A Strawberry Full Moon in Capricorn, June 28th, 2018: Because I love you so much, I fall to pieces~~

Tinaheals

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy! ~~ ~~William Wordsworth
The infancy of this cycle of humanity emerged from the astrological sign of Cancer, the sign of cardinality, flux and change. Cancer is the sign that signals the beginning of the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and this FM happens in its opposite sign of Capricorn which is all about completion.
This lunation happens on the 6th degree of Capricorn, Decan 1 and is the last before the eclipse portals open up! And the name Strawberry moon comes from the fact that this is the  perfect time to go…

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Twinflame Yearning in the RX season~

I ask you for violence, in the nonsense, and you, you give me grace, your light and your warmth. I’d like to paint you, but there are no colors, because there are so many, in my confusion, the tangible form of my great love.’ ~~Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera

There is a sense of deep, deep, penetrative soul searching love as Mars has gone retro in Aquarius which is my house of relationships from my Leo Sun! And the ruler of my 7th from my Ascendant has gone retro.

There is a deep ache in my pussy that is reverberating from down there all the way to my heart chakra. The Priestess uses her pussy as a radar. The pussy detects twinflame yearning, only if you listen. No amount of making love or no amount of self pleasure can satisfy this craving!

This hunger is Neptune dreaming up impossible dreams of everlasting love and pangs of separation. I guess Neptune retro in my 7th house on my Moon, is a time when my heart craves the most for my twin soul. And so does my pussy and my body!

And this body is entangled with another…far, far away, in another multiverse…

I am searching for that body who carries a part of my soul in his. I told you how twinflames are the same soul. Yes, they are an expression of the sacred union of Shiva/Shakti. The great tantric maithuna!

The CAP FM coming up is in my 5th house of romance from my ascendant as as FMS bring things to light, I want to see what pops up for me as I will be away from my family.

Staring at the full moon from a place of wonder and magick! A place closest to my heart. Tearful longings fill my heart. And I cry…I cry aloud, I cry in silence, I cry alone and I cry with friends…the tears don’t go away. It’s been the blackest day…

And I am forced to think of a love I never had. No matter how much I try to shut him out, the hologram keeps laughing at me. I am helpless. I am powerless and impotent as my body responds to him, so does my mind and what of the soul. He is my soul!

There is someone I want to meet. There is someone I want to hold. There is someone I want to love and it is you! This should be an easy piece to write. The words should flow smoothly, because of my depth of love for you. But maybe, words here cannot do justice!

Every single moment I avoid thinking of you, all I can do is think of you. I don’t know what your name is, but I know when I hear it, it will bring me peace. Blissful, unadulterated peace. A name that will bring a smile to my lips. A name so familiar that it will ring in the very core of my being. A name which resonated within through infinities and eternities!

Memories, memories, memories…they appear in the torturous stormy seas of my mind, but they disappear. All that remains is your smile, like the lighthouse across ravenous destructive waves. Your gleaming light saves me from drowning in the fogs of the abyss.

I know you are as aware of me as I am and maybe while you sit staring at your screen, in your Universe, maybe due to quantum information bleeding into parallel worlds, you see my words appear before you.

You do not know where these words come from, for you have no idea what they mean, but you read on. Why? Because there is something so familiar in these words that makes every pain and every sadness go away.

You are eternally bonded to me, why do you deny it? Are you even aware of this connection? Do you thirst for me?

I think you feel all of this, as much as I do…I feel you crave for my body and soul as much as I do yours and what of my mind? It is as beautiful as yours…

You have looked for me as I have for you, but we have not met, because there is no inter dimensional travel for me yet. Do you want to come to my Universe instead?

Maybe  you’re already trying to figure out how to get to my Universe. Maybe you are devising a time warp machine that will make you cross the dimensional distance and you will come into this multiverse. What unrealistic expectations, I tell you!

Or maybe you don’t exist…more likely the latter…my pussy knows you exist.

So back one more time, due to public demand to speak about Twinflmes. Tada! Now listen to me, I am travelling all the way to a magickal twinflame place called Goa in the next two days.

