Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity. ~~ W. B. YEATS
Fragmented pieces swim in the seas of my consciousness. A cacophony of sounds. A kaleidoscope of lights. The moment is crackling with suspense as I know I am about to enter into one of the most prophetic visions I have ever had.
Chiron is retrograde in 29 degrees of Pisces which is my SEVENTH HOUSE. My Moon is here too and “Chiron can be thought of as a boat allowing us to cross the deep ocean providing navigation, direction and a safe passage to being who we are meant to be.” says Erin Frances, an eminent astrologer. Chiron is taking me for these astral journeys. Chiron is making me the wounded healer I am meant to be. Welcome to my LUCID ASTRAL VISION.
A tangled tapestry of sights and sounds.
EXT. WIDE MEADOW. TWILIGHT
A dripping sound, like a leaking tap. A female voice hums a lullaby. The sound of flapping wings is heard.
Then: A raw and primal, jagged and out of breath panting is heard.
Tina, a girl of around nine years old is sprawled in the ground.
A HUMMINGBIRD flutters right in front of her.
She stares at it, steadies her breath and then reaches out to touch it.
The HUMMINGBIRD floats close. It approaches the girl and positions itself right in front of her eyes.
She stares at the bird’s pupils.
C.U of her pupils. They dilate.
She lets out a primal scram and touches her nose. A red line of blood runs down.
Slow Motion: The blood trickles to her knees and she looks down.
The HUMMINGBIRD flutters its wings and takes off.
Tina stares at it. Something coils in her stomach.
She begins to run towards the HUMMINGBIRD that is now seen as a dot in the distance.
THUD. Tina falls through the proverbial rabbit hole.
Silhouettes of humans, beasts and hybrids dance in the shadows. Fear gripping her insides, she tries to look down.
She feels sick. The blood has now dried up.
The cacophony of voices swim into her consciousness from time to time.
VOICE 1: There she goes. Look there. Look at her.
VOICE 2: It’s all over. What now? Kaput!
Horrid laughter fills her ears, she falls to the floor, dishevelled and enervated.
Suddenly she can hear it. The flapping of the hummingbird. CLOSE ON HER EYES- she looks up with hope.
FADE TO BLACK:
That is how the vision began. I wrote it as a screenplay to give it that visual feel. To start you off with pictures. Can you visualise the little girl Tina around 9?
Let’s move on with the vision. This happened to me in broad daylight. Not while I was meditating. Not while I was dreaming, but while I was writing in front of my computer. The screen just began to fade to black and I could hear static noise. My psychic energy must have been at an all time high, because I had just started bleeding and it was the Capricorn FM next to dear Pluto. And of course I am going through some interesting alignments and aspects in my own life, astrologically speaking.
This has happened to me before. My visions come to me in wave patterns, totally non linear. I blank out and then return. I write about many such visions in my novel, THE PLAN which should be published soon. I have given them the garb of fiction, but they are in fact reality. Sometimes I can hear a piercing sound after these visions. I used to get headaches before, but now with my spiritual practices, I have managed to heal myself from all that left over psychic debris.
The Hummingbird has been visiting me since very long. In my dreams and in my visions. I never realised their connection to Mezoamerican civilisation when I was about twelve.
Now as you can see at the beginning of the lucid astral experience, I felt absolutely paranoid. I felt scared, fearful and abandoned. I felt like a helpless child of nine. But somewhere deep down that hummingbird gave me hope.
It was like a flicker of abject inspiration. My muse of last hours. It’s complicated to describe the way I felt. The Hummingbird flies off into the distance.
My phone rings. I go to answer it, but suddenly a video call comes through. Only this is no ordinary video call. It’s like a hologram popping out from my phone and standing right in front of me. This figure is straight from some computer game and she has a lower body, but three faces. Three distinct faces. They someone reminded me of the Morrigan, the triple Celtic Goddess. Though at that time I thought they were the three hags from Macbeth. I was frantic and out of breath.
There was a track playing in the background. I did not know for the life of me what language it was in. It sounded like it was played through a gramophone. My grandfather had one of those things and I was obsessed with it during my childhood.
The hologram of the Morrigan began to disintegrate. Like fragmented digital bits of information. Do you know I have seen the fragmentation of reality, MATRIX style, even before the film was made. I was very young when I first started to see reality breaking away into digital bits. Made sense to me with the computer revolution. My vision made sense. I had glimpsed into the matrix.
After this the SCREEN goes DARK. FADE TO BLACK:
Suddenly I am in Goa, by the beach, in a place called Small Vagator. I sit on the sands drawing a MANDALA in the sand awkwardly. The wind keeps slapping away my design, but I persist. No matter how hard I try, I am not being able to even draw a circle that will stay in the wind. Nothing stays. IMPERMANENCE. What a way to learn it?
