Themes of Domination and submission~~

BDSM is not about SEX. In its higher vibrations, it has to do with SPIRITUALITY and SOUL EVOLUTION. Do you think this to be blasphemous? Follow my chain of thought and explore more.

Do you know that fear is a potent aphrodisiac?

This is a post that has been pending in the pipeline for quite a while and there is no better time to do this than right now. There is this MOON QUINCUNX MARS aspect that is happening in the skies today and with this particular energy, there is a repressed vibe of S&M if you ask me. It could also lead to AUTOSADISM, a term coined to reflect the pain and humiliation inflicted on oneself.

Yes there are all kinds of people and all different kinds of things rock their respective boats. But why the necessity to speak about BDSM, the generally accepted term for “sexual sadism within the context of mutual consent”…

I have explored the aspect of domination and submission both, although I am a natural Dominant. And women DOMINANTS do not usually speak out, unless they are pro-dommes, but, I think it is now time to openly discuss FLR or FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIPS and FEMDOM, which means FEMALE DOMINATION.

BDSM is a collaborative, spiritual and creative exchange between the TOP and the bottom. It is sublime!

And, and, and, there is not much resource for women who want to explore DOMINATION…But now, things are going to change…

Yet, I do agree, there is a sweet sense of surrender when you expose your vulnerable self to someone to do whatever they want with. It is a dangerous proposition, but if a SACRED SPACE can be created for the couple’s mutual adventurous sides to come out and play, then there is a possibility of great catharsis during a BDSM encounter.

I will stand by my thesis that BDSM, which is consensual, may actually lead to ALTERED STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS. It can be as potent as Acid or MDMA.

One study, published in May 2013, actually found that practitioners of BDSM were better off than the general population in some ways, including having secure relationships and lower anxiety. You know why? Because the relationship between a DOMINANT and a sub is open and honest, even if the sub has contacted her for a pro session.

The two words incorporated into this compound, “sadism” and “masochism”, were originally derived from the names of two authors. The term “Sadism” has its origin in the name of the Marquis de Sade (1740–1814), who not only practiced sexual sadism, but also wrote novels about these practices, of which the best known is Justine. “Masochism” is named after Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, who wrote novels expressing his masochistic fantasies. ~~WIKI

PAIN and PLEASURE are two binaries and often times this infliction of pain is brought about by the emotional needs of the masochist. The Dominant likes to play along and mentor, because through the possibility of the threat of violence, the submissive can and may succeed in expressing psychological purging. And the DOMINANT feels the intensity too. It is a dance of ADRENALINE for the TOP.

The pain that comes with sadomasochistic sex may cause the brain to shunt blood flow away from this region, causing a subjectively altered state of consciousness — and the appeal of SM, Ambler said. “Part of the reason these SM activities may be so extreme, at some level, is that they’re particularly effective at causing the brain to change its distribution of blood flow,” he said. ~~huffingtonpost

In fact after a session of SHIBARI, you will begin to feel light, stress free and in control. There is something about lying suspended, all tied up. SHIBARI is a very powerful spiritual tool and there is so much to be had if you land up as a SHIBARI CANVAS in the hands of a true artist!

In Japanese, “Shibari” simply means “to tie”. The contemporary meaning of Shibari describes an ancient Japanese artistic form of rope bondage. In the late 1800′s and early 1900′s a new form of erotic Hojo-justu evolved, called Kinbaku, the art of erotic bondage. Today, particularly in the west, the art of erotic bondage is typically called Shibari, which is an art of erotic spirituality, not a martial art. ~~artofcontemporaryshibari

VANILLA SEX does not appeal to a huge segment of society and I can stand testimony to that. There are numerous men and women who have explored or will explore BDSM in some form or the other if the chance comes along.

VIOLENCE and the thought of it also creates a sort of attachment, not the Stockholm Syndrome types, but a more psychological dependence on the DOMINANT for knowing when to take the whip out and when to make the sub lick her shoes. All these acts are at the core psychological cues asking the submissive to surrender.

The sub wants nothing more than being able to surrender, because at the sound of the crack of the whip, all his troubles vanish away. The DOMINANT is as heavily attached to the play as the sub if not more so. Because a DOMINANT knows no surrender and is always in control which can be quite demanding. Because sometimes we all like to go with the flow.

There are subtle emotional cues the DOMINANT must always look for, because it is the DOMINANT here who is the MEDICINE or the WITCH DOCTOR. I have worked with many women who have wanted to explore their dominant side. I have worked with many men who have felt so ashamed at their submissive side that they have come to me broken, sexually and psychologically. It takes time to build such people from ground zero, so it is my suggestion that we understand and explore it. If we have a partner who is into BDSM play, then we should be open enough to explore any extremity that might be needed.

I am not saying that if you are a submissive, then you have to become a dominant just to please your man. All I am saying is, that men love it when women TAKE CONTROL in bed. You can guide him, ride him, delay him or gratify him. It is in your hands.

And no, if a person is a dominant, then it does not mean they are a sexual deviant or a sexual predator or even sexually aggressive. Remember a rape is not S&M, because RAPE is never about sexual gratification. RAPE IS ABOUT POWER. P-O-W-E-R!!!

A Dominant is in fact like your MENTOR, if you are a sub and the responsibility of a mentor is quite heavy if you ask me. Much heavier than just letting things happen to you. Some Dominant use a safe word, some don’t. But at the end of the day, BDSM is never about physical harm. Keeping sub/slave tendencies repressed will only create havoc with your life and finances. So why not explore this path with your partner or find a mentor.

There is nothing wrong if a man wants to be submissive in bed. In fact, some of the most POWERFUL MEN in history have been subs in bed. They are so sick and tired of making all the decisions, that now they want to surrender their whole being to the Dominant.

Many people have asked me to discuss BDSM’S ASTROLOGY. What makes a DOMINANT? What makes a submissive? And it is time to understand that practitioners of BDSM are not sociopaths or psychopaths and are not clinically unwell.

Even though FREUD seemed to suggest otherwise.

In 1905, Sigmund Freud described sadism and masochism in his Drei Abhandlungen zur Sexualtheorie (“Three papers on Sexual Theory”) as stemming from aberrant psychological development from early childhood.~~WIKI

BDSM activists have been toiling tirelessly to remove this misconception.

Have you seen the film Quills? Starring Geoffrey Rush, Kate Winslet, and Michael Caine? That depicts the life of the man whose name coined the word SADISM.

How delightful are the pleasures of the imagination! In those delectable moments, the whole world is ours; not a single creature resists us, we devastate the world, we repopulate it with new objects which, in turn, we immolate. The means to every crime is ours, and we employ them all, we multiply the horror a hundredfold. —Marquis de Sade, Les prospérités du vice

In a patriarchal world, we are used to men taking the leadership role and we see women generally as subservient to the men around. The idea of women being sadists were not accepted by FREUD and his colleagues. Men were the DOMINANT, they thought. And how wrong are they? Femdom is a slap in the face of FRUED.

Both Krafft-Ebing and Freud assumed that sadism in men resulted from the distortion of the aggressive component of the male sexual instinct. Masochism in men, however, was seen as a more significant aberration, contrary to the nature of male sexuality. Freud doubted that masochism in men was ever a primary tendency, and speculated that it may exist only as a transformation of sadism. Sadomasochism in women received comparatively little discussion, as it was believed that it occurred primarily in men. Both also assumed that masochism was so inherent to female sexuality that it would be difficult to distinguish as a separate inclination. ~~WIKI

Since SADO-MASOCHISM is such a difficult topic to tackle, let me explain some astrological aspects that might illuminate it further.

