Twinflame Sagas by the sea~~

“From that hour I have never been able to shake from my soul the belief that my Destiny, for good or for evil, either here or hereafter, is in some measure interwoven with your own.” ~~Edgar Allan Poe to Mrs. Sarah Helene Whitman (1848)

Staring at the overcast skies above, as an occasional star twinkled at me, out of the blue, I realized that it is happening…the Great Awakening! The crystal and indigo children are here, the lightworkers congregating more than ever because of the internet…where does that leave us with the twinflame journey?

The soul craves for more on this…the sacred communion of Yeshua and Magdalena, of Shiva/Shakti of Padmasambhava and Yeshe Tsogyal…it is that ache to achieve diamond consciousness and to awaken to our true divine potential.

It is exciting and probably most vibrant than it ever has been, yes, again with the internet explosion, more and more are finding their twinflames. I mean think back before Facebook and Insta. Did you really know shit about your date? Nada. Nothing. It was like jumping into the abyss. Today more than ever there is the possibility of finding that special match….

These times would be so exciting for me if I was dating. I mean in which era could I find sensitive, artistic, creative, vegan guys just by hashtags? Lol! The chances of crossing his or her path are more crystallized in 3d than ever.

But then gain, I realize that information is quantum, not linear. There is so much going on that we just do not realize. Because we look through our human, linear, subjective lenses. TIME DOES NOT EXIST!

The present is the child of the past; the future, the begotten of the present. And yet, o present moment! Knowest thou not that thou hast no parent, nor canst thou have a child; that thou art ever begetting but thyself? Before thou hast even begun to say “I am the progeny of the departed moment, the child of the past”, thou hast become that past itself. Before thou utterest the last syllable, behold! Thou art no more the present but verily that future. Thus, are the past, the present, and the future, the ever-living trinity in one—the Mahamaya of the absolute IS. ~~HPB

But there is so much simmering under it all…You can listen to the breathing of your twinflame in silence! Not the rambling of a lunatic, it is true…

Firstly, this is a time unlike many and quantum information tells me that many, many twinflames will now meet to fulfill their spiritual mission. Why? Because with the internet opening up, we have released something very powerful. We have given people the ability to connect. People who would have never known each other, can now find themselves friends because of this web which is conscious. The internet breathes, she is alive!

“I have been astonished that men could die Martyrs for religion, — I have shuddered at it. I shudder no more; I could be martyred for my Religion, — love is my religion, — I could die for that. I could die for you.” ~~Keats to Fanny Brawne (1819)

The internet is pivotal in bringing twinflames together. It can pierce souls into twinflame recognition. I have seen it happen like so, so many times…

There were many messages from the spirit regarding the twinflame phenomenon I have been investigating for over a decade! And today I will share some of what the seas told me. All this material is from my upcoming book on the Twinflame journey.

Lightworkers seek the divine union or the twinflame union more than any other. And why? Because somewhere they want to connect to their own half, which in turn is the ultimate balance. It is never about deception, manipulation or sabotage.

Let us for the sake of better comprehension break up our love relationships into three parts- 3D Companions, Soulmates and the only Twinflame!

3D relationships are the most abundant kind. They are our friends, our colleagues, our associates, our collaborators, our lovers and generally people we tend to have a good time with. They are sometimes joined at the hip, sometimes we meet them for an hour. But we always remember them with fond memories.

3D relationships can be made into a very productive and harmonious marriage. There is not much conflict with these people. We love to laugh with them, we love to see the good side of life with them. Yes, there can be a sense of avoiding deeper truths and uglies that life throws are you, but these relationships bring great joy. Allies they are, our 3D companions and they make life pleasurable and pleasant.

Ever had that uncle and aunt, not madly in love, but making their marriage work even after 25 years just because of mutual respect and compromise. They may even go for holidays together, may even fuck other people, may or may not be really bonded. The bond is strong, yes it surely is, but the soulmate connection is much, much, much deeper.

