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“You can only meet someone as deeply as you have met yourself”
This is the very truth. No matter how much you crave your twinflame/soulmate you will meet them(if you do in 3d) with the same depth that you have met your very own soul. The twinflame journey starts with touching base with your soul.
I told you a strange story of a twinflame experience in my viral article(click link above) and now I want to give you an update…below you can read parts of the letter the woman experiencing this twinflame connection writes…
It has been almost a year since I deleted and blocked him on social media. And till date, not a word from him…I had decided that he is a coward and will never speak up, so I did my best to immerse myself in life and continue to exist without thinking of him. Which was inevitably impossible. His face and name kept swimming up in my consciousness. Why? Why the fuck am I so into this one person? Someone I have never met? Someone’s voice I have not heard? And I mean, he is not like some Adonis. But then why? Why him? Why can I not forget his existence? It irked me endlessly, until I had the PLR and hypnosis session with you.
That session took me back to timelines…places and situations I cannot even imagine. Through the great wars of antiquity, through the fertile plains of Sumeria/Mesopotamia and Egypt. I saw us together through numerous timelines. It was not easy to express. You know exactly how long I wept after I came back…
But then lucid dreams started to come rapidly. They arrived randomly and I woke up with him in bed. Our children were playing outside. I even know their names. I spend time with him in our home and all we did was make love and I heard him tell me that I was everything for him. He said he missed me, tremendously when I was out, travelling for work.
I couldn’t stop wondering if I had arrived here, then who was at home with my husband and child? What happened to my body staring at the computer, in lucid dreams?
I dared not reveal anything to spoil that day and what can I say, he took me all over his city and we had the best day ever. I went to sleep with him and I was worried that I might never see him again. But I did not wake up back in my reality, I still remained in his world. In some alternate universe.
There he was making breakfast and my kids walked in. I cannot forget their faces. They looked so familiar. But I knew I had never seen them before. Then as left to take them to playschool, I passed out watching a program on TV in his language. And strangely, I knew the language. Then I blacked out and I found myself in front of my computer. My body soaked in sweat, my computer had crashed. Someone was ringing my doorbell frantically. I ran to open the door, my legs could barely carry me and saw my husband had come home. He just returned from tennis practice with my baby. I was so shocked and it probably showed on my face. My husband stared at me, long and hard, while I could not find a single word to say. It’s like I had forgotten English. His language and his voice kept intruding my thoughts and I was sure as hell that I was going crazy. He came towards me and checked my temperature which was soaring. He took me straight to bed and forbade any movement while he called the doctor.
The next seven days were a haze. I know I had high temperature and my body was not keeping food down. I was sick, I felt sick. Like I was dying. But then suddenly, I woke up in the alternate Universe. And this time, I was in front of him and he was sick. I sat by his bedside, weeping gently. That night I met his mother. His father was dead. I knew all this information about him and I did not know why and how. His mother was such a wonderful woman and we really bonded. Surprisingly, she noticed a difference and she told me that her son was really lucky to have me. Because no one can love him like me. I think I started howling. We spend sometime cradled in each other’s arms.
He was ill, high temperature and the doctors thought it was some kind of infection. But they did not know for sure. He lay in bed, in front of me. Murmuring in his sleep and I remembered my own sick body back home, in my own universe. Suddenly he opens his eyes and looks at me and tells me that no matter what, I must find him. I was shocked, he’d say that. I asked him what he meant and he said that if he dies, I have to find him. He did not mention other timelines or alternate universes.
It was time to tell him…Listen _, I am not from your Universe. I have no clue how I turned up here. He didn’t look as surprised as I thought he would. He coughed and motioned for me to continue. I told him that in my universe, we have never met. I mean we did, only once or twice. Very briefly and we never spoke. But I could not forget his energy. His soul energy, all these years. I told him how I found him on socialmedia and how I added him and then deleted him. I told him that I’m not even sure, he knows me in this reality. But then maybe he was not sensitive.