As La Luna becomes pregnant in Capricorn, the polarity of Cancer, I have been called to be close to the seas. One more time, I will be about to stare at the Goa skies and think of this crazy twinflame connection that I felt once, many, many years ago…

No I am not going for fun and will be going alone. No baby. No husband. Just my work and my solitude and the energy of my twinflame which is all pervasive in Goa. Nothing can stop me from feeling crazy dejavus in that place. It is like he is right there, but I know he is not. Lol!

It’s not possible for my twinflame story to be so easy. What if I see him walking towards me in Vagator? Will he smile? Will he remember me? Will he run to embrace me?

Sometimes I think of what it would be like to meet him. What would I say? Would I feel centered or absolutely ruffled? Would I be articulate? No man has ever made me lose my tongue. No man ever. Maybe he is the only man who can get me tongue tied. And it is not easy to get me tongue tied.

The Hummingbird in Vagator! Part 2, all alone.

Read about Part-1

https://mywritestuffblog.wordpress.com/2016/12/22/the-hummingbird-in-small-vagator/

Walking down the shore, drawing patterns on the beach, smelling the salty seas, thinking of what it would be…if he was here…yes, I wish you were here…you from another frickin’ multiverse.

Couldn’t you just be from this dimension! Talk about complicating stuff!

Maybe, maybe…you are already trying to communicate with me. Maybe through art. The way I like it.

Sometimes I think of you as a painter. Drawing in the canvas of my soul.

Sometimes I see you as a sculptor, capturing my infinite essence in your artwork.

Sometimes, I think of you speaking to me in a tune, crafting the sounds to describe the pain and love in your soul.

I promise to look for them. I know you communicate with me, through psychic energy and sacred sound.

I know you are not in my mind, or are you?

Sometimes, I feel scared that we will never meet in our physical form on earth, but then maybe in death, we shall be united in some way.

Although I hope to meet you in this life. Even if I am seventy and I see you coming, I will know you have come. And I will rest in peace to know I saw your face, even if for a brief moment!

I cannot even write that I knew you were the one since I laid my eyes on you, because till now, I have waited to see your face. Till now I have waited to look into your eyes. I have waited to see if you love me with the same intensity that I do.

I wish we could grow old together, but we won’t. I wish we could read each other’s minds, which we do, but we will never talk about it. We will never see our children, because time and space have conspired to keep us apart.

The best part about this craving I have for you, is that I have no clue what about you I am craving. Is it my soul, now fragmented just wants to seek unification of some sort? And is my body reacting to this connection? My pussy is…there is  stargate in there, waiting to be activated…by you!

Every time the rain drops come crashing down like silver sheets, inundating my consciousness, there is a tune I hear. Or is it a chant? Whatever it is, it reminds me of you. Rain and sunshine, both! How perverse is that!

No man has ever touched my body the way you would, because having the same soul, this body too, is yours. No one can kiss these lips like you do, for they are your own lips and when you look into my eyes, you will feel like you are looking into your own being!

I am your mirror…look at us!

That is the connection I feel to this unnamed energy that I call my twinflame. There is no tangible physical form, but there is energy. Energy which flows from his heart to mine and I think the energy being churned out by the skies above is heightening this connection, this yearning, this impossible fulfillment.

My body aches to be with you, the void in my pussy, impossible to satiate with anything, but you. Every atom of my body is eager to express my love for you in an impossible dance of sacred union. Our bodies enmeshed in an eternal embrace, you pulsating within me, setting every fiber of my being on fire.

No hands can ever worship this body like yours and no one can pleasure me like you.

There is no you. There is no me. There is only the sacred fire of our communion. There is only our love burning bright through the abysmal darkness of creation and destruction.

My all consuming passion drives my creativity, it drives my lust for life, it drives my sense of purpose. It is the anchor of my life, my North Star, the ever present fixture in the mirth of my consciousness.