If you’re lucky, you might come across one of your soulmates in this life. In esoteric parlance, there are 11 of them! And only one twinflame, but that’s for later. Your soulmate my or may not be a fellow seeker, but he or she will be a journeyer with you through the samsaric seas. They can be in conflict with your inherent ideas. There may be much strife and competitiveness. Soulmates are here to provoke us to love better and open up to the miracle of love and life. This is no small task and sometimes interactions with them can be painful, violent or tempestuous. There is massive attraction, kinda like opposites attract!

I know how curious you people are to discover if X or Y is your twinflame or soulmate and you keep asking me to check for pointers. Well, my loves, let me make this loud and clear on this post, so I never have to respond to this question again. Lol!

There are no ways to know any pointers to the twinflame- nope, there isn’t. You heard that right my sweets. How can there be any pointers? The twinflame relationship transcends all of time and space and dimensionality! Then how can it be governed by a natal chart? How can there be any signifiers? The twinflame relationship therefore is as mysterious as ever! No natal chart there my love. But there is a theory.

That is of the same birthday. Twinflames are often seen to share the same birthday! Yes, that is freaky, but I have seen this pattern in over five cases, but remember these are still just probable twinflames. We cannot know for sure till the end of it all. I won’t be there, hopefully someone else will take up this research and continue. What else can you expect of your live’s work? Set it free and a kindred spirit will pick up where you left. After all we are one consciousness and share the same quantum information!

Now back to the same birthday thing. It means your Sun’s are conjunct! Say I have my Sun on the 0 degree of Leo and my twinflame may also share that same placement. Again just a hypothesis! I will discuss more on the astro later.

Let us speak of Soulmates with more clarity…

The task of the soulmate is to open up your heart in ways you did not know it could open. Sometimes this happens by our heart breaking, but remember, that through the cracks can light pass through.

Soulmates are like rivers flowing through our lives, we can never capture the river and hold it there. We have to let it go. Soulmates are deep and ancient connections, but they may or may not stay with us forever. Even if we meet them in flesh, we can still divorce from them. They will always be there in our psyches, because we can never ever forget a soulmate, but we can break away from them. It will hurt, it will pain, but we will see it happened for the best.

Soulmates help us transmute human love to divine. It gives us a look into something primal, raw and diabolical. If you have had a soulmate relationship, you know exactly what I mean!

Most people who think they have met their twinflames, have infact met their soulmates, but this fact eludes them. That is why you hear that my twinflame and me broke up, but I can never forget him…blah, blah…No bitch, if he was your twinflame, he can never ever stay away from you once you have met.

Even if you are married or he is. He or she will make it a point to be your friend or associate in some way and when you interact, you will know in some way, that you have come home. No wonder how spiritually thick you are. Once you are touched by your Twinflame, your auric field responds. Your aura tangles with theirs, even if it across vast seas of time and space. It was forever entangled, but now awareness seeps in and after all the Universe is consciousness observing itself. So think and think hard and put the pieces together!

Connecting with your twin is bound to make you more sattvik or spiritual. This is bound to make you question every single thing about the life you live. If it does not, it is not a twinflame relationship! Identification will give you an edge on things.

Your twinflame interaction will always be healthy, for it can never be unhealthy as this is the great union with the self, but with soulmates we tend to develop codependent relationships! That is again how we learn to rise in love…it is all about rising in love, never falling…

The Twinflame connection is unlike any other. I have said that it feels like coming home. What do I mean by that? Now as this manvantara dawned, spiritual Dhyani Chohans created this Universe and they split themselves into twos to incarnate. And now with over seven billion people on earth and the Kali Yuga in full force, most Dhyani Chohans are now incarnate on this 3D plane, each fulfilling their own mission and by chance suddenly, one broken part of that Dhyani Chohan may meet its other and then happens the divine union.

