A Ghost of my Creation~

The wings of my butterfly shaped soul

Flutter mercilessly in vain

The sound of the death knell

The poignancy of the everlasting pain

Sweet surrender and an ending it longs

Like a moth to the flame

There is no denying this

There is no shame

Death is my poison

Suicide my orgasm

My whole body spasms

With the touch of your eyes

Do not believe these lies

Oh sweet death

Be mine…

I want your embrace

There is just the sublime fall from grace

Oh death…Oh death…

Be mine…

Death from this eternity in waiting

Waiting in the soulless purgatory

This disastrous love story

Is the sweet poison I crave

Life has fucked me hard

But I cannot discard

The thought of you

Are you standing before me?

I ask myself…

Did you leave?

Were you ever here?

Or were you in my mind?

In your eyes my soul I find

Did I wait forever?

Is this all an atrocious mistake?

When everything is at stake

Could I not have been more clever

To know this game makes us a loser

Has it already been that long

But I remember that song

An eternity has passed

I will not go out without a blast

Like the brilliance of a deadly quasar

This is the need of the hour

But you still remain inside of me

Like a soul wrenching ache

Don’t you see?

It’s not just my heart you break

When you deny and you’re filled with hesitation

You are the ghost of my creation

The sound of my incantations

Even in utter darkness

You shine like a trillion Suns

Why such aloofness?

I come undone

You are the tears that trickle down my cheeks

Am I too meek

To keep mourning the loss of inevitability

You are the constricted breath

Chocking me, strangling me

You are my asphyxiation

A wild desperation

You are my incarceration

My goddamn damnation

You are my sweet torment

Why are you so hellbent?

On destroying the sacredness

Of what we might have had

You are my bitter pleasure

And my absolute treasure

The robber of my soul

Be sure to play this role

To eternal oscillation

Of our existences

They become nothingness

As the void of emptiness

Dances around us

Through vast intergalactic distances

You are my dazzling sunshine

Deliver the sign to tell me you are here

As my psychedelic Jesus

You are my raging tempest

You are my perpetual melancholia

You are my abject paranoia

You are my tempest that blows asunder

You are my broken heart

Scattered into a million smithereens

You are my hallucination

You are my desperation

You are my absolution

You are my dream

You are my nightmare

You are all my memories

You are my wonderland

You are my matrix

You are my Sun and the Moon

You are my storm

As you rage inside of me

I have revolted against myself for you

Are you waiting for me?

Hear me call out to you

As Juliet to Romeo

As the poison turned her blue and cold

Much has been told

And now I am fed up

What will it be?

A cup of coffee or suicide?

I know I have laughed hysterically as I have cried

And now it’s time for the final goodbye.

 

 

http://www.tinaheals.com

More and more come pouring out…

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Twinflame Yearning in the RX season~

I ask you for violence, in the nonsense, and you, you give me grace, your light and your warmth. I’d like to paint you, but there are no colors, because there are so many, in my confusion, the tangible form of my great love.’ ~~Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera

There is a sense of deep, deep, penetrative soul searching love as Mars has gone retro in Aquarius which is my house of relationships from my Leo Sun! And the ruler of my 7th from my Ascendant has gone retro.

There is a deep ache in my pussy that is reverberating from down there all the way to my heart chakra. The Priestess uses her pussy as a radar. The pussy detects twinflame yearning, only if you listen. No amount of making love or no amount of self pleasure can satisfy this craving!

This hunger is Neptune dreaming up impossible dreams of everlasting love and pangs of separation. I guess Neptune retro in my 7th house on my Moon, is a time when my heart craves the most for my twin soul. And so does my pussy and my body!

And this body is entangled with another…far, far away, in another multiverse…

I am searching for that body who carries a part of my soul in his. I told you how twinflames are the same soul. Yes, they are an expression of the sacred union of Shiva/Shakti. The great tantric maithuna!

