INTRODUCTION ON CHANNELLING ISHTAR

Bigger than the mountains am I,

The Empress of the gods am I

The Queen of heaven am I

The earth’s mistress am I.

(translation of an old Babylonian text)

This is a special channelling session for I am summoning Ishtar as I do my Ishta Devi. I am integrating Ishtar’s energy into the Dasamahavidya. Kali, Tara, Shodoshi, Bhubaneshwari, Bhairavi, Chinnamasta, Dhumavati, Balaga, Matangi, Kamala, the ten energies of the Mulaprakriti.

The solitary ray dropping into the mother deep may be taken as meaning Divine Thought or Intelligence, impregnating chaos. This, however, occurs on the plane of metaphysical abstraction, or rather the plane whereon that which we call a metaphysical abstraction is a reality. The Virgin-egg being in one sense abstract Egg-ness, or the power of becoming developed through fecundation, is eternal and for ever the same. And just as the fecundation of an egg takes place before it is dropped; so the non-eternal periodical germ which becomes later in symbolism the mundane egg, contains in itself, when it emerges from the said symbol, “the promise and potency” of all the Universe. Though the idea per se is, of course, an abstraction, a symbolical mode of expression, it is a symbol truly, as it suggests the idea of infinity as an endless circle. It brings before the mind’s eye the picture of Kosmos emerging from and in boundless space, a Universe as shoreless in magnitude if not as endless in its objective manifestation…HPB

The Cosmic Yoni is the concretisation of these Mahavidyas. My tantric diksha took place a few years ago as I was given my mantras by my tantric guru. Great man who helped shape my spiritual journey along with a few other SPIRITUAL GUIDES I have like MAHAVATAR BABAJI and the sages of GYANGANJ.

I am calling upon Ishtar, today through the Kali yantra. I have solar motifs. Crystals, incense and the works.

Let me begin by telling you about my attraction to Ishtar. The books of Zachariah Sitchin popped into my hands before I hit my teens. Those theories fascinated me and got me looking into most of the truther stuff of the later years. Ishtar was introduced to me.

My tireless, never-ending research began…and as I delved more into her, I felt like I was being pulled into whirlpool of energy. Something familiar. Something known and loved. Her affiliation to the animal kingdom and her being who she is and what she stands for makes me want to know her. The wisdom in her COSMIC YONI!! And I totally believed Ishtar/Innana to be one of the aliens who created and ruled over humanity.

Okay I was troubled about the fact that we humans needed to be ruled over and that they created hybrids who would be the masters of the human populace, the veil was lifted and I smelled colonialism and its toxicity all over again. But that did not keep me from Ishtar. In fact my interest in her got deeper.

By the time I was completing my college, I had written a play on Ishtar with mixed media. I was thinking AR/VR prototypes then! Funny how the cosmic MIND imprints you with ideas, thoughts, suggestions…

This play was called THE JOURNEY OF ISHTAR and it charted her descent into the Netherworld. Her journey through the netherworld became an allegory for my life. I began to see patterns unfold. Of the same pain and shame Ishtar went through. Her nakedness became a metaphor for the ABSTRACT DARK SPACE or ULTIMATE REALITY I was calling out to Ishtar, the light bringer. The fact that her reign was not characterised by that of a consort attracted me. DUMUZI, her man literally lost his life and penis after she fixed with death’s gaze…hahahaha! What’s with men and their cocks?

All through HIS-STORY we see women little more than objects or trophies. But it is her and her kin like Hatshepsut, Cleopatra that we have seen the Queen portrayed as something more than just a mannequin.

Yet while I watch the show CROWN on Netflix, I cannot help by see how Elizabeth has always been a puppet. Yes they do try to show her coming up against the system as a feminine role model, yet, I do not see her as such a role model. In fact, she appears as an ENABLER OF PATRIARCHY. So not much to talk about there.

My Lady abandoned heaven and earth to descend to the underworld.
Inanna abandoned heaven and earth to descend to the underworld.
She abandoned her office of holy priestess to descend to the underworld….

This is what her slave writes about Ishtar and this descent to the UNDERWORLD has been a sort of lingering trope in my life. Saturn in the Eighth house. Yes a macabre obsession with DEATH  and REBIRTH. Complete bad-ass Pluto energy which makes me go to the proverbial UNDERWORLD repeatedly to seek myself.

This obsessive fantasy about facing death head on and surviving is a very Plutonian energy that I challenge and of course Saturn beaming my EIGHTH.

Anyway, Ishtar/Innana took me through this psychological journey of archetypes many times. Through the play, through channelled poetry, through meditation…I have invoked Innana.

Today I call upon Ishtar through the Kali Yantra. Is that possible?

I know of her animal shamanism. She channelled animal spirits. Protected the animal world. She also shows us the power they have. Yes this stuff is dangerous, but hey what is not “dangerous”? We have to investigate to get at the crux of the matter.

I know Ishtar’s energies are active in me. My love of animals, facing death and devastation during my tenure as an animal activist with AWA. I still work with street animals. Regularly visit shelters and sanctuaries. And of course I have my own family of rescues.

The Lion! I am a Leo Sun and Ascendant. Vedic Kundli says my Lagna is Simha or LION! And I have four planets in Leo! Including my Mercury. So there all that fifth house related stuff gets a full energetic makeover. Ishtar is associated with SHAMASH, the SOLAR GOD. The Sun is the ruler of LEO!

I am not much of a ritualist. I perform a lot of rituals mentally, like my Shiva Puja and a few homas. Yes I do mental homas. Manas puja. You can try it too. Watch a homa on Youtube. For me its very easy as my Guru in Calcutta does Dasamahavidya homas, Mahamrityunjaya homas, kala sarpa dasa homas in our ashram.

Being blessed, I have performed several important homas there like Chinnamasta, Dhumavati and Kalabhairav and Bagala homa. So I have them in my mind, the whole scene, the mantras, the collective chanting it, the warmth from the flames coming alive by my Guru pouring sacred ghee in it, the smell of incense, the bhakti of the hundreds gathered. It is mystical. The faith. The belief. All of it. And then on all that my Guru’s voice reciting the mantra….I have all of it, in my mind. It’s there stored away in my MIND PALACE.

Ready to be accessed and used anytime. So you find your ideal homa and you can do it too. Manas puja is very sacred. In fact our progenitors created MANAS PUTRAS or the MIND BORN.

In the Mandukya (Mundaka) Upanishad it is written, “As a spider throws out and retracts its web, as herbs spring up in the ground . . . so is the Universe derived from the undecaying one” (I. 1. 7). Brahma, as “the germ of unknown Darkness,” is the material from which all evolves and develops “as the web from the spider, as foam from the water,” etc. This is only graphic and true, if Brahma the “Creator” is, as a term, derived from the root brih, to increase or expand. Brahma “expands” and becomes the Universe woven out of his own substance. The Pitris are lunar deities and our ancestors, because they created the physical man…HPB

So literally Brahma made himself from himself, or his mind, because everything is spiritual and has no dense body. Thoughts create you. So never underestimate the power of your MIND- conscious and more so, the UNCONSCIOUS for therein lies the greatest mysteries.

For Ishtar, I have kept her image, you know the full length shot doing the rounds on the internet. I have kept the Kali yantra in front and am concentrating on it. After meditating on Ishtar and her life, I shall start writing…just channelling her energy. No editing. Oh of course there is LAPIZ LAZULI that I have placed inside the yantra. It is Ishtar’s favourite.

Then, after three days and three nights, Inanna had not returned,
Ninshubur set up a lament for her by the ruins.
She beat the drum for her in the assembly places.

Neither Enlil nor Inanna’s father Nannar, the Moon God of Ur, will help her because she has craved the below, and because those who choose the underworld do not return. Ninshubur succeeds in getting Enki to secure her release:

The story of Ushtar was inscribed on clay tablets at around 1750 BCE and what do we see?

