograde the most?

Those who have hard natal aspects in the mutable signs at 14° are the ones most likely to be affected. For example, if you have a natal square between your Pisces Sun and Mars in Gemini at 14°, Neptune will be conjoining your Sun and triggering the natal square. Part of the reason we seldom notice troublesome Neptune events until well after the fact is because we’re in denial caused by Neptune in the first place. ~~Libraseekingbalance

Neptune spends the most time treading water in retrograde motion – 158 days every 12.07 months – a fitting pattern for the planet that also governs subconscious memories of distant childhood and even past lives. ~~numinous.com

Things that have not been understood, acknowledged and integrated in our deep psyches can now return to haunt us. Dreams become very POWERFUL. Dreams of PAST LIVES may occur. For someone like me who is into LUCID DREAMING, this time of Neptune swimming backwards gives me the most symbolic and prophetic dreams. And of course I am day dreaming a lot more as this time nears.

This is the time to listen to your INTUITION. This is a great time for MAGICK and RITUAL. If you are unsure, email me. Use your MENSTRUAL BLOOD for the rituals and it will be even more effective.

Neptune retrograde in the natal chart could often bring about memories from Past Lives. Some people who recollect their past incarnations have a strong Neptune placement and alignments. Past Life Regression therapy really works well now.

Dreams…

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~~Edgar Allan Poe

Do you remember the 2010 film INCEPTION? I had to bring it up, that famous dream-in-a-dream-in-a-dream is so Neptune retro energy and Christopher Nolan has created this twisted, fascinating dreamscape that is so detailed and precise that it is terrifying!

The whole DREAM EXPLORATION theme, in itself is Neptunian energy and so is the meaning of the title Inception. It is the practice of entering dreams and planting an idea in someone’s head.  That never-ending-staircase. Do you remember it? What do you think they symbolise? Paradoxes in life? They are logical fallacies that have no existence in reality. Kinda what Neptune shows us while it dissolves boundaries. It shows us the temporal nature of this 3D world.

The Moon veils Neptune just as, in the mass consciousness (Cancer) form veils the subjective love alive within the form. Yet in traditional astrology, the veil is taken to be Neptune and the illusion, or mask of form, is seen to be the influence of this planet. This is not the true essence or function of the God of the Waters, for Neptune comes to us from the Soul level as the Initiator, Planet of the Christ. It’s trident is symbolic of the Trinity (Shiva-Vishnu-Brahma; Father-Mother-Son; Will-Love-Intelligence); it’s recent purpose, to serve as the stimulator of the Piscean Age. ~~Esoteric Astrology

Alice Bailley tells us that the esoteric ruler of Cancer is Neptune and that links Scorpio to Cancer. Basically it brings together all the three water signs as Neptune has a deep relationship with each of them.

Neptune (with Venus and Jupiter) Active at the Second Initiation:
“At the second initiation, the candidate comes under the influence of three planets—Neptune, Venus and Jupiter. The three centres—solar plexus, heart and throat—are actively involved.” ~~Alice Bailley

It is imperative to understand that Neptune in its higher vibration is SPIRITUAL LOVE, the highest OCTAVE of VENUS. While Venus is about intimate sensuality, Neptune teaches us how to transmute that sensuality into divine spiritual union. That is the magick of this planet! It teaches us spiritual ascension through tantric sex!

Where Venus represents love and personal relationships, Neptune inspires us to open our hearts to Divine Love and a relationship with the Universe itself. ~~astrodynamics.com

Collectively, these three sets of planetary octavals and vibrations constitute what is known as the threefold, Triadic Astrological Body (TAB). By “threefold triadic body”, it is submitted that these three primary sets of astrological octavals govern the holistic attributes that constitute an individual’s soul:

  1. The mental body (Mercury/Uranus),
  2. The emotional body (Venus/Neptune), and
  3. The desire body (Mars/Pluto) ~~ astrologyclub.com

Planetary spirits belong to hierarchies of evolved beings who have dominion over planets and chains of globes.  They have passed through human stages of evolution in previous cycles. HPB stated that “The highest planetary spirit ruling over any globe is in reality the ‘Personal God’ of that planet and far more truly its ‘over-ruling providence’ than the self-contradictory Infinite Personal Deity of modern Churchianity” the Voice of the Silence states that “Every spiritual EGO is a ray of a ‘Planetary Spirit.’”

The Mahatma KOOT HOOMI wrote that the mission of the Planetary Spirit is “to strike the Key Note of Truth” which becomes the “innate ideas” of humanity (ML, pp. 59-60) and it is the PLANETARY SPIRIT OF NEPTUNE, the rules of PISCES, that teaches us TRUE SPIRITUALITY and COSMIC LOVE! And we are so ready now, as a collective to learn and absorb this lesson!

Neptune holds a very important place in the Aquarian Age. The goal of human evolution is to produce the Messiah, the Initiate, the Mahdi, the Coming One. ~~Esoteric Astrology

The AGE OF MAITREYA!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maitreya

Some people may be tapping into a lower vibration of this energy and pushing themselves as gurus and holy men when in reality they intend to delude. So spiritual con artists will be at work. BE-AWARE! But spiritual LIGHT WORKERS will show up in abundance too and it is up to us to use our discretion to figure out the true from the false!

Speaking of Inception-like dream-in-a-dream, I want to share one such dream that keeps coming to me. I am falling through a black hole and while falling I wake up and then I finally wake up in my bed. And this falling motif has suddenly began to resurface as Neptune is about to station retro. I am fascinated by dreams, so this is a wondrous time for me. Get your dream journal out! Seriously do it!