Look for challenging aspects between PLUTO and MARS. The NN does also play into it. In fact the FIXED SIGNS, the CROSS of LEO, TAURUS, AQUARIUS and SCORPIO are into hegemony and powerplay in some sorts during sex.

SATURN in the fifth may cause one to be a cold sadist and PLUTO in there might mean that dirty politics is operative in the dynamics. If there is a CONJUNCTION of these planets, then there could be a very strong DOMINANT there.

AQUARIUS ASCENDANT and MOONS are heavily into BDSM, they are mostly switches as they like to experience the full spectrum. A URANUS strong chart would also indicate sexual experimentation.

SATURN placements would mean a father figure fixation. It might make you attracted to older men. I have my SATURN in LEO in the 12th and older men with wisdom definitely interest me. It is the SATURNIAN WISDOM that turns me on. SATURN could also be a CRONE and you might find yourself pulled to older, wiser women who will dominate you.

MOON OPPOSITE PLUTO could also point to sexual power dynamics, like CHARLES MANSON, the cult leader. This can make you FANATICAL and INTOLERANT, energies a DOMINANT can use well in bed.

MARS in ARIES, 8th house brings the DOMINA into full functionality and then the cherry on top is an OPPOSITION to the NN and PLUTO which are conjunct. Yay baby!

What makes the DOMINANT tick? What excites me about a man who can surrender to me? Yes, sometimes I like being cruel to my lover, but why?

I feel powerful? I am in charge? My way or the high way? All of this actually. Because even though a woman is the receptive energy, she is also the CREATRIX, the SHAKTI that creates everything.

Look for Lilith placements in your chart. I have some hardcore Lilith and Mars conversations happening in my natal chart.

Think of ERIS…Eris is the goddess of discord and rivalry.

Greek myth tells that, upon exclusion from a wedding, Eris threw into the midst of its revellers an apple marked ‘for the fairest’. An argument ensued between the goddesses Athena, Hera and Aphrodite as to its intended recipient, the settling of which eventually led to the Trojan War

Pitting the goddesses Athena, Hera and Aphrodite against each other in competition for the title of ‘fairest’, she exposed the diminished feminine, divorced from its sovereignty and subordinated to the power of the masculine gaze. Now she returns power to us all, inviting us to embrace the light and dark feminine and all shades in-between: the Venusian delights of sensuality, the cyclical intuition of our lunar nature and the viscerality of Eridian challenge of all that perpetuates patriarchal mores of gendered worth. ~~foreverunlimited

Women are not objects created for the male gaze.

Femdom kinda reverses that fulcrum. BE LIKE ERIS. Who cares who is fairer? Who cares about what men think and how we need to alter ourselves to fit into the norm of what is attractive. Life is not just a heteronormative exposition.

TANTRICS are all subs and slaves to the women. Because in tantra, it is only a woman who is superior to men as she is a direct symbol of the Goddess.

The sub suffers and a Dominant enjoys that SUFFERING.

Understand one thing, that both the DOMME and the sub are exploring their UNCONSCIOUS MIND as they embark on the play. The SADIST may draw inspiration from their UNCONSCIOUS to punish the sub. It could be jealousy, possessiveness or sexual marking. It could even piss the DOMINANT off if the sub sexually turns her on. After all, he does what she says.

The sub is an object. SUBHUMAN and a Dominant need not handle any bullshit from him. It is her choice to do as she pleases. Sex loses its meaning in the traditional way, but here a new sexual narrative takes shape. A new foray into sexual mores and desires. The world is ready for it.

The DOMINANT wants trophies, not lovers. In most cases, DOMINANTS feel scared to posit deep meaning in their sexual acts. But meaning already always exists, doesn’t it. The play time develops a new relationship dynamics. This scapegoating more times than not, alleviates the trauma of women who have undergone sexual abuse. In fact, it is a deep healing process to take back that control in your sexual life. But again, it must be BALANCED, not just rampant physical harm.

The submissives usually have hard NEPTUNE aspects with their MOONS and ASCENDANTS. MARS and NEPTUNE can create a nebulous haze around needs and desires. I have seen subs lost in rape fantasies because of Neptune and MARS, sometimes Pluto. Pisces as 8th house too.

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”
― Anaïs Nin

I will discuss Anaïs Nin’s astrology in more detail when I do the submissive women part. This is what a lot of women want, but some women want the male to be submissive and it is quite common. Women are exceptionally good Dominants, like Geisha’s so many of them helping their clients explore in the sanctity of the sacred space they create.

ALGOL is another FIXED STAR to look at as it focuses on PLUTONIC ALL-CONSUMING OBSESSION. Anger and rage can devour you, although the DOMINANT is never really angry. It is like an actor playing a role.

In astrology, ERIS and LILITH are both Dominas. In tantric myths, it is KALI, the one true feminist who never thought twice of standing on the chest of her man to make a point.

I am not some feminazi spouting hatred and causing more divisions and fractures in the collective psyche. I am just asking you to be like KALI. Take charge of your life, take charge of your pleasure and show your man what to do and what you like. Make him submit and he will love you for it. I know my lovers have loved it when I have taken charge. Try it and it is different every time.

There is much more coming up in themes of Domination and submission, many more nuances to discuss to bring to light the holistic aspect of this BDSM playtime. I have seen the efficacy and now I am here to unveil the potential of truly dominating a man or truly submitting and surrendering to him. What do you like? What does he like? Understand your sexual needs and desires.

JUPITER in SCORPIO is blessing ya…

Email me if you want to learn to awaken your DOMINANT side~~

I do workshops with women from all over the world.

I do lecture about the subject,, so email me if you want me to speak on it.

tina@tinaheals.com

IMAGE COPYRIGHT ~~Australian mixed media artist Garth Knight reveals overtly what we already know: bondage is beautiful. His project, The Enchanted Forest, elevates rope bondage to a new level —CHECK HIS WORK OUT~~

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Kamakhya Tantra discussion~

The story goes like this…steeped in mysticism and folklore…and you know why it is so important???

Because India, the country from which the myth originates is repulsed by women bleeding or MENSTRUATION! Therefore it is time to bring the narrative of the pussy and the power of the SACRED blood back into collective consciousness.

I am a woman who is truly appreciative of the womb energy.

Understanding the operations of my SACRAL CHAKRA opened up my creativity in ways I cannot express. I found balance as I embraced my Pussy. The literal and also the metaphoric. My pussy links me to the Goddess sitting atop the blue hills in Assam. Her yoni and mine are connected. It flows with feminine intuitive juices that can nurture and create.

Kamakhya resonates and glistens with the halo of untold spiritual energies. A YONI or VAGINA is worshiped here, see I was not kidding. There is no image of the GODDESS, none at all. The YONI is all.

This story dates back to antiquity and lies shrouded in the mists of the PRE-VEDIC ERA.

Back to vagina worship…has a nice ring to it…

Shocked that people can do such a thing? In fact, vagina worship is known to be found in cross-cultural societies. Take Japan for instance. Find a small cave in Yeddo and inside is a HUGE YONI propitiated by many. And even BRAHMA was told to begin creation of the MANVANTARA after meditating on the YONI!