Nothing changes. Patriarchy was as disinterested as it is today. As oppressive and  couldn’t-give-a-fuck as today. Lovely! Nothing changes.

But Ishtar still decides to go there…wonder what her chart looked like? Also the whole stripping away of her clothing and jewellery are signs that she is having to give up power and control. Allegorically it could mean she is shedding veils of ignorance and getting closer to wisdom. Nakedness signifies DEEP WISDOM and is used very much with regards to the feminine. Even the Dakinis, the naked sky dancers exhibit the feminine WISDOM. Like Kali who symbolises just that. Stripping away of all ignorance and falsities.

I love doing rituals for Kali, such intensity in her depths. Ishtar/Innana is ready to shed all her power. For what? I feel like her in so many ways. Ishtar’s journey is all about exploration and acceptance. She stares at the skeletons in her cupboard. She harmonises them and is triumphant! What a woman! I meant she is a woman like us all right? And we?? A goddess too…WE ARE ALL GODDESSES and that is a lesson.

There is very important documentation referring to the description of the constellation VIRGO, which has its origin in the ancient Assyrian-Babylonian culture. This constellation has always been female and has been especially associated with the tension between fertility and beauty. The BABYLONIANS associated this constellation with the goddess Ishtar, also well-known under the name of Ashtoreth or Astarte…This bit is just magic to my ears. MY VENUS IS IN VIRGO. So your Venus placement is important to check out. Sublime!

Ishtar is the Goddess of sex too. Now having Saturn in the Eight is quite an intense lesson. To be learnt in the arena of sex, death, rebirth, shared resources. Can sex and Saturn be even spoken of in the same sentence? Well, ask us…the SATURN IN THE 8TH people. We are a special breed.

Through us a lot of sexual information will be passed to the collective. The eighth house is one of such hardcore lessons- how do you share resources? Who are you in the deepest dark? What are your fears, anxieties, worries? Lastly how do you deal with them. Saturn teaches you…he is a strict task master. In India we say SHAM SHANISHCHARAYA NAMAHA to appease Saturn. You can try it too. And wear black, eat black rice. You can get in touch for more details as it is imperative to know where Shani is positioned in your chart.

Back to the scary EIGHTH HOUSE stuff- this is not some wishy-washy, light and frivolous house. These energies are intense. Now let Saturn decide to be there when you were born, then stuff gets really heavy and deep- murky, briny…but Saturn wants you to know how to swim out of that quagmire of your psyche full of fears, repression and anxiety. Somehow Saturn in the eight usually means that ideas that sex is dirty can be passed down from elders. This is your battle AND YOUR metamorphosis. You have to prove to yourself that SEX IS NOT UNHEALTHY.

We take INTIMACY seriously, like ISHTAR did and I see nothing wrong with that. I am on the quest of TRANSFORMING(SCORPIO) my FEARS(SATURN- LOW VIBRATION). This house is the gateway to my deepest psychological secrets and like Ishtar I am on a journey to understand the archetypes, tropes and imagery of the deep UNCONSCIOUS.

In fact this is why Tarot, Astrology and other divination modalities are so helping to me. They help me explore the PSYCHE. I love it. And having an occult leaning, I see how as above so below and nothing is real. A HOLOGRAM. That’s what this is…a 3D Hologram.

Where are we? We are a part of that UNIVERSAL BRAIN…all of us, including ISHTAR.

Did you know that all sexual activities ceased when Innana entered the NETHERWORLD. ALL SEX STOPPED!!! There is so much importance given to describing her body that it obviously points to her enjoying her femininity and sexuality.

She put the whole gender thing into flux. See she was supposed to attract Tammuz/DUMUZI like any other Goddess, via sexy clothing, jewellery, makeup, flirtation and a whole lot of other shit. But what does she do? Returning from the underworld, accompanied by demons who must have a mortal in compensation, she fixes the eye of death on her absent-minded partner who is engrossed in affairs of state, and he is chased by the demons of hell, losing his possessions, his genitals and his life. There you have it!

This losing his genitalia is symbolic of his manhood. Did Ishtar take away his manhood by being a full blown woman? Is it true that when a WOMAN/SACRED FEMININE finds her true power, no man can subdue her. In the world of patriarchy that means a man has lost his manhood. There is no BALANCE you see. IN PATRIARCHY THERE IS NO EQUALITY!

Innana challenged that concept and I think that is super cool. And of course, she is the GODDESS OF HEALING….So she is an archetypal energy I seek to invoke. She never minced her words. Surely not a diplomat. We see this when she speaks to the Gatekeeper of the Netherworld. She is deciding to go where no one is permitted, yet, she speaks with so much authority. I mean that could be misconstrued as a bad thing, but it may not be so.

Patriarchy has oppressed us women for so long, that some of us have become inherently REBELLIOUS. Turning Camus on his head- if patriarchy is ABSURD, then how do we react to it? With rebellion of course. Now more than even we need to collect all the broken female hearts and make them into ART.

Which of your lovers have you loved forever? Which of your Little Shepherds has continued to please you? Come, let me name your lovers for you! … (col. 2:) … for TAMMUZ, the lover of your youth. Year after year you set up a wailing for him. You loved the mauve-colored `shepherd bird’: but you seized him and broke his wing …. So you would love me in my turn, and, as with them, set my fate….” This is from the epic of Gilgamesh. Here we see how Gilgamesh is actually afraid of Ishtar’s advances for he FEARS THE INTENSITY OF HER LOVE. He is worried that ISHTAR will emasculate him and erase his name from History.

This trope is also common in the patriarchal discourse…a woman’s love! DANGEROUS. FICKLE. “Young men’s love then lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.”  This quote by Shakespeare elucidates the MALE GAZE perfectly well. Has it changed? Men will love with their eyes. So girls look good. It’s not in their hearts. Men are of course heartless jerks(sarcasm, I know the EVOLVED MAN archetype very well).

Maya Angelou rings true to my mind…A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim. Will be bringing to you channelled writings…later on in the day if possible…

 

Secrets of Kashi, a place of Gods!!

Who does not know about Kashi? It has had many names but as we all know, a rise by any other name is still a rose. Benaras, Varanasi and who knows what names it was called prehistorically??

I am sure that Kashi is much older than we give her credit for.  It is old, ancient, who knows how old??

 

In an attempt to answer this perplexing puzzle and to find out more, a group of archeologists led by former professor of archeology at the Banaras Hindu Uni(BHU) Prof Vidula Jayaswal is busy “unearthing the antiquity” of this city through excavations at the ASI protected site at Rajghat with help from the Archaeological Survey of India.

Below I quote from an article TIMES OF INDIA PUBLISHED FEB- 6^TH 2014.

 

“Based on archaeological remains unearthed at the Kashi-Rajghat area about four decades ago, findings had suggested that the city was inhabited around 9th century BC. But our venture aims at finding answers to a number of questions like how old is Varanasi actually? What are the factors which helped this city to survive till today — particularly when other old cities on the banks of the Ganga died out? The news excavations could push the date back by several centuries,” Vidula told TOI on Wednesday.

“We are digging the earth in 5X5 meter blocks till a depth of 5-6 meters to find out archeological remains,” she said. Based on the earlier findings, the ASI records say that the site of Rajghat perhaps represents the ancient Kashi. This area has been one of the oldest settlement sites and still possesses natural groves and old remains. This mound was excavated by BHU and from 1960 to 1969 and a trial trench was dug in 1957. The excavation carried out at Rajghat brought to light artefacts dating back to 8th century BC to 18th century AD.
“We would take help of carbon dating technique to ascertain the antiquity of our findings,” she said.

