An abject Poet’s Love Song

This is from a series of more than a hundred love poems and songs I have composed. It is dedicated to SOMEONE IN SOME MULTIVERSE. So if you are reading…you know what to do…

 

Can you step out of the image I hold of you in my heart?

Stand and face me.

Separate from me.

If you do not, how will I know you exist?

How will I know I exist?

How will I know that your existence is separate from me.

Not a myth of my mind.

If you remain frozen as an image,

How will I hold you in flesh and bones?

How will I feel the taste of your lips?

 

Can you step put of the sonnet I compose in vain?

Show me you exist without my words.

You do not just appear in my words, as a figment of my imagination, do you?

If you remain hidden in the words I write,

Then how will I know this love, this insanity is real?

How will I be sure that my heart writes not in vain?

How will I know that my words do not define you?

And you breathe and sleep, just like any mortal.

If you remain as ideas,

How will I ever concretise your actuality?

 

Can you separate from the tune that plays in my soul?

Without you, the whole tune falls apart.

For you are that one note that glues my composition together.

Without you the tune will make no sense,

But I will know of your existence.

I will know you are the rhythm of the soil my heart,

The frequency that transcends space and time.

Your separation will convince me how important you are in this equation of spiritual truths.

Your disconnection will kill the music of the spheres of my soul.

The harmonic resonance destroyed.

 

But in all calamity,

I will know you exist.

There will be no colour in my canvas.

No words in my vocabulary to pen my love for you,

And no tunes to pulsate the depths of my being.

But I will know that in separation you exist.

 

Do not listen to the ravings of a lunatic poet,

Listen not to the words I sing,

Ignore the pain in my words.

For what do you care about an abject poet’s love song?

 

 

 

 

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Today I let go…

Today I let go…

I let go of your eyes..

Today I let go…

I let go of your smile.

For those eyes never twinkled for me.

For that smile never flashed for me.

Today I let go…

I let go of the unrealistic expectations I have carried for so long.

Today I let go…

I let go of ever hearing your voice call my name.

Today I let go…

I let go of the futility of my emotions…

Today I let go…

I let go of the craving in my heart for you…

Today I let go…

I let go of the impossible connection I thought we had.

 

We never spoke.

But I know we exchanged a million looks.

We never touched.

But I know exactly how your skin would feel.

We never even met.

But I know from the moment I saw you that you are the ONE for me.

 

This is ridiculous.

This feeling of such abstract love.

A love that never was and never will be.

I thought we had a chance.

But we don’t.

Is it because I held onto the notion of you for so long?

 

Which is why…

Today I let go…

I let go of everything…

 

Tell me…

Is it possible to love someone without ever meeting them?

Is it possible to feel so deeply for a stranger?

For someone with whom you have not even exchanged a greeting?

Is it possible to have such strong love for someone you might have seen in the crowd?

 

I remember the way you looked at me,

That one time in my dreamworld,

When you and me drowned in colours of red.

Embraced each other.

It was just a dream.

It was a moment of retrocausality.

I know you are my future which is why I held onto the past so vehemently.

 

I know that we are one,

Never separated.

Which is why today I let go…

I let go of wanting to be with you,

Because you are and will be, forever with me.

 

tina@tinaheals.com

Twinflame Love~~ <3

HDF

Not a moment longer can I wait,

It’s already so late.

Will you not say what is burning your lips?

Will you not reveal your heart?

It’s tearing me apart.

How long will you let silence envelope your being?

This 3D world is all about ageing and dying.

How long will your torture continue?

Is there no other avenue?

For expressing your love?

Yes, it is you my Beloved,

If you do not know it so.

It is you for whom my body burns,

My mind imagines and my soul reincarnates.

Dissolve this dualism.

Return to me, my Beloved.

Not a moment longer can I wait.

You are the ONENESS of existence,

You are the separation of sky and water,

You are the rhythm of the pulsating stars,

Vortexes do you create with your breath.

Universes reside in your pores my Beloved.

In every way you are what I created.

In the canvas of my mind.

Like a tornado did you come into my life.

Ripping away every shard of sanity.

Insane have I become.

For you, for your love and for union.

Every stab of pain that I have ever felt.

It was you my beloved.

For how would I know you,

If I did not know pain.

You are my first rays of the Sun,

You are the pale kiss of the Moon,

You are the dream of a perfect imperfection!