The Monks actually do draw the MANDALAS with sand and then they destroy them after the ritual and meditation. Yes, even in complex initiation ceremonies like the KALACHAKRA TANTRA.
My conscious mind may be learning patience and perseverance by this apparently futile task of painting a mandala in the sand. If the wind doesn’t blow it away, the water will wash it off. Kind of like our lives. No matter how hard we try to hold onto things, they just slip away. The harder we try, the more frustrated we get. NOTHING REMAINS!
Reminds me of this poem of Tagore~~ Nothing lasts forever. Click the link to enjoy~
I look at the Goa seas. They look sunny and happy. But deep down I know there is a dark undertone there. In a second, the skies change. The sea roars and the waves dance ominously. But I sit there. I don’t know why? There is a sense of surrender with this task. Surrender to the force of the Earth who is my mother, my mentor and my guide.
Take me, I whisper. Take me. But no. It is not my time. The Hummingbird is back. Flapping its wings. A rebirth?
Looking up the hummingbird and Mayan connection I found Huitzilopochtli, the deity of war, sun, human sacrifice and the patron of the city of Tenochtitlan!
According to this legend, he was the smallest son of four—his parents being the creator couple Tonacatecutli and Tonacacihuatl while his brothers were Quetzalcoatl and the 2 Tezcatlipocas. His mother and father instructed both him and Quetzalcoatl to bring order to the world. And so, together they made fire, the first male and female humans, created the Earth, and made a sun. ~~WIKI
This archetypal myth resonates with me on such a deep level. It is the story of DOUBLE TWINFLAMES. Do you see it? The first pair of male, female. The creation myth!
He is a fire God, associated with the Sun(SOLAR DEITY) and I am also burning with this fire energy, so it made sense. My ruler is also the Sun! War? I am still exploring my connection to Mesoamerica by using a method called EVOLUTIONARY ASTROLOGY where you study the NODES OF THE MOON, the 12TH HOUSE, the 8TH HOUSE, SATURN, RETROGRADE PLANETS and INTERCEPTED PLANETS, SIGNS and HOUSES.
My NN is in Virgo and SN in Pisces. My 12th house is jampacked- Mercury, the Sun at 0 degrees, Saturn at 26 degrees in Leo! And I have a bunch of retrograde planets in my natal chart. Our bodies hold much of the old programming and it is the job of this 12th house to DESTROY those patterns once and for all. Losses and deaths! 12th house, the house which makes one a philosopher!
Another origin story tells of a fierce goddess, Coatlicue, being impregnated as she was sweeping by a ball of feathers on Mount Coatepec. Her other children, who were already fully grown, were the four hundred male Centzonuitznaua and the female deity Coyolxauhqui. These children, angered by the manner by which their mother became impregnated, conspired to kill her. Huitzilopochtli burst forth from his mother’s womb in full armor and fully grown. He attacked his older brothers and sister, defending his mother by beheading his sister and casting her body from the mountain top. He also chased after his brothers, who fled from him and became scattered all over the sky. ~~WIKI
The above story is so rich with symbolism and so pertinent to our times. Why can’t we all be like Huitzilopochtli? Why can’t we all protect the Earth? Isn’t she all our mother? Is that what the Hummingbird was telling me? To join in with my Twinflame and help the ascension process of our beloved Gaia.
The vision gets really complex now as I stand up to receive the HUMMINGBIRD in my hand. She lands perfectly and stares right at me. This time my heart fills with love and there is no fear. Yes the storm looms large. I am scared, but nope, I am not giving into fear or panic. nu-uh!
The Hummingbird kisses my fingers and takes off. The feeling is ethereal! The rain comes crashing down in a silvery sheet. The sound is deafening. I am soaking wet as I run to take shelter in the shack, but there is no one there. It is dark and nothing can be seen. There was a voice telling me, “You weren’t you, you were Tina…”
WTF? I am that person. I am Tina. Or am I? Who am I? Confusion was building inside.
The voice kept asking me, “So you believe? You believe?”
I wanted to scream. YES I BELIEVE. But believe what? I wanted to believe every single thing- life, death, sorrow, pleasure and pain. There is only believe in every fibre of my being!
Suddenly the rain quietened. I walk out to the beach, a wet mess. Not a person in sight. I have never seen that particular beach to look that empty. Not a soul in sight. I sat down as the Sun began to set.
Far away in the distance, I see this cloaked figure. Who is that out in the sea?
For a moment, I felt fear as the candle I light is blown away by the wind, and then a sudden warmth envelops me. The figure floats towards me. It is Mary Magdalene herself. She is the very feminine energy I dote on, my Beloved, my SPIRIT GUIDE. Today I sensed she wanted to be called Magdalene. Not anything else.