Vidula, who is associated with Jnana Pravaha, Centre for Cultural Studies and Research, said, “During my tenure at BHU I had led the excavations in the periphery of Varanasi at Ramnagar (2004-2005 & 2006-2007) and Akatha (2001-2002 & 2002-2003). The archaeological remains found at Akatha suggested that it had a settlement in 1800 BC while Ramnagar had settlement in 1750 BC. These findings of Akatha and Ramnagar compelled us to do a fresh exercise to ascertain the actual age of Kashi (Varanasi), which has a living history from 800 BC based on earlier excavations at Rajghat.”

“The undisrupted occupation of Kashi region since ancient times till date played a vital role in the make up of modern Varanasi. The fact is that Kashi was not established by any royalty, but it has been nurtured by people and folk culture,” she said.

Vidula, who has also authored a book, Ancient Varanasi (An Archaeological Perspective), had already mentioned in it that ancient remains of Varanasi, which were unearthed at Kashi-Rajghat about four decades ago, could demonstrate that this holy city was inhabited around 9th century BC and had attained status of a promising urban centre by 3rd century BC.

Sarnath, the place of first sermon of Gautam Buddha, retains archeological remains from the time of the Maurya king Ashoka. But, excavations as Aktha reveal that this settlement had greater antiquity than that has been obtained at Kashi-Rajghat. Glimpses of its past come through the descriptions of ancient texts and archaeological remains. The information available from the former is fragmentary in nature, while archaeological records, an authentic base for the reconstruction of the past, are ever growing. The discoveries and findings add and modify the known history. The recent archaeological investigations, as the one at Aktha, has brought to light new evidence which is significant and needs to be added to the history of Varanasi, she mentioned.

According to her book, on account of the archaeological remains of Kashi-Rajghat and Sarnath — the stretch of the cultural zone of Kashi — was considered to be within a five kilometre radius from the nucleus of the modern city of Varanasi — the Pucca Mahal locality. Besides, ancient texts and modern studies on human geography suggest that the large urban set ups like Varanasi needed to be supported by a number of satellite settlements of feeding centres which, though small entities occupying peripheral region, remain integral part of settlements of Varanasi-Sarnath region. The first colonization of Kashi region, on account of these findings, could be pushed back about 500-600 years.

Yet, what is 500- 600 years- Kashi is way older than that!!!

We all know the sacred sthan or place of worship which exists in the coordinates 25.2820° N, 82.9563° E, is a place like none other. We know it is the place of Kashi Vishwanath or Lord Shiva and his consort Maa Annapurna.

No one goes hungry in Kashi and for a Hindu to die in Kashi, on the banks of the river Ganges means they are going into Devachanic bliss, emancipation from the endless cycles of birth and death. Numerous pilgrims hoping for this reach Benaras at the twilight hour of their life.

Yes this place is so sacred. This is no nonsense, its the higher vibrations of this place which take you into the higher realms, and if your karma permits you will die there and reach these heights. But not everyone can die here, if your karmic fruits do not permit, you will not and simply cannot die here to reach Devachan; the important lingams is Tarakeshwara, Shiva as Lord of Taraka Mantra, the prayer of crossing at the time of death. Tarakeshwar will take you to the land of pure consciousness if you surrender your mind, body and atman to him at this holy tirthasthan.

From the dawn of history Kashi-Varanasi has been a great seat of Learning.   Many famous works in Sanskrit language are said to have been produced in the city. It enjoys a pride of place among the Educational centres of India, being the seat of Kashi Vidyapeeth, Sampurnanand Sanskrit University( built in the style of Gothic Architecture), Islamic University (Jamia-Milia) and the Great and the biggest residential University of Asia – Banaras Hindu University (BHU) founded by Mahamana Pandit Madan Mohan Malviya in 1916.

it is also famed as a place known for its heritage in music, literature, art and craft. It is a cherished name in the art of silk weaving. The Banarasi silk sarees and brocades are prized all over the world. The classical musical styles or ‘gharanas’ are woven into the lifestyle of the people and are accompanied by musical instruments that are manufactured in Varanasi. Many religious texts and theosophical treatises have been written here.

So many holy men come and go in Kashi and some had made it home, like Baba Trailanga Swami, who was himself the walking, talking Shiva of Benaras.

Even Baba Vishuddhananda went there and established an ashram; he also did the sthapana of the Navamundi Mahasana there(the explanation of the Navamundi Asana is available on my blog for interested seekers). The entire city of Shiva is regarded as Mahashmashana, the Great Cremation Ground for the corpse of the entire universe.

Mahavatar Babaji goes regularly to Kashi; in fact Paramhamsa Yogananda met his guru Yukteshwar Giri in Benaras. There are so many anecdotes about Varanasi and holy men that I could go on and on forever.

But did you know that the etheric Kashi that exists above the sthula version is a rather interesting place. Of course things in the ether are larger than in the physical world, the place is less dense and the vibrations are purer than here. There are references of this in the Puranas.

Past smaller ghats such as Mansarovar Ghat, named after the holy lake in Tibet, and Narada Ghat, honouring the divine musician and sage, lies Chausathi Ghat, where impressive stone steps lead up to the small temple of the Chausathi (64) Yoginis. Images of Kali and Durga in its inner sanctum represent a stage in the emergence of the great goddess as a single representation of a number of female divinities. and Chausatti yoginis are all awakened in the etheric Kashi; so are the lingams of Vishweshwar, Dhundiraja.

There is another state of Kashi besides the above mentioned two and that is the causal or the adhyatmic one. Did you know that throughout Bharatavarsha it was famed that there are never and there can never be any earthquakes in Kashi.

In ancient times, Kashi was called Avimuktakshetra, in its adyatmic ir causal state.

When the Kundalini awakens, it rises from the muladhara chakra and step by step reaches the sahasrara chakra through the others; but as it rises, it also falls back- it’s all dependant on one’s karma. The chakras in which it may fall back and rise again are Swadhisthan chakra, Manipura chakra, Anahata chakra and Vishuddha chakra. Understand that nothing is static in this Universe, everything is constantly vibrating and so are the chakras. But in the state of Avimuktakshetra, the vibratory influence fades away, and the yogi can be assured that once the kundalini has risen here, it will never fall back into the other chakras.

This allegory means that Kashi will never have earthquakes. This is the hidden meaning, the secret of Kashi or rather of Avimuktakshetra!!!

On the two sides of Kashi flows rivers Varuna and Asi, they are the symbols of Ida and Pingala, the Surya and Chandra nadis. Sushumna is far too spiritual to have any physical symbol.

Lolarka Kund, the Trembling Sun”, a rectangular tank fifteen metres blow ground level, approached by steep steps is now almost abandoned, except during the Lolarka Mela fair (Aug/Sept), when thousands come to propitiate the gods and pray for the birth of a son, Lolarka Kund is among Varanasi’s earliest sites, one of only two remaining Sun sites linked with the origins of Hinduism. Equated with the twelve adityas or divisions of the sun, which predate the great deities of Modern Hinduism, it was attracting bathers in the days of the buddha. So this place is prehistoric!!!

On certain days like during the mahakumbha, the energy moves from ida and pingala into sushumna and therefore bathing in the Ganges that day purifies your karmas and takes you to Moksha.

So understand the subtle meanings behind why our ancestors had given so much to importance to the mahatirthasthanas!!!

Prayer or Meditation

ॐ सह नाववतु।

सह नौ भुनक्तु।

सह वीर्यं करवावहै।

तेजस्वि नावधीतमस्तु

मा विद्विषावहै।

ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥

 

In this article I shall seek to investigate both prayer and meditation; the relevance of them, the importance of each and finally we will go on to discussing whether we should pray or meditate? Which has greater importance in this day and age?

Let’s begin with PRAYER.

A prayer has many implications- serenity, tranquillity, peace, bliss; it starts a dialogue with the Godhead, it helps us in speaking to our ishta. Through prayer we learn to control the functioning of our body at a cellular level, it promotes harmony, synchronicity and a deep restfulness.