Heavy PUSSY POWER there! KAMAKHYA was the ULTIMATE SYMBOL of FERTILITY. The maiden is now ready to become a mother with the seed given to her by the penis or the male energy. The sperm is considered sacred in tantra, but more so…the blood of a menstruating woman.

Shiva told Parvati that any human being who has this text book in their home will never want for anything. What does this mean? Shiva is the male/active principle who impregnates the feminine, Parvati. She who is the female embodiment symbol and they join in MAITHUNA to manifest the world. So with the CORRECT KNOWLEDGE of this tantra, one can gain enlightenment. With enlightenment comes peace, bliss and tranquility. There is no lack or want in samadhi. No desire when the male/female polarities are balanced.

Therefore with the use of KAMAKHYA TANTRA, it is possible to gain liberation and break out of the samsaric wheel. In the KALIKA PURANA, it is clearly stated that the GREAT COSMIC YONI is placed on the NILGIRI HILLS in Assam, India. That place vibrates with the sacred feminine energy of the YONI. The Yoni or Pussy is the greatest creative force, the womb is the ultimate MOTHER of all.

Kamakhya (Assamese: কামাখ্যা দেৱী), also known as Siddha Kubjika,is an important Hindu Tantric goddess of desire who evolved in the Himalayan hills. She is worshiped as Siddha Kubjika, and is also identified as Kali and Maha Tripura Sundari. Her name means “renowned goddess of desire,” and she resides at the presently rebuilt Kamakhya Temple in 1645 C. The temple is primary among the 51 Shakti Peethas related to the sect that follows Sati, and remains one of the most important Shakta temples and Hindu pilgrimage sites in the world.~~WIKI

The tantric texts refer to her as MAHAMAYA or the GREAT GODDESS OF ILLUSION and in KALIKA PURANA, she is said to be the most important Devi to be worshiped to gain moksha. SHODOSHI, one of the emanations of the GREAT MOTHER is said to be her and she is very close to DURGA.

KAMAKHYA is visualized as a young girl of about 16 years old, with twelve arms and six heads of varying colors. The number of limbs and hands signify that she is OMNIPOTENT, OMNISCIENT and OMNIPOTENT. She is dressed as a young bride, wearing a red saree with ornate jewelry. The hibiscus is her favourite flower, like Kali.

She holds a lotus, trident, sword, bell, discus, bow, arrows, club or scepter, goad, and shield in each of ten hands. The two remaining hands hold a bowl. It can be of gold, but more often it is a KAPAAL or a skull. She emanates from a LOTUS which has emerged from SHIVA’S navel, who in turn lies atop a lion.

Brahma and Vishnu, each seated upon a lotus are found flanked on her two sides.

The mention of KAMAKHYA temple can be found in a number of texts. BRIHADARANYA PURANA, KALIKA PURANA, TANTRACHURAMANI, YOGINI TANTRA, DEVIBHAGAVATAM and DEVI PURANA to name a few.

To understand the mythology of KAMAKHYA you have to understand the SATI EPISODE.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sati_(Hindu_goddess)

Explore the myth of SATI on Wiki to get a context of what happens next.

Cut back to my story…

SHIVA was dancing the tandav with SATI on his shoulders and the world was coming to an end. It was the very apocalypse we fear. Then VISHNU had to use the SUDARSHAN CHAKRA to sever the body of SATI. Her body parts scattered all over the world and in KAMAKHYA, her YONI or VAGINA landed.

As her vagina touched the earth, it metamorphosed to a stone. The same stone we know lies in the temple today. The public is not allowed to see the real stone.

Although the temple of KAMAKHYA has its origins before the Vedic civilization. There were people of KIRATA origin, PRE-VEDIC who offered worship to a GODDESS on this spot by sacrificing pigs! Yikes!

These people were MATRILINEAL and worshiped the FEMININE.

BTW, according to legend, no one can ever touch the Yoni of the Goddess. If you do so, you can get infected and become a STONE MAN, GOT style. The myths speak of metals like iron smelting in contact to the Yoni!

SHIVA, the masculine principle settled his essence in the stone that was once SATI’S Yoni and that is how creation found balance again. This story speaks of so much. It tells us how the feminine must be as grounded as a rock to bear creation. The male can only then settle in her and thrust his sperm. If the WOMB is not ready to receive, then there is no creation. That is why SILENCE and STILLNESS are huge parts of the feminine expression.

It is also said that there is water or some type of liquid all the way down to PATALA or the Netherworld. The vagina is connected to all the worlds, because it is out of her that reality arose.

KAMAKHYA is the GODDESS principle and she manifests as PRAKRITI or nature and natural laws. The stone that is the representation of the yoni has a natural spring that flows through it. This water is sacred and during AMBUBACHI, which is the time of MENSTRUATION of the Goddess, this water turns red. No one knows why. This sacred blood is collected in tiny red cotton cloths and given to people as PRASAD.

During her menstruation, the temple remains closed for maybe three days and the AMBUBACHI MELA takes place in full swing. No one sees the Yoni of course, it is like 20 feet below ground level and sits inside a cave. In the temple, there is a stone that is a symbol of the Yoni below.

I have been to the temple during the AMBUBACHI. But that was ages ago. In fact I have a plan to live for the whole duration of this festival to shoot and interview people for my upcoming videos on Tantra. That is something I am dying to do.

Very many powerful sadhakas, tantrics, bhairavis, yogis, yoginis and many other interesting people appear here during the Ambubachi mela and that time is awesome for content creation. And during breaks, practice tantra. How sublime would that be? Maybe you’d want to join in for this adventure? Let me know.

If you want to study about KAMAKHYA and learn her arts, then drop me an email.

 

DONATE TO MY WORK~~

BOOK YOUR SESSION WITH ME~~

BOOK YOUR KAMAKHYA WORSHIP KIT~~

BE INITIATED INTO HER MANTRAS~~

tina@tinaheals.com

The Vibe now: On Misogyny, Name-calling and my Future Quest across seven seas~~

“From the idea that the self is not given to us, I think there is only one practical consequence: we have to create ourselves as a work of art.” ~~MICHEL FOUCAULT

Mercury conjunct Jupiter, in Scorpio- look what it has made us do? Share pain and grief collectively. PURGE!!! Look at the death and rape culture around you. It is a cult of war and violence, a civilisation brought up on deception, dishonesty, violence, misogyny and apathy. Look at the almost Pavlovian mind control the ruling elites have rooted in our society. Look how conditioned we have become. So desensitised. Our behaviours so self-destructive. Where is all this leading?

The NM in Libra was…mmm…well, not like your conventional Libra energy. It felt dark, deep and a lingering anxiety remains. After the Mercury conjunct the Moon in Scorpio, the next day, I began to finally get a grip over the energy.

The #metoo campaign with its sordid narratives rocked my world. Scenes and shots came back from my past. Fragmented, disjointed memories of pain, hurt and suffocation.

Those hands on me, those disgusting crawling hands all over my body…the memories drove me nuts. Sounds and smells came rushing in while I read stories of rape and abuse from women all over the world. It reminded me of all the times that men have violated my boundaries and it is a large number. Be it in asking me to smile or calling me bossy or calling me a slut because I will not sleep with them, men have used and abused their positions numerous times. But we women are always expected to take everything with a pinch of salt.

I come from a country where there is a particular brand of cinema called Bollywood that has a specialised synchronised dance track which is called ITEM NUMBER, as a beautiful woman in scanty clothes, her dance troop of a bevy of girls(half naked too) behind her perform a sensual dance moving seductively to a male audience that is hooting and cat calling. She is the item. So we sorta know how to take misogyny to levels most people cannot even envisage.