The CAP FM coming up is in my 5th house of romance from my ascendant as as FMS bring things to light, I want to see what pops up for me as I will be away from my family.

Staring at the full moon from a place of wonder and magick! A place closest to my heart. Tearful longings fill my heart. And I cry…I cry aloud, I cry in silence, I cry alone and I cry with friends…the tears don’t go away. It’s been the blackest day…

And I am forced to think of a love I never had. No matter how much I try to shut him out, the hologram keeps laughing at me. I am helpless. I am powerless and impotent as my body responds to him, so does my mind and what of the soul. He is my soul!

There is someone I want to meet. There is someone I want to hold. There is someone I want to love and it is you! This should be an easy piece to write. The words should flow smoothly, because of my depth of love for you. But maybe, words here cannot do justice!

Every single moment I avoid thinking of you, all I can do is think of you. I don’t know what your name is, but I know when I hear it, it will bring me peace. Blissful, unadulterated peace. A name that will bring a smile to my lips. A name so familiar that it will ring in the very core of my being. A name which resonated within through infinities and eternities!

Memories, memories, memories…they appear in the torturous stormy seas of my mind, but they disappear. All that remains is your smile, like the lighthouse across ravenous destructive waves. Your gleaming light saves me from drowning in the fogs of the abyss.

I know you are as aware of me as I am and maybe while you sit staring at your screen, in your Universe, maybe due to quantum information bleeding into parallel worlds, you see my words appear before you.

You do not know where these words come from, for you have no idea what they mean, but you read on. Why? Because there is something so familiar in these words that makes every pain and every sadness go away.

You are eternally bonded to me, why do you deny it? Are you even aware of this connection? Do you thirst for me?

I think you feel all of this, as much as I do…I feel you crave for my body and soul as much as I do yours and what of my mind? It is as beautiful as yours…

You have looked for me as I have for you, but we have not met, because there is no inter dimensional travel for me yet. Do you want to come to my Universe instead?

Maybe  you’re already trying to figure out how to get to my Universe. Maybe you are devising a time warp machine that will make you cross the dimensional distance and you will come into this multiverse. What unrealistic expectations, I tell you!

Or maybe you don’t exist…more likely the latter…my pussy knows you exist.

So back one more time, due to public demand to speak about Twinflmes. Tada! Now listen to me, I am travelling all the way to a magickal twinflame place called Goa in the next two days.

As La Luna becomes pregnant in Capricorn, the polarity of Cancer, I have been called to be close to the seas. One more time, I will be about to stare at the Goa skies and think of this crazy twinflame connection that I felt once, many, many years ago…

No I am not going for fun and will be going alone. No baby. No husband. Just my work and my solitude and the energy of my twinflame which is all pervasive in Goa. Nothing can stop me from feeling crazy dejavus in that place. It is like he is right there, but I know he is not. Lol!

It’s not possible for my twinflame story to be so easy. What if I see him walking towards me in Vagator? Will he smile? Will he remember me? Will he run to embrace me?

Sometimes I think of what it would be like to meet him. What would I say? Would I feel centered or absolutely ruffled? Would I be articulate? No man has ever made me lose my tongue. No man ever. Maybe he is the only man who can get me tongue tied. And it is not easy to get me tongue tied.

The Hummingbird in Vagator! Part 2, all alone.

Read about Part-1

https://mywritestuffblog.wordpress.com/2016/12/22/the-hummingbird-in-small-vagator/

Walking down the shore, drawing patterns on the beach, smelling the salty seas, thinking of what it would be…if he was here…yes, I wish you were here…you from another frickin’ multiverse.

Couldn’t you just be from this dimension! Talk about complicating stuff!

Maybe, maybe…you are already trying to communicate with me. Maybe through art. The way I like it.

Sometimes I think of you as a painter. Drawing in the canvas of my soul.

Sometimes I see you as a sculptor, capturing my infinite essence in your artwork.