But this man in front of me, he was so very sensitive. He was exactly the man I thought he would be. He looked disturbed at the idea of us never knowing each other in my universe and he said he must have been a real idiot to let me go. In my reality that is. In his reality, he met me in the exact same place. The situation was pretty much identical. Except one detail. We had bumped into each other at the bar and in his reality, he started a conversation with me and within the next six months we were together. In his country. And then we were married soon after. In fact, in his world, it had been over twenty years we were together.
Listening to him talk, it was clear why I could not forget his face. Why I kept remembering him in my reality, although I did not know him. But obviously, this him, in his reality is indeed my soulmate or maybe my twinflame. And we have made a life together. But he did say, that from a few years, he was having marital problems with his version of me. It looks like they are drifting apart. This surprised me as that is exactly when I had found him on social media in my universe.
Spending time with him that night, watching him sick and feeling his sickness, like an empath, I shifted between hope and despair. This emotional chaos is raising only more questions and there are never any answers…I am glad I told him about my confusion, about how I coped all those years without him and how I felt lost and helpless every time I saw him on social media. There is so much to tell him, but no words…
When I held him and kissed him, I understood what you told me. That the twinflame experience is not always about being together and creating a life. It is about so much more. It is a subtle connection, like quantum entanglement that cannot be explained by punitive human language. This is true psychic connection and it saddens me that only I feel it. Not him.
Watching us both together, as the observer this time, I felt the most indescribable and amazing feeling. A feeling of unconditional love and deep fulfillment. And we did not even have any sexual experience. We just slept together, in each other’s arms. He knew it could be the last night we have together and it was painfully making itself aware in my psyche. This is it, this is why I crave to be with him in my reality, without even knowing him. It is because of this life we have and have had through time. But, but….that life is falling apart in his universe and in mine, we have never met. I spend time going through the pictures of our life together and they remain embedded in my mind forever.
Returning back to my universe was ugly. My body felt like I was about to die. I could not take the fever burning my soul…and there was emptiness and pain, physical, mental and spiritual. It felt like my heart has been ripped off. Death is better than this pain. I felt so ashamed at the love my husband had for me. I was his great love story and here I am, chasing after a ghost. Guilt, shame and hopelessness were my companions till I gradually got my health back. And my sanity or so I think.
I made a conscious effort to erase him from my soul. It was difficult, but not really because I never had any connection with him. In 3d. We never touched or kissed or anything. Forget about his universe. I still remember the names of our children and hope that he made peace with his wife. Me, in his reality. But sometimes, his words ring out…So what if I have forgotten…you find me…drop me a message.
I scoffed at him then…like are you serious? You are fucking married and you don’t even know me. He scoffed back and told me that its not possible, he does not know me. After I added him and then deleted him. He said that he knew himself and he surely would be excited to see my posts. I told him that I knew nothing about anything about him and he held my hand, touched it to his heart and told me…everything is here, all my love for you…right here. This heart beats for you…
I remember laughing at him. But I made it clear that I am not ever getting in touch. Like never. But my friend, the one who was there with me when I met him in Goa, suddenly added him. Yes she knows about these PLR sessions and she is convinced that he was interested in me back then. In that bar and in the party afterwards, he was looking at me. I was initially mad at her for adding him. Like wtf. Why? But she wouldn’t listen. And she says she will talk to him one day about me. I told her if that happens, I am blocking her. But her wicked smile tells me she might tell him. She also says that from the time I deleted him, he’s hardly posted. Like nothing about anything. Like he has gone silent. I told her to stay away from his profile. And she told, try to stop me bitch…
I have no intention of telling him…I know this can only be felt and if he felt anything, he would get in touch. The other day, randomly, a facebook friend of mine tells me that she saw me marrying a white guy. And she has no idea about this man or anything. So that shocks me. These twinflame energies are being picked up by so many close to me.