 

You know, I have been called so many  names including Manhater, Feminazi, Female Supremacist, witch, bitch, whore, slut…blah, blah…but nothing matters. I work from my heart and I do not hate. Yes I speak up against injustice, yes, I seek a revolution or an evolution…but not with hatred. Men I do not hate you. Men…I love you!

But maybe it is time to DECONSTRUCT YOUR METACOGNITION/COGNITION and POST COGNITIVE PROCESSES. Maybe it is time to think about how you think. This might actually make you a more effective thinker. But at the same time, it is also time to FEEL. Think about how you feel and why you feel so. Do you even allow yourself the luxury of feeling? Because I know how society ridicules you every-time you show emotions. Be a man and what not. But feeling my love are not a luxury, let me tell you, they are a necessity for healthy functionality in life.

I know some of you hate me. Think long and hard. Why do you hate me? Why? Because I speak the truth? Because I can see the toxic patterns of patriarchy? Because I think and feel and actually speak up, unlike so many of my sisters? It hurts the most when women misunderstand. Because it is high time we women stop enabling patriarchy.

And men…what when tomorrow you have a girl? What then? Sleep peacefully, you have WILD CRUSADERS out there and the tide will turn. Let us be that change.

You cannot label me. Every single time you start to think that you have me all figured out, I promise to surprise you. You know why you cannot label me? Because humans cannot be labelled. No matter how appropriate the label might be, the labelling by itself is redundant. I will dress the way I want to, because I do not dress for your gaze. Yes, I want you to look at me and appreciate me, but my reality does not revolve around how much you fancy me. I want you to want me, but with respect and dignity. I want you to see me for what I am…a multidimensional being of light who is having a human experience. She is a woman who is free, wild and adventurous and I like looking at life through her lens.

But I am not her…this is not some WOKE BS. This is in fact the very truth of the fabric of this reality. I am not ME, not this body, not this pussy and not this orgasm. Hahahaha! I am in constant flux, forever shifting and I already exist in the many versions in the many multiverses. But I am also here, typing this so you can read.

Absolutely overwhelming? Do not let fear engulf you. You are an astronaut of the mind, aren’t you? Or else why are you reading this?

Just because a woman wears make up and skimpy clothes does not make her a slut. Her mini skirt is not an invite for your lust. My red lipstick does not mean I am saying yes to you. Understand that. And that is what I am here to show you. Women cannot be put away in tiny little labels. So stop calling me a whore, slut, manhater or whatever the fuck your toxic mind can think of. Jupiter has deployed his archetypal lens and activated my third house of communication which happens to be Scorpio. So the intensity and the truths will come out. Look how the brave women are speaking up and toppling the status quo.

Today, the Scorpionic Moon trines Neptune and the dreamscape opens up for me and oh, I am bleeding since the NM in Libra. You know how my psychic energy swells every time I menstruate and it is usually during this time I have my most profound visions and epiphanies or aha moments. Menstrual blood is very potent for magick and can be used in multiple ways. In fact sex during this time can most certainly be magickal, for both involved. It takes on a primal oeuvre.

Back to the splintered visions. There are fragmented, chaotic dreams…dreams of the snowy Himalayas, dreams of cymbals clashing, dreams of the pale red dot of a Sun…I can smell the incense, I can hear the chanting, I can feel the vibe, it is electric with spiritual energy.

Scorpio season is all about digging up the metaphorical/metaphysical dirt and really getting down and dirty to investigate, so I will share with you an experience I had a few months ago. Let me know what you think of them.

So this monk from Tibet, Lhasa writes to me. He tells me that he has known me for many lives and in the last incarnation we worked and studies together in Tibet, in Gyanganj.

In fact, I had told him in that reality to come and find me in the 3D world through some Youtube videos I have made in 2011 or so. He told me that I have asked him to remind me of the mark in my chest. Look I have no mark on my chest, but I wanted to get a wolf tattoo done there. But for now, there is nothing.

He told me to meditate on this and get back to him. I regret not taking this whole thing seriously and in fact I did try to sit in meditation, but my baby was all over me and the cats had to be fed, so I could not really tap into any vision.

I did not respect the monk or even pay attention. I called him brother and he told me that monks are no one’s brothers. They are just monks and that I am a Nun from the snowy slopes of Tibet.

I am aware of my connection to Tibet and the signs and synchronicity that I am experiencing have increased significantly over the last few years. I know Tibet has been my home during numerous incarnations and I have meditated and studied there. The Himalayas are my home and I know this.

And then there are memories of the kalachakra initiation. Let me tell you one thing, my greatest desire in life right now is receiving the Kalachakra transmissions from the Dalai Lama. This particular Dalai Lama has been my teacher in many incarnations and it is time we meet.

There is so much spiritual telepathy between us that I am actually shocked that we have not met yet. I dream of the Dalai Lama with a strange persistence. I have never dreamt of one person so much. He is always there, in my dreams. Everything becomes silent when he smiles at me and calls me to his arms. Everything becomes silent and just the way it is meant to be.

I hope to travel across seven seas soon and go to one place which has been calling me for very many years. I can feel myself there too and I think a wild adventure awaits me. Actually this Libra NM journaling was much about that. It felt good to finally decide that I want to go there. Now let’s see if the Universe responds.

 

Notes on #PussyTalks: Sluts and Whores~~

Wow thank you all for the letters and the notes, the memes and the pictures; they made my day just that much brighter. I had retreated into a very deep place, something to do with my natal Pluto, Mars and Venus aspects from where I might never fully return. Astrological work will be coming up shortly as well as more on Sacred sexuality.

Jupiter in Scorpio brought about a wonderful surprise, remember it is on the third house from Ascendant. The house of communication and the energy is Scorpionic with Jupiter amplifying all those attributes. I spoke to a group of empowered Escorts and sex workers who know and love their work. They also love their clients(well most of them).

You might not know, but I have been interacting with escorts, Johns, Dominas, Tops, Bottoms, Crossdressers and many others from the sex industry for very many years. Collecting data and looking through a Uranian filter on such SCORPIONIC ISSUES.

Something about the way women’s sexuality presented itself in society did not do much for my identity as a sexual being. In fact, I told that virginity was something to be saved for your husband. Fuck yes, I remember it. Fuck, everything to do with sex was such a stigma. All the time.

Obviously bad girls like me do not listen and we do what we need to do to experience life in all its awesomeness. How can you leave out sexuality which is at the very crux of human civilisation?

It made no sense that it was so hush-hush. It made no sense why my BFS got so jealous if other men(including their brothers and their best friends) looked at me or spoke to me with excitement. They behaved like I was their possession and it pissed my rebellious spirit off to no end.

In fact, it happened to me recently. I lost an old friend because her husband could not contain his excitement at meeting me! And this is one woman who should have known that I will never be into her man. Even if he was my type. It hurt me tremendously and is a wound I have been carrying for a few months. There I spoke of it…

Such is the place from which Pussy Talks was conceived. I had to discover for myself that I was not alone. I was not the only woman who CRAVED TO CONNECT. I was not the only woman who wanted it uninhibited, raw, deep and fiery.

I knew there were others.

That is when I learnt of the Virgin/Whore archetypes. That is what society has reduced us to. Either we are good little virgins(wives, mothers, sisters) or we are whores(free minded bitches). I may be a wife, but my husband knows very well and loves the fact that he does not own me. I am as free as he is.