Sometimes, I think of you speaking to me in a tune, crafting the sounds to describe the pain and love in your soul.

I promise to look for them. I know you communicate with me, through psychic energy and sacred sound.

I know you are not in my mind, or are you?

Sometimes, I feel scared that we will never meet in our physical form on earth, but then maybe in death, we shall be united in some way.

Although I hope to meet you in this life. Even if I am seventy and I see you coming, I will know you have come. And I will rest in peace to know I saw your face, even if for a brief moment!

I cannot even write that I knew you were the one since I laid my eyes on you, because till now, I have waited to see your face. Till now I have waited to look into your eyes. I have waited to see if you love me with the same intensity that I do.

I wish we could grow old together, but we won’t. I wish we could read each other’s minds, which we do, but we will never talk about it. We will never see our children, because time and space have conspired to keep us apart.

The best part about this craving I have for you, is that I have no clue what about you I am craving. Is it my soul, now fragmented just wants to seek unification of some sort? And is my body reacting to this connection? My pussy is…there is  stargate in there, waiting to be activated…by you!

Every time the rain drops come crashing down like silver sheets, inundating my consciousness, there is a tune I hear. Or is it a chant? Whatever it is, it reminds me of you. Rain and sunshine, both! How perverse is that!

No man has ever touched my body the way you would, because having the same soul, this body too, is yours. No one can kiss these lips like you do, for they are your own lips and when you look into my eyes, you will feel like you are looking into your own being!

I am your mirror…look at us!

That is the connection I feel to this unnamed energy that I call my twinflame. There is no tangible physical form, but there is energy. Energy which flows from his heart to mine and I think the energy being churned out by the skies above is heightening this connection, this yearning, this impossible fulfillment.

My body aches to be with you, the void in my pussy, impossible to satiate with anything, but you. Every atom of my body is eager to express my love for you in an impossible dance of sacred union. Our bodies enmeshed in an eternal embrace, you pulsating within me, setting every fiber of my being on fire.

No hands can ever worship this body like yours and no one can pleasure me like you.

There is no you. There is no me. There is only the sacred fire of our communion. There is only our love burning bright through the abysmal darkness of creation and destruction.

My all consuming passion drives my creativity, it drives my lust for life, it drives my sense of purpose. It is the anchor of my life, my North Star, the ever present fixture in the mirth of my consciousness.

I know you communicate with me through symbols and archetypes, through birth and death, but now it is time to show yourself…appear and manifest in this Universe…

To someone in some multiverse…

DONATE~

http://www.tinaheals.com

Notes on #PussyTalks: Sluts and Whores~~

Wow thank you all for the letters and the notes, the memes and the pictures; they made my day just that much brighter. I had retreated into a very deep place, something to do with my natal Pluto, Mars and Venus aspects from where I might never fully return. Astrological work will be coming up shortly as well as more on Sacred sexuality.

Jupiter in Scorpio brought about a wonderful surprise, remember it is on the third house from Ascendant. The house of communication and the energy is Scorpionic with Jupiter amplifying all those attributes. I spoke to a group of empowered Escorts and sex workers who know and love their work. They also love their clients(well most of them).

You might not know, but I have been interacting with escorts, Johns, Dominas, Tops, Bottoms, Crossdressers and many others from the sex industry for very many years. Collecting data and looking through a Uranian filter on such SCORPIONIC ISSUES.

Something about the way women’s sexuality presented itself in society did not do much for my identity as a sexual being. In fact, I told that virginity was something to be saved for your husband. Fuck yes, I remember it. Fuck, everything to do with sex was such a stigma. All the time.

Obviously bad girls like me do not listen and we do what we need to do to experience life in all its awesomeness. How can you leave out sexuality which is at the very crux of human civilisation?

It made no sense that it was so hush-hush. It made no sense why my BFS got so jealous if other men(including their brothers and their best friends) looked at me or spoke to me with excitement. They behaved like I was their possession and it pissed my rebellious spirit off to no end.