Well, in his universe, he is definitely not a coward, so his silence in this one can only mean one thing…he is not sensitive to the energy flow. I do hope to share this post Tina after you publish it, maybe he is secretly following me through a different account. Maybe reading this will jog his memory. That is all I can expect.
That is all Tina…thank you studying my case…
Your story excites me like none other, because here we have a story of twinflames who have never met. One looks to be awakened and the other asleep. Or maybe not. During my meditations, I have felt that man’s feelings for you and even the tarot told you what you needed to know. This is a connection of numerous past lives. One you cannot ignore.
My work with twinflames is so important…why?
It’s because the earth needs these powerful bursts of twinflame love at this time. As more twinflames awaken and recognize their work in 3d, the better they will be able to contribute to the coming of the next race. Race is not about color or anything. This is the next level of humanity. Humanity 6.0. Yes you heard that right.
_ I believe every single word you say, you know why? Because twinflame energies are not to be understood logically. You cannot look at it with the analytical thought processes. It goes beyond…one needs to experience this kind of pull. This magnetic pull towards one person that defies logic and practical wisdom. This energy is tthat of Shiva/Shakti, it is of Padma Sambhava and Yeshe Tsogyal, it is of Yesua and Mary Magdalene. It is eternal. It is the interplay between the divine feminine and masculine polarities. It is all a play. It is all a simulation. And not…it is nothing and everything.
We need to accept this fact that the mind level cannot grasp this soul connection. Basically this experience is like nothing you have ever felt before or will again. If you do feel this again, then you have to reevaluate what you felt the first time. If it keeps happening to someone, then they have surely not met their twinflame.
Your story is believable, because after all these years you have felt this for a man you have never met. This case is rather exceptional in my opinion and you have managed to collapse timelines and you have made contact with your twin. And hope you do so again.
So what do you think? Is this possible? Were her visits just hallucinations? Or some coping mechanism? Do you have such a story…tell me…
SPECIAL TWINFLAME READINGS/SESSIONS AVAILABLE…BOOK YOURS..
Yes there will be fun and entertainment while we peruse through the 78 cards of the mystical tradition of Tarot.
There will be one on one guidance and much help to start you off on your journey with the tarot.
Written and video material also included.
Maybe you have wondered who or what is Kali? Black as coal and stark naked, her red tongue lolling out, a sting of hands on her waist, a wild head of hair reaching to her hips…what is this image?
Is it a demoness? Is it evil?
No it is a symbol born from the minds of the great tantrics, who for the very first time, reevaluated the role and status of women in society!
Now is the time, to honor the Goddess, in women, children and men and in all of creation! For everything breathes! Everything is alive, in some level of consciousness!
On the topic of this seemingly bizarre and scary AF imagery, like seriously! What were they thinking? But once you go beyond the BS and start looking at what each symbol means, it all seems to fit together. It all makes sense.
Kali is the one who breathes and births, nourishes and sustains, then erases and destroys all of creation! All of infinite space! All the possible clusters of multiverses!
The image of Kali is an attempt to decipher and describe some attributes of this divine feminine power which is abstract and can never be known in all her glory!
The Ancients tantrics of Bengal, Nepal and Tibet knew of this Kali; the mother matrix in all her forms is Purna Sakar or the Personified Absoluteness. In all the Universes and multiverses, the power that manifests all forms that are visible is known as Kali in Tantra.
Tantrics view everything as an organic whole!
They knew this feminine power is best worshiped as mother. Yes Kali can be invoked as lover or even as daughter, but they decided to call her maa. A mother forgives, a mother accepts and a mother protects.
Ramakrishna, the Mahayogi from Bengal, realized this feminine energy both as mother, daughter and lover. There is a story of how he worshiped his consort Sarada maa as the Goddess and experienced parashakti as his lover! There was nothing rational about the way Ramakrishna meditated or prayed. His utterances were ecstatic and he followed whatever his heart told him to do. He even tasted the fruits he offered the goddess and this was unthinkable to the brahmins of that day who were hardcore traditionalists. They derided him, insulted him, an even tried to do away with him. But nothing took him away from his maa. Nothing! And he was later accepted as an avatar by these very brahmins and scholars.