Where is the peace that I long for?

Where is the Silence I seek?

The quest of looking for you,

Through aeons of time and space.

Is there no grace?

Tired am I.

 

Enter into me and reside there now my Beloved.

I know I have found God.

No more residing in the eye of insanity.

That time when we kissed.

Those tears kept flowing through our eyes.

They flooded our souls.

Uncontrollable were the emotions.

In the mind’s oceans.

This birth I have looked for you,

and in the life before,

And I will keep looking even after.

Thirsty and hungry am I now my Beloved.

Our love story will remain hidden,

In the secret scrolls of humanity.

Let us circle around the sacred tree.

In silent ceremony of our union.

Humanity is not ready to love like this.

Not yet.

My Beloved, all this is just a dream.

Wake up now and come to me.

The rain flows from the sky and tears from my eyes.

For this cycle of birth I have waited.

Waited for your embrace.

Every single day I sit in worship.

I look into the eyes of Shiva and all I see,

Are your eyes dancing back.

I sit atop the mountain

The wind shoves me to the floor,

Like it is you.

My body tingles and my heart sings.

It scares me to think that we might be simulations.

A forgotten project in some far away World.

My Beloved, you and me might not exist in reality.

It’s as if I feel a panic attack.

But no, says an inner voice.

Everything is as real or as unreal,

As experiences.

Reality is experience.

It exists cause we view it.

We have subscribed to this show.

Whether we like it or not.

But it’s not too late to unsubscribe.

We can create our own story.

I don’t care if you are real or unreal.

For what is real?

You might be as unreal as the Universe itself.

But does that make my  love any less real?

This is our time to play together.

For soon our worlds will collide.

Our energy fields fused in one.

Do you feel it like I do?

 

 

 

 

The Song of Remembrance~ Twinflame Awakening

Is it immortality I seek?

I dare not make such demands.

For what if I have to be without you?

There is no meaning in the meaninglessness of life.

Without you.

You ignite the fire of my soul.

And wild passions in my body.

Life itself is a mockery.

A moment equals to numerous lifetimes.

Have you forgotten everything?

All those smiles and tears.

Those tears in smiles and those smiles in tears.

In all those Universes and dimensions?

Do you not remember how my tears flow every time I kiss you?

Do you not feel my pain?

All those lives we lived.

In each other’s embrace.

You have forgotten every single thing.

From every single lifetime.

And I am cursed with remembrance.

It is my curse to burn in the fires of anguish.

To yearn to be one with you.

Here I am Beloved.

To sing about those days.

I will find you, you will see.

Life moves on.

Do you remember the last time you died in my arms?

For it has happened many, many times.

Watching life leave you, my beloved.

I have died a million deaths.

But what is life?

What is death?

Energy never dies.

It is indestructible.

Do you at least remember the times I died in your arms?

Do you feel any of that intensity?

We return time and again.

On this Earth,

For the vow of love.

Do you not remember your multiple lives?

Nirvana eludes us my beloved.

Because all we want is each other.

And we are willing to be born again and again.

I have wanted you and you me,

For eternity.

We have loved and been together through unending time.

How many more times will we incarnate?

To carry on with this vicious cycle?

To just love each other?

This vibration pulls us here.

To be born in flesh.

As man and woman.

To touch each other and make love.

In Mesopotemia.

In Egypt.

In the Indus Valley.

In Babylon.

I have always been looking for you.

And you for me.

Do you remember?

How we were separated in the Tower of Babylon?

When we began to speak different languages?

Did you understand the language of my eyes?

For words mean nothing.

My beloved, I look for you in the stars above.

In the myths, legends and fairytales of mankind.

In the eternal love stories of humanity.

That first initiation.

On the banks of the Ganges.

The Buddha initiated us.

We were both together my beloved.

As we embraced the eternal Dharma.

That sunrise in Bodhgaya.

That mantra still rings in my ears.

Have you forgotten it?

Us, side by side, holding hands.

Surrendering to the Universe.

Your shaven head.

Your teary eyes.

I know those eyes.

Do all these memories not reside in you?

I remember it all, my beloved.

Our revolution and love.

You and me.

Through space and time.

Wash away the debris from your heart.

Feel our deep connection.

That nothing can erase.

I remind you my love,

You will keep coming back and so will I.

Till we do not join in sacred union.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Wolf Goddess~~

What a sight you are!