In fact, it happened to me recently. I lost an old friend because her husband could not contain his excitement at meeting me! And this is one woman who should have known that I will never be into her man. Even if he was my type. It hurt me tremendously and is a wound I have been carrying for a few months. There I spoke of it…

Such is the place from which Pussy Talks was conceived. I had to discover for myself that I was not alone. I was not the only woman who CRAVED TO CONNECT. I was not the only woman who wanted it uninhibited, raw, deep and fiery.

I knew there were others.

That is when I learnt of the Virgin/Whore archetypes. That is what society has reduced us to. Either we are good little virgins(wives, mothers, sisters) or we are whores(free minded bitches). I may be a wife, but my husband knows very well and loves the fact that he does not own me. I am as free as he is.

I saw girls gossiping amongst themselves every-time someone lost her virginity. There were always the most psychotic, obsessive, desperate-to-accomplish types who held on to their hymens.

It was strange the way they held on to their virginity as a commodity with which they could in some way leverage a better deal.

Not for me. Hahahahahaha! Some even went for hymen transplantation. Such is the saga of human sexuality today.

Working through the sacred slut archetype yesterday with the ladies MADE ME SO EXCITED that I made up my mind to write this post. Every woman has the right to feel this orgasmic bliss that rocks her whole being. It is as much your birthright as it is mine.

Most times, men will not give it to you, so you must learn to give it to yourself till you find the ONE you can merge in sacred union with. Trust me there is someone who will make love to you and stick all the broken parts back together. Dreamy shit…hahahaha!

Anyway girls, your virginity is not a commodity and the first time you make love, keep in mind that even if the person is not your Mr. Right, even then, be PRESENT in the moment. In the NOW. Be there. Smell him, feel him, feel the whole scenario and just experience it. Do not feel upset if it is not what you had in mind. Embrace the reality while knowing that the fantasy might happen, someday.

There is nothing as disturbing as losing your virginity while drunk or drugged. In fact, if you decide to lose your virginity, make sure, you and your beau abstain from alcohol, especially if you are doing YONI PUJA or tantra meditation sex. Remember, this is not Neo-Tantra, so my ideas may differ from what is being sold in the West as Tantra.

I know that to activate your sexual energy, you have to connect with your pussy. It has to be done. My work with women focuses on activating the GODDESS FORM INSIDE EACH OF THEM and the YONI or the PUSSY becomes a direct symbol of the GODDESS.

The ladies I spoke with were working with sexual energy and if they work with the GODDESS FORM, they might find more magick in the work they do. The men will also respond to this energy flux. This might result in lots of kundalini activity.

Although they were pretty adjusted on the surface, yet, some of them failed to really tap into their INNER SACRED SLUT/WHORE and sex work can become healing work if you just understand how to work with the energy and it all begins with INTENT.

Most girl were telling me that they find no time to meditate or do anything spiritual at which I told them and showed them how putting on your daily make up can become a meditation.

They were thrilled I can tell you that.

As Jupiter moves through Scorpio, society will be confronted with FEMALE SEXUALITY like never before.

Believe me, wild sister, man wanted monogamy. You did not. He decided to control you while you were pregnant and had to depend on him. And look now, what has changed. Women’s reproductive rights are a joke.

Women are way more sexual than men and the Courtesans and Sacred Whore of yore knew this. They were SLUTS because unlike the wives they did not belong to any man, but chose to mate with whomever she liked.

No man controlled her, not with money, not with sex and not with children.

She was free to explore her sexuality and in most cases made it a spiritual practice. Women have this inherent wisdom and trust me, talking to sex workers from all over, I can tell you that they are some of the wisest and experienced women, especially if she has successfully drawn on the COURTESAN archetype.