Kali came to play with the eminent devotional poet Pannalal Bhattacharya, who penned some of the most poignant renditions of the genre that came to be called Shyamasangeet which has since then, inspired millions to grasp this abstract principle in some sort of tangible way.
This is why the tantrics accept every woman as a symbol of this Kali and pay reverence to her energy, beauty and glory. Every woman is sacred for she is the living, breathing Goddess. She is to be loved and revered.
The tantrics knew that everything emanates from this power and the feminine is the closest representation to this power in the 3d world. Kumari Puja is where a little girl is worshiped as the Goddess and many other such rituals worshiping every facet of the feminine became central to tantra. From child to mother to crone. From menstruation to widowhood.
To the tantric, Kali is the answer to all suffering; the divine goddess from whom all emanates, who is one without a second; she is the Parshakti.
Until Guru, Atman and Ishta are not experienced within, this long arduous journey of pain and suffering will never end.
What do I mean by that?
They are not so much external elements as they are archetypes within. The Guru archetype awakens within when you are ready to explore the intricate spiritual Universe and the Guru leads you Atman. Atman is the Higher self and finally Ishta is Kali herself who awakens within us the greatest of spiritual experiences. Now we’re Woke AF!
They are one and the same- Guru, Ishta and Atman and they are all Kali. Nothing is separate from another. The Universe and all multiverses are made of the same essence.
A tantric applies bhasma to her forehead. Bhasma is the ashes of the physical body. This reminds her of the temporal nature of reality and the bhasma is a symbol of the Atman,which is indestructible. This bhasma is our internal essence, it holds our vibration.
To find Kali’s lotus feet, one must look beyond the illusions of the matrix, although Kali herself is the matrix. She is Maya, also known as Mahamaya, or the great illusion. But she is the only one who can break this illusion!
Is that a paradox or what! Now do you see how important it is to understand the feminine power behind all of creation?
I mean, you can choose to call her Kali, Diana, Isis, Demeter, Morrigan…it is the same…this abstract feminine principle that creates the male energy as a stage to manifest multiverses is what we need to study, understand and love.
Learn to love Kali in an exclusive one on one workshop with me~
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The story goes like this…steeped in mysticism and folklore…and you know why it is so important???
Because India, the country from which the myth originates is repulsed by women bleeding or MENSTRUATION! Therefore it is time to bring the narrative of the pussy and the power of the SACRED blood back into collective consciousness.
I am a woman who is truly appreciative of the womb energy.
Understanding the operations of my SACRAL CHAKRA opened up my creativity in ways I cannot express. I found balance as I embraced my Pussy. The literal and also the metaphoric. My pussy links me to the Goddess sitting atop the blue hills in Assam. Her yoni and mine are connected. It flows with feminine intuitive juices that can nurture and create.
Kamakhya resonates and glistens with the halo of untold spiritual energies. A YONI or VAGINA is worshiped here, see I was not kidding. There is no image of the GODDESS, none at all. The YONI is all.
This story dates back to antiquity and lies shrouded in the mists of the PRE-VEDIC ERA.
Back to vagina worship…has a nice ring to it…
Shocked that people can do such a thing? In fact, vagina worship is known to be found in cross-cultural societies. Take Japan for instance. Find a small cave in Yeddo and inside is a HUGE YONI propitiated by many. And even BRAHMA was told to begin creation of the MANVANTARA after meditating on the YONI!
Heavy PUSSY POWER there! KAMAKHYA was the ULTIMATE SYMBOL of FERTILITY. The maiden is now ready to become a mother with the seed given to her by the penis or the male energy. The sperm is considered sacred in tantra, but more so…the blood of a menstruating woman.