I saw girls gossiping amongst themselves every-time someone lost her virginity. There were always the most psychotic, obsessive, desperate-to-accomplish types who held on to their hymens.

It was strange the way they held on to their virginity as a commodity with which they could in some way leverage a better deal.

Not for me. Hahahahahaha! Some even went for hymen transplantation. Such is the saga of human sexuality today.

Working through the sacred slut archetype yesterday with the ladies MADE ME SO EXCITED that I made up my mind to write this post. Every woman has the right to feel this orgasmic bliss that rocks her whole being. It is as much your birthright as it is mine.

Most times, men will not give it to you, so you must learn to give it to yourself till you find the ONE you can merge in sacred union with. Trust me there is someone who will make love to you and stick all the broken parts back together. Dreamy shit…hahahaha!

Anyway girls, your virginity is not a commodity and the first time you make love, keep in mind that even if the person is not your Mr. Right, even then, be PRESENT in the moment. In the NOW. Be there. Smell him, feel him, feel the whole scenario and just experience it. Do not feel upset if it is not what you had in mind. Embrace the reality while knowing that the fantasy might happen, someday.

There is nothing as disturbing as losing your virginity while drunk or drugged. In fact, if you decide to lose your virginity, make sure, you and your beau abstain from alcohol, especially if you are doing YONI PUJA or tantra meditation sex. Remember, this is not Neo-Tantra, so my ideas may differ from what is being sold in the West as Tantra.

I know that to activate your sexual energy, you have to connect with your pussy. It has to be done. My work with women focuses on activating the GODDESS FORM INSIDE EACH OF THEM and the YONI or the PUSSY becomes a direct symbol of the GODDESS.

The ladies I spoke with were working with sexual energy and if they work with the GODDESS FORM, they might find more magick in the work they do. The men will also respond to this energy flux. This might result in lots of kundalini activity.

Although they were pretty adjusted on the surface, yet, some of them failed to really tap into their INNER SACRED SLUT/WHORE and sex work can become healing work if you just understand how to work with the energy and it all begins with INTENT.

Most girl were telling me that they find no time to meditate or do anything spiritual at which I told them and showed them how putting on your daily make up can become a meditation.

They were thrilled I can tell you that.

As Jupiter moves through Scorpio, society will be confronted with FEMALE SEXUALITY like never before.

Believe me, wild sister, man wanted monogamy. You did not. He decided to control you while you were pregnant and had to depend on him. And look now, what has changed. Women’s reproductive rights are a joke.

Women are way more sexual than men and the Courtesans and Sacred Whore of yore knew this. They were SLUTS because unlike the wives they did not belong to any man, but chose to mate with whomever she liked.

No man controlled her, not with money, not with sex and not with children.

She was free to explore her sexuality and in most cases made it a spiritual practice. Women have this inherent wisdom and trust me, talking to sex workers from all over, I can tell you that they are some of the wisest and experienced women, especially if she has successfully drawn on the COURTESAN archetype.

For the Courtesan was a truly accomplished Artist and MUSE, sometimes of really powerful men. She was a Philosopher, a musician, a singer, a confidant, a seductress and even a top in bed and she played all these roles to perfection.

Why are wives sacred of the Courtesan? Like some women are scared of sexually empowered women? These women are your witches, your bitches and your bossy bosses. Don’t you just hate them? Hahahahahaha!

The wife fears the courtesan because the courtesan does not need any man. But the wife does. Remember she is a wife and her whole identity is wrapped around that little concept.

The Courtesan is free from this. She is sexually free, in most cases(if she is smart, lol) then she decides and chooses her lovers and they in turn provide for her. Yes the Courtesan is seen as a FREE and available woman and in most cases vilified, but it was not so in ancient times and it is also imperative to end the stigma behind sex work and prostitutes. They are girls, like you and me.

Escorts and sex workers have to understand SACRED SEXUALITY, because they work with kundalini energy at the very base level and if they manage to rise up in vibration as a collective, then imagine what could happen. Our society could change.

Being in love with somebody and cohabiting with someday- two totally disparate concepts. How can you love someone if you know them intimately? The courtesan provides the allure, the mysterious. Whereas the wife is an open book that the husband mostly ignores because he has read every page. So instead of going through the painful process of reinventing yourself over and over again(spending tons and tons on the way you look and getting stressed AF), wouldn’t it be better if we redefined feminine sexuality.

It is so very important for women as a collective to come together and scream out that- WE RECLAIM OUR SEXUALITY, our reproductive rights…We will decide as well how sex and sexual imagery will be portrayed in media and in society.

Look at the images in front of you…hacked and quartered limbs of women selling you products. The breast will sell you everything, but when it pops out to feed an infant- ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. While breastfeeding my toddler the other day at the airport, I was stunned at how many men stared at my breast, forgetting the fact that they were once babes suckling on their moms.

Look sexual imagery is created for the MALE GAZE. There are no spaces for women to express their sexual preferences, desires, fantasies and the rest. Fuck that, there is really no avenue for women to be sexually empowered. Look around you, wherever you go…the violence on women is apparent and evident.

You cannot hide from it now.

Working through SACRED SEXUALITY and all the archetypes in our consciousness must be a top priority, not just for sex workers, but for all women and men out there.

Men are being fed a garbage diet of misogynistic porn and soon to come, robot sex. Think hard. How will a man handle the idiosyncrasies of a real woman. So men, tune into your sacral chakra. It has a lot of wisdom.

Men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus, although they are the cosmic archetypes of masculine and feminine. Both men and women are from Earth and it is time to join together.

A woman is way more sexual than a man. Believe me and please note that the walls of the vagina do not get stretched or loose with sex. In fact the pussy is full of elasticity, the muscles and tissues can expand and contract easily and return to how it used to be.

I have heard so many women bring this up as a lack of interest in the men that I feel like shouting it out from the roofs tops. Google it bitches…check it out. You can start the Kegels later on now.

There is so much bullshit propaganda around female sexuality thatt it has perverted human sexual expression and its freedom. Society never makes women’s sexuality a priority. It is a filter through which a male can masturbate and enjoy. Watch the lesbian porns out there and you will know of what I speak. You already do.

The clothes we are meant to wear. They are so freaking uncomfortable, some of them, yet they serve the purpose of the male gaze. Look at the bikini, it is an elaborate subterfuge to get women exposed so men can stare at them while sitting with their wives. Making the wife insecure and getting her hating on the younger girl. See how it is a vicious cycle. The wife hates the sexually free woman, even though they both stand oppressed in the hands of patriarchy.

Little girls are falling under the trap of hyper sexualisation and that is creating a more perverted scenario where they find it hard to fit in and adhere to set norms of beauty because they are unrealistic.

If women became sexual beings and decided to take matters in their own hands, then things could change. Women can bring about a change in the way society perceives and separates us.

Maybe there can be BALANCE if men and women contribute to the sexual repertoire. It will benefit us as a culture.

Ladies reading this, you need to reclaim the INNER WHORE and trust on your vagina. You have to begin a relationship with it and start to love it. Like your womb.

You can only bring pleasure to your husband if you learn to pleasure yourself and take sex as an artform. If you tap into the COURTESAN archetype, you will see how it shifts your whole energy signature and sexually awakened tigresses are beacons of hope for the rest of the females because we have been so repressed and controlled in that department that we have lost our voices to speak of sexual pleasure. Or wait, people might call you a SLUT/WHORE.