For the Courtesan was a truly accomplished Artist and MUSE, sometimes of really powerful men. She was a Philosopher, a musician, a singer, a confidant, a seductress and even a top in bed and she played all these roles to perfection.

Why are wives sacred of the Courtesan? Like some women are scared of sexually empowered women? These women are your witches, your bitches and your bossy bosses. Don’t you just hate them? Hahahahahaha!

The wife fears the courtesan because the courtesan does not need any man. But the wife does. Remember she is a wife and her whole identity is wrapped around that little concept.

The Courtesan is free from this. She is sexually free, in most cases(if she is smart, lol) then she decides and chooses her lovers and they in turn provide for her. Yes the Courtesan is seen as a FREE and available woman and in most cases vilified, but it was not so in ancient times and it is also imperative to end the stigma behind sex work and prostitutes. They are girls, like you and me.

Escorts and sex workers have to understand SACRED SEXUALITY, because they work with kundalini energy at the very base level and if they manage to rise up in vibration as a collective, then imagine what could happen. Our society could change.

Being in love with somebody and cohabiting with someday- two totally disparate concepts. How can you love someone if you know them intimately? The courtesan provides the allure, the mysterious. Whereas the wife is an open book that the husband mostly ignores because he has read every page. So instead of going through the painful process of reinventing yourself over and over again(spending tons and tons on the way you look and getting stressed AF), wouldn’t it be better if we redefined feminine sexuality.

It is so very important for women as a collective to come together and scream out that- WE RECLAIM OUR SEXUALITY, our reproductive rights…We will decide as well how sex and sexual imagery will be portrayed in media and in society.

Look at the images in front of you…hacked and quartered limbs of women selling you products. The breast will sell you everything, but when it pops out to feed an infant- ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. While breastfeeding my toddler the other day at the airport, I was stunned at how many men stared at my breast, forgetting the fact that they were once babes suckling on their moms.

Look sexual imagery is created for the MALE GAZE. There are no spaces for women to express their sexual preferences, desires, fantasies and the rest. Fuck that, there is really no avenue for women to be sexually empowered. Look around you, wherever you go…the violence on women is apparent and evident.

You cannot hide from it now.

Working through SACRED SEXUALITY and all the archetypes in our consciousness must be a top priority, not just for sex workers, but for all women and men out there.

Men are being fed a garbage diet of misogynistic porn and soon to come, robot sex. Think hard. How will a man handle the idiosyncrasies of a real woman. So men, tune into your sacral chakra. It has a lot of wisdom.

Men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus, although they are the cosmic archetypes of masculine and feminine. Both men and women are from Earth and it is time to join together.

A woman is way more sexual than a man. Believe me and please note that the walls of the vagina do not get stretched or loose with sex. In fact the pussy is full of elasticity, the muscles and tissues can expand and contract easily and return to how it used to be.

I have heard so many women bring this up as a lack of interest in the men that I feel like shouting it out from the roofs tops. Google it bitches…check it out. You can start the Kegels later on now.

There is so much bullshit propaganda around female sexuality thatt it has perverted human sexual expression and its freedom. Society never makes women’s sexuality a priority. It is a filter through which a male can masturbate and enjoy. Watch the lesbian porns out there and you will know of what I speak. You already do.

The clothes we are meant to wear. They are so freaking uncomfortable, some of them, yet they serve the purpose of the male gaze. Look at the bikini, it is an elaborate subterfuge to get women exposed so men can stare at them while sitting with their wives. Making the wife insecure and getting her hating on the younger girl. See how it is a vicious cycle. The wife hates the sexually free woman, even though they both stand oppressed in the hands of patriarchy.

Little girls are falling under the trap of hyper sexualisation and that is creating a more perverted scenario where they find it hard to fit in and adhere to set norms of beauty because they are unrealistic.

If women became sexual beings and decided to take matters in their own hands, then things could change. Women can bring about a change in the way society perceives and separates us.