Shiva told Parvati that any human being who has this text book in their home will never want for anything. What does this mean? Shiva is the male/active principle who impregnates the feminine, Parvati. She who is the female embodiment symbol and they join in MAITHUNA to manifest the world. So with the CORRECT KNOWLEDGE of this tantra, one can gain enlightenment. With enlightenment comes peace, bliss and tranquility. There is no lack or want in samadhi. No desire when the male/female polarities are balanced.
Therefore with the use of KAMAKHYA TANTRA, it is possible to gain liberation and break out of the samsaric wheel. In the KALIKA PURANA, it is clearly stated that the GREAT COSMIC YONI is placed on the NILGIRI HILLS in Assam, India. That place vibrates with the sacred feminine energy of the YONI. The Yoni or Pussy is the greatest creative force, the womb is the ultimate MOTHER of all.
Kamakhya (Assamese: কামাখ্যা দেৱী), also known as Siddha Kubjika,is an important Hindu Tantric goddess of desire who evolved in the Himalayan hills. She is worshiped as Siddha Kubjika, and is also identified as Kali and Maha Tripura Sundari. Her name means “renowned goddess of desire,” and she resides at the presently rebuilt Kamakhya Temple in 1645 C. The temple is primary among the 51 Shakti Peethas related to the sect that follows Sati, and remains one of the most important Shakta temples and Hindu pilgrimage sites in the world.~~WIKI
The tantric texts refer to her as MAHAMAYA or the GREAT GODDESS OF ILLUSION and in KALIKA PURANA, she is said to be the most important Devi to be worshiped to gain moksha. SHODOSHI, one of the emanations of the GREAT MOTHER is said to be her and she is very close to DURGA.
KAMAKHYA is visualized as a young girl of about 16 years old, with twelve arms and six heads of varying colors. The number of limbs and hands signify that she is OMNIPOTENT, OMNISCIENT and OMNIPOTENT. She is dressed as a young bride, wearing a red saree with ornate jewelry. The hibiscus is her favourite flower, like Kali.
She holds a lotus, trident, sword, bell, discus, bow, arrows, club or scepter, goad, and shield in each of ten hands. The two remaining hands hold a bowl. It can be of gold, but more often it is a KAPAAL or a skull. She emanates from a LOTUS which has emerged from SHIVA’S navel, who in turn lies atop a lion.
Brahma and Vishnu, each seated upon a lotus are found flanked on her two sides.
The mention of KAMAKHYA temple can be found in a number of texts. BRIHADARANYA PURANA, KALIKA PURANA, TANTRACHURAMANI, YOGINI TANTRA, DEVIBHAGAVATAM and DEVI PURANA to name a few.
To understand the mythology of KAMAKHYA you have to understand the SATI EPISODE.
Explore the myth of SATI on Wiki to get a context of what happens next.
Cut back to my story…
SHIVA was dancing the tandav with SATI on his shoulders and the world was coming to an end. It was the very apocalypse we fear. Then VISHNU had to use the SUDARSHAN CHAKRA to sever the body of SATI. Her body parts scattered all over the world and in KAMAKHYA, her YONI or VAGINA landed.
As her vagina touched the earth, it metamorphosed to a stone. The same stone we know lies in the temple today. The public is not allowed to see the real stone.
Although the temple of KAMAKHYA has its origins before the Vedic civilization. There were people of KIRATA origin, PRE-VEDIC who offered worship to a GODDESS on this spot by sacrificing pigs! Yikes!
These people were MATRILINEAL and worshiped the FEMININE.
BTW, according to legend, no one can ever touch the Yoni of the Goddess. If you do so, you can get infected and become a STONE MAN, GOT style. The myths speak of metals like iron smelting in contact to the Yoni!