As we go through our day, we expend enormous amounts of energy on our professions, ambitions, negativity, excitement, etc, etc. These drain us and we lose massive amounts of prana due to these activities; a prayer aids in accumulation of positivity and spiritual energy.

In fact, every second of prayer purifies millions and millions of cells in our body and within one-eighty-six days which is within two blood renewal cycles, our internal metabolism transforms and then if prayer is continued, the complete vital change takes place in seven years.

Prayer can also inspire an individual to philanthropy, as good thoughts become good actions.

Discipline is the key to prayer; to acquire a peaceful mind, one must pray every day, at the same time. The Muslim world makes use of this strategy with their five times namaz and their azans which always happen at exactly the same time. Imagine the energy they create when so many people are focussed towards Mecca at specific times. It can account for the fact that Islam is the largest growing religion.

I always begin my prayers at a fixed time, and amazingly no matter how disturbed I am, my mind becomes calm and tranquil. I light the diya and the agarbattis, the air is almost immediately transformed. The smell of the ghee in the lamp triggers my mind to become still(as still as it can get), the smoke from the agarbatti wafts in the air, sometimes I see patterns and faces in them.

When I was younger, I almost always had a request for Maa Kali, my ishtadevi. But slowly as the years rolled on and with my parent’s advise, I stopped asking. I prayed with gratitude and did not ask anything of the almighty.

Desire is the root of all evil; reading up on Buddhist philosophy and the Bhagavadgita, I tried to erase desires from my mind.

Action without hope, says Lord Krishna. I tried to understand and put this to practise. Desires can never be obliterated from the mind of someone living in this consumerist hellhole.

Just to function at a very basic level, my wants and needs were quite substantial. And I mean just BASICS!

When you seek to initiate a dialogue with the divine, remember that essentially it’s a monologue; chances are heavy that it will never graduate to a dialogue at all. So here we are all buzzing away like busy bees, carrying on our individual monologue, hoping to be heard.

Everyone wants something, a new car, a five figure salary, a plush condo; I agree some want more basics like food on their plate, but still these are all wants. We want it all, the cacophony of billions of thoughts always demanding, cajoling, requesting something from a God, whether he be called Krishna or God, the father, whether she be called Kali or Tara is enough to drive him/her mad!!!

Who is GOD???

The Vedas say Avangmanasagochara, which translated means, “You are beyond the comprehension of my mind and expression.”

From a theistic point of view, ‘God’ is pure ‘Spirit’, Infinite Intelligence, Divine Principle, the originating essence of all ‘being’ and ‘consciousness’.

‘God’ is ‘One’ and ‘All’, being omnipresent, so includes both ‘personal’ and ‘non-personal’ aspects of thought, energy and matter. Of course we can say more, according to various schools and their ‘terms’, but the ‘absolute’ itself is beyond description, name and form, and from the formless, all forms arise.

But most of us request things from God with good intentions; yes, the path to hell is also paved with “GOOD INTENTIONS”.

I hope my son gets above 80% in his entrance exam, then goes on to study medicine, and then moves on to a successful practise making pots and pots of money from sick people and of course what good is this all if he does not care for me when I am old.

You see how “good intentions” which drive us are not always good.

It is an egregious illusion, a myth, a mirage!!!

In fact in trying to get kids to do better in school, we are witnessing a time of utter ruin for them, with kids as small as five committing suicide. For some kids self harm has become a way of life, and all for unrealistic expectations from their parents and teachers. This is simply self delusion on our part; who else but ourselves are we deceiving???

Let’s scrutinize child education in the world today.

Small children lug huge bags to school, like some sort of beast of burden; it’s a miracle their backs don’t give up!

Then they arrive in school, where they are treated as cattle, children view one another with a competitive spirit which fosters resentment and hatred. They are taught from the beginning the policy of no-tolerance, nil respect and hatred, suspicion and xenophobia, be it deliberately or in a subtle context.

We are knowingly and unknowingly waging a war on our children!! Accept it and let’s move on.

I have bifurcated from the topic of prayer, but the subject of children and their position in society today really “grinds my nuts”, it takes me to the point when I just want to scream out at all the perpetrators and rip my hair off. Not a pretty picture I assure you!

So I have spoken of prayer and how it inadvertently leads to us asking, demanding and wanting things from God.

Now let us turn to meditation. When we meditate we are not looking to start a dialogue which will evidently become a monologue, but we are just looking at listening to what the Universe has to say and trust me it has a lot to say.

When we meditate, in the beginning, thoughts are endless; non-stop chattering makes it almost impossible to calm our minds, so how can we hope to listen to anything the Universe has to say.

Our minds will not shut up; the sounds drown our very being.

But we must persevere. Sit down to meditate every day at the same time. Sit facing the same direction and if possible sit on a cloth which will be your asana. Just sit still, if not in padmasana or siddhasana, and then sit quietly in any position comfortable. Sit in a chair if you cannot sit on the floor.

Let the thoughts assail you, let them come, watch them come, but do not welcome them, nor must you judge them. Let them come as people in a carnival, all dressed up, ready to play out their respective roles. Watch as you would a crowded street, but watch passively, do not judge, do not fall into the trap of associating yourself or disassociating from them.

They are not your friends, nor your foes, they are what they are- just thoughts, and thoughts come and go!!! They are not here to stay; it is their impermanence you study.

How one minute a solid thought enters your brain, let it soak there, let it fester, let it ferment in there.

Slowly you will realize that it too dissipates, the thought which was soaking, dries up, it begins to lose its shape, just like clouds in the sky, which take up various shapes, sometimes a goat, sometimes a falcon, sometimes they become the staircase to heaven. Look up at the sky and observe the clouds, and similarly log into your mind during meditation and watch your thoughts. Do you get angry or upset if the cloud takes a certain shape? Then why must your thoughts arouse such feeling?

During meditation keep remembering that thoughts are clouds, they take various shapes, they also disappear, and they sometimes bring rain- but that is their job, so sit back and watch.

Notice how you breathe, watch how you exhale, how you inhale! Observe this cycle- again and again!

So in doing this for days and months and finally years, you will see the Universe has started talking to you.

The great SILENCE is finally speaking to you!

The timeless quality in meditation is highly addictive. Yes meditation is highly addictive.

Prayer is externalized, meditation is internalized.

Meditation is looking in, prayer is seeking out.

While meditating you find the Godhead within, and while praying you seek to pay obeisance to God in some external form, be it Jesus, Allah or Shiva.

In meditation do you realize SHIVOHAM, no amount of Shiv-puja can show you that; yes, it can create a fertile ground to get into meditation, but it can never help you experience SHIVOHAM.

So will you choose to talk to the Universe, or will you choose to listen??

I have been meditating now for years, yet, I am just a novice. But sometimes, even if for a brief moment, my mind stills during dhyana and for a split second the Universe talks to me.

Yes I still pray, I do my Shiv puja and mantra chanting every day, but I do not ask for anything from the Godhead, except SARVAMANGALAM!

But my number one addiction remains meditation which changes our DNA, where I truly find truth, bliss and unadulterated peace, even if for a micro second.

I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is. 
~ A. W. Watts

 

 

 

Mahashivaratri 2014

Om Shivayo shantayo karanatrayo hetave,

Nivedayami chatmanag, tang gating Parameshwar,

Vishweshwarayo, nara karnava taranaya, gyan pradaya, karunamaya sagaraya,

Karpura dhavalendhu jatodharaye,

Daridre dukhya dahanaya,

Namah Shivaya, Nama Shivaya.

This Shivaratri has been like none other, I am a mother now, yes, a mother. My child has done something absolutely awesome; she has given birth to the mother who sits and types away. A new woman, an awakened woman, a poem composed of love!

Shivoham! Shivoham! Shivoham!

I am Shiva- sadchidananda- pure consciousness, unbridled bliss and absolute truth!