Maybe there can be BALANCE if men and women contribute to the sexual repertoire. It will benefit us as a culture.

Ladies reading this, you need to reclaim the INNER WHORE and trust on your vagina. You have to begin a relationship with it and start to love it. Like your womb.

You can only bring pleasure to your husband if you learn to pleasure yourself and take sex as an artform. If you tap into the COURTESAN archetype, you will see how it shifts your whole energy signature and sexually awakened tigresses are beacons of hope for the rest of the females because we have been so repressed and controlled in that department that we have lost our voices to speak of sexual pleasure. Or wait, people might call you a SLUT/WHORE.

So what?

 

DONATE TO ME AND SUPPORT THIS WORK

I intend to work with escorts, sex workers and others from the sex industry and am available for Talks, Seminars and Discussions. Feel free to book me for such events.

tina@tinaheals.com

Twinflame Musings~~

These lovely words keep ringing in my ears, from King Solomon’s The Song of Songs: “My beloved spake, and said unto me, ‘Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, lo! the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come.’ ”

 

Fragments of lives lived swim through my consciousness as the eclipse season approaches. The North Node is firing up my individual sense of SELF and is connecting me super strongly to my Twinflame. The North Node and South Node are in Leo/Aquarius polarity. Strangely, my partner is Aquarius Sun and I am Leo Sun. If you are either, then this alignment will bring into focus your EXS, CURRENT PARTNER, POTENTIAL PARTNERS(TWINFLAMES), FOES, GROUPS, FRIENDS and TEAMS. The last time the NN was in Leo was back in 1999, one of the most pivotal moments of my life. For the first time, I claimed my Leonine self and broke off a horrible and abusive relationship with a narcissist. I began to author my life, left my city, moved alone to Bombay and began to live alone. And I feel that my twinflame portal is opening. It’s complicated

With each meditation on twinflames, I have had some really intense flashbacks and with Chiron, Neptune going retro my dreamtime is jampacked and I’m lovin’ it. I have felt, touched, sensed that person in ways that cannot be described by mere words. I have felt his energy so strongly that it took me awhile to return to this reality. This 3D timeline. And some other people have also felt this intensity while meditating with me on FB at 11.11. If you want to connect with your twin, then join us whenever you want at 11.11 pm IST. You can do it in your timezone too.

Space and Time does not exist and Carlyle echoes this truth that they are the “deepest of all illusory appearances.” Everything is an illusion, then what of love? What of the Twinflame concept? This Full Moon may be in practical and steadfast Capricorn, but there is so much SCORPIONIC energy in the air that it is  making me feel all sorts of raw and primal. My whole being is heightened and there is a deep sense of yearning- for union. Deep, sexual union of the mystical kind.

Plato’s allegory of the cave rings true to this concept. You know how 3D relationships are so painful and we think that that is love. But it is not. It is like those shadows that Plato’s cavemen saw and the Twinflame relationship is like the blinding light that hit them when they finally turned and looked at the light. Yes sure the twinflame revelation will be painful, but you will finally look towards the light. Is that not worth it?

You see your consciousness is not confined to this space/time continuum, but you are not accessing all the portals. With your present state of awareness, you see less than 1% of the elecromagnetic spectrum. There is so much happening right under your nose, but you are blissfully unaware. Only during meditation can you access those energies.

Sometimes being unaware aka ignorant is bliss. You settle into the life in front of you, isolate yourself from your authentic needs and desires and bury your nose in the pussy of consumerism and materialism. There is nothing beyond the five senses yes?

What is in front of you, you believe to be real. If you can touch someone, feel someone, kiss someone, then you know they are here, they are real. But what if you have felt someone with equal intensity, except not in the 3D physical world, but in the realms of 5D consciousness.

Reincarnating through aeons of space/time, you have lived as so many beings. You have been everything that there is to be and finally you have donned the role of a human. The Universe is one of infinite number of multiverses stacked on top of one another. There is no end, there is no beginning. It is cyclical.