SHIVA, the masculine principle settled his essence in the stone that was once SATI’S Yoni and that is how creation found balance again. This story speaks of so much. It tells us how the feminine must be as grounded as a rock to bear creation. The male can only then settle in her and thrust his sperm. If the WOMB is not ready to receive, then there is no creation. That is why SILENCE and STILLNESS are huge parts of the feminine expression.
It is also said that there is water or some type of liquid all the way down to PATALA or the Netherworld. The vagina is connected to all the worlds, because it is out of her that reality arose.
KAMAKHYA is the GODDESS principle and she manifests as PRAKRITI or nature and natural laws. The stone that is the representation of the yoni has a natural spring that flows through it. This water is sacred and during AMBUBACHI, which is the time of MENSTRUATION of the Goddess, this water turns red. No one knows why. This sacred blood is collected in tiny red cotton cloths and given to people as PRASAD.
During her menstruation, the temple remains closed for maybe three days and the AMBUBACHI MELA takes place in full swing. No one sees the Yoni of course, it is like 20 feet below ground level and sits inside a cave. In the temple, there is a stone that is a symbol of the Yoni below.
I have been to the temple during the AMBUBACHI. But that was ages ago. In fact I have a plan to live for the whole duration of this festival to shoot and interview people for my upcoming videos on Tantra. That is something I am dying to do.
Very many powerful sadhakas, tantrics, bhairavis, yogis, yoginis and many other interesting people appear here during the Ambubachi mela and that time is awesome for content creation. And during breaks, practice tantra. How sublime would that be? Maybe you’d want to join in for this adventure? Let me know.
If you want to study about KAMAKHYA and learn her arts, then drop me an email.
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There are love stories and then there are LOVE STORIES. You have heard of Romeo and Juliet right? Two young lovers, star-crossed, die because of unwarranted hate between their families.
But today, I will tell you about a love story that is way more spiritual and revolutionary than Romeo and Juliet. In fact, it is one that has touched such a raw nerve in my heart that I strongly believe I have experienced this first-hand in some way.
The love story that I describe is not of two adolescents, but of two extremely spiritually developed people. They were twinflames here to raise the frequency of the people. But again, their love was destroyed by pure xenophobia, bigotry, racism and hate. This is a love story seldom told and it is now time for people from all over to see the beauty of this union where even the devastating tragedy that followed could not dim or lesson the love involved in any way.
He was born in Portugal in 1786 and came to Bengal with his father who was a merchant. Now before I delve into the story of this young Portuguese musician(he must have been into music because you do not start composing such tunes and sonnets if you were not into it in some way), let me expose the story of my beloved country circa 1800.
India was the most coveted country that the European powers craved to dominate. The Spanish, the English, the French, the Dutch, the Danes and the Portuguese were all vying for power in respective states. We know how the English managed to drive every one away and pillage, plunder and rape India for over 200 years. That is another story…
Let me set the scene for you. Hensman Anthony, a young lad, came with his father, a Portuguese merchant to trade in the port city of Chandannagar which was called Farashdanga. The Portuguese were on their last legs as they were getting hardcore competition from the Dutch and the French. Eventually the Dutch lost the plot to the French by 1825. The French managed to hold onto India till about the very end, but the British were definitely the undisputed rulers of the subcontinent.
So this young Portuguese lad is anyway on hostile territory where his people and country are on their last legs. He is no powerful English Officer, he is just the son of some Portuguese trader. There is competition and aggression from the other Europeans and from such a turbulent historical period came one of the greatest Shakta tantrics who wrote and sang some of the most moving hymns to the Goddess Kali/Durga.
How is this possible? How did a Portuguese lad learn Bengali? Not in the rudimentary level, but good enough to compose complex and intense poems which he performed in kavigans. Kavigans were literally poetry face off. Two poets would go head-to-head and spout their philosophy and tunes. The crowd would decide who was the more woke guy and they felicitated him.