A true Goddess of your own creation.

The holy red gushes down your legs.

You stand naked, bare breasted.

The defiance in your eyes.

The slight smile on your lips.

They magnetic sway of your hips.

They ridicule you and laugh at you.

Your raw power scares them.

You know how to CONNECT.

You know how to join together.

You are a natural leader.

And that scares them.

They call you a sinner.

Never will you be a saint.

Even if you have fed the last morsel to them.

They have burnt you over and over.

But from those ashes have you arisen…

Again and again.

With different names.

In different countries and cultures.

The guilt they have bred in us,

Is not to be found in you.

The palpable fear is also absent.

For you seek no validation from them.

You don’t care to play by their rules.

Holiness in every ounce of your blood.

Every Goddess of every culture,

They reside in your body.

You are holy, the Creatrix!

You are not afraid of pleasure.

You know what to do with pain.

You are here to liberate other sisters.

You are not looking for personal gain.

Never have you controlled the urges,

That women have been taught to do.

Instead you have transmuted them into alchemy.

You have transformed them into divine inspiration.

You have ignited the fires of passion.

And made magic with the man you held.

For a God he was when you made love to him.

You are his Goddess.

You are  our Goddess.

Your mission is to tell the others.

To activate the powers of the Womb.

This FEM-FORCE will steer us into a new awareness.

Let them worship the sacred blood of your menstruation.

For that is the only atonement from their end.

To have defiled and demonised the sacred life force of the menstrual blood.

They say you are a whore.

What does it matter if you are Madonna or a whore?

They have raped, pillaged and tortured,

The mother, maiden and the crone.

No one is safe.

They will find the Wild Ones.

Silenced they must be.

But how can they be shut for life?

In their voices is the fem-force of life and death.

We will be told we are evil.

We will be told our magick is for the devil.

The Devil is but Lucifer, the bringer of Truth.

The apple is the process of initiation.

It is you, yes you as Eve,

Who initiated Adam.

It is you Sita, who burned Rama’s sins,

In the fire of your sacrifice.

Wild Woman you will make us eat time and again,

From that sweet apple of knowledge and passion.

Run like a She-wolf and howl at the moon.

You are the Matriarch, the very crux of civilisation.

Tonight under the Full Moon, you will rub the damp earth on your body.

And make love to the Earth.

She is as wild as you are.

Soul lovers through infinities.

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Image by Alexandra Banti

 

Twinflame Reverie

Where did you go?

I finally let my control go!

Where did you disappear?

I know not.

For my memories have dissolved.

They have dissipated from my mind.

Like clouds in the bright blue sky.

The resonance is an initiation.

To a new birth.

The ray will return to the Source.

The rain will melt into the sea.

Where did your form vanish?

Your solid 3D physical body.

It is like you never existed!

I am aware of your origin.

You are of 5D light- activate it.

That memory of us in union.

Like the frozen Tundra of my mind.

That memory of oneness.

Nothing can take that away.

You were buried in the womb.

My companion as you held my hand.

There through the Great Void we journeyed.

Falling down to 3D denseness.

Where our physical forms took shape.

I touched you and you touched me.

So different were we.

As we touched each other.

Beloved we have been lovers.

Forever in the darkness.

But our love is not of flesh and blood.

So how can we hold each other?

How can we join in passionate copulation?

How can our hearts bleed?

The ray has solidified into form.

I has divided and is now you and me.

We are individuals.

We are One Ray.

Our love has now felt itself take shape.

Our love has loved in a new way.

It has fallen in love with itself.

Can love fall in love with itself?

Can spirit fall to matter?

Can Ardhanarishwara become male female polarities?

For are you not my Twinflame?

For are you not light consciousness?

You and me in 5D.

Have we not birthed a new love story?

Where we feel every emotion.

Where every feeling is intensified.

Have we not experienced something.

We never could.

As we slumbered in the Great Voidness.

Twin_Flame___Balancer_by_zeldaconnetion

 

 

Aries New Moon~27/28th March 2017: Burn baby burn!

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“She’s mad, but she’s magic. There’s no lie in her fire.” ~ Charles Bukowski

The fire that is madness and magic, the fire of creativity in us, the fire of our desires burn bright with SEVEN planets in fire signs. Yes people! The astro is on fire! Sizzling, raw and primal…a certain madness and mayhem lurks in the air!

