Energy Update~Channelled writing

I have been feeling extremely charged with cosmic energy the last few weeks. The Lionsgate Activation, the NM on my birthday in Leo on the 23rd of July, then the FM on my partner’s sign and now the eclipse on my natal Saturn.

Now forget the astro…

BE MENTALLY ACTIVE AT ALL TIMES NOW.

The Solar flares have been insane and other celestial entities are also vroooming the Earth with massive loads of energy. The spirits, fairies, angels or whatever you call them are out and about.

The retrograde planets are adding to the drama and in two days Merc stations retro and is now in shadow! Fuck! Merc in the shadow period is DEADLY and most mistakes happen now.

Listen my Beloved, the energies will only intensify, so please stay connected to whatever or whoever raises your frequency. This is not the time to be fixated on something or someone that brings down your resonance. This is not the time…

Find your MUSE! This is a creativity overflow- so tap into it. Make love to someone beautiful. Your UNCONSCIOUS is rife with material…use it, help us all. Working with ANIMAL and PLANT SOULS can be sooooo healing right now.

The Activation of this portal made me think of my Lion, my Twinflame and what can I say….such profound memories and vibes penetrated deep in me that I know he feels me too. He knows me and is thinking of me as much as I of him. But probably in another dimension. In another parallel world?

The other day, someone from Russia(another psychic) told me that she thinks my twinflame is reading my writing and that got me thinking…

Maybe I should write an open letter to him. He might read it in another DAUGHTER UNIVERSE. Ha!

Okay now listen…

I was listening to all these NASA audios of the planets and while invoking Saturn, I was listening to the sounds he makes and then suddenly, I lost consciousness. I was in another dimension and I do not remember anything.

But listen…what I discovered is that there is a HUGE AMOUNT OF ENERGY coming from the GALACTIC CENTRE WHERE SATURN IS RETROGRADE.

Of course our SPIRITUAL SUN is illumining the collective consciousness with all these bombardments. My Beloved…

There is no place to hide now…

There is also a BLACK HOLE at the centre of the MILKY WAY and there is so much happening put there that we humans who are like ants to these heavenly giants are also feeling it strongly.

Do you know Andromeda is cannibalising the milky way?

https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/hubble/science/milky-way-collide.html

My SPIRITUAL GUIDES tell me that there is imbalance right now in our neck of the woods(eh cosmos?)

Listen, all energy workers are going crazy, because some of us are really not ready to deal with this type of work. It can drive you crazy.

But this is no time to hide.

Listen…

These intense waves of energy is literally made me feel so tuned in and charged that it is hard to explain in words. I feel so orgasmic, so many times without any sexual stimulation. I know the energy is working all the time. Sexual energy is the very crux of creative power.

Now how can I explain the feeling I have been having since my birthday?

There is a humming I hear at times, sounds a bit like a deep OM. Then there are sudden pressure waves that attack my frontal lobe. Headaches, no I do not think they can be called that….whatever these feelings are, whatever is going on in my brain is stupendous.

Sometimes the process is becoming painful and there is strife. It is easy to provoke me now. I am in a state of nostalgia. I don’t know for what or who.

My THROAT CHAKRA and my SOLAR PLEXUS are supremely active.

And on top of that I began to bleed a day before the Aquarius FM. I always bleed with the cycles of the Moon. And my psychic visions are much more powerful when I bleed.

If the pressure gets too much ground yourself.

Hug a tree.

If nothing else works and you need a friend, pm me.

The frequency is rising and the time is coming…

For twinflames to meet…

Oh and do not get upset by your body…

No matter what happens, love your body. This message is not just for my sisters, it applies to my brothers out there too. Thank your body. Talk to it and show it love. Touch yourself sensually as you would a lover. Learn what makes your body tick, so when you join with your twinflame you know WHAT FEELS RIGHT.

Triggers, triggers, triggers…everywhere…CONFRONT YOUR FEARS. Think of what matters.

Don’t cave in. Don’t succumb. Don’t lose yourself.

There was such a profound sadness I felt during the eclipse. That night I dreamt of the cremation grounds. That night I saw myself sitting alone, in front of the flames and breathing.

Yes there was fear in me, but there was also a calm. Slowly watching the fire dance, I realised that fear and calm had become ONE. The flames were flickering and distorted sounds were coming to my ears. Chants, mantras, voices from my past…

Then I saw Ramnath Aghori baba, who is known to be one of the supremely realised yogis from the NATH AGHORA tradition. He has been guiding my journey since the Maha Kumbh mela of 2010.

Ramnath baba was sitting opposite and in his hands, there was the DUMRU. Yes the dumru of Shiva. I heard the primordial NADA or sound of the dumroo and still now I as I write my body is full of goose bumps.

I saw Baba Ramnath take so many shapes- Gorakhnath, Matsyedranath, Shiva, my father, someone who molested me…his face took on so many identities.

Almost like the FACELESS MEN from GOT! But I just sat and watched him.

I seriously have no recollection of what I felt, but I think the message was clear- ALL IS ONE. This vision made my resolve even stronger. I want to write more about tantra. Explore it for people who might not be scholars or yogis. I have always wanted to get those stories out there.

Now cut back to the story… Staring at Ramnath baba and the flames flickering, the sounds drowning my thoughts…that is when a DARKNESS began to envelope my consciousness…that darkness is KALI.

There is nothing here my Beloved..there is only LOVE.

What else do you seek in this illusion?

The Universe wants to know what love is. But how is consciousness going to know what feeling, touching, kissing, making love feels like?

Consciousness has to create holograms like you and me. Real thinking and feeling holograms….to know love, death, pain, anger, sadness, melancholia, orgasmic bliss and all shades of emotions.

I know this eclipse season something within me has been UNLEASHED. I feel this presence strongly. Sometimes it feels foreign, sometimes it feels like me.

This presence of love, of bliss, of orgasmic ecstasy.

Where have the eclipse energies taken you? What frequency are you vibrating at?

The energy is OFF THE CHARTS and it is available to you My Beloved.

Remember I love you, I believe in you and will always do.

Beloved, I am yours for you are mine. I am in you and you in me. We are ONE!

Like the stars above. They are in us and we in them!

The Schumann Resonance Is Spiking – Mother Earth Is Awakening

A great Awakening has been unfolding on Planet Earth and many people have been able to sense it. In recent years the heart beat of the planet has begun to speed up and the consciousness of humanity is expanding and making way for more awareness.~~Higherdensityblog

Collectively we are raising Gaia’s vibrations as we lay the foundations of a new age- of love…love…love…

Let us CO-CREATE our SAGA OF LOVE.

Kali, Kali, Kali

“DARKNESS ALONE FILLED THE BOUNDLESS ALL, FOR FATHER, MOTHER AND SON WERE ONCE MORE ONE, AND THE SON HAD NOT AWAKENED YET FOR THE NEW WHEEL, AND HIS PILGRIMAGE THEREON.” ~~HPB

KALI MANTRA FOR INVOCATION~~

Sarvamaṅgalamāṅgalyē śivē sarvārthasādhikē . śaraṇyē tryambakē gauri nārāyaṇi namō’stu tē. Oṃ jayantī mangala kālī bhadrakālī kapālinī . durgā ksamā śivā dhātrī svāhā svadhā namō’stu‍tē

The DARK GODDESS has been the anchor of my soul in the turbulent seas of samsara. My support system, my provocateur, my muse, my melancholia…I could go on forever, for she or that energy exists in everything, everyone and every experience.

Sometimes, tears stream down my face and I think that WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH! Is there any end to my avaricious wants, desires and needs? After going through so much, so much pain, am I still not done wanting more? Everything dies. Everything vanishes. Everything fades away. Confronted with my own mortality, thoughts cease to function with the same effectiveness.

Kali, listen to me, and stop this torture. Put an end to this 3D illusion, you DARKNESS. And please, by DARK, I DO NOT MEAN EVIL!

HPB discusses DARKNESS “…in the sense of the Unmanifested and the Unknown as the opposite pole to manifestation, and that which falls under the possibility of speculation. … it is not Darkness as absence of Light, but as one incomprehensible primordial Principle, which, being Absoluteness itself, has for our intellectual perceptions neither form, colour, substantiality, nor anything that could be expressed by words.”

Even the BIBLE states, “darkness surrounds the pavilion” of God!

Absolute Light and Absolute Darkness are interchangeable terms, as are Absolute Consciousness and Absolute Unconsciousness. Duality is the very harmonics of this resonance!

Kali’s bosom is my place of retreat and I can feel her embrace as I look at the dark night around me. The night envelops me in her arms and it is none other than my DARK ONE. How can I love the FORCE OF TIME? That random abstract principle? I cannot. I can only think of her as Kali.

Being Bengali, you grow up with a healthy dose of everything Kali. And there I discovered some of the most precious gems in the form of verses written by a Mystical Poet in Bengal. His name was Rajanikanto. Those verses echoed every single thought of my six year old brain. I used to know them by heart at that age.