It may prove of interest to state that the planet Neptune does not belong to our Universal Solar System. While it is a “planet” in that it does revolve around our sun, in reality it is a “capture” — captured as other planets have taken to themselves “moons” (or more accurately, satellites, as each planet can have only one true moon). Furthermore, inasmuch as the planet Uranus revolves around our sun, it is a member of our Universal Solar System, though not of our Solar System. ~~Theosophy Wiki

Therefore Neptunian energies may feel ALIEN! Depending on how your chart is being triggered, you might begin to feel like the alien or the outsider. In that case, remember, we are all outsiders here as beings of pure light experiencing this 3D world of pain and pleasure, the two foremost binaries.

OPEN YOUR HEART to COSMIC LOVE, then you will be able to feel the healing blueness of Neptune work wonders in your life. Call upon SANGYE MENLA or the MEDICINE BUDDHA to heal you. Blue Tara also works wonders! She is also called Nila Saraswati.

Neptune was also considered the legendary progenitor god of a Latin stock, the Faliscans,
who called themselves Neptunia proles. In this respect he was the equivalent of Mars, Janus, Saturn and even Jupiter among Latin tribes. Salacia would represent the virile force of Neptune. Neptune is apparently also equivalent with Atlas, Uranus, Orion, and Venus. And every other name you can give to the Universe “Holos”.~~WIKI

spiritual-love

The best way to use this Neptune energy would be to MEDITATE near a water body. If possible, go to the sea. Just sit in silence and watch the waves crash on the shore. Just listen to the sea. Just smell the sea. You may visualise all your NEGATIVE THOUGHTS flowing into the sea and becoming drops of water. Cleanse yourself, mind, body and soul.

You can install a water sculpture or a fish tank in the North direction of your house. Feeding the fish and watching them swim around can be extremely therapeutic. Try it.

You can do regular foot baths at this time. Soak your feet in EPSOM SALT and visualise all the negativity leaving your body. Feel lighter. Activate the salt and water with mantras or intentions.

You can use the Neptune energy in any healing magick and spells associated with the spine, psychological illnesses, neuroses, nervous breakdowns or any mysterious sickness.

Call upon water sprites, nymphs and mermaids for manifestation and protection as they are activated by this Neptune Retrograde. Spenser, in The Faerie Queene, wrote of “their sweet skills in wonted melody, which ever after they abused to ill, to allure weak travellers, whom gotten, they did kill”. In many of his cantos he spoke of the mermaid as a dangerous lure to be dreaded by the knight-hero of the story. But Mermaids are divine beings like the Hindu Apsaras whose name means ‘moving on the (celestial) water’. They are often associated with the power of prophecy and may even grant wishes or protection. But their vengeance can be cruel, for they can whip the waves and sink ships as readily as lure the unsuspecting youth. That is just patriarchy destroying the power of the untamed female, like BLACK MOON LILITH! Don’t be afraid to BE-COME a MERMAID if you so desire. Yes even a little cosplay could add to the excitement.

A little bit of astrotalk…

BLACK MOON LILITH is squaring NEPTUNE in PISCES very closely as Neptune turns Retrograde on June 16 @  14+ Pisces.  They exactly square on Summer Solstice June 21st. 

It means that Neptune that rules over the Media, mental health, oil, pharma is reconstructing its dynamics with the untamed wild feminine aspect. Let’s just say that the way MEDIA looks at WOMEN will change forever. Go Wonder Woman!

Invisible worlds exist, scattered throughout apparent space, and they are “inhabited as thickly as our own”. H.P. Blavatsky wrote of the finny tribes which swarm in our familiar bodies of water as being analogous to the various races of Planetary, Elemental and other Spirits…So yes, Mermaids exist. Unicorns exist. Everything your mind can conceive of, also exists…

As Mercury is Lightbearer of the physical Sun, so Neptune is Lightbearer for the spiritual Sun, (called Vulcan by the Western Mystics). ~~ The Message of the Stars

It is believed that Neptune also rules over our PINEAL GLAND! If you are tuned into the cosmic energies, you will feel an itch in your third eye. It might even vibrate, like mine does sometimes. Practice tratak if possible for this will greatly energise your third eye. This greatly develops your PSYCHIC POWERS and ESP.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11552/10-minute-yoga-sequence-for-a-strong-flexible-spine.html

Try to begin this regime for spine health~~

Neptune retrograde 2017 aligns closely with the Moon to make this an especially sensitive time. As well as feeling more emotional and romantic, you may also feel suspicious of others and extremely vulnerable. Any alignment of the Moon with Neptune increases the risk of infection and illness. The stationing of Neptune retrograde is just one more astrological reason that increases this risk of health problems. I expect that during Neptune retrograde 2017 there will be an increase in infectious diseases as a result of epidemics or possibly a pandemic affecting millions of people. ~~Astrology King

Always use protection! And be mindful of not getting infected. Do not panic, just be aware. Eat healthy and deep breathe. I know that Empaths, Psychics and Sensitives will be greatly impacted by this retrograde. Eat a raw clove of GARLIC with honey on empty stomach. Eat GINGER with PINK HIMALAYAN ROCK SALT. You can also add Probiotics in your diet. Just ensure your immune system is doing fine. Burn incense and regularly give yourself massages that end with an ecstatic rapture! 😉

If you look after the TRINITY, body, mind and spirit, then your psyche will be FERTILE and ACTIVE with ARCHETYPAL SYMBOLISM from which you can channel infinite creativity, bliss and love. Your dreams will become Universes of their own…What type of a Universe will you create?

Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. ~~Khalil Gibran

Thank You~~

Email me tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

Prologue~The Plan, a novel by Tinaheals


Publishing parts of my novel…help me publish!!! Fund me!!!

Prologue

The hunger in her soul, the song in her eyes, and the vibration of her heart called out to me from the hologram.

What hologram? The one you exist in my friend!