Oh, oh- the New Moon in Aries is conjunct Venus retrograde and that means that set intentions related to MONEY and LOVE. Of course this will have much to do with planetary positions in your natal chart, but I would say that these two motifs will play out heavily in the collective consciousness.

So I was talking all madness and mayhem, love the alliteration! But then what else do you expect of Aries energy? And so many freaking planets crowding the dance floor. There is a track in my mind. Set the world on fire…David Bowie. I cannot stop thinking of him since the dream I had with him in there. I think we were standing under a canopy of stars, staring at infinity! My dream time is full of such anecdotes and meetings, conversations and eye contact. Fuck it drove me nuts before I learnt how to understand it and accept it. I cannot say control it, for I cannot control any psychic or dreamscape visions.

It’s obviously masculine- this energy, which is why Bowie even came up in my mind. Have to check his astro for more clues. But let me not divert off and leave this piece unwritten. Something about me and not finishing up…hardcore wounds there. But I’m working on it.

Aries- what of them? They are the pioneers and trailblazers of the zodiac! Aries is the HEAD and is associated with BIRTH! But, but, but…there is a certain obstinacy and stubbornness about this sign that can lead to much problems.

A lot of people who consult with me are complaining of head related issues and please be careful yourself as well. There could be headaches and other head related issues that could crop up. I have successfully used numbers, switchwords and Energy Circles to combat headaches. Write 160 HZ AND 53 on your left arm and E=15 at the base of the nape of your neck with a blue pen. Works brilliantly. Feel the blue colour of the pen enter your bloodstream and instantly spread a coolness. You can call upon the Medicine Buddha in case you have some severe health complications.

I would like to suggest BHRAMARI PRANAYAMA to all of you. Please start the practice and you will see how this will help you deal with the fiery stress that could become too hot to handle. I had described how to practice the asana, but it is just making the article bigger than it needs to be, so please google it and watch videos to get a hang of it.

Now if possible, do this pranayama in the woods. I can tell you that you will feel like a new person after this. Just focus on the OM that you are humming is directly oscillating to the AUM of the Universe. To simplify it, just know that your sound is intrinsically connected to the hum of the Universe!

There is so much Aries energy in the air with five planets in this fire sign! Mercury, Venus, Uranus, the Sun and Moon are all here for this astral alignment. Let us run through the Aries archetype! This sign represents the EMPEROR card in the Tarot! The Patriarch!

Usually the Emperor represents a powerful and exemplary leader who is responsible for the welfare of the masses. The Emperor is no demagogue; in fact he is the benevolent father and if you internalise this archetype, then look to acknowledge your potential of mastery. Try to understand where you play the Emperor role and in whose life? I think here the Emperor is telling us to take OWNERSHIP of our own existence! Enough is enough! There is no messiah coming. We are the creators of our lives. Yes that is big responsibility, but it is also an inevitability. If there is any problem you need to address, look within to find answers at this time. Depend on you and it will work out. YOU ARE THE RULER, THE RULED AND THE RULING! Then where is the separation? Integrate this inner sovereignty in your meditation and the rest will fall into place.

Another thing which can be really beneficial to people who seek to use this fire energy would be to perform a HAVAN. Look up the link I have provided below to understand what this is and then figure out how you can simplify it to suit your needs. Neo pagans will have an idea. If you are confused, then contact me.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homa_(ritual)

Very effective are FIRE BURST MEDITATIONS, especially for people with physical pain or deep emotional trauma. Focus on the part which is painful. Bring full awareness there, continue deep breathwork and then light a ball inside your body, on the pain. Feel a small flame of light burning where you have the pain. For a wider area, visualise a larger flare. But remember to notice that this internal fire has a bluish tinge and does not feel hot. It feels warm, but NOT HOT! Feel these flames setting fire to the pain. Watch the pain burn away to ashes. Watch it with your internal eye. Then after the pain has been burnt away, thank the flame and the Universe and remember to thank the pain! Yes that pain taught you so much. That pain is your karmic friend. So please thank that pain with sincerity. If you want to know more about how to practice this meditation, email me. It is very effective with chronic pain and psychological ailments. You can even do this for someone else. You can use FULL-IMMUNITY-BE-INFINITY after the visualisation is over and you have burnt all the pain with your mind.