So what?

 

DONATE TO ME AND SUPPORT THIS WORK

I intend to work with escorts, sex workers and others from the sex industry and am available for Talks, Seminars and Discussions. Feel free to book me for such events.

tina@tinaheals.com

An abject Poet’s Love Song

This is from a series of more than a hundred love poems and songs I have composed. It is dedicated to SOMEONE IN SOME MULTIVERSE. So if you are reading…you know what to do…

 

Can you step out of the image I hold of you in my heart?

Stand and face me.

Separate from me.

If you do not, how will I know you exist?

How will I know I exist?

How will I know that your existence is separate from me.

Not a myth of my mind.

If you remain frozen as an image,

How will I hold you in flesh and bones?

How will I feel the taste of your lips?

 

Can you step put of the sonnet I compose in vain?

Show me you exist without my words.

You do not just appear in my words, as a figment of my imagination, do you?

If you remain hidden in the words I write,

Then how will I know this love, this insanity is real?

How will I be sure that my heart writes not in vain?

How will I know that my words do not define you?

And you breathe and sleep, just like any mortal.

If you remain as ideas,

How will I ever concretise your actuality?

 

Can you separate from the tune that plays in my soul?

Without you, the whole tune falls apart.

For you are that one note that glues my composition together.

Without you the tune will make no sense,

But I will know of your existence.

I will know you are the rhythm of the soil my heart,

The frequency that transcends space and time.

Your separation will convince me how important you are in this equation of spiritual truths.

Your disconnection will kill the music of the spheres of my soul.

The harmonic resonance destroyed.

 

But in all calamity,

I will know you exist.

There will be no colour in my canvas.

No words in my vocabulary to pen my love for you,

And no tunes to pulsate the depths of my being.

But I will know that in separation you exist.

 

Do not listen to the ravings of a lunatic poet,

Listen not to the words I sing,

Ignore the pain in my words.

For what do you care about an abject poet’s love song?

 

 

 

 

For someone in some Multiverse

I know somewhere deep within the heart of the cosmos, you and me are in each other’s arms, maybe watching the Helix nebula. I know you are looking at me, like no one ever has and no one ever will, because only your eyes can perceive the depth of my soul. Only  you can understand my beauty the way you do.

I can see the love in your eyes. I can feel the memories of eternities coalesce into time and space, kaleidoscopes of memories flashing, the cacophony of your voices in diverse timelines calling my name, the sound of your laughter. It is all there, in my mind Beloved.

All those memories. All those eternities, they are compressed somewhere in my unconscious. I know we have grown old in each other’s arms a million, billion times. I know we have raised and cared for so many children. I know it. All those memories are buried in this 3D world. My conscious mind barely remembers you.

But somewhere, something has stirred and snippets of memory flood my mind. They refuse to go away. They torture me, they plague me, until I meditate or write or do photography. I have to channel this intensity in art. That is why I have lost myself in art this lifetime beloved.

I know you are there somewhere, in the Universe today. Not by my side and you will not grow old with me. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. I don’t know why. Why is there so much pain for a life never lived? For memories never shared? How is every inch of you so very precious to me? When I have not even touched your body?

I know you irritate me too, and anger me and provoke me. But then I know that you are here to show me parts of my soul. For you are my soul. Is that even possible?

Why do I feel so linked to you? I know I have never met you. At least not consciously. Maybe somehow, somewhere our paths have crossed in this 3D and we probably did not recognise each other. I know I was not spiritually mature enough to identify you. Maybe you managed to identify me?

Maybe we met…maybe we looked at each other across the room. Maybe we passed each other on the beach? In some party?

I have fallen in love, but not the intensity I know I can experience with you. Yes I can love without you, but I don’t want to. I know you will come.

In fact even if you are in another dimension, I know you will find a way to time travel through the warps of time and space. You will come to meet me.

I want to tell you that you have been my muse and I am so thankful for all the creative energy you have sent my way. I can feel your energy, you know, at times. Especially when you think of me. And I know when you are thinking of me, because every fibre of my being can feel that longing from your end. I can feel how badly you want me. I want you as badly, if not more.

You know I am reminded of Keats when he says, My love has made me selfish…not because your love has in any way made me selfish, but because it has done the very opposite. Your love has opened me up to greater love that exists in creation. The love I feel for you is now expressed as love for all.

You are my home. Even if you are stacked away in some other multiverse. Maybe we will meet when our Universes collide and information bleeds into both of them. That is when you and me may come face to face.

Will our timelines collide? Will the hologram direct you to me?

I know I have been waiting…for a very long time for you to come. But you never came and I am not angry with you about that. I understand you are yet not ready to come which is why you have not come. I am not ready obviously as well.

I want to tell you one thing…I am a survivor. I have survived molestation, I have survived the cruel world, I have survived terrible relationships and I am still here.

In fact nothing could break me. I knew of the spiritual world and of you. I knew this 3D world is illusion. Everything here is an illusion, even the rape. This reality is JUST ANOTHER SIMULATION.

Which is why you are probably so far away, in another multiverse, in another timeline. Tell me, are you aware of me? Do you know I exist? Does your soul call out to mine? Does your body crave to be entwined with mine?

I know you know of me, whether consciously or unconsciously is the question. Have you reached that spiritual level of identifying me? I haven’t obviously.

ARE YOU CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF ME?

The thing is, I know of you because when everything turned cold and dead, you existed, as a flame in my heart. I am wild, my Beloved. I am untamed as I roam the earth looking for you.

I have looked for you in many dimensions, through the Bardos, through the Nine Gates of Hell and I am not even sure if I managed to find you there. For I don’t remember when we last met in the physical world.

I just have sudden flashes. Of your eyes. Your smile. Your hair.

Sometimes I am sure I have heard you call my name. I don’t know what name you called me by, but I know you were calling me. Time and again, I have woken up in my sleep, my heart beating ferociously.

I know the time will surely come one day. Do you feel that? Do you feel the urge to meet me? I was not expecting you to show up in this life, but now I so badly hope for that.

You know as I began to type this letter, I knew the futility of this exercise. How will I express myself? How will I explain my love for you? How will I reveal to you what your heart feels for me? For I know when we meet, we will melt away…in each other’s arms.

I am typing this…hoping that our timelines collide and somehow through digital interference you get to read this in your own multiverse. I think if you read it(presuming you are not reading it already), then you might figure out the whole goddamn connection. Maybe in your Universe, there is time travel available. Maybe you can hop into some hi-tech piece of computation and visit me here. Yes here, on my humble Earth.

My Earth may be slightly polluted, but she is very beautiful. When you come, maybe I can take you to Goa. Maybe you have a Goa in your Universe. Wow!

Let me share a quote with you…You are all about me – I seem to breathe you – hear you – feel you in me and of me…Katherine Mansfield wrote that to her lover. In case you don’t know who she is, well…she is probably one of the best short story writers in the world and a feminist icon. She is my favourite and has been my muse for a screenplay I wrote based on her love life. She had a tempestuous love life BTW.

The quote sort of echoes what I feel about you.  How succinctly she puts it…feel you in me and of me…SUBLIME! We are of each other- star dust, my Beloved.

Have you felt like that about someone? Is that someone me? Just ask your heart.