It’s the cosmic television, like the one you stare at for hours every day. What else do you do when you return home from work after a long tedious day? TELEVISION na?

That same kind of television; imagine it in a slightly grander scale, nope, maybe not just slightly, imagine it to be grander on an unprecedented scale!

A cosmic television! Aha!

You experience me and your three dimensional space as you do images on the T.V.

Listen listen, at this level, everything there is, was or could be exists as a super-holographic sequence. Everything exists simultaneously. The albatross of doom over your head?

Forget that bird, listen carefully. These lines exist now and have always existed, in a sense I have always been talking to you, you in the hologram, me in it, sometimes out of it, nope I’m in it too; she is a hologram.

I don’t know quite how to explain it,

Something in her craving for truth, something in the way she depicted existence called out to me. A very abstract, unquantifiable sentiment entangled the abstract in me. Things don’t usually impact me as they do you.

I am myself an abstraction concretized!

This Book of Life and Death may give you some answers. Are you looking for answers? If not then bandh karo and chalo.

A story it will be, yes definitely! Let it oscillate in your mind. Let it do the disco dancing.

The ouroboros of a story, without a beginning or an end!  Now you’re confused. Don’t be it’s just a story or is it? But while observing this story, remember, I take the artistic liberty to leave anything out, the very subtle nuances, the finer intricacies are often not done justice with words; soak the emotions up, let them begin to ferment in your mind and sprout ideas, thoughts, actions like a bean when soaked in water overnight; such strangeness does exist and such a strange narrator may or may not.

Time, time, time, cut its throat,

Ambiguity personified.

Derelict dreams, dysfunctional dilemma.

In the beginning was the word and then I appeared as the silent witness of all this mess, , the frequencies or sound in the light and the vibrations or light in the sound.

Mighty civilizations have appeared and disappeared without a trace, Zeno’s paradox has been thought of, if everything has a place, then place must also have a place, yes or no, to ad infinitum; the megaliths of Puma Punku have been built but now lie scattered as shattered memories of a bygone past that no one knows anything of, the dinosaurs have roamed the Earth and have been destroyed on the Western Ghats, the Kumari Kandam was lost to the sea taking with it a chunk of land from what you call India, and of course emperors, maharajas, kings, Prime Ministers have been assassinated, dethroned under my watchful gaze.

Listen to this, it’s her poetry. These few lines she wrote that had this stark honest, raw and original feel to it, yes, it made sense in all the nonsense and it made me want to collect this in the Book of Life and Death.

The human body is the war ground of Kurukshetra,

Reality lies is the five senses,

I see you, I hear you, I feel you, I smell you and I taste you!

In the world of dreams there are no differences,

I still see you, I still hear you….you get the gist!

The dream world is full of thoughts,

They are like drops from an ink pen, falling blot after blot,

They are like smoke from an incense, here one minute, gone the next.

They are like lightning, you see it for a nano second,

They are like thunder; you hear it, loud and clear, but then just the sound of the rain.

I am vexed!

These thoughts, they are my defence, my escape, my dream.

It was her grandfather, a kriya yogi, one of Babaji’s very own crusaders, who told her this truism as she crunched autumn leaves under her feet; the sound thrilled her to the very bottom of her soul- crunch, crunch, crunch!

Yes the human body is the esoteric Kurukshetra, more on that later. Who is Babaji? Even I don’t know.

 

Think about it, think long and hard,

Of the fragments, the notes all jarred,

The way things are designed, the way things feel,

In reality, there are no eyes, no ears, no mouth, no tongue, and no touch!

Is this a little too much??

Only electrical stimuli interpreted by our brain,

Do not ridicule this concept, do not think it insane!

You’re definitely wondering how you got stuck in here? Reading these lines and for what…do not despair my friend, it’ll be well worth your time, just read on, enjoy a writer’s psychosis.

There is no material reality,

I am asleep, I am dreaming, I do not realize,

That all is just perception!

These words they create just the sensation, an awareness of stimulation!

Now I wake up from this dream,

I seriously think I have entered another one,

The so-called real life, I hear it scream!

What is this life, but a dream? Do not for one minute think that your dream world is any more real than this solid physical world you inhabit, in fact the Sun, the Moon and the real you are all hidden away; it is every bit as real, yet, unreal. Makes no sense, it probably never will, but just read on…sapna, sapna, sapna…

Now this, it seems as true as my dream world,

How am I to know the difference?

My reality is blurred, it swirls and twirls.

This world is nothing but a habit,

Our belief, our dogmas, our prejudice!

A futile edifice, a worthless emphasis, an abject sedative

Of Nothingness!!!

Form = emptiness, emptiness = form
Emptiness is not separate from form, form is not separate from emptiness…all is nothing and nothing is all.
Whatever is form is emptiness, whatever is emptiness is form, you know that the atom that you’re made of is empty, yes, my friend, mostly empty. Hulk-like we stay in the understanding that the body is solid, but it’s not.

 

The brain is not the Perceiver or the Perceived!

Who am I?

What is this world?

Who are you?

Who thinks these thoughts?

Who is this ME?

Who is writing these words?

To what avail?

 

I’m just a ghost in the machine,

An echo of an echo of an echo,

Reverberating through time and space!

Who is this seer?

Who contemplates this Universe to be unreal?

Who has all these thoughts in the head?

Only questions and never an answer!!!

A man and his thoughts are indefinable, and why so, because in the beginning he is nothing. His identity is shaped by what he can conceive of for himself; imagine all the poets and novelists creeping through the alleys in the urban atrocities looking for inspiration, staring at hollow faces coveting their neighbours meals or wives, the morbid fascination to see accidents, CSI shtyle. The flâneurie you take, to clear your mind, but there are questions and more questions…how is the human reality carved out from this nothingness?