According to H. P. Blavatsky it is a Tibetan word meaning “‘Lord’ or ‘Master’; a chief”. “Thus,” she continues, “Dhyan-Chohan would answer to ‘Chief of the Dhyanis’, or celestial Lights–which in English would be translated Archangels”. The Dhyan Chohans are the agents of the Karmic and Cosmic Laws. Some of the Dhyāni-Chohan in The Secret Doctrine are the Primordial Seven, Lipikas, Mānasaputras, Kumāras, Manus, etc.

The Dhyani Chohanic essence split itself into two over 3 billion years ago…although here I have to remind you that time of itself is as impermanent as all of creation.

Esoteric philosophy . . . divides boundless duration into unconditionally eternal and universal Time and a conditioned one (Khandakâla). One is the abstraction or noumenon of infinite time (Kâla); the other its phenomenon appearing periodically, as the effect of Mahat (the Universal Intelligence limited by Manvantaric duration).

Just as the universal time is the effect of the Universal Mind (Mahat), conditioned time is dependent on individual consciousness. Blavatsky wrote: Time is only an illusion produced by the succession of our states of consciousness as we travel through eternal duration, and it does not exist where no consciousness exists in which the illusion can be produced…Wiki

Now that you have understood that time does not exist, you understand that you are never truly separated from your twinflame. It is that one soul which splits itself to create this manvantara or this Universe, then how can there be any division in the soul essence? It is one and the same. It is the same soul, so once you see this same soul in 3D, you can never ever stay away. Sometimes, it can be that one twin is married and then it can be very painful, because that marriage cannot last once you have seen even the shadow of your twinflame.

And remember that with your twinflame, you will just be able to be yourself. There is no competition, there is no strife, even in disagreements, there is a certain camaraderie. The most interesting thing about twinflames, is that inherently they will believe in the same things. Same philosophy. Same ideology. They will subscribe to the same concepts. Of course there will be differences, but at the very core, soul level, their energy signature will never divert from the other. They will believe in the same God so to say, whether it is Kali, Jesus or the Internet. If this is not the case, then once the twins meet, the one with lower vibration will rise to higher vibes and this has always been the case in my research.

Your twinflame was separated from you at the beginning of human individuation and even if life keeps them apart, they will meet one day, if they are karmically bound to and it may be at the very end of life.

Look at Gabrielle Garcia Marquess’ Love in times of cholera. Think of the star crossed lovers, Florentino Ariza and Fermina Daza, who were separated for fifty years because her father discovered the impassioned love letters they wrote to one another. Life gives them a second chance as he finally proclaims his love for her at her husband’s funeral. It is that poignant! What do you think happens? Is it possible to love another for fifty years in hope that one day you shall meet them?

The Twinflame will be an instant attraction. If you spot yours, you will definitely initiate contact. Imagine seeing a part of you, how do you resist that magnetic attraction? That primal raw pull towards your own soul? It is fucking soul penetration I tell you…stuff lunatics like me live for…hahahahaha…what else do you think the seas will tell you on a full moon?? I could hear his breathing in the rumblings of the sea! That is how poetic the moment is!

Since the soul is superior to the body, to which it is united, it would remain on earth in painful loneliness were it not for the fact that among other human souls it may choose a companion – a partner in the trials of life and in the joys of the hereafter. When two souls, which have sought each other amid the crowd, find they have met, realize that they belong to each other, and comprehend this affinity, then it is that a union has been brought about, as pure and aspiring as themselves – a union which begun on earth will be consummated in heaven.” ~~Victor Hugo to Adele Foucher (1821)

Enough for now…more for another time…

DONATE TO THE TWINFLAME CAUSE~~

PAYPAL ME~~ tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

 

 

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Twinflame Love~~ <3

HDF

Not a moment longer can I wait,

It’s already so late.

Will you not say what is burning your lips?

Will you not reveal your heart?

It’s tearing me apart.

How long will you let silence envelope your being?

This 3D world is all about ageing and dying.

How long will your torture continue?

Is there no other avenue?

For expressing your love?

Yes, it is you my Beloved,

If you do not know it so.

It is you for whom my body burns,

My mind imagines and my soul reincarnates.