How could a child grasp, to some extent this LARGENESS OF EMOTION. This gorgeousity of devotional fervour! I mean how? I don’t know. Even today I am perplexed. All I remember is locking myself in the room, listening to the cassette tapes again and again, sobbing my eyes out. It was like every word pricked my consciousness to remind me of WHO I AM.

Who am I? Who is Kali? What is this world? Why are we here?

See I bifurcate again. I was talking about those mystical verses. In one of them, the poet has written…

No one on Earth loves.

In fact, this Earth does not know how to love.

Take me away, to where there is only LOVE.

My heart craves for such a place…

Got me evaluating at a very young age. What does LOVE mean in the 3D realm of duality?

Seriously guys…what the fuck does love mean?

What does it mean to you? What does it mean to your family?

Who do you extend that love to?

The answers to these questions fester like putrid stuff in the quagmire of my mind. There is no resolution for there is no love. LOVE IS LOST.

Kali has taught me how to LOVE. By making sure that I break my conscious paradigm again and again, she has made sure that I AM LEFT WITH NO OPTION TO LOVE.

To be a child of Kāli, Rāmprasād asserts, is to be denied of earthly delights and pleasures. Kāli is said to refrain from giving that which is expected, I quote from Wiki, but trust me I know exactly what this means.

After making sure that nothing goes the way I want, Kali made me see that DESIRE IS INDEED THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL. Does that mean that I have no desires? I still do, the stupid 3D being that I am. Everyday is a lesson learnt. Life is not what I want it to be, because life is just the way it is meant to be.

Didn’t Lao Tsu try to drill this ACCEPTANCE part of existence into our collective consciousness? He failed. Human know nothing about acceptance. And I speak of myself…can I truly JUST BE? Think about it. A state of JUST BEING does not equate to a state of NON BEING.

Of course I will initiate karma in this world as my desires push me to, but then I have to accept that there will be DISAPPOINTMENTS and Kali showed me how to grow from that disappointment. All this pain, resentment and anger inside me, she, the COSMIC MOTHER soothed away. Like only mothers can. Who will stand up for this?

The father can never calm the baby the way a mother can. After all, it is her physiology that creates the child. The father is the seed. The MILKY WAY is a mother BTW. Yes she is feminine.

The Milky Way (feminine) and Andromeda (masculine) are simply a galactic expression of this principal. ~~http://moonbirdblog.com

They are the SHIVA/SHAKTI as galaxies. Whoa! Something to ponder about.

Yet, why is there rampant patriarchy ruling the Earth when indeed, she is feminine, just like her mother, the Milky Way. That is the imbalance.

Kali is the unrestrained, most secretive feminine principle that carries withing it eternal mysteries of fertility, magic, death, birth and regeneration! And that POWER is external as well as internal. Do not believe me? Everyone has an internal Kali. It is true.

AS ABOVE SO BELOW

In those mystical verses, the Poet sings…

Everything happens because you will it so,

You are the Will of the Universe, Oh Tara,

You execute whatever needs to be executed through me.

And the foolish think, it is my feat!

It is your INTERNAL KALI, that PRIMEVAL, CATACLYSMIC, SUPREME POWER that does what you need to do. Your karma or actions all arise from a deep spiritual unconscious that is manifested in 3D from the etheric fields as they SOLIDIFY.

Yes SPIRITUAL UNIVERSES solidify and become dense. That is when Universal forces of SHIVA/KALI come to play. And it is these forces that play through everything. The ETERNAL TWINFLAMES creating Universes to experience, grow, love, hurt, cry and die. Shiva/Shakti as mere mortals. As you and me.

This age is in dire need of Kali’s benevolence…OF HER DARK FORM.

“THE SEVEN SONS WERE NOT YET BORN FROM THE WEB OF LIGHT. DARKNESS ALONE WAS FATHER-MOTHER, SVABHAVAT; AND SVABHAVAT WAS IN DARKNESS.” ~~HPB

Do not be fearful of her wrathful emanation! Nobody understands Kali.

There is so much DISTORTION in her myths, so much SENSATIONAL YELLOW JOURNALISM done on her person(sounds familiar? Like any other woman),, that her story is lost to the world of patriarchy.

People are fearful of her. Even today, in India, I have had people see her image on the wall and comment how it is DANGEROUS to keep an image of her at home. I mean is every single Bengali household doing it wrong? Kali, whether she is worshipped or whether she hangs as a feminist symbol, can be seen pretty much in every house in Calcutta.

She is a part of our History. She is our guide. She is our mother. She is our consciousness.

Kali is ALL-CONQUERING! So whatever it is that you want to win over, there is no better YIDAM or meditation deity than her. So invoke her if you need to work with this SEVERANCE energy.

Kali is not a Vedic Goddess. She is a tantric Goddess and she is MAHAMAYA, the manifested reality. She stands on KALA, or ETERNAL TIME and become SPACE.

Space is dark, Kali is dark.

Kālī is the feminine form of kālam (“black, dark coloured”). Kālī also shares the meaning of “time” or “the fullness of time” with the masculine noun “kāla”—and by extension, time as “changing aspect of nature that bring things to life or death.” Other names include Kālarātri(“the black night”), and Kālikā (“the black one”).

The homonymous kāla, “appointed time”, which depending on context can mean “death”, is distinct from kāla “black”, but became associated through popular etymology. ~~WIKI

Tantra texts call KALI, KALASHAKTI, the REASON OF CAUSATION!

There is no stop to this play, this eternal play that is going on between the masculine and the feminine. They stop not for a moment. For if they stopped their exchange of energy, everything ceases to be. Nothing remains.

This HOLOGRAM, stacked UNIVERSES, Daughter Universes…everything manifests because of SHIVA/SHAKTI. Call them what you like! They are the binary!

The Kalikula (family of Kali) form of Shaktism is most dominant in Nepal, northern and eastern India, and is most widely prevalent in West Bengal, Assam, Bihar and Odisha, as well as parts of Maharashtra, Bangladesh and some parts of Kerala. Kalikula lineages focus upon the Devi as the source of wisdom (vidya) and liberation (moksha). They generally stand “in opposition to the brahmanic tradition,” which they view as “overly conservative and denying the experiential part of religion.” ~~WIKI

Kali is the principle deity. So you see, how she has been up in arms against the patriarchal Vedic religion which even denied women the right to become priests.

My Ancestors have a special connection to Kali other than just being from Bengal. My grandmother comes from a family which were the main Brahmin Priests and caregivers of Kali and her temple in Calcutta. They were Haldars and there is a street named after my ancestor. Everyone knows the HALDARS even today and our connection to the place is also no secret.

My grandmother’s grandmother used to take a dip in the Ganges first thing in the morning(crack of dawn) and open the temple with the aarthi. I have so many stories from my grandmother that I wish to share. Stuff she heard from her grandmother. And then of course what bonded us was the love we shared for Kali. It stretched across generations and mitochondrial DNA. So standing before you, a Priestess of the hoary past…:)

I will continue my saga of love for my DARK ONE and I suggest to you that if you have not researched her, then please do. See for yourself, if the DARK ONE speaks to you and let me know.

I will speak of Bamakhyapa, Ramnath Aghori, Paramhamsa Vishuddhananda and of course Sarada ma, Vivekananda and much more…but for now I leave you with a profound thought from the Sage Ramakrishna…

Kali is none other than Brahman. That which is called Brahman is really Kali. She is the Primal Energy. When that Energy remains inactive, I call It Brahman, and when It creates, preserves, or destroys, I call It Shakti or Kali. What you call Brahman I call Kali. Brahman and Kali are not different. They are like fire and its power to burn: if one thinks of fire one must think of its power to burn. If one recognises Kali one must also recognise Brahman; again, if one recognises Brahman one must recognise Kali. Brahman and Its Power are identical. It is Brahman whom I address as Shakti or Kali.

 

 

 

Neptune Retrograde 2017~~

Neptune is a most mystical and, from the level of the Soul, a most benefic influence in one’s life. Neptune is the expression in the solar system of the heart of the spiritual Sun. It is the planet most closely linked with the work of the Soul in manifestation and is thus the vehicle for the Christ consciousness, which is indeed at the Heart of Divinity. Through Cancer, Neptune may be thought of as the higher octave of the Moon. The latter is the Mother of All Forms, but form is always used in our solar system to express Love/Wisdom, the Second Ray, the Soul aspect of Spirit. We know this to be, when manifesting in the Human Kingdom, ~Love Incarnate~ – the indwelling Christ Principle. ~~ESOTERIC ASTROLOGY, Alice Bailley

Neptune unites us to our SOULMATES and TWINFLAMES. How very exciting! If you channel this energy, you might be able to connect to the etheric body of your Twinflame. Are you willing to try? If your INTENT is strong, it is possible.