I have visualised us making love. So many, so many times that it drives me nuts to even think about it. This obsession with you has now become all consuming and I cannot stop thinking about you. Sleepless have I become in this 3D illusion, my Beloved.

In a way your love woke me up. From the dense vibrations of this manifestation. It brought with it a subtlety of feeling and emotion and of course creative fire. I have become a poet for you, for your love.

I have become a dancer for the music you play. Tell me Beloved, are you CONSCIOUSLY PLAYING THAT MUSIC? Or are you just as unaware as I am.

You are my nightmare as much as my dream.

You are my smile as much as my scream.

 

Let me end here before I go crazy.

 

 

 

Lucid Dream: Twinflames and Mary Magdalene~~

gianluca

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity. ~~ W. B. YEATS

Fragmented pieces swim in the seas of my consciousness. A cacophony of sounds. A kaleidoscope of lights. The moment is crackling with suspense as I know I am about to enter into one of the most prophetic visions I have ever had.

Chiron is retrograde in 29 degrees of Pisces which is my SEVENTH HOUSE. My Moon is here too and “Chiron can be thought of as a boat allowing us to cross the deep ocean providing navigation, direction and a safe passage to being who we are meant to be.” says Erin Frances, an eminent astrologer. Chiron is taking me for these astral journeys. Chiron is making me the wounded healer I am meant to be. Welcome to my LUCID ASTRAL VISION.

A tangled tapestry of sights and sounds.

EXT. WIDE MEADOW. TWILIGHT

A dripping sound, like a leaking tap.  A female voice hums a lullaby. The sound of flapping wings is heard.

Then: A raw and primal, jagged and out of breath panting is heard.

FADE IN:

Tina, a girl of around nine years old is sprawled in the ground.

A HUMMINGBIRD flutters right in front of her.

She stares at it, steadies her breath and then reaches out to touch it.

The HUMMINGBIRD floats close. It approaches the girl and positions itself right in front of her eyes.

She stares at the bird’s pupils.

C.U of her pupils. They dilate.

She lets out a primal scram and touches her nose. A red line of blood runs down.

Slow Motion: The blood trickles to her knees and she looks down.

The HUMMINGBIRD flutters its wings and takes off.

Tina stares at it. Something coils in her stomach.

She begins to run towards the HUMMINGBIRD that is now seen as a dot in the distance.

THUD. Tina falls through the proverbial rabbit hole.

Silhouettes of humans, beasts and hybrids dance in the shadows. Fear gripping her insides, she tries to look down.

She feels sick. The blood has now dried up.

The cacophony of voices swim into her consciousness from time to time.

VOICE 1: There she goes. Look there. Look at her.

VOICE 2: It’s all over. What now? Kaput!

Horrid laughter fills her ears, she falls to the floor, dishevelled and enervated.

 

Suddenly she can hear it. The flapping of the hummingbird. CLOSE ON HER EYES- she looks up with hope.

FADE TO BLACK:

That is how the vision began. I wrote it as a screenplay to give it that visual feel. To start you off with pictures. Can you visualise the little girl Tina around 9?

Let’s move on with the vision. This happened to me in broad daylight. Not while I was meditating. Not while I was dreaming, but while I was writing in front of my computer. The screen just began to fade to black and I could hear static noise. My psychic energy must have been at an all time high, because I had just started bleeding and it was the Capricorn FM next to dear Pluto. And of course I am going through some interesting alignments and aspects in my own life, astrologically speaking.

This has happened to me before. My visions come to me in wave patterns, totally non linear. I blank out and then return. I write about many such visions in my novel, THE PLAN which should be published soon. I have given them the garb of fiction, but they are in fact reality. Sometimes I can hear a piercing sound after these visions. I used to get headaches before, but now with my spiritual practices, I have managed to heal myself from all that left over psychic debris.

The Hummingbird has been visiting me since very long. In my dreams and in my visions. I never realised their connection to Mezoamerican civilisation when I was about twelve.

Now as you can see at the beginning of the lucid astral experience, I felt absolutely paranoid. I felt scared, fearful and abandoned. I felt like a helpless child of nine. But somewhere deep down that hummingbird gave me hope.

It was like a flicker of abject inspiration. My muse of last hours. It’s complicated to describe the way I felt. The Hummingbird flies off into the distance.

My phone rings. I go to answer it, but suddenly a video call comes through. Only this is no ordinary video call. It’s like a hologram popping out from my phone and standing right in front of me. This figure is straight from some computer game and she has a lower body, but three faces. Three distinct faces. They someone reminded me of the Morrigan, the triple Celtic Goddess. Though at that time I thought they were the three hags from Macbeth. I was frantic and out of breath.

There was a track playing in the background. I did not know for the life of me what language it was in. It sounded like it was played through a gramophone. My grandfather had one of those things and I was obsessed with it during my childhood.

The hologram of the Morrigan began to disintegrate. Like fragmented digital bits of information. Do you know I have seen the fragmentation of reality, MATRIX style, even before the film was made. I was very young when I first started to see reality breaking away into digital bits. Made sense to me with the computer revolution. My vision made sense. I had glimpsed into the matrix.

After this the SCREEN goes DARK. FADE TO BLACK:

Suddenly I am in Goa, by the beach, in a place called Small Vagator. I sit on the sands drawing a MANDALA in the sand awkwardly. The wind keeps slapping away my design, but I persist. No matter how hard I try, I am not being able to even draw a circle that will stay in the wind. Nothing stays. IMPERMANENCE. What a way to learn it?

The Monks actually do draw the MANDALAS with sand and then they destroy them after the ritual and meditation. Yes, even in complex initiation ceremonies like the KALACHAKRA TANTRA.

My conscious mind may be learning patience and perseverance by this apparently futile task of painting a mandala in the sand. If the wind doesn’t blow it away, the water will wash it off. Kind of like our lives. No matter how hard we try to hold onto things, they just slip away. The harder we try, the more frustrated we get. NOTHING REMAINS!

Reminds me of this poem of Tagore~~ Nothing lasts forever. Click the link to enjoy~

I look at the Goa seas. They look sunny and happy. But deep down I know there is a dark undertone there. In a second, the skies change. The sea roars and the waves dance ominously. But I sit there. I don’t know why? There is a sense of surrender with this task. Surrender to the force of the Earth who is my mother, my mentor and my guide.

Take me, I whisper. Take me. But no. It is not my time. The Hummingbird is back. Flapping its wings. A rebirth?

Looking up the hummingbird and Mayan connection I found  Huitzilopochtli, the  deity of war, sun, human sacrifice and the patron of the city of Tenochtitlan!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huitzilopochtli

According to this legend, he was the smallest son of four—his parents being the creator couple Tonacatecutli and Tonacacihuatl while his brothers were Quetzalcoatl and the 2 Tezcatlipocas. His mother and father instructed both him and Quetzalcoatl to bring order to the world. And so, together they made fire, the first male and female humans, created the Earth, and made a sun. ~~WIKI

This archetypal myth resonates with me on such a deep level. It is the story of DOUBLE TWINFLAMES. Do you see it? The first pair of male, female. The creation myth!

He is a fire God, associated with the Sun(SOLAR DEITY) and I am also burning with this fire energy, so it made sense. My ruler is also the Sun! War? I am still exploring my connection to Mesoamerica by using a method called EVOLUTIONARY ASTROLOGY where you study the NODES OF THE MOON, the 12TH HOUSE, the 8TH HOUSE, SATURN, RETROGRADE PLANETS and INTERCEPTED PLANETS, SIGNS and HOUSES.