Dissolve this dualism.

Return to me, my Beloved.

Not a moment longer can I wait.

You are the ONENESS of existence,

You are the separation of sky and water,

You are the rhythm of the pulsating stars,

Vortexes do you create with your breath.

Universes reside in your pores my Beloved.

In every way you are what I created.

In the canvas of my mind.

Like a tornado did you come into my life.

Ripping away every shard of sanity.

Insane have I become.

For you, for your love and for union.

Every stab of pain that I have ever felt.

It was you my beloved.

For how would I know you,

If I did not know pain.

You are my first rays of the Sun,

You are the pale kiss of the Moon,

You are the dream of a perfect imperfection!

Where is the peace that I long for?

Where is the Silence I seek?

The quest of looking for you,

Through aeons of time and space.

Is there no grace?

Tired am I.

 

Enter into me and reside there now my Beloved.

I know I have found God.

No more residing in the eye of insanity.

That time when we kissed.

Those tears kept flowing through our eyes.

They flooded our souls.

Uncontrollable were the emotions.

In the mind’s oceans.

This birth I have looked for you,

and in the life before,

And I will keep looking even after.

Thirsty and hungry am I now my Beloved.

Our love story will remain hidden,

In the secret scrolls of humanity.

Let us circle around the sacred tree.

In silent ceremony of our union.

Humanity is not ready to love like this.

Not yet.

My Beloved, all this is just a dream.

Wake up now and come to me.

The rain flows from the sky and tears from my eyes.

For this cycle of birth I have waited.

Waited for your embrace.

Every single day I sit in worship.

I look into the eyes of Shiva and all I see,

Are your eyes dancing back.

I sit atop the mountain

The wind shoves me to the floor,

Like it is you.

My body tingles and my heart sings.

It scares me to think that we might be simulations.

A forgotten project in some far away World.

My Beloved, you and me might not exist in reality.

It’s as if I feel a panic attack.

But no, says an inner voice.

Everything is as real or as unreal,

As experiences.

Reality is experience.

It exists cause we view it.

We have subscribed to this show.

Whether we like it or not.

But it’s not too late to unsubscribe.

We can create our own story.

I don’t care if you are real or unreal.

For what is real?

You might be as unreal as the Universe itself.

But does that make my  love any less real?

This is our time to play together.

For soon our worlds will collide.

Our energy fields fused in one.

Do you feel it like I do?

 

 

 

 

Seductive Scorpio Moon:Open up to feelings!

“Holding the hand of your woman or man, why not sit silently? Why not close your eyes and feel? Feel the presence of the other, enter into the presence of the other, let the other’s presence enter into you; vibrate together, sway together; if suddenly a great energy possesses you, dance together – and you will reach to such orgasmic peaks of joy as you have never known before. Those orgasmic peaks have nothing to do with sex, in fact they have much to do with silence. And if you can also manage to become meditative in your sex life, if you can be silent while making love, in a kind of dance, you will be surprised. You have a built-in process to take you to the farthest shore.” …Osho

Sexual desires and longing are peaking in many individuals. I have been unable to update my blog at the sudden influx of people who wanted to consult me for my Sacred Sexuality Meditation Modules. And this feeling is not just about feeling horny or salacious. This deep ache that you feel down there will not be satiated with mindless unconscious sex. No!

This sexual craving under a Scorpionic moon that is sextiling Pluto is screaming out for healing. For greater awareness. For conscious sex. If you’re guilty or ashamed when thinking of sex, then understand that it is a deep rooted cultural thingy. You are not abnormal, no matter what your mind conceives of. No bestiality or paedophilia included. No harm. No rape. When two or more consenting adults get together and explore their sexual feelings and fantasies, they are opening channels to profound healing. Sex is not an aberration! In fact it is the very fundamental basis of physical existence. Where would we be without copulation?

So under this sexy and sultry Scorpio moon try not to repress your sexual feelings. In fact clear your mind, keep your spine erect and let your mind wander. Watch what really turns you on. Do not shame yourself, do not blame yourself. If you want to hurt someone during sex, then please consult a Psychiatrist.