This tradition of bard-face-offs have been discovered in most societies. It is not a product of Comedy Central. lol. Firstly, Anthony’s father was just a merchant, well to do, maybe…but then again, just a merchant and he must have wanted the young man to follow in his footsteps, not become some freaky bard who sang in Bengali. Like seriously???
But Anthony was more interested to escape into the heart of pastoral Bengal where he would play his lute and listen to the local poets sing passionately to invoke the Goddess.
Something snaps in his brain as he pulls a chillum. He hears the lingering words of the poet Ramprasad’s Shyamasangeet and it tugged at his heart in ways he could not understand. He would spend much of his time with the poets and other yogis he discovered on his travels. He begins to meditate and do sadhana.
Anthony also begins to learn Bengali, a language he falls in love with. Now let me mention here, that Anthony’s Bengali had to be really as good as any literate Bengali poet’s, otherwise he would never be allowed or able to compete, let alone win a kavigan.
Here was a man who learnt a foreign language to the expertise of the local intellectuals. Not only that, he began to compete with them, finally wining his bout most of the times, even with the most famous poet Bholamoira.
Bengali’s are extremely picky about their language and they are never happy with a foreigner being better at it than most of them. Kinda like the French. No one can speak French better than a Frenchman. But when the kundalini awakens, all knowledge becomes available.
Anthony had lived countless lifetimes in the heart of pastoral Bengal and he knew everything about it. The Bengali Brahmins ridiculed him for dressing like them, made fun of his devotion to Kali, teased him about Jesus Christ and the Church, to which he responded by saying, There is no difference in Christ and Kali my brothers…
Hello! Wtf do you say to a man like that? How does a European get here? This is not easy let me remind you. I for one know a woman from London who has lived in Bombay for over thirty years and she can barely say five words of Hindi.
And this is not like learning the language in a University and taking exams, then returning to your country and publishing books from there. Ah what a great Orientalist! Nope. This is no internet certification that now you are a certified Bengali poet.
This was raw, this was life, this was reality. He not only stayed and worked in Bengal, but he excelled at what he did in a foreign country he chose to call home. He lived in Bengal, amidst the Bengali’s and composed some of the most touching Shakta poetry they had ever heard!
And Bengali Brahmins were a closed, snobbish, gated society who considered Europeans mlecchas or untouchables. They would not even let Anthony drink water in their houses. My peeps, this is the situation in which this young man not only awakened his kundalini, but also gave us one of the greatest spiritual love stories to treasure.
I learnt of Firingi Kalibari when I was a child. My grandmother told me and I remember how enchanted I was to listen about a Portuguese man compose these sonnets and poems in Bnegali to the Goddess Kali. It always moved me to tears.
It was much later that I discovered the true greatness of this man. Now back to a history lesson and it is pretty macabre.
In Bengal, we practised some deadly misogynistic rituals….let Wikipedia dose you up.
Sati or suttee is an obsolete funeral custom where a widow immolates herself on her husband’s pyre or commits suicide in another fashion shortly after her husband’s death..~WIKI
My peeps, in less than 1 percent cases, did the woman actually want to commit suicide, but she was forced. By societal constructs, by tradition, by women like her mothers and sisters, enablers of patriarchy themselves. It was coercion. Nothing else.
Sati was ultimately abolished because of Brahmin reformers like RAJA RAMMOHAN ROY, bless his soul as it is his birthday today. Do you see how society has been burning women in different cultures, under different pretences since time immemorial!
Why did Sati even exist you ask? Because these Brahmin women could not find husbands. They were only allowed to marry a Kulin Brahmin of Bengali origin. So me love, because of my surname Mukerji, 300 years ago, I might have been burnt on my dead husband’s pyre. Yes, I am born in a Brahmin family and this is what they have been doing to my mothers, sisters, aunts and grandmothers.
Most of these women were forced to marry a single Brahmin patriarch, because there were no Brahmin men available. Bengali Brahmin aristocratic women were not allowed to even gaze upon a Brahmin, say from UP or Bihar. Forget a European.