Yoni shariram- the form appears from the vagina of Gaia,

Of Dharitri, of Zemia, of Erde, of Terre…

She is the mother, the sanctum sanctorum of creation.

This human body is the cause of such conflict,

There is segregation, separation and destruction,

In her very womb, we have been tricked by addicts of violence.

 

For a split second during meditation,

Comes the realization-

It is the Atman,

Matter has no self governing existence,

All things perceived, interpreted and seen,

Is a dream within a dream, a dream within a dream…?

 

The Indian subcontinent is the setting. It’s an oxymoron really- the youngest country, the oldest civilization!

The Sapta Sindhu is the beginning point in this case, then mutated to the India you see today the children of Lord Macauley, yes, you; at one point it was taken over by the East India Company, it’s holy books misinterpreted, unbridled fabrication of its history by so-called scholars who sought to assuage the Imperial agenda. The modern Indians, good little examples of Macauley’s vision; Pygmalion of the British Raj, just perfect, innit?

Bapuji Gandhi, assassinated, yup shot through the heart by Godse, GOD SAY?? Subhas Chandra Bose taken out of the equation, “Give me blood and I’ll give you freedom,” his naares did not do him much good, Delhi chalo, a flop show. The resilient cries of Vande Mataram drowned to the gunfire of the English army; what else could be expected? The British crown required the Kohinoor, which was just a drop in the pond, but you see why they had to control Bharata. Silks, spices, treasures, ancient texts, secrets, UFO anti-gravity technology and what not!

And then the finale- the unrestrained Anglicization of a country steeped in timeless tradition and time-honoured culture where every Indian was made to feel ashamed of their skin colour, clothing, customs, mores, literature, traditions, values and hoary heritage. Brownies were good as kerani, slaves, considering themselves as babus, who were created to suck up to their English civilized lords, the great white civilization.

Sycophants gathered in large numbers to appease the egos, fill up the stomachs and pockets and offer their heads and arses (maybe not literally, bloody buggers) in return to the Angrezi Babus. For what? Goods, ideas, concepts from vilayet! Aha! What amazing things they had and yes it was deemed to sell off the country piece by piece for these lovely things and for progress.(???)

 

The body of ancient Bharatvarsha hacked to create Pakistan and Bangladesh, its bleeding remains termed as secular India.

A new era began with the corporate takeover and rampant Americanization, you’re all living in America, HAARP and underwater nuclear detonations creating Tsunamis, the death industry of Macdonald’s and KFCs, fast food bhaiyaji, engineered famines with the Monsantos of the world, Islamic jehadis and Durga Vahinis, unrest and suspicion, religious intolerance and forced conversions, death and destruction, Nehru’s dynasty and Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi’s legacy of khadi and molestations, Congress under an Italian and BJP under the butcher of Gujarat as the country jostled and elbowed its way into the twenty-first century to sit at that table with the big white boys; witness, I was to it all and will continue to be….

The H-Bomb at work almost destroyed what you humans built, but do you seriously think this was first time in history that such a disaster occurred- nuclear weaponries have been used before in this very subcontinent. Yes my friend…Now I am become Death, the destroyer of world, yes Opperheimer, you can be the key to destruction of your world in your times. I have seen it happen and we’ve all been destroyed by it until another dawn awakens to the call of the creator. A new hologram is fractalized!
The watcher must now be a narrator and I must say it as I see it, Time for you right now is anthropomorphized.

Impatient kya boss? What about the story?? It’s coming, wait for it or you want it instantly. In this age of instant coffees and instant karmas, do you want an instant story as well?

Let’s do some akkar bakkar for a little bit more; arre don’t be so grumpy, chumpy. Humour me. Tick, tock, tick tock, it goes on and on in your psyche. Think hard, who am I?

Got it? Or no? Well…

You are in fact my slave, from the aam admi to the Prime Minister with his acche din slogans, from Mr. Mukesh Ambani cocooned in his billions of dollars Antilia, to the hungry beggar on the street. I rule your life, your little everyday existences.

I keep everything from happening at once. You can’t even imagine what chaos that is. Measuring me through the clock or your wrist watch all day, do you now know who I am, can you at least guess. I think you’ve got it, so do you know me?

But of you, I know all, every little detail.

Your little human condition, your little miseries, your tiny triumphs, your pathetic tears, your belly rumbling laughter, does have a way of making the world go round the Mulberry bush, you get the drift?

Well I have all the time, so let’s begin.

Funny concept, can time have time? Can an infinity be greater than another infinity? You smirk, but trust me the world is far magical than you have been made to believe, haan ji haan, sure it’s about cheque books and Kaun Banega Crorepati, but it’s also about altered states of consciousness, states you cannot ever envisage. Life is not about black and white or green and red, it is shades of colour you cannot ever hope to see with your eyes, life has colours you can never hope to smell, taste or touch. Yes colours can be felt in those ways, just not in your world! And in some worlds I am not as relevant as yours, and in some I have no relevance! I do not exist!

Do not go all freaked out on me, can you not imagine TIMELESSNESS; but it exists, I warn you, especially those OCD freaks out there, desperate to control everything.

Enough of meandering….
So who am I? Let me formally introduce myself. I am TIME and as promised I do have a story, a juggernaut of a story, an unstoppable monster and you’ll be forced to submit like wide-eyed little chunnu-munnus listening to your nanis at bedtime.
 

Twins. Rape. Murder.

Bollywood, breast augmentation, brainfart.

Poetess, plastic surgeon and the Sleeping Beauty.
Titillated?

Come on now, I know I have you! A violence-loving society like the one you’ve built starts salivating at all these contextual concepts when thrown at you. Murder is sweet, but mutilation is sweeter.