I have been toying with this idea forever, it seems like an eternity, yet, my punitive intellect cannot grasp it. Then again, it is not for the intellect to grasp, one must experience it for oneself. I have no way (it looks that way as of now) to get a cohesive understanding of this subject matter and intellectually analyzing it will not do it.

The mind is a futile tool indeed, it knows nothing. Thoughts like waves coming crashing on the mind-shore, these thoughts they crash and lose form. The idea held in them gets all merged with Nothingness. The mind is a loud cacophony of noises and one like me cannot hope to quieten it. Sadhana is the key and understanding the concept that this body is not me is the key. I can only mindlessly chant- SHIVOHAM!!!!

It’s not that repeating Shivoham does me no good.  According to Physiology, 125 million cells are regenerated every second and regularly chanting Shivoham aids in directing the turbulent mind to stillness, to quietude!!! The mind is pacified; it stops to ponder useless thoughts

ADI SHANKARACHARYA, in his interpretation of the name Shiva, interprets it to have multiple meanings: “The Pure One”, or “the One who is not affected by three Gunas of Prakrti (Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas)” or “the One who purifies everyone by the very utterance of His name. So no matter how clouded we are by ignorance, even if we feel that we are not adhyatmic or spiritual, still the mere utterance of this holy name will do the needful.

Shiva was always my favourite deity. My father told me that no matter who you were, what you did or had done, Shiva would accept you as his devotee. You just have to open your heart and seek him out,; one reason he is referred to as Bholenath or simple God.

The other Gods are selective and dismissive, very specific rituals and ablutions are required and I was never one for routine.  But, but, but I have been doing Shiv-puja now for years, since my childhood. My mother has shown me the way to perform the puja according to the parampara of Gyanganj, shown to her by her pujya Gurudeva Tunubaba who was the grandson of Paramhamsa Vishuddhananda.

As a child I was told all sorts of Pauranic stories; hours were spent contemplating these stupendous adventures, my imagination ran riot. Shiva forms the trinity of Hinduism with Vishnu and Bramha as the other two aspects. He is the destroyer, his dumaroo signals the end, also he is the patron deity of Arts and Yoga. As a writer, filmmaker, photographer he is the one I must anyway pay obeisance to, but trust me, the process has been effortless and organic. I have always loved Bholenath.

Shiva Linga is the symbol of Lord Shiva who is actually formless. He is Arupa, he is without definition and no words can describe him so we worship the lingam.

Shiva is the language of silence and if you pay heed, he speaks to you and in a profound state of awareness you realize that he is your in-dweller, your innermost self or ‘Atman,’ and who is identical with the supreme ‘Parabrahman.’

It was the story of the Amrit that absolutely fascinated me. Shiva in a totally new avatar! The episode of Dakshayagna infuriated me, how could all the Gods watch Shiva get insulted this way and then the dance of the Nataraj! Must confess, it did scare me to think of Shiva’s penultimate dance. No I did not understand that Shiva is the destroyer of time, his dance is a signal of Mahapralaya; the end of a cycle. Shiva, heralded the new.

On a personal note, Shiva has destroyed many an idea, some relationships, certain dreams from my life, yes, I know it is insignificant in the greater picture, but on very close inspection with a spiritual eye reveals- No, it is significant. I am not a mere drop in the ocean I am the ocean!! And every time he destroyed something, it pointed me to another direction. So destruction eventually led to creation and slowly, slowly my life took shape. At a point I was like a river, one bank had been destroyed, the other one crumbled too. The waters rushed out and took new shape, not defined again by two banks. Shiva crushed my whole life to create a new me and I am ever so grateful!

I am not a tiny atom, I am the Universe and Shiva is the Universe- he is everything!! I am everything- SHIVOHAM!!!

But, but, but….and the words just drain my consciousness, how can I grasp such infinitude??

It scares me; will I forever be this horse with blinkers, this frog in a well??

Will I ever experience Shivoham???

Now when I read the anecdotes on Shiva, I see a fathomless gamut of symbology, of buried inner meaning. Sanatan Dharma is to be taken literally only till a certain stage, once you look beyond the humanization that the rishis perpetrated on us, you begin to see a whole new world emerge, a world of truth, a world where every symbol begins to take on certain meaning. It is an amazing experience.

To know what Shiva is, to feel what Shiva is, to think like Shiva- is a very complex process.

It begins with renunciation- give up your ego, your self-identity. This body is not you, the house you live in is not your home, and you are an infinite being.

Science is now hinting that reality os holographic, so this 3D world of sensory experiences is not real. Some say, this Unity that Ancient cultures talk about is literal, they say that one person could be dreaming this whole darn thing up!

I would not disagree- that person is Ardhanarishwara- SHIVA AND SHAKTI- the two poles of duality, in a perpetual dance of creation!!!

We are just dreams in his mind, in her mind.

Do you know that the term SATYAM SHIVAM SUNDARAM is not really from our texts- the real words are SHANTAM SHIVAM ADWAITYAM, but Maharshi Devendranath Tagore(Rabindranath Tagore’s father) popularized them from a French Philosopher Cousin Victor who wrote Le uvai, Le beau, Le bien and ever since it has become a popular way to describe Lord Shiva.

However for many, an unclad picture of a half naked Zeenat Aman comes to mind and that simply goes on to show that this is ghor kalyug.

Anyway that does not take away the fact that Shiva is unalloyed joy, pristine beauty and very auspicious.

In fact, Shiva was worshipped prior to the Vedic period. Excavations at Mohenjodaro and Harappa show a deity, similar to Shiva, riding a bull. It is unmistakably Shiva.

Many Indus valley seals show animals. One seal that has attracted attention shows a figure, either horned or wearing a horned headdress and possibly ithyphallic figure seated in a posture reminiscent of the Lotus position and surrounded by animals was named by early excavators of Mohenjo-daroPashupati (lord of cattle), an epithet of the later Hindu gods Shiva and Rudra.

While speaking to the Sanskrit scholar, Mr. Kazanas, I discovered that the academic community definitely consider that deity to be a proto Shiva, although some scholars like Gavin Flood and John Keay think it is unfounded.

The worship of Shiva in the tantric form is age old and has continued in India, China, Nepal, Srilanka and Tibet for centuries. Areas notable for the practice of Shaivism include parts of Southeast Asia, especially Malaysia, Singapore, and Indonesia.

Shiva has existed from the time that time existed, from the very beginning of it all. Shaivism (Sanskrit: शैव पंथ, śaiva paṁtha) (Tamil: சைவ சமயம்) is the oldest of the four major sects of Hinduism, the others being Vaishnavism, Shaktism and Smartism.

Another controversial fact I have discovered from my research is that the stone at Mecca, called the Kaba is actually a Shiva Lingam.

If you read the life story of Baba Loknath, you will see that during the 19^th and 20^th century Sadhus and Yogis would regularly visit the Kaba and pray there, why??? Because it is a Shiv Ling. Which is why the Sultan pours milk on that stone and prays, devotees circumambulate it, just like we perform pradakshina in temples. This has popped up in so many stories. This subject deserves a whole article and I will try to work on it.

All of divinity is Shiva. If you read Norse mythology, you will see the parallels between Odin and Shiva. He is everywhere, yet, nowhere!!!

The hearts of the devotees are black, they are in abject poverty, a kind of spiritual limbo, a materialistic plague overwhelms us. So how will Shiva find his way into our hearts???

Shivoham, Shivoham…..

Remember, Shiva is very forgiving. Just call out for his guidance and you will feel him in your life. It is simply that easy. Keep saying Shivoham and you will get calm, peaceful and things will appear in a new light, you will gain a different perspective.

So let’s gather today in unison and shout out to the world, let the Universe hear us, let Shiva hear us- SHIVOHAM.