I know you communicate with me through symbols and archetypes, through birth and death, but now it is time to show yourself…appear and manifest in this Universe…

To someone in some multiverse…

DONATE~

http://www.tinaheals.com

Solstice Special: 21st June 2018~~Strawberries cherries and an angel’s kiss in spring…My summer wine is really made from all these things~~~

Tinaheals

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance. ~~William Wordsworth

The Sun enters the feminine, cardinal, water sign of poignant, impassioned Cancer where the soul learns about emotions and connections. Ruled by the Moon, Cancer is the sign of the mother and the child and according to esoteric knowledge, this branch of humanity has emerged from a Cancer ascendant! If Cancer is the origin of the energetic grid, then Cap is the culmination. Every cycle must begin and end somewhere.

Now that the Summer Solstice has come in the Northern hemisphere, we can now begin to discern how our life has taken shape and developed over the last six months! This is a reflective period rife with potentiality to do spirit work…

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The Test of Twinflames~~

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ~~Stephen Chbosky

So are you stuck because this is what you think you deserve? Or dare you dream on? Is there a micro narrative in your mind, about a secret passion. A mysterious obsession. Do you find yourself thinking about that someone you cannot forget?

Many people tend to have that special ex or that special crush the cannot forget and this might have to do with their Venus and Moon signs. for a man. Often times, the moon sign shows what type of woman he will marry, but his Venus sign will show you what kind of a woman will attract him and no, most f the times, they are diverse. What a man is attracted to and whom he marries differs, and this is why it does. Astro baby!

As promised I am back to discuss Twinflames with you guys. But today we will take a different approach. There are two stories I wish to share here.

One is a continuation and an update from the previous text where I spoke of this woman who had secretly loved a foreigner she had met seventeen odd years ago.

https://mywritestuffblog.wordpress.com/2018/05/13/the-magnetic-pull-of-your-twinflame-a-case-study/

She loved him all these years and finally found him on Facebook recently. Few years ago. But about two months ago, she decides to delete him. Why? Maybe to see if he would react? Let us read her update.

Dear Tina,

I know you have been waiting for an update for a while now. I know you want to share it with your readers. I know you want to know how this saga culminated.

Tina, I wish I could tell you that yes, yes, yes, this is a twinflame story and indeed he initiated contact with me. But I’m afraid, this is not the case. It has been over two months that I deleted him, in hopes that he will contact me. Maybe he will add me back. But nothing. I am sorry that I led you to believe that this was  twinflame connection. I know how this material is so important to you and how your research can potentially help many. But I cannot. There has been only silence from his end. In fact I am not sure he even knows I am not on his list. Or maybe he is thankful. Who knows? So I think this whole thing has just been a delusion of some displaced fantasy that I have been harboring. I don’t think he even felt a fraction of what I felt, because if he did, then he could not and would not stay away. He would make it a point to come to me. Only if he felt a minute bit of what’s in my heart. But he has not even acknowledged my absence from his virtual space, so I can only presume that he is not aware of any connection between us. I am sorry for calling you up all these years and wasting your time to convince you how he was my Twinflame. Thank you for being patient, but let there be no talk of him anymore. Two months is not a timeframe to keep silent about something like this. Obviously noting goes to waste in the Universe, you keep telling me that. Energy transforms. So I don’t want to end by just harping on how shitty this whole illusion has been, instead I will end by saying that, everything seems unmoved. It’s like no one even noticed that our invisible virtual connection has been severed except me and no one cares. Not even the only other person who should. In a nutshell this is the update. I wish it was fancier. I wish you could use it, but I guess this whole thing has been worthless for you. Just the imaginings of a delusional woman!

This is a part of the message, edited to hide personal details, but this is what she wanted to express. There has been no news from this man she thought was he twinflame and she is by now totally heartbroken.

You know what I think of it? I don’t think she felt all those feelings for him all those years without any reason. I am not saying he is her twinflame, but there is a possibility. How is she so sure that he is not aware? Even I intuitively feel he is aware. By just looking at him eyes. And honestly, I think he is as miserable as her. Look, I could be wrong, but this is what I got from my meditation. It is not easy to tune out of a case and people I work with easily. I think she has deleted or will delete her Facebook account soon, so he will never be able to see her again. Oh wait, I don’t think he can, he is already blocked. But of course there are other platforms. So for now, we will keep hoping that he does get over his issues, whatever they may be and manages to send her a message on some other social media site. And what if he knows everything and feels everything, but is just not ready to accept this love. Or maybe he does not know what to do with all these feelings? Twinflame remembrance is never easy.