Blood and gore thrills you, outrageous humiliation of the body sends tingles through your spine, so stop this bourgeoisie sensitivity where you appear dismayed by such plots, but deep inside you can’t wait to curl up with your Sidney Sheldon! or Shobha De!! or Chetan Bhagat!!! by your bed side, reading about sex, rape, murder, call centres where Arun is called Aaron leading to a suppressed pathological schizophrenia, cheating on your spouse, wife swapping with keys and other new born urban atrocities.
It’s not every day that TIME tells you a story, a story about infinite probabilities.

A bit about me, saale, haramzade, time waste mat kar! A note in the Book of Life and Death!
I have existed for eternity. To you the word eternity probably will have some signifier, what can a finite mind grasp of the infinite?? Still I ask you to think about it. Think of something that never ends. Is that even possible, you ask?? The cogitation must never cease.

You think, therefore you exist, right??? Or you eat and defecate, therefore you exist, or is it copulation which cements your existence?

But what is the point of a process if it never ends; you will think to eternity about one question or be involved in sexual intercourse for all times(it’s not even a possibility) or eat yourself to death.

Does that mean you exist or not? Is it just the process of cogitation or copulation that makes you “exist” or is it the cogitative/copulative subject that’s important?

The journey or the result? A particle or a wave? Or a bubble?

Haramkhor time, procrastinating must have been my invention.
Mankind has managed to fall from an incredible level of sophistication to a dark age of barbarianism, like the age you’re an inhabitant of. It is a cycle- civilization and destruction!
Anyway, even though you did not exist, TIME was always already there! There is no escaping that idea.
I was born too you know, not as a babe from a mother’s womb, but as a concept from your mind.

To let you into a secret, I did not always exist. All I know is that this visible world is finite and periodical and so am I. I exist because of you.

I am born and then just like you gone with the wind; believe it or not, you and I are same in this way- WE ARE MORTAL!

This cycle of birth and death of TIME is the alpha and omega of recreating worlds. So in truth, you and I are finite, but IT, infinite.
A linear sequence of events is how you’d describe Time, but what happened when you were not there to count, the Big Bang baba? How did I exist?? So in a way, my dear friend, I exist in your memory and expectations, so essentially I live with you and die with you. Do not think this idea to be so far-fetched, even I can be put to death in your mind! Baap re baap, yes sir! I am fearful of my obliteration, of my extinction. I am born from you and I die with you.

I am your slave!
Well now I have your undivided attention to be sure. You humans love to know you are important in the equation. Am I right? But then you are, right?? God’s greatest creation. Hah!!
A plastic surgeon. A Poigant poetess, Phd student. A wannabe Bollywood starlet. No it’s not one of those haikus she writes.

Cadence of morning breeze-

Lofty silences-

A cup of tea.

Haikus she writes…
Yes I know Bollywood, the Bacchans, the Khans, the Kapoors, I hear the little whispers here and there, I see the deals done under the table, I know of the clandestine fornications in the back seats of SUVS, I know of which homes were wrecked by whom, and all the jazz! That’s some serious junk info. I’m the official knowitall bhai, for now I’m Mumbhai.

The Book of Life and Death is not a conventional book as you understand the definition, it is ever changing, an entity in itself, capable of conscious thoughts and feelings.
This story has come to my interest inumerous other worlds I inhabit.

Yes, you are there too and if I look, I will find you. The difference between you and them is that they know about these worlds, their consciousness shifts from one to one and they have observed me observing! Maybe it’s my imagination. In the many-worlds that exist, all the possible outcomes of a quantum interaction are realized.

You know all that you see around you, the world, the stars, your family, your lover, the Universe, it’s actually not just a Universe, and it’s actually a multiverse. Imagine the hairs on your skin, your world is one such hair on the body of abstract space, the evolvement happens in a deterministic style, embedding all thinkable possibilities within it.

So these twins- NINA and ZEENIA are moving through the arrow of time. They are moving to a fixed point, in one reality and to another point in a different world. Momentum and position are never constant, they’re all probabilities. But you get an omelette from an egg, not the other way round, the same way radio waves disperse from the antenna, never converge into it.
So now finally let’s cut to the chase and begin at the beginning. Not the conventional beginning point, but the very beginning of our story.
to be continued….

Help me publish by donating to me!!!

http://www.tinaheals.com

tina@tinaheals.com

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This is not my cover image. Image is not my copyright.

The Wolf Goddess~~

What a sight you are!

A true Goddess of your own creation.

The holy red gushes down your legs.

You stand naked, bare breasted.

The defiance in your eyes.

The slight smile on your lips.

They magnetic sway of your hips.

They ridicule you and laugh at you.

Your raw power scares them.

You know how to CONNECT.

You know how to join together.

You are a natural leader.

And that scares them.

They call you a sinner.

Never will you be a saint.

Even if you have fed the last morsel to them.

They have burnt you over and over.

But from those ashes have you arisen…

Again and again.

With different names.

In different countries and cultures.

The guilt they have bred in us,

Is not to be found in you.

The palpable fear is also absent.

For you seek no validation from them.

You don’t care to play by their rules.

Holiness in every ounce of your blood.

Every Goddess of every culture,

They reside in your body.

You are holy, the Creatrix!

You are not afraid of pleasure.

You know what to do with pain.

You are here to liberate other sisters.

You are not looking for personal gain.

Never have you controlled the urges,

That women have been taught to do.

Instead you have transmuted them into alchemy.

You have transformed them into divine inspiration.

You have ignited the fires of passion.

And made magic with the man you held.

For a God he was when you made love to him.

You are his Goddess.

You are  our Goddess.

Your mission is to tell the others.

To activate the powers of the Womb.

This FEM-FORCE will steer us into a new awareness.