The GODHEAD or the ULTIMATE TRANSCENDENTAL REALITY is impersonal and is the source code from which the matrix comes into being. Esoteric wisdom says that we are the breaths of the GODHEAD, we come into being with the EXHALATION and we return to deep sleep in the CREATOR with the INHALATION.

Duality seems to be the CRUX of this manifested Universe and that is reflected in the world through multiple rules and patterns that the Universe displays. This duality is the very fundamental basis for the Twinflame theory. When we separate from a homogeneous WHOLE into TWO, we experience the Universe.

Male/Female polarities make this reality visible. Your yearning for sexual union is nothing but a yearning to crawl back into the original state of innocence when there was no separation. What is sex? Male/female polarities coming together- the lingam and the yoni, each created for the other, unite in friction which brings forth the seed of life.

You know this yearning for sex and love finally becomes mysticism and spirituality if you know how to channel these energies to their highest vibrations. When you truly experience love(not fall in love), then you are infused with a DIVINE FERVOUR.

Have you noticed how new lovers do not need to eat, sleep or do anything as long as they are with each other. But this wears off for most of us and we are left with disappointments after the honey-moon phase. What happens? The whole structure of family is disintegrating. Love, dating, relationships are severely challenged. Ask a Twinflame coach, she will tell you.

What then is the necessity of a concept like twinflames? Isn’t that supposed to create more havoc with our lives. Everything has its good and bad, its positive and negative side. I already spoke of duality which is all pervasive. Hence nothing is irredeemably evil or good.

“Esoteric philosophy admits neither good nor evil per se, as existing independently in nature” ~~HPB

The Twinflame concept is interwoven in the fabric of our psyche. This all-consuming, intense and electrifying love, love which poets have written about, musicians have composed unbelievable melodies for…we all crave it. Yet, it eludes us, most of us. But some will pursue it till the last breath. Kinda dramatic right? Leo energy. Ha!

Most of us are willing to be ignorant that such love exists, for we do not want to get off our asses and do all the hard work. Ignorance is bliss. You do not meet your Twinflame in most incarnations. Nope! That is enough to deter most. But let me tell you, most relationships nowadays is addictive. But your connection to your twinflame is not addictive, it is all about CONNECTION. Such deep connection that it will reconnect you to the Earth, to all life and to the Cosmos at large. Yes that is the power of love.

Even though it might be for a person, if you are successful at holding onto that frequency for long, then you will be emancipated from this 3D space/time continuum. You are a conduit for much highers forces. Life in 3D is messy, but it is this mess that you have to straighten. It is your mess and it is my mess. It is a collective mess.

I am a persona non grata in certain circles due to my research and teachings on twinflames. People have blatantly tried to tell me that my search is futile. I am wasting my time. They have tried to hint that maybe I am not happy with my relationship.

There is only one thing I can say to those haters. I am a messenger of love and love will always be my subject of study. I will scrutinise and study all meanings, definitions, experiences that love has to offer. It is my KARMIC POTENTIALITY which has given me this IMPULSE to explore this theme and share it with the world and everyone in my life supports me a 100%. There!

I had been aware of this twinflame energy since I can remember. This intense yearning for this type of love has given me artistic and creative energy, it helped me integrate dance, magick and ecstatic orgasms in my artwork. And being psychic I have seen and felt things I cannot describe.