Neptune is the eighth furthest planet from the sun in our solar system, the fourth largest in diameter and the third most massive. The planet is named after the Roman God of the Sea, Neptune and RULES ALL THINGS OCCULT.

8 is the first cube of energy, and is the only evenly even number within the decad. The Greeks thought it an all-powerful number; they had a Proverb “all things are eight.” 8 is INFINITY flipped over! 888 is the special number of Jesus Christ as “He who is the Resurrection and the Life.” He is the great opponent of the 666, the number of the Beast, the number of a Man. It is now crystal clear how Neptune is linked to the GREAT WHITE BROTHERHOOD or SHAMBALA!

On July 23(on my birthday :O ), there is a Roman Holiday called Neptunalia, that was made in honour of Neptune. I have decided to get an aquamarine dress for the occasion to invoke Neptune as he loves that colour. Try this yourself. Use colours to enliven this vibe. For me this Neptune Retrograde is touching upon private matters of sex, recreation, creativity and intuition and bringing to forefront these issues which I have to deal with. You need to look at your natal chart to see where this will affect you. Oh and do you know you can invoke Neptune for rain? Yes you can bring rain with a bit of Neptunian magick! And you can do this with meditation!

Neptune rules the astrological sign Pisces (along with Jupiter)
Colours: Green, blue, lavender
Minerals: Coral, aquamarine, platinum, neptunium
Body Part: the thalamus and spinal column
Action: Dissolving boundaries, expanding upon ideas, changing established rules
Represents: Intuition, idealism, sacrifice, glamour, illusion, evolution and decay

The Tarot Card for Neptune is THE HANGED MAN! Keywords for this card are

  • LETTING GO
  • REVERSAL
  • SUSPENSION
  • SACRIFICE

Think of where you need to let go? Think of how you can create a reversal of fortunes? Think of how why you feel suspended? Do you feel suspended? Are you sacrificing too much? Try to understand how the force of PARADOX is operating in your life.

Go and watch a play if you can. I am planning to go for one this Saturday at the NCPA. Theatre can bring to surface a lot of unconscious material. It always does so for me. Of course I have worked in Theatre, as an Actor, as well as a Writer and also as the Director’s Assistant. Theatre is an old lover of mine and boy, do I like making love to him! 😉

“One of the most occult of the planets, Neptune, presides over the ‘devas of the waters’; their presiding deva Lord, Varuna, the Raja of the astral plane, being an emanation from that planet.” ~~Alice Bailley

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varuna

Varuna is the King of the Nagas. He is depicted as a Blue Being accompanied by a court of Nagas or with a chariot drawn by seven white swans. It was said that the swans use to be black but though the blessing of Varuna he transformed their colour into a white milk-like substance. Later on in history he became just the God of the Sea and all the rivers and that is why he is recognised as the Naga King. Varuna is the deity of the sunsets. He is the symbol of the sun that sinks into the horizon in the West and travels to the other side, East by nigh, a symbol of that which we cannot see. A symbol of the UNKNOWABLE. Inexplicable!

Varuna mantra purifies the physical and emotional bodies and brings to the surface discordant emotional patterns hidden deep within the sea of the unconscious. I have done this meditations as I sat near the sea in Goa.

Om Jala Bimbaya Vidmahe
Nila Purushaya Dhee Mahe
Thanno Varuna Prachodayath

The simple form is Om Vam Varunaya Namaha. Chant this by the sea and visualise the whole water body as the body of NEPTUNE or VARUNA!

Neptune takes about 164 years to do a complete revolution around the Sun, thus spending about 14 years in each sign of the Zodiac and when it moves into retrograde approximately every year, it stays so for around 150 days. During the retrograde our spirituality, BLISS, and vision(INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL) become the focal points. Do you feel awake in your dreams? Maybe you are LUCID DREAMING? Listen to your intuition at this stage for it will tell you all you need to know.

Neptune, neptune, is the soul above matter and open to inspiration and illumination or muddle and confusion, depending on how it is placed. Some people put a circle at the bottom of this symbol. This is spirit rising into both the soul and matter to inspire them with mysticism and transcend boundaries. ~~astro.com

Neptune is the Empath and Dreamer. A lot of us have Neptune in Sag and on this Friday Neptune stationing retrograde at 14° 16′ Pisces, the last and the most mystical sign of the Zodiac. The symbol of Neptune is a TRIDENT, like LORD SHIVA. It is a trinity and symbolises –

  • Birth, Life, Death
  • Mind, Body, Spirit
  • Past, Present, Future

The number 3 is one of the most important numbers in our world. It represents the trinity, unity, opposition and the beginning, middle and end. The creation of our world dividing time into morning, noon, evening, with the past, the present, and the future. With his 3 forked trident, Neptune holds power over the 3 principalities of heaven, the earth, and hell. ~~Gnostic Warrior

If you wish to explore MYTHS and LEGENDS or introduce your children to FAIRY TALES, this alignment is very supportive. Use this retro energy. And the campfire gatherings can be more exciting and thrilling with those ghost stories. If you are a HORROR FREAK, like me, then binge watch everything you can on Netflix! Like I plan to do on Sunday and whenever I get time. Cinema unravels a lot in the mind during this time.

One of the slower-moving celestial bodies (or “collective,” as their influence extends over generations), in the natal chart of anybody born between November 1970 to January 1984, and again briefly between June and November 1984, Neptune will be in Sagittarius, a sign where this deep-sea diver feels quite at home. ~~numinous.com

Neptune’s Retrograde motion is not felt as much as say a Venus or a Mercury, but he operates in the background and connects us to all magickal and supernatural realms.

Talking about magickal, Neptune rules FILMS, TELEVISION, our individual and collective IMAGINATION, our INSPIRATIONS or MUSES, psychedelics and other mind altering substances and POETRY!

What are you waiting for? Compose those sonnets you’ve always wanted to pen down? Write out those lines that are screaming inside of you asking to be unleashed. Explore the POET in you. Explore the PHOTOGRAPHER in you. Make a video and  upload it onto Youtube, see how the world reacts. This retrograde is a perfect time for that.

Neptune is the FAIRY TALE into which we escape, it is what keeps us bewitched! In it’s lower vibrations, it is pure delusion. Like that old lady in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM who got addicted to speed pills just because she wanted to lose weight and be on TV in her old red dress. That is the lower polarity of Neptune and we have to face it.

Over the years, as I have been consulting with people, I have seen that a lot of sexual abuse takes place during this retrograde. Of course other hard aspects are present, but there is more of the date-rape thing. More eve teasing. More rapes. So be CAREFUL with all caps!

If we have been deluding ourselves, this retrograde will force us to come out of this stupor, it could be drug induced too and address reality. If you have been lying to yourself about your relationship, then the cracks will start showing and it won’t be pretty. If you have run up a huge debt and have not yet restructured your finances and figured out other sources of income, then you will be in doldrums. No matter what you are running from, will come to bite you in the ass. No kidding! Be ready, be prepared. For that is what astrology can gift us!

Who will feel this retrograde the most?

Those who have hard natal aspects in the mutable signs at 14° are the ones most likely to be affected. For example, if you have a natal square between your Pisces Sun and Mars in Gemini at 14°, Neptune will be conjoining your Sun and triggering the natal square. Part of the reason we seldom notice troublesome Neptune events until well after the fact is because we’re in denial caused by Neptune in the first place. ~~Libraseekingbalance

Neptune spends the most time treading water in retrograde motion – 158 days every 12.07 months – a fitting pattern for the planet that also governs subconscious memories of distant childhood and even past lives. ~~numinous.com

Things that have not been understood, acknowledged and integrated in our deep psyches can now return to haunt us. Dreams become very POWERFUL. Dreams of PAST LIVES may occur. For someone like me who is into LUCID DREAMING, this time of Neptune swimming backwards gives me the most symbolic and prophetic dreams. And of course I am day dreaming a lot more as this time nears.

This is the time to listen to your INTUITION. This is a great time for MAGICK and RITUAL. If you are unsure, email me. Use your MENSTRUAL BLOOD for the rituals and it will be even more effective.

Neptune retrograde in the natal chart could often bring about memories from Past Lives. Some people who recollect their past incarnations have a strong Neptune placement and alignments. Past Life Regression therapy really works well now.

Dreams…

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~~Edgar Allan Poe

Do you remember the 2010 film INCEPTION? I had to bring it up, that famous dream-in-a-dream-in-a-dream is so Neptune retro energy and Christopher Nolan has created this twisted, fascinating dreamscape that is so detailed and precise that it is terrifying!

The whole DREAM EXPLORATION theme, in itself is Neptunian energy and so is the meaning of the title Inception. It is the practice of entering dreams and planting an idea in someone’s head.  That never-ending-staircase. Do you remember it? What do you think they symbolise? Paradoxes in life? They are logical fallacies that have no existence in reality. Kinda what Neptune shows us while it dissolves boundaries. It shows us the temporal nature of this 3D world.