Let them worship the sacred blood of your menstruation.

For that is the only atonement from their end.

To have defiled and demonised the sacred life force of the menstrual blood.

They say you are a whore.

What does it matter if you are Madonna or a whore?

They have raped, pillaged and tortured,

The mother, maiden and the crone.

No one is safe.

They will find the Wild Ones.

Silenced they must be.

But how can they be shut for life?

In their voices is the fem-force of life and death.

We will be told we are evil.

We will be told our magick is for the devil.

The Devil is but Lucifer, the bringer of Truth.

The apple is the process of initiation.

It is you, yes you as Eve,

Who initiated Adam.

It is you Sita, who burned Rama’s sins,

In the fire of your sacrifice.

Wild Woman you will make us eat time and again,

From that sweet apple of knowledge and passion.

Run like a She-wolf and howl at the moon.

You are the Matriarch, the very crux of civilisation.

Tonight under the Full Moon, you will rub the damp earth on your body.

And make love to the Earth.

She is as wild as you are.

Soul lovers through infinities.

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Image by Alexandra Banti

 

Politics of Pleasure~

“So really it happens that the more sexual a person is, the more inventive he can be. The more sexual a person is, the more intelligent. With less sex energy, less intelligence exists; with more sexual energy, more intelligence, because sex is a deep search to uncover, not only bodies, not only the opposite sex body, but everything that is hidden.” ~~Osho, The Ultimate Alchemy, Vol. 2, Talk #2

You know the first time you meet someone and you have butterflies in your stomach. That feeling of pure adrenaline. Yes we love it. When we hook up with a stranger we are attracted to, we get a huge kick of adrenaline. It is tempestuous. It makes us go weak in the knees. But there is NO SUSTAINABILITY and interest wears off as soon as the thrill is dead. Why does the thrill die? FAMILIARITY!!!

This type of sex is dependent on the release of the hormone adrenaline which makes us thrill seekers can be quite challenging. It was for me at least. Haha. This type of sex can often result in humiliation, disgrace, feeling cheap and used. There is no internal bonding. There is no spiritual connectivity.

The very antithesis of this is the type of sex that we need to bring into our lives. This type of sex involves love, care, trust, respect and FAMILIARITY. The main ingredient of this type of copulation is harmony and synchronicity between couples. This type of sex is about GIVING not so much about RECEIVING. That does not mean that you do not receive. For  you receive way more. You receive surrender.

When you pleasure your partner without thinking of you own wants and desires, then you show them their importance and that in turn makes them open up in ways you can never anticipate. They will surrender not just their bodies, but their minds and souls to you.

When you truly connect with another human being and create sexual energy which can heal and transform you completely, then you release the chemical OXYTOCIN. What is that? Well that is the BONDING HORMONE. When a mother gives birth, she releases the most amount of oxytocin ever released by a human so she can lactate and breastfeed.

In fact this is the reason why men are so interested in the breasts and of course the breast is a pleasure trove for the woman as the nerve endings are connected to her clitoris. Therefore men have been stimulating the breasts since time immemorial. No couple abstains from breast play in some form or the other.

The sex that releases oxytocin in the brain is what exists between husband and wife and between long-term partners. But as we are flooded with pornography and ready to consume internet sexual content, we are detaching more and more from our natural partners.

Too many families are breaking apart because the couple is so busy bringing up the children or making a career that they have ignored to cultivate SACRED sexual chemistry. The result is infidelity. The main reason for this is that they do not enjoy each other any more. Because they have not taken the time and the effort required to make sex excitable and enjoyable with a long term partner. It is not easy. It required loads of work and a steadfast commitment. But wait it is not just boring. It can be so rewarding! Trust me! I know.

Men are rampantly cheating on women. Of course women are too. But we see this play out more in the masculine archetypes. This is such a sorry state of affairs for too many women are conditioned to not take sex seriously. They are taught that it is something they have to “give” their husbands. Why? Because he needs it. Yes that is what I have heard from so many women. Most of them consider sex a part of marital duties and derive little pleasure from it. Fuckity fuck!

Women have been so badly slut shamed and called names that they have repressed their sexual desires. When in reality, women are extremely sexual creatures. Look at their anatomy. Women have been designed to enjoy sex and let no one tell you otherwise.

A woman is not a slut or a whore if she is sexually empowered. A woman who is in touch with her sexual energy and knows how to work it is truly a wondrous individual. For she is the true epitome of the GODDESS energy. She knows what pleasures her and she knows how to get it. She craves for no man, because she is self sufficient in every way.

Yes she does seek her MASCULINE, her YANG, her partner, her polarity. But she is no damsel in distress waiting for him. She is a Goddess. She is not afraid to speak her mind. She is not afraid to explore her psyche. She is not afraid to say openly that it is normal for women to want sex.

Yet, while gathering data for my book, I discovered so many couples barely have sex twice a month. I’m talking about 30 somethings. Both husband and wife are so busy with work that they barely manage to get a quickie in once in two weeks. There is hardly much foreplay involved and most of the time, she does not orgasm.

She does not care. Why bother about orgasm? He is happy right. Grunting and moaning while he climaxes. The pleasure she has given him is enough. Right? Why does she need to orgasm?

Well, well, well ladies. If you are caught in this BS, then take it from a woman who takes her orgasms very seriously. You do not know what you are missing. For both men and women are capable of full bodied orgasms which can make them transcend space and time.

There is such a sense of UNITY. There is such a sense of bliss and the act in itself has now become sacred. This is the Goddess energy all women need to channel. They need to become the GODDESS who must have her pleasure taken care of. And that includes your man knowing how to get you to orgasm….yummy full bodied orgasms. Oh, oh, oh…did you know that orgasms activate the VAGUS NERVE. Google it if you don’t know that the fuck that is.