I AM NOT A COMMODITY, I AM NOT A THING TO BE USED AND ABUSED, I AM NOT PROPERTY, I AM A HUMAN, I AM WHAT I AM – PURE BLISS, PEACE AND CONSCIOUSNESS- I AM SHIVA….

SHIVOHAM!!!!

Mahashivaratri 2014

 

Om Shivayo shantayo karanatrayo hetave,

Nivedayami chatmanag, tang gating Parameshwar,

Vishweshwarayo, nara karnava taranaya, gyan pradaya, karunamaya sagaraya,

Karpura dhavalendhu jatodharaye,

Daridre dukhya dahanaya,

Namah Shivaya, Nama Shivaya.

This Shivaratri has been like none other, I am a mother now, yes, a mother. My child has done something absolutely awesome; she has given birth to the mother who sits and types away. A new woman, an awakened woman, a poem composed of love!

Shivoham! Shivoham! Shivoham!

I am Shiva- sadchidananda- pure consciousness, unbridled bliss and absolute truth!

I have been toying with this idea forever, it seems like an eternity, yet, my punitive intellect cannot grasp it. Then again, it is not for the intellect to grasp, one must experience it for oneself. I have no way (it looks that way as of now) to get a cohesive understanding of this subject matter and intellectually analyzing it will not do it.

The mind is a futile tool indeed, it knows nothing. Thoughts like waves coming crashing on the mind-shore, these thoughts they crash and lose form. The idea held in them gets all merged with Nothingness. The mind is a loud cacophony of noises and one like me cannot hope to quieten it. Sadhana is the key and understanding the concept that this body is not me is the key. I can only mindlessly chant- SHIVOHAM!!!!

It’s not that repeating Shivoham does me no good.  According to Physiology, 125 million cells are regenerated every second and regularly chanting Shivoham aids in directing the turbulent mind to stillness, to quietude!!! The mind is pacified; it stops to ponder useless thoughts

ADI SHANKARACHARYA, in his interpretation of the name Shiva, interprets it to have multiple meanings: “The Pure One”, or “the One who is not affected by three Gunas of Prakrti (Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas)” or “the One who purifies everyone by the very utterance of His name. So no matter how clouded we are by ignorance, even if we feel that we are not adhyatmic or spiritual, still the mere utterance of this holy name will do the needful.

Shiva was always my favourite deity. My father told me that no matter who you were, what you did or had done, Shiva would accept you as his devotee. You just have to open your heart and seek him out,; one reason he is referred to as Bholenath or simple God.

The other Gods are selective and dismissive, very specific rituals and ablutions are required and I was never one for routine.  But, but, but I have been doing Shiv-puja now for years, since my childhood. My mother has shown me the way to perform the puja according to the parampara of Gyanganj, shown to her by her pujya Gurudeva Tunubaba who was the grandson of Paramhamsa Vishuddhananda.

As a child I was told all sorts of Pauranic stories; hours were spent contemplating these stupendous adventures, my imagination ran riot. Shiva forms the trinity of Hinduism with Vishnu and Bramha as the other two aspects. He is the destroyer, his dumaroo signals the end, also he is the patron deity of Arts and Yoga. As a writer, filmmaker, photographer he is the one I must anyway pay obeisance to, but trust me, the process has been effortless and organic. I have always loved Bholenath.

Shiva Linga is the symbol of Lord Shiva who is actually formless. He is Arupa, he is without definition and no words can describe him so we worship the lingam.

Shiva is the language of silence and if you pay heed, he speaks to you and in a profound state of awareness you realize that he is your in-dweller, your innermost self or ‘Atman,’ and who is identical with the supreme ‘Parabrahman.’

It was the story of the Amrit that absolutely fascinated me. Shiva in a totally new avatar! The episode of Dakshayagna infuriated me, how could all the Gods watch Shiva get insulted this way and then the dance of the Nataraj! Must confess, it did scare me to think of Shiva’s penultimate dance. No I did not understand that Shiva is the destroyer of time, his dance is a signal of Mahapralaya; the end of a cycle. Shiva, heralded the new.

On a personal note, Shiva has destroyed many an idea, some relationships, certain dreams from my life, yes, I know it is insignificant in the greater picture, but on very close inspection with a spiritual eye reveals- No, it is significant. I am not a mere drop in the ocean I am the ocean!! And every time he destroyed something, it pointed me to another direction. So destruction eventually led to creation and slowly, slowly my life took shape. At a point I was like a river, one bank had been destroyed, the other one crumbled too. The waters rushed out and took new shape, not defined again by two banks. Shiva crushed my whole life to create a new me and I am ever so grateful!

I am not a tiny atom, I am the Universe and Shiva is the Universe- he is everything!! I am everything- SHIVOHAM!!!

But, but, but….and the words just drain my consciousness, how can I grasp such infinitude??

It scares me; will I forever be this horse with blinkers, this frog in a well??

Will I ever experience Shivoham???

Now when I read the anecdotes on Shiva, I see a fathomless gamut of symbology, of buried inner meaning. Sanatan Dharma is to be taken literally only till a certain stage, once you look beyond the humanization that the rishis perpetrated on us, you begin to see a whole new world emerge, a world of truth, a world where every symbol begins to take on certain meaning. It is an amazing experience.

To know what Shiva is, to feel what Shiva is, to think like Shiva- is a very complex process.

It begins with renunciation- give up your ego, your self-identity. This body is not you, the house you live in is not your home, and you are an infinite being.

Science is now hinting that reality os holographic, so this 3D world of sensory experiences is not real. Some say, this Unity that Ancient cultures talk about is literal, they say that one person could be dreaming this whole darn thing up!

I would not disagree- that person is Ardhanarishwara- SHIVA AND SHAKTI- the two poles of duality, in a perpetual dance of creation!!!

We are just dreams in his mind, in her mind.

Do you know that the term SATYAM SHIVAM SUNDARAM is not really from our texts- the real words are SHANTAM SHIVAM ADWAITYAM, but Maharshi Devendranath Tagore(Rabindranath Tagore’s father) popularized them from a French Philosopher Cousin Victor who wrote Le uvai, Le beau, Le bien and ever since it has become a popular way to describe Lord Shiva.

However for many, an unclad picture of a half naked Zeenat Aman comes to mind and that simply goes on to show that this is ghor kalyug.

Anyway that does not take away the fact that Shiva is unalloyed joy, pristine beauty and very auspicious.

In fact, Shiva was worshipped prior to the Vedic period. Excavations at Mohenjodaro and Harappa show a deity, similar to Shiva, riding a bull. It is unmistakably Shiva.

Many Indus valley seals show animals. One seal that has attracted attention shows a figure, either horned or wearing a horned headdress and possibly ithyphallic figure seated in a posture reminiscent of the Lotus position and surrounded by animals was named by early excavators of Mohenjo-daroPashupati (lord of cattle), an epithet of the later Hindu gods Shiva and Rudra.

While speaking to the Sanskrit scholar, Mr. Kazanas, I discovered that the academic community definitely consider that deity to be a proto Shiva, although some scholars like Gavin Flood and John Keay think it is unfounded.

The worship of Shiva in the tantric form is age old and has continued in India, China, Nepal, Srilanka and Tibet for centuries. Areas notable for the practice of Shaivism include parts of Southeast Asia, especially Malaysia, Singapore, and Indonesia.

Shiva has existed from the time that time existed, from the very beginning of it all. Shaivism (Sanskrit: शैव पंथ, śaiva paṁtha) (Tamil: சைவ சமயம்) is the oldest of the four major sects of Hinduism, the others being Vaishnavism, Shaktism and Smartism.

Another controversial fact I have discovered from my research is that the stone at Mecca, called the Kaba is actually a Shiva Lingam.