The Moon veils Neptune just as, in the mass consciousness (Cancer) form veils the subjective love alive within the form. Yet in traditional astrology, the veil is taken to be Neptune and the illusion, or mask of form, is seen to be the influence of this planet. This is not the true essence or function of the God of the Waters, for Neptune comes to us from the Soul level as the Initiator, Planet of the Christ. It’s trident is symbolic of the Trinity (Shiva-Vishnu-Brahma; Father-Mother-Son; Will-Love-Intelligence); it’s recent purpose, to serve as the stimulator of the Piscean Age. ~~Esoteric Astrology

Alice Bailley tells us that the esoteric ruler of Cancer is Neptune and that links Scorpio to Cancer. Basically it brings together all the three water signs as Neptune has a deep relationship with each of them.

Neptune (with Venus and Jupiter) Active at the Second Initiation:
“At the second initiation, the candidate comes under the influence of three planets—Neptune, Venus and Jupiter. The three centres—solar plexus, heart and throat—are actively involved.” ~~Alice Bailley

It is imperative to understand that Neptune in its higher vibration is SPIRITUAL LOVE, the highest OCTAVE of VENUS. While Venus is about intimate sensuality, Neptune teaches us how to transmute that sensuality into divine spiritual union. That is the magick of this planet! It teaches us spiritual ascension through tantric sex!

Where Venus represents love and personal relationships, Neptune inspires us to open our hearts to Divine Love and a relationship with the Universe itself. ~~astrodynamics.com

Collectively, these three sets of planetary octavals and vibrations constitute what is known as the threefold, Triadic Astrological Body (TAB). By “threefold triadic body”, it is submitted that these three primary sets of astrological octavals govern the holistic attributes that constitute an individual’s soul:

  1. The mental body (Mercury/Uranus),
  2. The emotional body (Venus/Neptune), and
  3. The desire body (Mars/Pluto) ~~ astrologyclub.com

Planetary spirits belong to hierarchies of evolved beings who have dominion over planets and chains of globes.  They have passed through human stages of evolution in previous cycles. HPB stated that “The highest planetary spirit ruling over any globe is in reality the ‘Personal God’ of that planet and far more truly its ‘over-ruling providence’ than the self-contradictory Infinite Personal Deity of modern Churchianity” the Voice of the Silence states that “Every spiritual EGO is a ray of a ‘Planetary Spirit.’”

The Mahatma KOOT HOOMI wrote that the mission of the Planetary Spirit is “to strike the Key Note of Truth” which becomes the “innate ideas” of humanity (ML, pp. 59-60) and it is the PLANETARY SPIRIT OF NEPTUNE, the rules of PISCES, that teaches us TRUE SPIRITUALITY and COSMIC LOVE! And we are so ready now, as a collective to learn and absorb this lesson!

Neptune holds a very important place in the Aquarian Age. The goal of human evolution is to produce the Messiah, the Initiate, the Mahdi, the Coming One. ~~Esoteric Astrology

The AGE OF MAITREYA!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maitreya

Some people may be tapping into a lower vibration of this energy and pushing themselves as gurus and holy men when in reality they intend to delude. So spiritual con artists will be at work. BE-AWARE! But spiritual LIGHT WORKERS will show up in abundance too and it is up to us to use our discretion to figure out the true from the false!

Speaking of Inception-like dream-in-a-dream, I want to share one such dream that keeps coming to me. I am falling through a black hole and while falling I wake up and then I finally wake up in my bed. And this falling motif has suddenly began to resurface as Neptune is about to station retro. I am fascinated by dreams, so this is a wondrous time for me. Get your dream journal out! Seriously do it!

It may prove of interest to state that the planet Neptune does not belong to our Universal Solar System. While it is a “planet” in that it does revolve around our sun, in reality it is a “capture” — captured as other planets have taken to themselves “moons” (or more accurately, satellites, as each planet can have only one true moon). Furthermore, inasmuch as the planet Uranus revolves around our sun, it is a member of our Universal Solar System, though not of our Solar System. ~~Theosophy Wiki

Therefore Neptunian energies may feel ALIEN! Depending on how your chart is being triggered, you might begin to feel like the alien or the outsider. In that case, remember, we are all outsiders here as beings of pure light experiencing this 3D world of pain and pleasure, the two foremost binaries.

OPEN YOUR HEART to COSMIC LOVE, then you will be able to feel the healing blueness of Neptune work wonders in your life. Call upon SANGYE MENLA or the MEDICINE BUDDHA to heal you. Blue Tara also works wonders! She is also called Nila Saraswati.

Neptune was also considered the legendary progenitor god of a Latin stock, the Faliscans,
who called themselves Neptunia proles. In this respect he was the equivalent of Mars, Janus, Saturn and even Jupiter among Latin tribes. Salacia would represent the virile force of Neptune. Neptune is apparently also equivalent with Atlas, Uranus, Orion, and Venus. And every other name you can give to the Universe “Holos”.~~WIKI

spiritual-love

The best way to use this Neptune energy would be to MEDITATE near a water body. If possible, go to the sea. Just sit in silence and watch the waves crash on the shore. Just listen to the sea. Just smell the sea. You may visualise all your NEGATIVE THOUGHTS flowing into the sea and becoming drops of water. Cleanse yourself, mind, body and soul.

You can install a water sculpture or a fish tank in the North direction of your house. Feeding the fish and watching them swim around can be extremely therapeutic. Try it.

You can do regular foot baths at this time. Soak your feet in EPSOM SALT and visualise all the negativity leaving your body. Feel lighter. Activate the salt and water with mantras or intentions.

You can use the Neptune energy in any healing magick and spells associated with the spine, psychological illnesses, neuroses, nervous breakdowns or any mysterious sickness.

Call upon water sprites, nymphs and mermaids for manifestation and protection as they are activated by this Neptune Retrograde. Spenser, in The Faerie Queene, wrote of “their sweet skills in wonted melody, which ever after they abused to ill, to allure weak travellers, whom gotten, they did kill”. In many of his cantos he spoke of the mermaid as a dangerous lure to be dreaded by the knight-hero of the story. But Mermaids are divine beings like the Hindu Apsaras whose name means ‘moving on the (celestial) water’. They are often associated with the power of prophecy and may even grant wishes or protection. But their vengeance can be cruel, for they can whip the waves and sink ships as readily as lure the unsuspecting youth. That is just patriarchy destroying the power of the untamed female, like BLACK MOON LILITH! Don’t be afraid to BE-COME a MERMAID if you so desire. Yes even a little cosplay could add to the excitement.

A little bit of astrotalk…

BLACK MOON LILITH is squaring NEPTUNE in PISCES very closely as Neptune turns Retrograde on June 16 @  14+ Pisces.  They exactly square on Summer Solstice June 21st. 

It means that Neptune that rules over the Media, mental health, oil, pharma is reconstructing its dynamics with the untamed wild feminine aspect. Let’s just say that the way MEDIA looks at WOMEN will change forever. Go Wonder Woman!

Invisible worlds exist, scattered throughout apparent space, and they are “inhabited as thickly as our own”. H.P. Blavatsky wrote of the finny tribes which swarm in our familiar bodies of water as being analogous to the various races of Planetary, Elemental and other Spirits…So yes, Mermaids exist. Unicorns exist. Everything your mind can conceive of, also exists…

As Mercury is Lightbearer of the physical Sun, so Neptune is Lightbearer for the spiritual Sun, (called Vulcan by the Western Mystics). ~~ The Message of the Stars

It is believed that Neptune also rules over our PINEAL GLAND! If you are tuned into the cosmic energies, you will feel an itch in your third eye. It might even vibrate, like mine does sometimes. Practice tratak if possible for this will greatly energise your third eye. This greatly develops your PSYCHIC POWERS and ESP.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11552/10-minute-yoga-sequence-for-a-strong-flexible-spine.html

Try to begin this regime for spine health~~

Neptune retrograde 2017 aligns closely with the Moon to make this an especially sensitive time. As well as feeling more emotional and romantic, you may also feel suspicious of others and extremely vulnerable. Any alignment of the Moon with Neptune increases the risk of infection and illness. The stationing of Neptune retrograde is just one more astrological reason that increases this risk of health problems. I expect that during Neptune retrograde 2017 there will be an increase in infectious diseases as a result of epidemics or possibly a pandemic affecting millions of people. ~~Astrology King

Always use protection! And be mindful of not getting infected. Do not panic, just be aware. Eat healthy and deep breathe. I know that Empaths, Psychics and Sensitives will be greatly impacted by this retrograde. Eat a raw clove of GARLIC with honey on empty stomach. Eat GINGER with PINK HIMALAYAN ROCK SALT. You can also add Probiotics in your diet. Just ensure your immune system is doing fine. Burn incense and regularly give yourself massages that end with an ecstatic rapture! 😉

If you look after the TRINITY, body, mind and spirit, then your psyche will be FERTILE and ACTIVE with ARCHETYPAL SYMBOLISM from which you can channel infinite creativity, bliss and love. Your dreams will become Universes of their own…What type of a Universe will you create?

Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. ~~Khalil Gibran

Thank You~~

Email me tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

The Plan ~~ A Novel by Tinaheals

Notes from the underground
The home of my dreams-

Soft fleeting tears.

Marigolds in bloom.

 

I do not know how I began to tell this story. Why did I begin? It is nothingness, a deformity in my subconscious. It is just a pointless pursuit. It began where I don’t know, but right now, I am sitting in front of a Policeman and a State sponsored Psychiatrist.

I know him- Rustom Mistry, yes, that’s his name, I can see the Faravahar glittering in the light. “It’s to remind me of my true purpose, at least that’s what my mom hopes.” He’d told her when she’d asked about it. The winged disk and the bearded human motif looked very appealing to me, but today it seems scary. The purpose of my life, it’s fucking over! Not even the Faravar can save me!

He is asking me all these questions, with a very stern face. But believe me; I cannot understand what he says. For the life of me, his words are a jumble. I am trying to answer, but nothing. My jaw muscles have gone on strike. It’s like I never knew the powers of speech. I am unable to communicate and totally enervated. Have you ever heard a singing bowl? The sound of it keeps reverberating in my mind, suddenly out pops the Tom and Jerry tune in my mind, some heavy programming by Disney!

I have been forced to shut down, just like when you hold the power switch of a computer and just manually shut it down, you do not take the trouble of performing a proper shut down. My consciousness is the black screen, the product of a forced shut down.

My wretched eyes see everything. Rustam’s impassive face. Yet, the trace of anxiety makes itself known, which he suppresses with dutiful vigour. I sense that I’m watching him as different Ninas. Complicated emotions are tormenting me.
Ting tong! The bell rang. I was dressed in this gorgeous little black number from Yves Saint Laurent, also boasted of wedged heels from the same make- black luxurious suede. I was waiting for him.
I opened the door. Dr. Misty stood there. Ah yes, he was complete with the clichéd bunch of roses in his hands-blood red ones. He was speaking as clear as a bell, trying to implore me with his eyes. He also said something to the effect that he had wanted me for very long, but never had the guts to speak up. He told me he thought about me and was becoming obsessive, like I was under his skin. A chance is what he wanted. He throws caution to the winds and hugs me. The next minute I am in his arms, his lips are on mine, trying to get inside my mouth, as if snaking in to touch my soul.
One of the Nina’s (I have many Nina’s inside of me, fuck!) look at his lips, those same one who were trying to part her lips, to explore her very being. Those lips were now moving, creating geometric shapes, like the shapes formed when a kid blows bubbles from that god-awful soapy liquid.
Evanescent worlds,

Like dews of dawn.

Ghosts in time.

So the shapes his mouth is now making also disintegrates like the transient bubbles. Nothing elucidates impermanence as this act of blowing spherical shapes in the air which disintegrate in a few seconds. Poof! They are gone. New worlds created and destroyed, at the blink of an eye-lid. The bubbles form words. He’s asking me why I am here.

Why is anybody here? There is seriousness to his voice as he asks me why I had gone to Lilavati last night? Obviously I did not reply. I could not. I was physically unable to. Trauma I think is what did it. “Can you tell me why you stabbed this man repeatedly?? You killed him…” he was shoving a picture of a smiling face in my hands.
I have on tight mini-skirts and leather boots that are a few inches above my knees, very dark and Gothic make-up and I have on a wig, a short trendy wig. I try to touch it. Someone watching me from afar would notice a shaky hand moving to touch the hairline with no definitive purpose. But the purpose was known to this man- Rustam. “Why do you have that on?” He asks pointing to the wig.
I sit silently, looking down at the blood drying on this super expensive pair of boots that I bought online from some German fantasy leather footwear company, as a gift for my sister. They were splendid in their craftsmanship- the Germans definitely know how to design and make things. Other words from his mouth also manage to surface briefly in my consciousness. Word association! I normally think of a word when I hear a word. One word brings about the memory of another and so on so forth. The story is never ending. This has been a most fascinating way to tend to burgeoning ideas. Words like “life-support system” made its way to my subconscious. A sting of incredible pain jolted me into nausea. I’m throwing up all over the table, my clothes my shoes, my heart rate through the ceiling, my body drenched in sweat.
Rustam signals to the police behind the mirror to send in lady constables. Two stout Marathi female cops burst into the scene with some medical aid. “Kai zala?” They lift me up, try to stuff water down my throat, wipe me up and revive me. But I almost faint, the pain is too oppressive. I would have preferred to be Mary Antoinette, marching to the guillotine.

Muffin, your softness is what I seek; where are you baby? Come to me, there’s nothing I need more than your purrs and rubs.
And then I saw his face.

 

The face of cobwebs,

Disintegrating like the quarks in an atom,

Of nothingness.
Rustam is looking at me and I think I know what’s going through his head. My beaming face, obviously enamoured by his intellect and sophistication, sitting in the first bench, listening to him talk about Jungian Collective Unconscious, yes that memory is surfacing in his mind. It was a less complicated time. We were infatuated with each other.
But now, everything has changed. Today he stands in front of me as an inquisitor and it’s a witch hunt. A murder! He is supposed to uncover the darkest depths of my mind to know how I could commit such a hideous crime. No sorry- Hideous crimes and now I sit as dead as a doornail.
Dr. Rustam Mistry will be questioned about his diagnosis. He will go with the catatonic stupor characterized by motoric immobility, mutism and catalepsy, followed by the rare bout of nausea, blah fucking bloo.
Frank came to meet me and my mind kept repeating, A hope which is now forever past…A love so sweet it could not last,
Was Time long past…it just broke my already broken heart.

The police officer informed Rustam about his arrival and was asked his professional advice on whether Frank and I could meet. He did consent to our meeting and was there right behind the mirror to observe every subtle emotion that was there or wasn’t there or the ones he just thought existed.
Jail or any form of detention centre is hardly the place for lovers to meet. But Frank just held my hands, kissed them so very tenderly and whispered something about star stuff contemplating the stars…it was a Sagan expression we both loved. Gorgeousity! Star stuff, contemplating star stuff…Malana cream and Sagan. Ah!
When I hear these words I am reminded of another life, in another world where

I remember saying that we are made up of star stuff and he took my chain of thought and elaborated on it. “We’re star stuff, contemplating star stuff…” “As above”, said I and before I could complete my sentence, he covered my mouth and completed, “So below”…for me. We kissed, long and deep, like a Russian Kiss which explored not just my physical body but ignited a fire in my soul, it lasted the whole night. That night was like an eternity!
Frank sobs softly. “I will not give up on you or us…” My heart sobs with him, but I am catatonic. I want to ask him about my cat, Muffin, a majestic British Blue male, two years old and my baby. I want to hold him in my arms, his purring body close to my heart as he nibbles my nose with affection. He is missing me. Two most important males in my life, both from the Great Britain. An irony? The Angrez have not lost their hold on us. Anglophiles formed the part of Bengali society I called my family.

The vilayat, complete with toilet papers to wipe your arse. Who cleans their arse with water? What savages? Don’t forget the knives and forks, eat with your hand and in a jiffy you’re the outcast, chi chi, eating with your hand, as if somehow the toxicity of the hands were confirmed and verified by science.

I’d seen this documentary on Satyajit Ray, where he speaks of how the Western world took to Pather Panchali. He spoke of how some American women had been forced to throw up after watching Indir Thakrun eating with her hands on screen. What a bunch of barbarians, thought the pretty, sophisticated mems.

Okay I might have even fought super hard to be this sexy, sophisticated Angrezi lassie, if so many people around me had not made it their lives’ mission.

They are everywhere, singing Psalms in Convents at the crack of dawn, wearing micro mini, chote chote mini skirts with tank tops, as if showing skin is a sign of emancipation from old oppressive customs; these creatures were allergic to anything that screamed desi, like vampires to sunlight.

Imported goods, imported bathroom fittings, imported brains?
It’s not that I refuse to answer Frank. Believe me, I want to. But my mouth just refuses to speak, my eyes just sank deep into their crevices, my tongue just hangs there like a limp rag; I feel my brain is losing control, like a general who loses his soldiers due to some internal mutiny. The general, my brain has lost power, its reign is over and each of the organs has taken control. But this time, they are not working in harmonious synchronization, they have developed individuality. Screw individuality! Each behaved in the way it wanted to. All they seem to want is to not respond. So there you go, there was no response to Frank’s entreaties. Was this real??? Frank’s face, his tears, Rustam’s face, his stern look- it feels like cardboard scenery, in fact I have the taste of saw dust in my mouth.