My NN is in Virgo and SN in Pisces. My 12th house is jampacked- Mercury, the Sun at 0 degrees, Saturn at 26 degrees in Leo! And I have a bunch of retrograde planets in my natal chart. Our bodies hold much of the old programming and it is the job of this 12th house to DESTROY those patterns once and for all. Losses and deaths! 12th house, the house which makes one a philosopher!

Another origin story tells of a fierce goddess, Coatlicue, being impregnated as she was sweeping by a ball of feathers on Mount Coatepec. Her other children, who were already fully grown, were the four hundred male Centzonuitznaua and the female deity Coyolxauhqui. These children, angered by the manner by which their mother became impregnated, conspired to kill her. Huitzilopochtli burst forth from his mother’s womb in full armor and fully grown. He attacked his older brothers and sister, defending his mother by beheading his sister and casting her body from the mountain top. He also chased after his brothers, who fled from him and became scattered all over the sky. ~~WIKI

The above story is so rich with symbolism and so pertinent to our times. Why can’t we all be like Huitzilopochtli? Why can’t we all protect the Earth? Isn’t she all our mother? Is that what the Hummingbird was telling me? To join in with my Twinflame and help the ascension process of our beloved Gaia.

The vision gets really complex now as I stand up to receive the HUMMINGBIRD in my hand. She lands perfectly and stares right at me. This time my heart fills with love and there is no fear. Yes the storm looms large. I am scared, but nope, I am not giving into fear or panic. nu-uh!

The Hummingbird kisses my fingers and takes off. The feeling is ethereal! The rain comes crashing down in a silvery sheet. The sound is deafening. I am soaking wet as I run to take shelter in the shack, but there is no one there. It is dark and nothing can be seen. There was a voice telling me, “You weren’t you, you were Tina…”

WTF? I am that person. I am Tina. Or am I? Who am I? Confusion was building inside.

The voice kept asking me, “So you believe? You believe?”

I wanted to scream. YES I BELIEVE. But believe what? I wanted to believe every single thing- life, death, sorrow, pleasure and pain. There is only believe in every fibre of my being!

Suddenly the rain quietened. I walk out to the beach, a wet mess. Not a person in sight. I have never seen that particular beach to look that empty. Not a soul in sight. I sat down as the Sun began to set.

Far away in the distance, I see this cloaked figure. Who is that out in the sea?

For a moment, I felt fear as the candle I light is blown away by the wind, and then a sudden warmth envelops me. The figure floats towards me. It is Mary Magdalene herself. She is the very feminine energy I dote on, my Beloved, my SPIRIT GUIDE. Today I sensed she wanted to be called Magdalene. Not anything else.

I must mention here that patriarchy has labelled Magdalene as a WHORE, because she was not like your common woman who wanted to just be a wife, mother and homemaker. Not that there is anything wrong with wanting any of that. It’s just that some women do not necessarily seek out that role. Like me. I never thought I would be someone’s wife, because marriage is a failed institution to me and the role of a stay at home wife never appealed to me. Motherhood is fantastic, but domesticity is not he be all and end all of my existence. And it never will be. I am forever a WANDERER, an Artist, a dreamer. Some women need to run wild and free. They cannot be chained and society should not try to.

Mary Magdalene is the WILD FEMININE ENERGY that is not meant to be a normal woman. Although she was a TANTRIC HIGH PRIESTESS they called her a prostitute. She was the wealth of the world, but they vilified her and degraded her sacredness to the point where she is forgotten in the world today. She is not one of the original disciples. No. She is a MASTER in her own right and taught Yeshua tantra. She is his yin, his balance. The mystic they called Jesus is her twinflame. On his name they started one of the most bloodiest religions in the world. That is what patriarchy has done for us. Taken sacred teachings from the feminine womb of wisdom and have corrupted and bastardised it to suit their own needs and agendas.

It was Mary Magdalene who initiated me in accepting myself as a sexual being. I fought long and hard against it. At a point I was having sex just to feel nothing. The act of being with someone became an addiction. A reason to stay away from feeling too deeply. Sex was never this magical and open, like so many women out there who hide their sexual feelings. 30% women regularly orgasm and an appalling number fake it. What else can they do? Expressing ourselves sexually would mean that we would be labelled and judged. Slut, bitch, whore etc. I do not care, but most women do, as they continue faking orgasms thinking sex is just a chore. Most women have sex to please their guys, without realising how much good sex would please them. The woman’s body is a pleasure trove. She has endless desires and a much stronger libido than men. Although she has been made to forget it. NEWSFLASH~~ LADIES, PLEASE STOP FAKING ORGASMS. You are spoiling the men. Show then what you like and how its done. Guide them.

Mary Magdalene showed me that not only is it okay to accept my sexual feelings, but to celebrate them, explore them. In fact, opening up to the sexual alchemy without guilt or shame has brought me closer to spirituality. I feel awakened in all ways, more than I have ever been. I feel creatively charged and connected to my twinflame. Ready to accept him inside of me. Makes me hot! I am in the process of making many life changing shifts and hopefully soon I will be in Goa able to connect to his energy. I know that is where I will meet him.

Doing away with old values, patterns can be hard, but it is worth the try. To live more authentically. When we face our inner demons, although sexuality is not a demon, but has been made into one by the fucking bourgeoisie. Societal hypocrisy is what gets me.

Mary Magdalene gave me a few messages for you and she has promised to help all of you heal your sexual wounds. She will also help you come to terms with your sexual desires.

CHANNELLED MESSAGES~~ Jotting them down randomly.

  1. You can never experience twinflame love unless you love yourself.
  2. Twinflame love is NOT ABOUT ROMANCE.
  3. There is a strong sense of purpose.
  4. There is a desire to heal people and the Earth and support the 5D ASCENSION PROCESS taking place.
  5. Strengthen this new LIGHTWORKER ENERGY GRID.
  6. Healing ancestral and familial wounds. Twinflames often incarnate with an imbalance in their early childhood so they can work through these issues and solve the. Although I come from a stable home, my life has been rocked by some hardcore events in my early childhood. I am working everyday to heal these scars. They are deep, but they will heal.
  7. Twinflames, when they are done, will teach all of HUMANITY new things, ideas and concepts about RELATIONSHIPS. They are not jealous in the conventional sense.
  8. Usually a twinflame relationship is female led. Like Shakti is on Shiva’s chest because she is the PRINCIPLE CREATIVE FORCE, similarly the partner with developed yin energy must lead the relationship with compassion and intuition.
  9. All twinflames must go through a stage of SEPARATION. Yes as hard as that sounds, it happens a lot.
  10. Let your INNER CHILD out to play. Heal yourself.
  11. Express all your emotions. Never keep them bottled up. Cry, laugh, chuckle, sing, dance…
  12. Most importantly Mary Magdalene tells me that even if we have not found our TWINFLAME, we must embark on the journey ourselves. In due course he will join.
  13. Although you may be super attracted to your twinflame, this attraction is unlike the usual CONSUME and devour types. Your sexual desires come from a sacred space of love and not of fear and possession.
  14. Twinflames are independent and in their power when they finally join in union.
  15. Lastly, meeting your twinflame will be like the SECOND COMING OF CHRIST. Through sexual energy fusion, you can experience the COMING OF CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS. The most beautiful sexual alchemy.

I am waiting to hear your twinflame story~~

 

tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

Image copyright Gianluca