You can bring back the magic in your love life with your partner even after decades of marriage. In fact when you start to practice oxytocin based sex, then you will see how strong your bond will become.

You must be ready to forget all about your own pleasure guys if you want to worship the Goddess. She is the symbol of the GREAT COSMIC YONI/VAGINA. She is the MOTHER MATRIX. So worship her with all your devotion and think only of pleasuring her. Get creative.

Remember the orgasm part itself is only a tiny part of the show. In many cases it is not even the finale. Instead the sexual union should make your consciousness merge with that of your partner. In totality. Like nothing exists outside of you. Like nothing ever did and nothing ever will. Can you imagine that? TIMELESSNESS! Yes transcendental sex magic can make you transcend your EGO-SELF or the conscious mind.

For hidden in the deep recesses of the UNCONSCIOUS lie all the archetypes. And we get a chance to break away from our standard archetype for that moment when we are in union. You know why magick works? It is because in the netherworld of our psyche there exists all the information. From all our previous experiences and I mean collectively. Jung called it the COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS. From this we channel all the wisdom and guidance.

Once we have understood the archetypes we can break away from them and step into new exploring new archetypes. We can change the role we play for who else ifs the DIRECTOR of this film called life but us?

Couples who seek to explore sex magic or tantric sex, there are some tips for you from my end. Firstly find TIME. The most important ingredient that society lacks. TIME. We are slaves to it. Sex magic can never be done without time. At least three hours. Don’t fall off that chair. Hold on.

Create a sacred space. Full body massages for both from both. Oh yeah! Bring on the oils baby. Burn that intense and light those candles. Put on that music. Guys you can do an adaptation of the Yoni Puja. I wrote about it briefly in this article. Check it out. Just do what works for you. What speaks to you.

https://mywritestuffblog.wordpress.com/2017/04/03/libra-full-moon10th-april-2017-love-takes-time/

If you are interested to know more about sexual alchemy and greater harmony with your partner, then email me- tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

A SEXUALLY EMPOWERED PERSON IS SUPER CONFIDENT, BUT NOT COCKY. She or he owns the stage and does it effortlessly.

I am offering special workshops for women called GODDESS AWAKENING where I will be discussing vital components of pleasuring your partner and also self pleasure. So please ping me. These are available in groups and individually too. LET US END THE WAR ON NATURE AND ON OUR OWN BODIES.

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Libra Full Moon~10th April 2017: Love takes Time!

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness…Friedrich Nietzsche

Who can refute the fact that there is both madness and reason in love? And no one echoes this sentiment that a Libra Full Moon which is all about BALANCE! Welcome to the party lovely people, things just got slightly easier with Libra, the crowd pleaser and the emphasis is on RELATIONSHIPS!

This is a super social Full Moon, so expect to hang out with friends and random people. Yes the whole Jupiter RX in Libra has a lot to do with finding foreign people and things interesting.

April’s Full Moon, the Full Pink April’s Full Moon, the Full Pink Moon, heralds the appearance of the moss pink, or wild ground phlox—one of the first spring flowers. It is also known as the Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon, and the Fish Moon…THE FARMER’S ALMANAC

So what are you ready to experience under this Pink Moon. I can tell you, it will be intense, in a sort of balanced way. Yes there will be an urgency, yes there will be an inner hunger to connect and make love, but this energy is Libran, therefore pretty balanced. An interesting observation I made. Every time I see a pink aura on someone, that person is usually hankering for a love interest. It may even mean that relationships are central to her world, romantic ones and pink aura is quite common.

During this spectacular Pink Moon, two planets will be going retrograde. Venus RX in Pisces and Mercury RX in Taurus. See how Venusian the whole experience will be! Both Libra and Taurus are ruled by Venus. And she is raising emotional Tsunamis in Pisces.

How can you deal with turbulent emotions? I would suggest- do something for the planet…do something for Earth. You ask, how can I do that? Well, go Vegan for starters. You would have done a lot. Feed people. Feed children. Help refugees. Help the differently abled. Volunteer to teach. Trust me, once you have initiated this action, you will feel much better. No matter what tragedy has befallen you.

You are not your tragedy. You are sentient life, entangled with all of creation. Breathing, pulsating, throbbing, vibrating like one gigantic organism. This Full Moon energy can make you feel like you are in a RELATIONSHIP with the Earth. In fact, make it a relationship with reality. Everything in it. Can you imagine that? Huns that is the truth. We are all interconnected, we are all part of the WHOLE.

We are dealing with Venusian energy on steroids. So love and finances are the main components, but think of the wide array of shit that falls in these brackets. Love and Money! Sex is intertwined with both these and so are all aspects sensual. Even Art is all about love and passion, developing an idea, getting funds to execute it and then making money. Tada. It is like the snake eating its own tail. Money and love- the most volatile combination!

Venus to me is how we process and experience pleasure and leisure- two vital aspects of human evolution. Without these we would not have gotten  very far. Sentiments, values and things we hold dear are all Venus’ influence. Also we realise greater truths through art and culture.

Just be mindful that COMMUNICATION can be very challenging during this Merc retro. I have already begun to feel it. I had this great talk over the phone with a potential funder and then when I met him face to face, it fell flat. The whole scenery felt so plastic. As if all things Venusian have been drained from it.

Venus rules attraction. How sexy you appear and how you get attracted. With a favourable Venus placement in your natal chart, you may be very desirable to the opposite sex and you will also be attracted to people and things. A magnetic pull will be felt with beauty.