I want to thank Frank for caring after my boy Muffin; in a sense he is the be all and end all of my existence when it comes to matters of the heart, and the only male in my life for so long. Thousands of years ago, the Egyptians worshipped the cat in the form of Bastet, killing a cat was punished by death and if a cat died, it’s family would shave off their eyebrows; well, seems like cats have not forgotten that and my Muffin certainly deserves worship.
Anyway Rustam is watching!
Little does he know that a woman is looking to meet me, her name SAPNA VERMA, the wife of the man I had brutally stabbed to death. He had multiple lacerations, a punctured abdomen and his testicles were chopped off. Such gruesome acts were only seen on telly in serials, where you get to see how evidence is collected which ultimately points to the guilty, no matter how much camouflaged the identity of the killer is. My DNA was everywhere in the crime scene, the CSI guys would not break a sweat in proving that it was I who did it.
Anyway Sapna has walked up the Police Officer who’s called Rustam. I have to meet her, she said. Rustam’s apprehensive, but then he sees Frank exit my cell. Sapna follows his glance and instantly approaches Frank demanding to see me, this bloody witch who she would have gladly burnt at the stake.
She enters my cell. Her eyes confront the pale corpse in front, my practically lifeless body. I must say, a shocked expression registers on her face as she looks at me from head to toe. What is this phantasmal entity, she must be thinking. How did this weakling kill my husband? Little did she know that when your mind is set, you can achieve anything- nothing is out of reach? I could have killed him over and over again, a hundred, fuck it, a billion times if I had to. It was like the most important exam I had to take, an exam which would ensure my demotion in the karmic law.

Lines from my poem are swimming in my consciousness; as a writer, one has the ability to randomly switch off and travel to other realms. Yes, it’s officially true, we have super powers.
Dadu would not approve. He was the type of man who would not take a shot at the enemy even if his range was clear and the bullet would definitely find its mark. He was an obsolete man in this world, an outdated DOS operating system. He was more interested in questions like who am I? Where did I come from? He preferred to ponder on such things. Self enquiry, he called it. Dadu I was screaming, who am I? The answer rang loud and clear- a killer. I had killed a man.
Sapna is pale-faced looking at me. “Are you her friend?” She asks Frank hesitantly. Frank nods. I’m not looking at them, but I know exactly what’s happening. At that precise moment I’m observing a spider spin its web. Is it spinning the web to catch a prey? All webs are not spun only for nutritious titbits; some webs are spun as hobbies, as works of art. To create something without any utilitarian purpose, but to create just for the sake of creation! What’s the point of that?? Some common-sense lover would say. Nothing honestly. Right? Wait, I think I see a tiny movement in the web. Is there an insect? Or is it the wind? Or is it my fucking imagination.

Ah! Imagination! It’s what always got me in trouble at school.
I was reprimanded for having too much imagination! My skin crawls to think of the parent’s-teacher’s meetings that Dadu had been subjected to over the years. Sheer torture for both of us and of course for the teachers!

They were just trying to help me through life and look what happened! I went ahead and killed a man. How horrified they would be. I imagine my Algebra teacher, Miss. Kalpana, a hard martinet in her late 50’s on the witness box, telling the judge how she knew I will be in trouble some day. It’s her fault, it’s her imagination.
Imagination is the culprit.

Lines from my poems kept ringing in my ears. STOP!

Back from these lines assaulting my consciousness, poetry is truly my life breath. Only if reality could be poetry, then I might have had a chance to do it differently.
Anyway, by now the shock has transformed into anger. It’s quite amazing to note how humans can translate any emotion into a show of anger. I think it’s a shield they hide behind- ANGER! Anytime you are unsure of how to express yourself, just display anger. It’s safe and effective! You can block off the more painful introspective thought processes.
So Sapna Verma takes the easy way out, she opts for anger. She musters all her strength and strides up to me. After a stare at my impassive, immobile face for a few minutes, she can control herself no longer. The oppressive silence envelopes the room like a thick cloak as all wait with bated breath. Then a slap almost knocks me off balance, but somehow my body refuses to be floored. I have no clue how and why. I just sit there. The sound of the slap is unnerving to Frank and Rustam behind the supposed glass, watching everything. But I feel nothing. Then funnily enough I hear the chorus, “I feel numb,” yes U2, and I understood what numb means.
You go through life, learning new words, understanding their meanings, but actually you understand nothing. The words are nothing but words unless you have the pertinent experience stored away in the depths of your being, which leave permanent imprints on your brain and yes, then you understand the word. Not till then.

Rape, murder, death- all these are words which are very much a part of our regular vocabulary. But how far do we understand them? We honestly don’t. Ask the young college student what rape means; presuming she has never been violated, she will have only a vague understanding of the term, maybe from movies or books.

Mine was from Monika Belluci’s incredible performance in Irreversible. But ask a rape victim what that word means and you will be shocked at the difference of understanding. The same word, but completely different levels of comprehension! Experience is what makes us learn new words, not just simply by glancing at a Thesaurus, but by learning through life. I understand the words Death, rape and murder, they have closely associated themselves with me, like the hanger-on friend you simply want to avoid.
Sapna is breaking down, her anger dissipating as quickly as it had arrived. She comes really close to me; I can smell her Chanel 5 perfume and minty breath. “Why did you kill him?” She asks. Very predictable question! You already knew that was coming right? But get this; she then murmurs something totally unexpected. After a moment’s hesitation, she whispers, “I’m sorry…I know what happened…with your sister…” now this should have definitely instigated some reaction from me, she thinks. It did, in the subconscious. But consciously I’m fucked up, incapable of any expression. I sat like a chopped up tree log, destroyed and cut down. If you apply the crescograph on a chopped up log, it’ll be interesting to see what level of consciousness remains.
I felt like writing but my physical body was pretty much worthless.

Poetry will not erase this woman’s troubles and nor will it answer her questions. Will it? Is poetry even useful? Or is it as worthless as me?

Sapna is troubled about an image that plagued her mind. Her thoughts travel to a certain day when she had looked through a crack on the door panelling. She’d seen her husband on the floor, howling with immense pain. A newspaper lay crumpled by his side, which displayed a beautiful girl. But creases had formed on her face as the newspaper sat wrinkled, but the smile was infectious.

It’s bewildering for her to see the physical similarly between the haggard girl in front and the face in the newspaper, but there was a slight difference. Not to mention that the girl in the newspaper was smiling, brimming with life and this girl in front was as lifeless as a cadaver. Still that was not it. There’s something else and I might have been able to help her, if not for the mutiny of my organs. Ridiculous!
I think the stark imagery of her husband’s painful explosion that night is a bit too much for Sapna to handle. Her head begins to swim and she’s about to collapse. But Frank provides support, the rock solid man that he is. Sapna is thankful for this support and the warmth his huge frame provides that she just holds onto him, his aftershave wafting in the air, tinkling her nose. For a moment she forgets where she is, holding onto him seemed the most natural thing. And then the tears came, they breake the floodgates and storm in like huge tsunamis. Sapna’s outcry sounds like a hurt animal and then she says these words. “But why kill him??? You can’t take what you can’t give…only God can take a life…”
Naive humanity! Who is this anthropomorphized God? What kind of a God will intervene- he will create and then destroy! This idea never agreed with me, in fact it nauseated me, every time people spoke about God like “He” was their personal problem solver. Of course I indulged in that odd prayer or two before my results; they were like placebo. And remember God has to always be referred to as HE!
Dadu used to say that Bengalis are a matri-bhakta culture; to them the mother figure is as important as the father, if not more. God to me could not be a He or a She. This was crystal clear in my mind even as a child. I gave it a lot of thought, but nothing made sense.

Gradually I began to avoid the word God. God in the sense society spoke of the idea. Man cheapened this transcendental concept. It is beyond human understanding. With our dwarfed intellects we can never grasp this idea; it’s a waste to try. “Nothing in life is a waste,” another one of Dadu’s lines! Dadu, Dadu where are you? How come our times together ended? You would say, “Nothing ever ends and similarly nothing begins, it’s just your perception which keeps you chained to such ideas of beginnings and ends. You are eternity in yourself…”. I would do anything to lie in Dadu’s lap or cuddle Muffin.

I hear Dadu’s voice- it’s crystal clear, his smell wafts in my consciousness- Asatoma sadgamaya, tamo soma yotir gamaya, mrityrma amritam gamaya!!

These words they play with my consciousness, Dadu enunciates them so well, so crisp, and so effortless, it sounds divine. He said that Sanskrit was the language of the Gods and there was never a doubt in my mind when he spoke it. He made the language godly.

He spent much time explaining this shloka to me- from Unreal take me to the Real, from darkness take me to light, from death take me to immortality!