“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..” ~~ Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Now let us get to this next story. This is a woman I met in Goa, from Bangalore and she had such a poignant story to share. Listen to this…

Dear Tina,

I know you ask people for their stories to research up on twinflames, so after much hesitation, I decide to write to you. No one knows of this story except my sister and she has passed. As of now, there is no one who knows, except me and him.

I was in Goa with my then boyfriend and his best friend. My sister joined us and the whole trip turned out to be parties, drinking, beach visits and generally hanging around. Now my BF and his bestfriend did not like to hang around during sunset at this open air rave place, so I used to go alone. My sister grumbling, because of the long walk, would mostly follow behind. During the beach visits, I noticed a young  group of Israeli guys. I was eighteen at that time and they looked about my age. They were very polite and smiled at me. After that first encounter, I would see them all over the place. There were five guys, but there was only one I was into. He had a strange blond brown longish hair and steely grey/green eyes. I never looked at his eyes long enough to notice their colors, but they were intense and I caught him staring at me many times. Every time I met them, my heart would skip a beat. All of them usually spoke to me, except him. He did smile and nod his head, but he never spoke to me. I used to see him everywhere and mostly I was with my bf. Anyway, this went on for about a month and then one day suddenly when I met the guys, I noticed he was gone. I did not want to ask so openly and waited for them to divulge his whereabouts. But when they did not bring up anything, I had to probe. “So where is Y? “Oh, he has gone to Humpii and to Om beach in the South. He may return to Israel from there itself.” his friend replied. Upon hearing this, all color must have left my face, which I did well to hide by murmuring incoherently and looking away. TearS were beginning to sting, but I looked away and put on my shades, hoping that they had not seen my emotions. Shortly, I made an excuse and ran back to my hotel room and cried in the arms of my sister the whole night. Thankfully my bf was out with his bestie and was not aware of what had happened. Anyway, life continued on and one fine day, my bf gets a call from his college mates that he has to return to Pune to sign a form for their exams and this is his last chance or else he would have to sit out his exams. I convinced him to leave with his bestie, telling him that my sis and I would be safe. We would chill at home mostly for the couple of days he would not be here. His departure was actually quite a welcome change to me. I was happy to be alone in Goa. My sister and I listened to music till evening and then I stepped into the shower. My sister was sitting outside and suddenly I heard a male voice talking with her. My heart was frozen in fear and began to thump loudly at the same time, when I realized that the Israeli guys, the one I liked for all these months is sitting there. Talking to my sister, with a cup of tea in his hand. Joking and laughing with her as if he’d known her all his life. Seeing me standing there, my jaws touching the floor, he stands up and smiling in such a way that made me feel  both dead and alive, he walks to me and hugs me. He whispers in my ears…”I came back for you…I thought I could avoid this pull…but I cannot. I leave for Israel tomorrow, but I had to return to Goa to see you. If at least for one last time. This crushed me, but I was so thankful for that night. We spend the whole evening together. Eating felafels in Vagator, swimming in the evening seas, kissing and making out under the stars. He never made love to me, because I did not want. But we kissed and held each other. That evening was truly magic! We stayed together till 5 in the morning and he left. He promised me that he will write to me, but he has never done that. In fact, I have tried so many times to search for him and have never found him online. About four years ago, I met one of his friends online. I had to ask what happened to him and the answer I received, I do not accept. He told me that my love had died in a bombing attack. He had to go back to the army, he told me that and he also told me how much he hated war. If I accept that he is dead, it might make the pain easier. It might help justify his abandonment of me. Yes, he did promise to write to me and come and meet me next year for the Goa season. But obviously that never happened and all these years I had thought of him with a wife and children. But his friend told me he is dead. I keep searching for his name and I have also told many friends in Israel to look for him, but their search has been unproductive. The Israeli guy who told me about his dead also seems to have gone offline. I do not know what happened. It as been a long time since this happened and I can tell you one thing…that day when he walked out of that hotel door at five in the morning, waving goodbye to me, that was the most soul wrenching, heart crushing moment for me in my life. I did marry eventually, but nothing will take away my love for that Israeli soldier that I met in Goa. Nothing. And till today I do not know the color of his eyes.