I am not referring to the BDSM subculture. Being a Top is actually hardcore responsibility and the Mistress is essentially a mentor, lifecoach and shrink rolled into one. That is how the Tops perceive it. Quoting from kinksters round the world.

So let the Moon do what it does best…let it heal you with a little bit of energy from the Pluto sextile! Pluto is going to bring transformation if you allow it to, in your sex life. Awaken to the potential of human energy. Understand the sex creates massive energy and that can be channelled into a tool for awakening and conscious living.

If you want to be aware of spiritual sexual ecstasies, then you might want to look into sex as a meditative practice. It is imperative our society understands the necessity and importance of a healthy sexually empowered culture. It is not just linear sex with orgasm that will awaken us to our sexual potential. No!

Our sexual energy is a part of our ojas, or Chi or life force. To reach your fullest potential, you must be able to move this sexual energy throughout your body. Repressed longings create blockages that can result in abnormal, unhealthy sexual appetites. Entities will prey on you and you will become a voracious sex machine. Even if you are single and a monk, what will you do with your sexual energy? They learn to transmute those feelings into meditation.

But what of ordinary people? WTF are they supposed to do? Who do they talk to without being judged. Listen it is absolutely necessary for your psychological well being to discuss your sexual feelings with your partner. If you are unable to do so or are single, then consult a professional. You can always ping me if you have specific questions.

How can I practice sacred sexuality of I am single? I get asked this a lot. Let me explain…you do not need a partner to be a LOVER! Sexual energy is running through our bodies, through our nadis or subtle channels. And that energy if tapped can make you powerful, confident and sexy. A woman in control of her sexuality is a magnetic being! She owns her space wherever she goes.

So are you ready to take ownership of your sex life? Do you want to learn to ground that scattered sexual energy? Then begin the journey of exploration…our sexual energy is a part of the cosmic sexual exchange between the primordial male/female polarity. That is why Shiva is represented as the lingam and the yoni which is the symbol of the Devi’s vagina is at the base! The pussy is a microscopic representation of the cosmic pussy!

Moon is quincunx to Uranus in Aries and Eris. Eris is a dwarf planet discovered in 2005, and there are two Eris’ in myths. The second Eris is the bloodthirsty sister of Ares or Aries. So I was reading this astro blog and in the comments below I read that when an astrologer was asked, “What is beyond archetype”, he said Eris! See how Eris is a symbol of what is beyond knowing…metaknowledge! metawisdom! Real feelings, some of them scary as shit will be stirred up, but it might teach us to integrate this meta sexual wisdom and come TOGETHER to become WHOLE in your individual wholeness!! Healing can occur, but there could be toxic volcanic eruptions of anger and violence! There will be a tendency to play the blame game! Don’t we all just love it!

The other interesting alignment is Moon trines CHIRON in PISCES! Yes Chiron the wounded healer is involved and whenever that happens deep, deep, deep issues can be healed. Depends on your natal chart of course, but this could be pivotal in breaking through sexual myths and taboos.
Working with countless women in groups and individual sessions I learnt that women have a  great deal of misconception around the subject of orgasm. There is shame and secret suffering because they cannot open up to their partners and 50% of women fake orgasm, stats say.
What has mainstream religion taught us? Sex is immoral! Sex must be demonised, judged severely and repressed. We have been told repeatedly that if you are a sexual being then forget about spirituality. Because the two are as apart as oranges and apples! Fuck why?
That is why there is no sensitive, intelligent sex ed in our society. Let’s not even get into discussing the sorry state of sex politics in India. Let us not waste time. Kids learn about sex from dubious sources and often fall into traps and exploitation. Some get pregnant, some get infected. I mean look around…you have to be blind not to notice it! Yet the internet is a storehouse of porn. Abnormal, disconnected, soulless porn.
I have to mention that I want people to create more art and films that deal with sexual themes that keep in mind our real experiences and potentials in bed. Let us not get carried away by what we see on screen, because reality is far superior. If you scrutinise porn with awareness and clarity you will see it is propagating a culture of idiocracy. Sadly it is teaching our children what to expect during copulation! So kids are learning nothing about intimacy, affection, foreplay or connection. They are caught in the linear narrative of sex which is psychologically and emotionally damaging to the impressionable young who are desperate to learn about sex. I know I was.