Everything about this situation my friend is unreal. No you do not understand, a murder, by my hands? It is unreal. I respect life; harming even a fly hurts me. It’s no charlatanism! I do not care if you don’t believe me, it’s not important, not trying to get you to come to my side, I’m just telling you of how things are, no embellishments, no B.S.

It was basenter dupur bela, a spring afternoon; we sat near Dadu, in our living room. It was a Sunday, a lazy Sunday. Dadu had a ritual with us; he’d read to us, from the Vedas, from the Tantra texts, the Upanishads and the Bhagavadgita and explained certain parts. Zeenia was less open to this idea as she grew older; she preferred to be on her phone or laptop.

Dadu did not scold her, forcing his opinions on people was not what he sought to do when he read to us from these ancient texts; he wanted us to be connected to our roots, discover what our ancestors had left behind.

I enjoyed his company immensely, his stories interested me on many levels and he brought out the different characters so vividly; this led me to form a fascination for the human psyche. Come to think of it, it shaped my future; I decided to take up psychology honours. My parents has both studied English in college; when I was a kid, I knew that I would probably end up studying it too, but eventually studying the human mind became an obsession.

Anyway, that afternoon it was the Bhagavadgita.

The lines ring loudly in my ears, but in it the concept of Arjuna having to kill all his relatives is what bothered me. But dadu, how can Arjuna kill all these people? Especially Bhishm, his gurudeva, and all his cousins? The thing that plays in my mind today is a question little Nina asked him, Dadu but how can anyone kill?

This question, it’s mocking me, this question’s alluring me, and it begins to take many forms, grotesque, grave, gruesome, until it begins to drive me crazy. All this angst in my mind, but if you look at me from afar, I’m carved in stone, an effigy created to be burned.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Email me tina@tinaheals.com

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the_twins-1382139739m

Om Tare Tu Tare Ture Soha~~

tu15

Who is Tara? Tara is the second manifestation of the MOTHER MATRIX and a part of DASAMAHAVIDYA. She is also refereed to as BHAVATARINI, as in she helps cross over this samsaric ocean.

Each MAHAVIDYA or aspect of the DEVI is related to a planet. TARA rules over JUPITER, the planet of good luck and EXPANSION!

Tara is the very embodiment of LOVE and she is the very same as KALI and KAMAKHYA according to the YOGINI TANTRA.

In Tantric literature, there are three manifestations of Tara~~ Eka Jata, who manifests as Kaivalya(ULTIMATE PEACE) or unity with the Absolute; Ugra Tara, who protects us from the miseries of existence and Nila Saraswati, who imparts Jnana or knowledge.

Tara is the presiding Goddess of Speech and the Shakti of Hiranya Garba Saura Brahma. Hiranyagarbha being a Sanskrit compound meaning “the Golden Egg” or “the Egg of imperishable matter.”

In Hindu cosmology, it refers to “the golden egg or womb” from which the universe was born. In the Vedas and Brahmanas, Brahma is not named, and Hiranyagarbha was the source of all things. In the Manusamhita, Hiranyagarbha was Brahma, who divided the egg into two parts, the heavens and the earth.

H.P.B refers to Hiranyagarbha as the MUNDANE EGG, androgynous or non-dual, after which it was divided into Viraj and Vach, the male and female principles. The Secret Doctrine’s Stanzas of DZYAN state that the Hiranyagarbha is in itself triple (Hiranyagarbha, Sakti, Sankara, or Brahma, Vishnu and Siva).

Tara is the very essence of all THREE- the TRINITY! And will in time bring about SURYA PRALAYA.

Pralaya (devanāgarī: प्रलय) is a Sanskrit word that means “dissolution” or “melting away” (from laya: “to dissolve” and pra “away”). In Hinduism it refers to a period where the universe is in a state of non-existence, which happens when the three gunas or qualities of matter are in perfect balance. The idea of pralaya is part of a cyclic model of the universe (present in several Eastern philosophies as well as in Theosophy) where the cosmos is said to appear and disappear regularly within the Absolute Reality:

As the sun arises every morning on our objective horizon out of its (to us) subjective and antipodal space, so does the Universe emerge periodically on the plane of objectivity, issuing from that of subjectivity—the antipodes of the former. This is the “Cycle of Life.” And as the sun disappears from our horizon, so does the Universe disappear at regular periods, when the “Universal night” sets in. The Hindoos call such alternations the “Days and Nights of Brahma,” or the time of Manvantara and that of Pralaya (dissolution). The Westerns may call them Universal Days and Nights if they prefer.

~~Theosophy Wiki

What is a SURYA or SOLAR PRALAYA?

A solar pralaya comes when seven Planetary Chains have been accomplished:

Within one solar period (of a p[ralaya]. and m[anvantara].) occur seven such minor periods [rounds], in an ascending scale of progressive development. . . . The solar period [is composed] of 49 rounds.

~~Theosophy Wiki

While immersing oneself in Tara sadhana, you must remember that you are calling upon the ULTIMATE FEMININE MANIFESTATION OF POWER, therefore be prepared to immerse yourself in her literature and dhyana or meditation.

When Tara is invoked successfully, we can truly see ourselves as the GREAT EXPRESSION OF DIVINITY we truly are. Creativity is supercharged when she is awakened in our beings. It is believed that Vyasa who wrote the Vedas wanted to immerse himself in Tara worship.

He tried and he tried, to no avail. Therefore he travels to Mahachina(Tibet), met Shakyamuni Buddha(yes the ORIGINAL dude) and learnt to invoke Tara correctly. He worked on the eighteen Mahapuranas after invoking the Tara energy. It was her grace.

Tara is above Maya as she is the CREATRIX of it all. One can achieve all material success with her grace, but she is the GREAT LIBERATOR. As in she shows us the way out of this MAYA or the GREAT ILLUSION.

Tara is surrounded by eight Yoginis: Mahakali, Rudrani, Ugra, Bhima, Ghira, Bhramari, Maharatri and Bhairavi. The Hindu Mahavidya Goddess Tara figures prominently in Tibetian Bhuddhism- VAJRAYANA BUDDHISM.

No one can be certain as to who invoked Tara first- Bengal  or Tibet? In Bengal(where I come from, the very heart of Tantra) Mahavidya texts such as Mahabhagavata-purana and Brhaddharma-purana originated and the SHAKTA or devi worship is very much a part of our psyche. Bengal is one state which practices no FEMALE FOETICIDE as we see our daughters as expressions of the GODDESS.

Bengalis are true FEMININE ENERGY worshippers and we birthed many refined forms of Goddess worship. Tibetan Buddhism had twenty forms of Tara. Of this White and Green Tara are popular. OM TARE TU TARE TURE SOHA!

I love Tara with all my heart, whether she is in Hindu form or Buddhist. I practice a lot of Vajraya meditations, so Green and White Tara are my absolute favourites. Black Tara provides hardcore protection if you need that and Blue Tara is NILA SARASWATI, a very esoteric form of Saraswati and the PATRON OF ARTS.

I have been invoking TARA since I have been a child and she has never failed to interact with me. She does so through numbers, colours, scents, memories and sometimes dreams. She is my companion when I enter meditation and I never leave my bed without saying the Tara Gayatri.

Aum Tarawai cha vidmahe

Maha ugrawai dhimahi

Tanno devi prachodayat.

 

These devotional or Shakta songs dedicated to Tara have made me cry and laugh so many times. They have such deep meaning and such musings…SUBLIME!!!

SHREE TARA STOTRA

!! Ghora roope mahamaaye sarvashatruvashamkari
Bhaktebhyo varade devi traahi maam sharanaagatham !! (1)

!! Suraasuraarchite devi siddhagandharva sevithe 
jaadyapaapahare devi traahimaam sharanaagatham !! (2) 

!! Jattajoota samaayukthe lola jihvaanukaarini
druthabuddhikare devi traahi maam sharanaagatham !! (3)

!! Soumyaroope ghoraroope chandaroope namostute
srishttiroope namstubhyam traahi maam sharanaagatham !! (4)

!! Jadanaam jadathaam hamsi bakthaanam bakthavatsale
moodatha har me devi traahi maam sharanaagatham !! (5)

!! Hum humkaarmaye devi balihomapriye namah
ugratare namstubhyam traahi maam sharanaagatham !! (6)

!! Ashttamyaam cha chaturdashyaam navamyaam chaikamanasa
shannmaasaei siddhimaapnoti naatra kaarya vichaaranaa !! (7)

!! Budhim dehi yasho dehi kavitvam dehi dehi me
kubudhi har me devi traahi maam sharanaagatham !! (8)

!! Indraadi devisha vrindavandite karunaamayi
tare taradhinaadhaasye traahi maam sharanaagatham !! (9)

!! Mokshaarthim labathe moksham dhanaarthim danamaapnuyaat
vidhyaarthim labhate vidhyaam tarkavyaakaranaadikaam !! (10)

!! Idam stotram padedhyasthu saubhaghyam labhate nara
tasya shatru kshayam yaati mahapragya cha jaayate !! (`11)

!! Peedaayaam vaapi samgraame japye daane tadhaa bhaye
ya idam padathi stotram shubham tasya na samshaya !! (12)

!! Stotrennanena deveshi stutva devim sureshvareem
sarvaan kaamanavapnoti sarvavidyaanidhirbhavet !! (13)

!! Iti te kadhitam divyam stotram saarasvathapradam
asmaat parataram naasthim stotra tantre maheshvari !! (14)

Namaste!

http://www.tinaheals.com

tina@tinaheals.com

Bagalamukhi Invocation and Prayer

“The symbol of Goddess gives us permission. She teaches us to embrace the holiness of every natural, ordinary, sensual dying moment. Patriarchy may try to negate body and flee earth with its constant heartbeat of death, but Goddess forces us back to embrace them, to take our human life in our arms and clasp it for the divine life it is – the nice, sanitary, harmonious moment as well as the painful, dark, splintered ones.