These are the two cases I present before you…Twinflames or not…you decide.

As for as me, I strongly believe in this kinda connection. You know what, according to retrocausality, time may indeed be travelling backwards. The future decides the present and the past.

I have felt a strong longing for a man I have never known, for a love I never had, for a home I never lived in. I know I have felt him so, so many times and I still do. It’s his face, his eyes, his smile I try to see, but all I sense is his love and I cry so much for him…

I know that there is someone, in some multiverse who is thinking of me, just the way I think of him. Maybe this appeals to me because I am an Artist and the poignancy of a love story that can never be must release some serious seratonin and dopamine in my brain. Oxytocin? It is the bonding chemical. There’s definitely oxytocin involved in love. But how can I be bonded to someone I have never met? Someone who possibly exists only in my imagination. 7th house Pisces Moon may have something to do with this obsession. Lol! But his thoughts will not go away…HALP!

His memories stream from some  parallel world, where we are together. Where we wake up together and go to sleep together. I know those memories exist, for I have felt them. I have felt him call out my name. I have heard myself call his name. Although I have no idea of what that might be. Psychic energy is not always linear and easily interpretative. He is connected to me through quantum entanglement, there is much “spooky action at a distance” for me to ignore.

What is this SPOOKY ACTION AT A DISTANCE?

It involves a pair of particles linked by the strange quantum property of entanglement.

Entanglement? Huh????

Entanglement occurs when two particles are so deeply linked that they share the same existence.

Twinflames are the same soul, so they share the same existence!

In the language of quantum mechanics, they are described by the same mathematical relation known as a wavefunction.

Wavefunctions are possibilities. Twinflames are all about possibilities. Will they meet and if they do, will they be able to create their lives’ mission? Can they manifest?

Entanglement arises naturally when two particles are created at the same point and instant in space…TWINFLAMES ARE THE SAME SOUL!!!

Entangled particles can become widely separated in space. But even so, the mathematics implies that a measurement on one immediately influences the other, regardless of the distance between them.

In the words of Science, this entanglement remains constant, irrespective of distance and even death!! For what is death? The soul is quantum information, returning to the sseas of quantum time and space. Even beyond that.

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Donate to me~support the Twinflame cause~~

http://www.tinaheals.com

New Moon in Gemini, 13th June, 2018: Cause girls like you run ’round with guys like me~~

Tinaheals

“Yes, they are elves,” Legolas said. “and they say that you breathe so loud they could shoot you in the dark.” Sam hastily covered his mouth.” ~~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Don’t start hyperventilating with this complex Gemini energy which can drive you nuts if you’re not taking the time to catch your breath. Yes it is fun, yes it is whimsical and yes it can be amusing, but if care is not taken it can be dangerous! Do not gossip and act fickle minded. Think of Gemini as working towards having an adaptable intellect.

Listen to what esoteric knowledge has to say…

The inferior type of Gemini is very dangerous and that is why his friendship is not advisable. ~~Samael-aun-weor

Jeffrey Dahmer “The Milwaukee Cannibal” who claimed 17 victims was a Gemini Sun, in the 8th House of Sex and Death! Scorpio and Pluto’s realm! And his Pluto in Virgo squares his Gemini…

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Neptune Retrograde in Pisces 2018~~Will you still love me when I am no longer young and beautiful???

Tinaheals

The fish goddesses who have leapt from Earth (Virgo) to water {Pisces} unitedly give birth to the Fish God (Christ) who introduces the water of life into the ocean of substance and thus brings light to the world. Thus does Neptune work~  Alice Bailey – Esoteric Astrology

Life is life–whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man’s own advantage.” ~Shri Aurobindo

Succinctly put in front is the very ethos of Neptune! And when you think of the brand of Neptunian spirituality, you cannot not think of Aurobindo, the great sage from Bengal.

It is Neptune RX season, a time to travel beyond the fragments of time and space, into the unknown. Into the real Twilight Zone! Neptune is a gas and an ice giant, “the eighth planet of the…

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