I must mention here that patriarchy has labelled Magdalene as a WHORE, because she was not like your common woman who wanted to just be a wife, mother and homemaker. Not that there is anything wrong with wanting any of that. It’s just that some women do not necessarily seek out that role. Like me. I never thought I would be someone’s wife, because marriage is a failed institution to me and the role of a stay at home wife never appealed to me. Motherhood is fantastic, but domesticity is not he be all and end all of my existence. And it never will be. I am forever a WANDERER, an Artist, a dreamer. Some women need to run wild and free. They cannot be chained and society should not try to.
Mary Magdalene is the WILD FEMININE ENERGY that is not meant to be a normal woman. Although she was a TANTRIC HIGH PRIESTESS they called her a prostitute. She was the wealth of the world, but they vilified her and degraded her sacredness to the point where she is forgotten in the world today. She is not one of the original disciples. No. She is a MASTER in her own right and taught Yeshua tantra. She is his yin, his balance. The mystic they called Jesus is her twinflame. On his name they started one of the most bloodiest religions in the world. That is what patriarchy has done for us. Taken sacred teachings from the feminine womb of wisdom and have corrupted and bastardised it to suit their own needs and agendas.
It was Mary Magdalene who initiated me in accepting myself as a sexual being. I fought long and hard against it. At a point I was having sex just to feel nothing. The act of being with someone became an addiction. A reason to stay away from feeling too deeply. Sex was never this magical and open, like so many women out there who hide their sexual feelings. 30% women regularly orgasm and an appalling number fake it. What else can they do? Expressing ourselves sexually would mean that we would be labelled and judged. Slut, bitch, whore etc. I do not care, but most women do, as they continue faking orgasms thinking sex is just a chore. Most women have sex to please their guys, without realising how much good sex would please them. The woman’s body is a pleasure trove. She has endless desires and a much stronger libido than men. Although she has been made to forget it. NEWSFLASH~~ LADIES, PLEASE STOP FAKING ORGASMS. You are spoiling the men. Show then what you like and how its done. Guide them.
Mary Magdalene showed me that not only is it okay to accept my sexual feelings, but to celebrate them, explore them. In fact, opening up to the sexual alchemy without guilt or shame has brought me closer to spirituality. I feel awakened in all ways, more than I have ever been. I feel creatively charged and connected to my twinflame. Ready to accept him inside of me. Makes me hot! I am in the process of making many life changing shifts and hopefully soon I will be in Goa able to connect to his energy. I know that is where I will meet him.
Doing away with old values, patterns can be hard, but it is worth the try. To live more authentically. When we face our inner demons, although sexuality is not a demon, but has been made into one by the fucking bourgeoisie. Societal hypocrisy is what gets me.
Mary Magdalene gave me a few messages for you and she has promised to help all of you heal your sexual wounds. She will also help you come to terms with your sexual desires.
CHANNELLED MESSAGES~~ Jotting them down randomly.
- You can never experience twinflame love unless you love yourself.
- Twinflame love is NOT ABOUT ROMANCE.
- There is a strong sense of purpose.
- There is a desire to heal people and the Earth and support the 5D ASCENSION PROCESS taking place.
- Strengthen this new LIGHTWORKER ENERGY GRID.
- Healing ancestral and familial wounds. Twinflames often incarnate with an imbalance in their early childhood so they can work through these issues and solve the. Although I come from a stable home, my life has been rocked by some hardcore events in my early childhood. I am working everyday to heal these scars. They are deep, but they will heal.
- Twinflames, when they are done, will teach all of HUMANITY new things, ideas and concepts about RELATIONSHIPS. They are not jealous in the conventional sense.
- Usually a twinflame relationship is female led. Like Shakti is on Shiva’s chest because she is the PRINCIPLE CREATIVE FORCE, similarly the partner with developed yin energy must lead the relationship with compassion and intuition.
- All twinflames must go through a stage of SEPARATION. Yes as hard as that sounds, it happens a lot.
- Let your INNER CHILD out to play. Heal yourself.
- Express all your emotions. Never keep them bottled up. Cry, laugh, chuckle, sing, dance…
- Most importantly Mary Magdalene tells me that even if we have not found our TWINFLAME, we must embark on the journey ourselves. In due course he will join.
- Although you may be super attracted to your twinflame, this attraction is unlike the usual CONSUME and devour types. Your sexual desires come from a sacred space of love and not of fear and possession.
- Twinflames are independent and in their power when they finally join in union.
- Lastly, meeting your twinflame will be like the SECOND COMING OF CHRIST. Through sexual energy fusion, you can experience the COMING OF CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS. The most beautiful sexual alchemy.
I am waiting to hear your twinflame story~~
Image copyright Gianluca