If you read the life story of Baba Loknath, you will see that during the 19^th and 20^th century Sadhus and Yogis would regularly visit the Kaba and pray there, why??? Because it is a Shiv Ling. Which is why the Sultan pours milk on that stone and prays, devotees circumambulate it, just like we perform pradakshina in temples. This has popped up in so many stories. This subject deserves a whole article and I will try to work on it.

All of divinity is Shiva. If you read Norse mythology, you will see the parallels between Odin and Shiva. He is everywhere, yet, nowhere!!!

The hearts of the devotees are black, they are in abject poverty, a kind of spiritual limbo, a materialistic plague overwhelms us. So how will Shiva find his way into our hearts???

Shivoham, Shivoham…..

Remember, Shiva is very forgiving. Just call out for his guidance and you will feel him in your life. It is simply that easy. Keep saying Shivoham and you will get calm, peaceful and things will appear in a new light, you will gain a different perspective.

So let’s gather today in unison and shout out to the world, let the Universe hear us, let Shiva hear us- SHIVOHAM.

I AM NOT A COMMODITY, I AM NOT A THING TO BE USED AND ABUSED, I AM NOT PROPERTY, I AM A HUMAN, I AM WHAT I AM – PURE BLISS, PEACE AND CONSCIOUSNESS- I AM SHIVA….

SHIVOHAM!!!!

 

Dattatreya and the sacred Sahyadris

The powerful and intense vibrations of the Western Ghats has always mesmerised me, since I took my first trip from Bombay to Pune a few years ago. Nestled in the lap of the Sahyadri mountain range, lies the twin cities of Khandala and Lonavla. Like the usual routine of a tourist I did my bit of buying Chiki and fudge from Lonavala, little did I know that this would be my home in a few years and herein you get the best chocolate fudge in the whole wide world. Now looking back at that day, it seems to me that there was a premonition, a little thought flying through my brain, a little sigh escaped my lips to see the sheer beauty of this landscape surrounded by the majestic Sahyadri.

I am crazy for mountains. As a child my father would ask me, “What do you prefer, the sea or the mountains?” I never faltered, no matter how much the caress of the waves lured me, the silent solitude of the mountain inescapably sounded a chord in my heart and in my being which I could not ignore.

No the mountains it had to be. My father smiled, I think the mountains may also be his favourite, he seems that type of a man.

So after the crazy lifestyle of Bombay, I escape to Khandala! I love Bombay, make no mistake about that. I found Myself in that city. I stared at the abyss, the abyss stared back, as promised! I returned to civilization a changed person.

I found the man I love in Bombay, I found my interests in that city. Being rocked to death in the buses or being squeezed like a lemon in the locals, all in all it was a tremendous time of learning and developing. I did my best to adapt as I moved around, whether as an Instructor of Drama for children for Rael Padamsee, or to work as Concept Developer in Miditech in Sakinaka(at that time I was living in Colaba)!

Walking on Marine Drive, seeing the tempestuous sea, I felt strangely at home. I have seen the sea in many places, but never have I seen such bipolar behaviour as the sea face in Bombay.

One day the sea will be all bright, the skies all blue, the Sun is up, that very afternoon, thunder, lighting and rain clouds will gather- the sky will be a slate grey or pitch black, the rain thunders down, but only for a brief moment. You run helter skelter to guard against it(especially people like me who do not carry umbrellas), but then as suddenly as it came, the rain stops. The sky is clear again, I step out into the wet road, the only proof that it did in fact rain and I did not imagine it and I look up. No clouds, none at all! Just clear blue skies!

The Bombay sea and the Bombay skies are bipolar!

Aghori Vimalananda, the Guru of Author Robert Svoboda, had said that Bombay is cursed, the very islands are CURSED, its water is CURSED, the food is cursed! I read all three books hoping some proof will be provided in support of this statement, but found no more elaboration. But something rings true to my ears- Bombay has a curse, what it is, I do not know! I seek to discover more on this, so if I do, I will keep you posted, as of now, nothing else can be said.

I may in fact have managed to escape this curse. I have been allowed to leave Bombay. I live about a couple of hours away, in this once-quaint hill-station, now destroyed by construction sites, but still it is nothing like the vast abyss of Bombay. It is still small, still quiet and the villages still drink country liquor and pass out by 9.30. Everything is quiet from about 7 in the evening. For us nightbirds from Bombay, it is perfect!

We can go out investigating, we can identify interesting spots, watch the stars above and breathe the clean, oxygenated air. Yes for once the skies are clean, not over cloudy like Bombay. You can actually see the familiar celestial objects.

We climb to the top of hillocks and listen to the sounds of the night. It’s a meditation- I see the sounds come to life, yes, the sounds of the night become entities that take on an anthropomorphized Persona. My imagination begins to run rampant.

Did I tell you that I always got in trouble at school because of my imagination! My parents had to hear the same thing- She has a very vivid imagination and it was implied to be pejorative. Little did my teachers know that this imagination will come in handy when you gaze at the stars in the sky and visualize the sounds of the Night coming to life lying in the bosom of the wild Sahyadri mountain range.

The air emanates different smells which take me back to different stored memories in the hard-disk of my mind! Sometimes when I walk on the dew at dawn, I am transported to my childhood standing in front of my grandfather, two dogs- one black and one white with reddish patches were running near me and I was smiling. My grandfather, holding his ears does situps as punishment from me, for not being able to answer some silly question of mine, which I presume, he purposely did not answer to as he knew how important it made me feel to punish him. It was just a shift of power I enjoyed. Yes human is indeed motivated by will to power unless they have ascertained the Higher Truths. Don’t judge me as a sadist, let’s move on!

So yes Khandala bathed in mist is a little magical kingdom. It is my home and place of rest. It resonates with very sacred vibrations- of Bhagawan Dattatreya, Sant Tukaram and Maharaj Swami Samarth.

I share my home with many cats and a dog, so I do not fail to pay obeisance to Lord Dattatreya whose home is the Sahyadri, just like mine. Growing up in Bengal I did not know Lord Datta. His presence is stronger this side of the country. I love him and I love the mountains that surround me.

When I return from Bombay, the sight of the silent, dependable Sahyadri fills my being with peace, bliss and tranquillity. I just want to run into the darkness and lose myself, my ego, my personality, the masks I wear, my entire being! I want to rediscover my true identity and the Sahyadri helps me, a little every day.

His Birthday

Hey Gandhababa, today is your birth anniversary,

I have so much to say,

But words fail me.

I delude myself on my so-called word mastery,

But in actuality, all I have today is tears.

Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of pain,

Every single emotion I experience, cascades down my eyes,

They express themselves like the Ganges which flows impetuously,

Shiva’s jata is her home, my heart is the home of my tears.

Today I stand before you, my Shiva, my Deva, my Gurudeva,

I stand bereft, naked and destitute,

I stand like a beggar on the street, filthy, abject and desperate.

My source of sustenance is the warmth of your eyes.

Your piercing eyes, they play with me.

Sometimes you seem angry, rudra-rupi,

Sometimes you are the very picture of motherly love,

Sometimes you guide me to a better understanding of this life,

Sometimes you are just the epitome of shanti, of shakti.

I know about your deva-tulya siddhis,

I know you are super-man,

But to me you are my mother, my father, my friend and my child.

To me you are the light in the lamp of my life,

To me you are the meaning behind my activities,

To me you are the smile in the lips of my child.

You are an atom, you are the Universe.

You are my breath, you are my eyes,

You see through me, things I understand and things I have no clue of.

You are the Sun, the essence behind the bright orb visible in the sky.

You make it possible for me to exist, for all life to exist.

You are Bramha, Vishnu, Maheswara.

You create, you preserve, and you destroy.

You dance the tandava, the dumroo in your hands.

I hear your dumaroo in the thunder,

I hear your laughter in silence.

I can see you sitting atop Mount Kailash,

I can see you as Shiva, my Ishtadeva,

I know of how your body smelled of the lotus,

I know how you had the divine lotus positioned in your navi.