My grandmother tells me how some English officers would come to meet her father. The women were never allowed to even glance at a European man. They lived in a different segment of the house anyway called ANDARMAHAL. She told me that there was an Englishman called Robert who really liked her. I think he sent her a letter through her maidservant and of course, all hell broke loose.
Not that my grandmother would have even reciprocated. You see, for them European men were strange creatures whom they did not consider as mates. It was literally that simple.
I am harping on the time-frame so you get a good understanding of how dangerous it was for Anthony to fall in love with a Bengali widow during such turbulent times. This is way more dangerous than the Romeo Juliet saga.
Anthony saves Soudamini from self immolation and takes her to his place. Now after laying the groundwork, I do not need to stress how dangerous an action this is.
Most of the intellectuals are pissed as he is doing so well in his kavigan face-offs. How dare an upstart European sing hymns to the Goddess? How can he have any knowledge of the Goddess? He is a Christians. And then he goes and rescues a Brahmin Bengali woman.
There have been cases of rape and molestation when European men and Indian women have been concerned. But I think this was the first time, in recorded history, a Brahmin woman consensually began to live with a European man openly, not giving a fuck as to what the villagers have to say.
They were twinflames who dedicated their life to awakening the kundalini, practiced tanta and even worked on developing the kali temple together. Their sadhana deeped and gathered a small following. This was no interracial love story of today where any person can get married to anyone as long as it is legal and sanctified by a court.
But here, there was no court, no law to allow a Brahmin widow to remain at the side of her European lover/partner. Their lives were plagued by attacks from the conservatives.
In the kabiyan competitions, Anthony’s rival poets often brought up Soudamini’s name to taunt and ridicule him. It upset him tremendously, but he learnt to take in in his stride.
This was 1830’s or so, it is now 2017 and not much has changed. Even today, in India, you can get attacked if you are in love with a man from a different faith or caste or whatever. I shared a video recently of a Hindu girl attacked by a woman politician for falling in love with a Muslim. So as you see my love, nothing has really changed.
At least they don’t burn us any more openly and call it sati. They would if they could. After all we need to be chaste and if we are truly chaste and not little whores then the fire would not burn us, would it? What Sita had to go through centuries ago, is very much an active wound in our unconscious.
Anthony and Soudamini were blooming in their creative, spiritual love nest they had created. Anthony had composed the AGAMANI SONGS, for which he became noted and this is like synchronicity on steroids because these hymns were written to Goddess Durga as she comes to visit Earth from her heavenly abode.
Guess what my love. That time is now. Goddess Durga or the KUNDALINI has just stirred and she is making her ascent at this time as I type. The Bengali’s celebrate Durga Puja now and it is the most important festival for them.
The Agamani Songs are to be hymned now and I think the spirit of Hensman Anthony is urging me to tell you his story. He wants you too know how much he loved the woman they took from him.
The world is truly cruel.
His wife Saudamini was burnt to death, for being a widow and re-marrying Anthony, who was a foreigner. ~~Wiki
There, that’s what the Brahmin puritanical conservatives did. They burnt her and their ashram while he was away. He may have returned home from one of his biggest wins to see his whole reality and the love of his life burnt to crisp.
Ominous, isn’t it? Soudamini was pregnant.
This is what bigotry does. This is the scope of fanaticism. As we head into the new Era, let us consider this as a cautionary tale. Maybe they took this karma upon themselves to show us what hatred can do. But in this there is a message…
Even after three hundred years, a random blogger/lifecoach finds this story to tell you at this very precise point in time?!? It means that hate did not win. Ultimately it is their love that won. It is their spiritual mission that is still standing as the Firingi Kalibari where millions of Shakta’s go to invoke the kundalini.
Love wins all my Beloved…
Find a man who will love you like Anthony loved Soudamini. Love a man who will go against all establishment to join with you in sacred union. Or else stay single.