If this Aries New Moon is getting you angry or resentful, because you’re trying so hard to be NUMBER 1, then you can chant- BE-QUIET-SHUT-UP, or write it with blue pen on your left wrist. 55 65 569 is also very effective to control anger. Write this on your body or write it in a piece of paper and carry it in your wallet. Aries energy is very assertive and make sure you do not get caught in the lower vibrations. Things can get nasty. But one thing is sure- we will have a lot more energy. You can channelise it and make it work for you in multiple things- at work, with your spouse and in bed. Yes you can effectively use this energy to set fire to your sheets. Lol! Just don’t channel the selfishness and I’m Khaleesi, the-mother-of-fucking-dragons attitude! Don’t unleash your dragons on us…pretty please!

Now let us talk about the ADVENTURE that is coming our way! Fuck, I love a good adventure! There is a certain exciting escapade coming our way and it packs a heavy punch- sensually and financially. Since the retrogradation always connotes the internal journey, I would say we will be looking at questions like what money means to us? How we spend it? What are our inherent, deep rooted opinions about money, etc, etc. Also questions about love will surface…what does love mean to us? How do we quantify love? Do we even understand love? As a collective? As individuals?

If you are distressed and lonely, I would suggest visit animal shelters and think of fostering and then maybe adopting. Bringing in a furry companion might be the start you need and with all the Aries newness you could reinvent yourself. You could go Vegan, you could decide to concentrate on the NOW and let go of fears…everything is on the table!

Saturn(Maturity, growth, restriction, responsibility) is in Sag(Passion, wanderlust, ! Fire again! What do we poor mortals do with so much fire? Depending on where this is falling on your chart, you might be facing disappointments and learning hardcore Saturnian lessons. I have worked with many people and their Saturn issues- Sade Sati or Saturn return and one thing I can tell you that what Saturn wants you to learn, you will learn…no matter what! Come hell or high water.

Oh are you aware that Saturn is also about to freaking go retro on us? Yes from 6th April to Aug 26! And this time the FUTURE is ours to plan. Saturn will level the playing field with doses of karma, yes, but there will be solidity in whatever sticks. Ficgure out what is working and stick with it.

My natal chart has Saturn sitting with Mercury in Leo and my mind has always been Leonine! Filled with creative thought and with Saturn sitting there, I faced a lot of issues trying to bring my creative expression to the surface. It took a while, but it happened.

There is a CARDINAL T SQUARE that I have already discussed. Pluto, Uranus and Jupiter are forming it and this brings SEVEN PLANETS IN CARDINAL SIGNS which govern creativity! The Cardinal signs are active, moody, starters but hate finishing up, know how to pick themselves off the floor and continue and are often positioned as leaders.

So if anything, the astro is screaming- ACTION! Get the fuck off your couch and get doing whatever the fuck tickles your imagination! This is not the time for planning…it is the time for action.

I am suggesting a Sanskrit mantra which you could recite to invoke ACTION in your life. You can chant this to create your dream opportunities and manifest your heart’s desire.

Mantra: Shanti Mantra 
Om Saha Naavavatu
Saha Nau Bhunaktu
Saha Veeryam Karavaavahai
Tejasvi Aavadheetamastu Maa Vidvishaavahai Om

 

There are so many other aspects that I would like to talk about, but not in this article…will continue later…

If  you have any questions or thoughts, email me- tina@tinaheals.com

Visit my websit- http://www.tinaheals.com

 

I leave you with one of my favourite songs from Tagore.

Purify my life
with the purging touch of fire
Purify my life
With your blessings of searing pain
Make it pure like the gold
That passes the test of fire

Take unto you my mortal form
Make it a lamp of your divine abode
Let the flame of my song glow through night and day

The slightest of your touch on the dark frame of night
Let it spark a new star one after another
To illuminate the darkness

Let my vision be cleansed from all darkness
Whither alights my gaze may it see the light
Let my pain be ablaze and rise above despair

*Another version by Anandamayee Majumdar:

Your flaming touch, let it blaze my heart
Purify this life of mine
Clarify this life of mine
Simplify this life of mine
Glorify this life of mine; atoning, as I burn.

Lift my soul, lift my heart, a blazing torch of light
Glowing in the sky with stars that shimmer in the night
Melody, let it sear, forever, as I burn

Impel my layers of dark, let your hands alight

Kindling stars awake, evoking them with light.

May darkness disappear from all my soul and sight
Deluding senses with sanctifying light
Agony, let it sear, forever, as I burn.