I imagine your smell; it is the most beautiful smell,

I know, I am doing an appalling task of explaining it,

How can I explain a scent?

How do you explain salty to one who has never tasted salt?

How can you describe the raw beauty of a sunset to one who is blind?

You scent is hard-wired in my system,

Not only for this life, where I have not met you,

Not in this time when you had taken mahasamadhi before I was born,

But I speak of a time when you and me, we were together,

We were together in the fabric of time and space!

We are entangled to the very quantum level,

You are the rhythm of my breath.

You are the light of my eyes.

You are the sound of the anahata nada which rings eternally in my soul.

You are indestructible,

You are forever existent.

There is no beginning to you and there is no end.

You heavenly glow pervades each Sunrise,

The golden rays of the Sun are made of your essence.

You are the father of Akhanda Mahayoga.

You are the soul of the Navamundi Mahasana.

For the welfare of mankind, to awaken us slumbering lot,

You dealt with the wrath of the Mahayogis of Gyanganj,

Humanity is not ready for such gifts, they said.

But your compassion was greater than any reason,

Your love for us was like a mother’s,

You shouldered the responsibility of giving us such divine gifts.

And look what we did with it?

Look what has become of all you gave selflessly.

You would draw diseases from your disciples,

Such was your love, such was your commitment.

You would rather suffer than let any of your children suffer.

You are the very epitome of motherhood, of self dedication to your young.

Parabrahm in a nutshell is you,

The abstract has concretized itself in you,

You may have two hands, two eyes and a physical body like us,

But you are nothing like us,

You are God, you are pure consciousness.

So how are we to understand you in this dense level?

We can never understand your greatness,

Or who you really are.

How can an ant ever grasp the greatness of poetry?

Or how can a koyi fish understand philosophy?

We will never realize who you truly are.

The only thing we can do is love you.

We can fill our hearts, our minds and our souls with mad love for you.

Like Meerabai felt for her Lord.

We can love you like the desert loves rain.

We can love you like a hungry man loves a morsel of food after weeks of starvation,

We can love you like a soldier loves peace after spending years on the battlefield.

Your essence is indivisible, akhanda,

Your thoughts can create Universes and the blink of your eyelids can destroy them.

You are the true Sadguru, you are the true Ishta,

You are everything,

You are me, you are me, and you are me,

Joy Guru.

 

 

12/12/2012

This is an interesting day- the last repetitive date we will ever see. The next such repetitive date will only occur on January 1, 2101, when the date will be 01/01/01. That’s a good 88 years away!!

So I am pretty sure I will not be around for that day. An astrologer told me that I will live a healthy and interesting life which will last only four more decades, give or take.

My husband was deeply upset and like an eccentric Billionaire he told, “We’ve got to figure out how to keep you around.” He firmly believes he will die in his 90’s. With enhanced technological advancements I am sure human life can be lengthened.

But honestly, I have no problem. Four decades of writing, making films, going for long walks to the Sahyadri, watching exotic, rare birds, working in conservation, loving my husband and my furry babies is good enough for me. It will be a life well lived if I can manage to just exist and pursue my interests which bring me happiness.

I have understood one thing- flow like water. In fact now I expect nothing, not good, not bad. I am not an avid follower of Murphy’s Law, neither am I expecting great rewards and accolades. I just want to BE.

I do not wish to consciously observe my life anymore, like the wave. It floats around and is present in all places, in all time. I desire not to be like the particle and have a fixed point. You may argue that I am a fixed point, but then am I?

Sometimes I muse to myself- who am I? What is the proof that I exist?

The ego spurts out so many premises to logically argue of my ontological state. I hear it, the ego. It conveys to me an image of what I think I look like, what I behave like, what my values are. That, it tells me, constitutes my character, my identity- ME.

But sometimes I feel my flesh, it begins to feel viscous- solid becomes non-solid. It’s the state of being a wave, of flowing, of not assigning a fixed point of existence. I have been told that I think of bizarre things, but then again I could never stop cogitating.

I think of gaseous thoughts, which disappear as soon as they bear form. They are not dependable. Thoughts are like waves, crashing down the shore of my mind.

I always wished for thoughts to be more concrete. With my dense state of perception, concretization has its own charm and abstraction alarmingly raises the hair on my neck. How do you perceive the abstract. Charm or no charm, concrete must work. But nothing takes the permanency of concretization! Nothing is ever concrete!

Abstraction makes itself my friend, my foe, a challenge! ABSTRACT! I have found that my life is random and abstract, ABSTRACT!

I stopped running from the unfamiliar world of abstractions. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at it right in the eye. If I was a realized individual I may have seen much more than what my limited consciousness experienced.

Brahman, Sunyata, Ain-Soph- all are abstractions. Can our finite minds grasp infinity? I feel something deep when I watch Youtube videos of deep space that Hubble has taken. It thrills me. Space the mother of all abstractions. Space is Kali, my Ishtadevi. I have given that deep abstraction a form, a name, I have gone ahead and anthropomorphized the abstract. I have made her particle. I am the observer, she is the observed.

Yes she is all over the place, yet confined in my heart. How do you bring yourself to grasp that an atom is 99.999999999999% empty?

What happened there? Sunyata- emptiness, the VOID from where ALL springs.

So our bodies and everything around us, it’s all DARKNESS, EMPTINESS, VOIDNESS. Yet, we are petrified of the dark.

Darkness and silence is our first nature, our most primordial form of being; which is why Kali is black.

So as 12/12/12 is already here, we must understand Voidness, stillness and silence. Being and Nothingness!

Some say the world will end, but the Christian world runs on such an eschatological understanding- it’s all about the Armageddon, but what about Karmageddon?

The world will not end, but a new era will begin, of deeper resonance with spiritual energy.

I see every day in social networking sites that a huge number of people are trying to explore Compassion and ONE IS ALL concept. They may think they are a part of a Galactic Federation, some may be from Sirius, some Pleidians, Theosophists, Freemasons, Advaitis, Tantrics it does not matter.

You may be a rainbow warrior, an indigo kid, an E.T, it does not matter. You may be an average human like me, still 12/12/12 is not just a date, it’s a switch, once its flicked open you may experience a journey to your third eye. So awaken to this possibility.

Let’s dance with the Sun-rays, swim with the wind and hug the Earth- its time to rejoice 12/12/12 is here.

NON-EGO, VOID AND DARKNESS

Non-ego, void and darkness,

Each one perfect and each self existent.

Yet non-ego must awaken from its deep slumber,

To question Who am I?

This is the birth of ego,

Not necessarily of tragedy.

From this questioning of one’s identity,

Is born likings and aversions,

And a sense of I-ness.

I am this body,

This is my family,

And my possessions,

Funnily it is through this very question,

WHO AM I?

That our very true identity is revealed.

It’s all a necessity really.

The void is perfect,

Yet, there is Matter,

Luminous, celestial objects

Of such magnitude and grandeur

That it adorns the void.

Can the void be perceived?

No it needs the effulgence to be known.

How else will the void communicate with us?

How else will it be translatable for our feeble minds?

We can never grasp this cloak of voidness,

As nothing in its purest essence can exist

In our mind’s eye tainted.

Yet, there is a craving, a yearning in our depths,

For something pure- beauty, truth.

Do we have any place in this cosmic pantomime?

In the improvisation of the real reality?

Maybe we’re here to witness the glory unfold before us?

The essence of darkness is absolute light.

It’s the state of absolute rest.

Dark is the womb,

Dark is the state of anything in creation,

Tranquillity, nothingness, Sunyata, emptiness, the dark beings.

Dark is a soothing potion for our minds,

But light must appear in it,

Just like a flower which must die to become a fruit.

Darkness must obliterate itself to be born as light.

Abstract space is dark and aye, is not its beauty inexplicable?

My Kali is black, the very epitome of the dark.