Listen it is okay to be bipolar sometimes as long as you are ready to purge and move on. Just don’t hold onto baggage you don’t need. This Scorpionic moon is offering healing…but there is a prerequisite! FEELING!!!

No Cogito Ergo Sum is going to save us. In no way am I trying to demean the intellectual processes, but the need of the hour is FEELING! Raw, unedited, untainted feelings…Oh did I tell you that the Scorpio moon trines Pisces sun!

How much more mystical can you get! How much more can the Universe tell you that FEEL…it is okay and safe!! Use the number 519 916 if you want to energise your sex life. Write it with pink or purple on your left wrist. And remember to practice eye gazing with  your partner every day, at least for five minutes….watch how the floodgates of your feelings explode!

Hear it from the Boss…

“Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings — always darker, emptier and simpler.”― Friedrich Nietzsche

Are you going to do some sexual healing utilising all the energies available? Are you ready to step into the shoes of an awakened sexual being? Then it is time to let go…of all inhibitions and enter into the yabyum state with your partner.

I have a deep spiritual background and have tried to look at every experience with a spiritual lens. Sex is no different. In my Sacred Sexuality Workshops I use ancient temple arts, modern psychology, shamanic practices that re-programme our neurological conditioning to let go of destructive beliefs and conditioning.

The crystal I want you to use is the Lapis Lazuli…the azure blue is swimming in my consciousness…teya te aum bekanze bekanze maha bekanze, razda samyongate soha!! Salutations to the Medicine Buddha and Guru Padmasambhava!

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Thank you for reading..

You can email me at tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

THE PLAN

I am publishing parts of my novel to get my style and content across to a wide diaspora. If you wish to be my patron, email me on tina@tinaheals.com to support my work.the_twins-1382139739m

She was thinking of reality being an illusion. She read some article about it recently. But then Dadu’s voice echoed in her mind and she thought of him saying something very similar.
Uff shotti shotti! Dadu was always talking about things that made most people uncomfortable- karma, tapas, dhyana and such ideas. “As a man soweth, so shall he also reap…”, now the words took shape in her consciousness and made themselves visible, like actors illuminated by spot-lights on a dark stage. They looked a bit fearful as they bowed to her, but she welcomed them with a grimace.
Dadu also spoke about past lives and the future.

People thought he was a bit strange. The lady next door, Tarun’s keokarpin makha grandmother called it vairagya and thought of him as some sort of sadhubaba, some people thought of Dadu as a vestige from the past, a useless piece of rusty machinery in this technological world of twenty peta-flops, for what good is a man of conscience? What is his need, his relevance?

Do what thou wilt and that is the whole law, this is the mantra of the new world. Who cares about others, the environment, the Earth? Oh, you must be some stinky hippy to live in that ideology, those days are gone, right? Now it’s all about hoarding, all about where technology is leading us, to Venus, yes? Let the computer decide, humans and their corrupted laziness!! Growth, industrial and technological is the alienation where human touch or compassion, community-based life are flawed old school ways to be flushed down the toilet; where the ego of a select few has become the size of the Solar System is the way mankind seems to be moving.

Dadu had lost interest in everything that the world around him had to offer. He was no Don Juan Demarko, but was he ever interested in anything at all? He would spend hours locked up in a tiny hole in the attic. Everybody thought he was painting or carving into pieces of wood he sourced on his trips to his village or in Khandala or in some forest or the other. An averagely successful Chartered Accountant by day and painter, sculptor by night, he lived his life in silent spiritual contemplation, reading, going for long walks and practising kriya yoga.