She is RX in Pisces. Please read my two articles detailing this transit.

https://mywritestuffblog.wordpress.com/2017/01/23/venus-retrograde-2017/

https://mywritestuffblog.wordpress.com/2017/04/02/venus-rx-into-pisces-finding-meaning-or-philosophical-suicide/

With this retrograde and where it is places in our charts we will have to deal with financial obligations and relationships. With Saturn going retrograde on the 6th of April, this could point to legal cases that might drain your finances. Just be aware of this.

The Moon and Jupiter will be conjunct during this Full Moon. This could signify emotional outbursts, tantrums, drama and other public displays of emotions. Tap into higher thought frequency this day as remember that when Jupiter touches those thoughts they WILL BE EXPANDED. Just make a conscious effort to think of things with self love.

I will not say- BE POSITIVE. Because being fake positive takes away from living. Really living means we should embrace dualistic feelings and that leads to a healthy, well balanced psyche. Just like a developed Libra has. So get that sage, get that gratitude journal and begin the seemingly insurmountable task of cleansing all those troubled emotions.

Think of the film- The Vow. An accident, during their honeymoon. Paige has a serious head injury and is in a coma. She wakes up but does not recognise him and now begins his journey of reconnecting and he wins her back in the end. Very inspiring. Very Libran, putting her before him…all her needs, because he felt he had let her down. He did more than enough to make it up.

I wish we all could do that…put somebody else’s needs before our own. But we can’t. We’re too selfish, caught in our own mundane realities. It is just us, us, us. These energies coming from from the cosmos is asking us otherwise. Imploring us to consider that there are other sides to the story.

Look I began April in a rather chaotic manner. I had so much hope and then I faced some disappointments. I had to restructure my work ideas and improvise constantly, so I’m guessing it might have been complicated for you as well. Do you feel like you’re being pulled in multiple directions? I felt so, till I reminded myself that April will be a month of constant flux. Four planets are changing signs! Saturn, Mercury, Venus, Pluto and they are in shadow periods, about to go retro or coming out of shadow zones.

Therefore nothing will feel solid. Again the ground has been pulled from under our feet and it might feel like drowning. I suggest stop struggling. Firstly calm your breath and still your mind. Then learn to flow. Flow with the momentum of the Universe. It is guiding you. Don’t be afraid to rework that proposal as many times as is needed. Hard work and determination will be rewarded. But keep that burning desire in check. Remember Buddha’s wise words- Desire is the root of all evil. Your rewards may take time…in matters of love and money.

The Mars/Pluto trine will give you focus to continue on your path even though the retro energy may make you feel like giving up. Please ask for help if you want to abandon someone or some project. You might regret it. Use SWITCHWORDS~~REACH-GUIDE-POINT if you are caught making a difficult decision. It will guide you. If you have trouble sleeping write 94 on your left wrist.

There is also a square in play- Saturn in Sag squares Venus conjunct Chiron in Pisces. Healing energies are available to do inner work. No matter how raw your bleeding heart feels, let the blue healing light numb the pain. Let the blue light from Sangye Menla’s(Medicine Buddha’s) heart cool that suffering. Let it all go. Saturn, Venus and Chiron are asking us to look for deeper meaning.

What is meaning you ask? Without going into the Semantics and Foundational theory of meaning, I will tell you one thing simply. Nothing has any meaning, you give it meaning. Like the Observer’s paradox. The wave becomes a particle, a fixed point in space and time because you observe it.

I recently read about this study that curiosity actually leads us to have more meaning in life. So does compassion, empathy. The possibilities are endless. We can do anything with this. It is up to us to find meaning. We need to dive into the seas of samsara and bring out our very own pearl.

This Pink Moon as the Iroquois people named it is about tenderness, birth and new beginnings. When my baby was born, she was pale pink and each time I have assisted in animal birth, I have seen that irrespective of species all babies are born pink! Incredible! But so are the baby buds on trees- they are pink and then with photosynthesis and the release of chlorophyll they turn green.

I am going to give you a very special meditation module- called the Pink Meditation or the Yoni Meditation. The vagina is pink and the tongue that pleasures it is also pink. The Japanese associate the pink Cherry Blossom with a vagina.

Create your scared space. Visualise a pink vagina. You might be closed eyed or you could use a rose quartz crystal to symbolise it. If you can worship the real thing, then nothing like it, but, but, but…the essential prerequisite will be to DELETE all preconceived concepts like shame, guilt from your mind. There is nothing shameful about the Yoni. She is sacred. You are worshipping SHAKTI in her rawest form.

Sage the image or the crystal. You can even mentally “sage”. The intention is to purify the energy and to bring forth positive vibrations. You can use touch or mental touch to connect with the vagina. If you are going to touch it, then make sure you have spend a good amount of time just GAZING at it and admiring it. Offer the Yoni pink items this Pink Full Moon. You can offer pink Champagne, candy, sweets, incense, flowers and other items to her…the Vagina!

Then visit different parts of it, loving it, worshipping it. All the while sending love to the cosmic yoni or mother-matrix, the portal to life. The Sacred Tao gives the Vagina many monikers- “the golden lotus”, “the gates of paradise” and “precious pearl” and “sacred treasure”. You can think of special names too.

Feel no lust. Remember that lust is negative vibration. You will feel attraction but bring that sentiment to adoration. Like you are worshipping the vagina of a Goddess. Then pay homage to each part of the vagina, the clitoris, the vulva, etc. Just surrender to the Cosmic Vagina through a symbol or a human form or a mental form. Don’t forget to contemplate SHAKTI or the SACRED FEMININE.  Thought forms are just as powerful and conclude by breathing deeply and chanting AUM. The Yoni Puja as described in Tantric texts is highly intricate and esoteric. But adapt this ancient act and breathe modernity into it. Adapt it and benefit from this wisdom.

Love has the same relationship to the soul as breathing has to the body – Osho

You can email me for more info on this…

tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

Artwork by Mira Nedyalkova

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