If such a consciousness truly is set loose in the world, nothing will be the same. It will free us to be in a sacred body, on a sacred planet, in sacred communion with all of it. It will infect the universe with holiness. We will discover the Divine deep within the earth and the cells of our bodies, and we will lover her there with all our hearts and all our souls and all our minds.”
― Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter

What powerful words! How true they ring to my ears.

I have always been a worshipper of the Dasamahavidya and have used these ten archetypes to meditate on and gain clarity and wisdom. Invoking the Devis have changed my life completely every time, with every prayer and every invocation. In fact my latest obsession is to create a tarot deck on the Mahavidyas, the great Tantric Goddesses.

Yes I speak to my Goddesses who come to me in different forms. They play with me, teach me, love me and are a HUGE part of my life. But then so is Mary Magdalene whom I meditate upon and invoke as well, like Ishtar, Diana, Freya and many more.

I have been lucky to have performed many Bagalamukhi homas, Mahakala and Chinnamasta homa as well with Dhumavati beej. Ok this is probably sounding gibberish to you. But please don’t flake off.

Hang on! There is much to be gained today when we invoke the Goddess archetype into our lives. And I introduce to you Maa Bagalamukhi who is one of my favourites. In fact I have been initiated into her sadhana for a few years now by one of the most eminent sadhaks alive today.

I am going to simplify her Sanskrit long prayer, give you her beeja and explain her worship. But I have adapted her worship and it might seem totally different from Bagala sadhana practised conventionally.

Some of you may be aware that the occult Navaratri is taking place now. Nine when when ten aspects of the DIVINE MOTHER are venerated. These “aspects” are Kali, Tara, Shodoshi, Bhubaneshwari, Bharavi, Chinnamasta, Dhumavati, Bagala, Matangi and Kamala. Don’t worry about the names, you can google them up in your leisure, but just concentrate on Bagala for now.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bagalamukhi

That is the Wiki article. Peruse through it and get to know her.

You can sage your house and create your sacred space. You may use her image on your altar or you might use any golden stone like Pyrite. You can also use her Yantra which is the representation of this energy in a sacred geometry pattern.

After you have created your space and brought your psychic energy to full focus on whatever object you are using to invoke this energy. Start by invoking Ganapati by saying Om Vakratundaya Hum!

Then keep reciting Ling as many times as you like. Ling is her sacred beeja or seed sound. Ling! Keep saying it and notice how you feel. Close you eyes and say it. Say it loud and feel the vibrations inside your body. Whisper it and feel the resonance and also chant it silently. Try to feel the vibrations deep inside.

After a certain time, you will begin to vibrate with energy. The Goddess would have entered your consciousness through the symbol you are choosing to activate. Just remember to observe the feelings inside as you keep saying ling.

You may or may not use vermillion and til seeds, sandal wood powder and flowers to offer while you keep chanting ling. Once the ling is vibrating inside, then sit in silence. You can close your eyes and call the Goddess. You may have an internal dialogue with her.

After you have bathed in the Goddes energy, begin to sing hymns. You can do it as a recitation or just say it mentally.

Start by saying- Om Ling Bagalamukhing divyayi svaha!

That is her moola mantra as in her invocation phrase.

Om Hleem Bagalaamukhi Sarvadushtaanaam Vaacham Mukham Padam Stambhay Jihvaam Keelay keelay Buddhim nashaaya ling Om Swaha ।

Now say the following prayer…

Goddess Bagala I invoke you to protect me from all obstacles.

May all negative words about me stop, may all negative actions against me be stopped, May I never sway towards negative ways and may all negative attention on me cease.

May all negatives be reversed into positives.

May all my DIS-eases be ended.

May I serve the Earth and all her denizens with a selfless heart.

Chant ling again, as many times as you want.

Then sit in silence after lighting a yellow candle. Carve Ling in it if possible.

Sit and watch the candle burn. Feel the presence of the Goddess with you.

May she bless you and all of the Universe!

Email me if you have any questions…

tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

Bagalamukhi by Mattias Fahlberg

bagalamukhi_by_mattiasfahlberg-d80bvpz

Facilitate Spirit-CONNECTION! Mars sextiles Neptune!

I see the world being slowly transformed into a wilderness; I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too. I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquillity will return once more… Anne Frank

My sweeties I don’t have a better way to begin this convo today. The quote above sums it up pretty fucking decently. The last few days have been so charged with fertile chaotic energy and for me it brought about ancient karmic connections. Someone from many, many past lives walked right back in. It has been so hectic, meeting people. Yes lovelies, people from my past.

Just last night I had this amazing dinner and long-drawn out convo with an old friend who also happens to be from a famous Bollywood family. The convo was about U.G and Jiddu Krishnamurthi, Archetypes and primordial memory! And of course there were convos about old actors, directors, huge movie stars and the whole industry in general. Acid trips and Vipasana. Venus in retro does leave such astounding gems for us to glean and if we manage to obtain what we are meant to, then we are infinitely wiser. Even though we may not realise it that moment. Sometimes it takes people a whole Venus cycle to reconnect the dots.

See Venus in retro is making me revalue all my ideas and notions regarding concepts of art, cinema, beauty, finances. I mean, I have worked in the media industry for over a decade and am still very much a part of it. I have been finding closure or answers or more questions to concepts regarding these matters. I have been reevaluating my own constructs that I have created. I am sure all of you are going through these same self enquiries. I know collectively we are seriously looking into matters Venusian and this time with an introverted lens. We are journeying inside with these concepts and letting our intuition guide us.

Cinema is ruled by Neptune, the ruler of Pisces. So the topic of cinema pops up. Today there is a dreamy cinematic quality to life that you can tune into. Yes the authorship of today’s events is in your hands and boy can you make it MAGICK!

Mars in Taurus sextiles Neptune(look up your time zone) and suddenly boof! Our spiritual sensitivities are stirred. You wake up with a dreamy feeling. Your antennae are picking up vibrations from some sort of fairy tale world. Your very own fairy tale. You forget that you are a debt slave, working nine to five to pay off EMIS and other loans. You forget that you have to drive to work for an hour and a half through crowded city traffic. You forget that you are a slave to money. You shed off the incessant need to try to be NUMBER FUCKING 1.

No! You relinquish all that madness. You find a moment, far from the madding crowd and you light a candle in your heart. This day is full of potential for empathy and kindness. Why don’t you find a suitable way to explore this theme, but remember to keep it spiritual as Neptune will have you do.

If you can make everything in front of you SPIRITUAL, then the battle is won. You have created an infinity-sacred-space! If you decide to meditate today, then consciously send out healing energy to the whole world. See the love radiating from your heart chakra and kiss it forward. To help and heal. To be the balm that people need. You need to be the Goddess and the Hero today. You need to create your very own heaven. If you need a Yidam or a deity to concentrate upon, then you can invoke Blue Tara or Nila Saraswati today. Blue because of the Neptunian influence.

The Blue Tara is very effective to quell anger. She is called Ekajati and is an emanation of wrathful feminine energy. She can transmute bad karma into swift spiritual awakening. Therefore she suggested herself to me. Use her energies. Chant her mantra- OM) BHIM TARE VRIM. Visualise her as sapphire blue.

You can use lapis lazzuli or blue sapphire. Although before you don a sapphire, I would suggest you get your natal chart looked at by a gem therapist who will see Saturn’s placement before you can wear it. I have seen contradictory results with the use of sapphire. In my own life.

The position for today will be the TREE POSE! This will bring the necessary equilibrium you need. Still your mind and body in unison. Place the crystal near your heart chakra while you perform this.

I leave you with a very potent number- 719 481 71. This number will manifest your plans and thoughts into tangible reality. Write it on your left wrist, recite it mentally or just carry it in your wallet.

Thank You!

Namaste!

Email me- tina@tinaheals.com

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