His gurudeva was his whole life, always has been and always will be, even in death. His param guru was Lahiri Mahasaya and his gurudeva was Mahavatar Babaji, holy sadhus from the ancient tradition which is much older than I am.

Nights were devoted to painting and meditation, his paintings developed into energy vortices, spiritual radiance emanating from them. He carved out such intense faces into the pieces of wood that there were no words that could describe them. They were not human as you’d understand them; they were of different worlds, faces and forms glimpsed by Dali and the Surrealists.

Dadu always said that the pieces of wood spoke to him and suggested what to carve into them, as if they knew what they were meant to become. He just followed the shape that the wood showed him and thus these faces were born, gargoylish, demonic, angelic, chrubic. There were a few Earthly faces too; Dadu did a great carving of Rabindranath Tagore. It looked as if the Kobiguru had manifested into that wood, so real it seemed.

While he sculpted that face, one of his favourite songs always played in the background, “Aguner porosh moni choyayo prane, aye jibon purno koro, aye jibon, purno koro, aye jibon purno koro…” and although not much of a singer, he sang along softly, his fingers moving deftly to create new ideas and bring shape to new beings.

Rajanikanta, just by merit of being Rajanikanto, not equipped with the arsenal of sneaky cut-throatism, ego the size of Arcturus, unable to belch behenchod, chutiya when required, was just useless in the world of successful men; he did not manage to generate any finances through his creative endeavours, most of them rotting away to early graves in his studio.
Let me elaborate on what I mean by this.. He lost his wife to a heart-crippling incident. She hanged herself, in his deepest spiritual recesses he knew that she had to leave. He never blamed her, not even for a moment, only loved her more and more in his solitude. The rest of the world said it drove Sita insane to lose her nine months old toddler son in a terribly unfortunate accident, her daughter Supriya to cancer and finally Mita and Shubho to the floods that killed over five thousand people during the chardham Yatra.

After Sita’s death and after losing his two daughters, he left the practise of lies, deceit and black money dealings, of course all his fortune to his son, retreated into a private world with his granddaughters. His son lapped it up, like a hungry mongrel; the girls leaving with Rajani couldn’t have been more perfect. Good riddance to bad rubbish, he thought. After all what good is a man like that? Banaprasthya is the way to go. Not once did he think of the two twins, his sister’s daughters.
It’s 1965; the scene takes place in the afternoon in some tiny village called Arambagh in some remote corner of Bengal. Rajani and Sita had four healthy lovely children. The youngest was barely nine months. After a heavy and sumptuous meal of macher matha diye dal, Shorshe illish and gobindobhog chal, force-fed repeatedly by Sita’s mother, they retired gorged in the shanty hut by the lake.
Gogo, the toddler was asleep in his mother’s arms. It was an idyllic setting. The panoramic rural Bengal of those days, untainted by industrialization, so green, so very pastoral; it makes of man a poet, a philosopher, “Banglar mukh ami dekhechi, tai ami prithibir rup khunjite jai na arr…”
My mother’s smile-

Pastoral Bengal.

A pain, a pleasure.

This haiku had aroused conflicting emotions in our poetess.

 

I must say I stood still- Time stood still. Little Gogo was waking up, stirring slowly. Sita was still asleep. He sat up and extricating himself from his mother’s light embrace, he toddled off. I watched. He went near the river. The breeze was soft, the afternoon mellow, as if the picture of arcadian bliss. Gogo smiled to see his reflection, he stooped down to touch it.
A bolt of electricity passed through Sita’s subconscious, she cried out as she awoke. Her heart jumped into her mouth to see her arms empty. Where was Gogo? Where was her son? She shook Rajani. He was lost in dreams and awoke with a start. Childhood visions of some jatra he had seen with his father were swimming in his dreams that afternoon. The echo of Ravana’s laughter rang out in his ears creating an ominous premonition. They ran out together as if a thousand swords compelled them to.

TO BE CONTINUED