Let me share with you a vision I had recently. For a while I have been dreaming about lighthouses. I don’t know where this particular lighthouse stands, but I can tell you it is one of the most breathtaking locales your eyes can ever see. It’s like a painting. There is a storm raging and I am opposite the lighthouse, staring at the blinking light. There is a din and a boat seems to be swaying in the turbulence. My heart is in my mouth as I wait for the safe anchoring of that boat. I run down the steep slopes. Tumbling down the treacherous path, I cut myself and rip my clothes, blood gushing down my arms. Suddenly there is blood gushing out of my vagina. My heart beats with intensity as I touch that blood. Whoosh, whoosh! Suddenly there is a wave. Ginormous it is. A tsunami. Almost. My heart skips a beat as the wave comes crashing down and suddenly someone holds me tightly and I can sense his breathing. I close my eyes as his hands carress my skin and breasts. The panic has left me. The wave is about to hit us, and I am sure it is the end. I know it is him. The one I have been searching, but I have not seen his face or glimpsed into his eyes. How will I recognise him? Fuck that now, the huge wave will hit me any moment and I am so turned on. But it does not. I open my eyes and realise that someone I am in cave. The whole cave looks like a Garden of Eden. Yes I am naked and no my Adam is not there. The scene begins to disintegrate. I begin to howl which morphed into a cacophony, playing through multiple dimensions. No, I want to see him. Out of nowhere a tune begins to play. I remember that tune. It was all so real. No it is because it is happening somewhere. I do not know where. Somewhere.

Do you want to know more about your love story? Your twinflame journey?

Look at Leo which is the 5th house. What planets are there?

Where is your Sun? Where is Venus? If you are a man, look for your Venus Mars placements that will tell you what kind of a woman you desire. For example, Venus in Leo guys desire a glamour queen. Venus in Aquarius desires something unconventional. If you are a woman, check for both your Venus and Mars placements. Your Mars placement will tell you what kind of a guy you prefer and your Venus will tell you what type of a lover you are. Then check your Libra. What planets are there, what house is it? You may also look at Taurus and the second house to some degree. I have a HIGHLY ACTIVE LEO section, although my 5th house is Capricorn and there are no planets there. Leo is my 12th house, so love has this poignant overture of loss and pain. It has always been that way.

There is much to write and will take it up soon…

Are you interested to meet your TWINFLAME? Are you in one such relationship?

tina@tinaheals.com

http://www.tinaheals.com

 

 

 

 

The Song of Remembrance~ Twinflame Awakening

Is it immortality I seek?

I dare not make such demands.

For what if I have to be without you?

There is no meaning in the meaninglessness of life.

Without you.

You ignite the fire of my soul.

And wild passions in my body.

Life itself is a mockery.

A moment equals to numerous lifetimes.

Have you forgotten everything?

All those smiles and tears.

Those tears in smiles and those smiles in tears.

In all those Universes and dimensions?

Do you not remember how my tears flow every time I kiss you?

Do you not feel my pain?

All those lives we lived.

In each other’s embrace.

You have forgotten every single thing.

From every single lifetime.

And I am cursed with remembrance.

It is my curse to burn in the fires of anguish.

To yearn to be one with you.

Here I am Beloved.

To sing about those days.

I will find you, you will see.

Life moves on.

Do you remember the last time you died in my arms?

For it has happened many, many times.

Watching life leave you, my beloved.

I have died a million deaths.

But what is life?

What is death?

Energy never dies.

It is indestructible.

Do you at least remember the times I died in your arms?

Do you feel any of that intensity?

We return time and again.

On this Earth,

For the vow of love.

Do you not remember your multiple lives?

Nirvana eludes us my beloved.

Because all we want is each other.

And we are willing to be born again and again.

I have wanted you and you me,

For eternity.

We have loved and been together through unending time.

How many more times will we incarnate?

To carry on with this vicious cycle?

To just love each other?

This vibration pulls us here.

To be born in flesh.

As man and woman.

To touch each other and make love.

In Mesopotemia.

In Egypt.

In the Indus Valley.

In Babylon.

I have always been looking for you.

And you for me.

Do you remember?

How we were separated in the Tower of Babylon?

When we began to speak different languages?

Did you understand the language of my eyes?

For words mean nothing.

My beloved, I look for you in the stars above.

In the myths, legends and fairytales of mankind.

In the eternal love stories of humanity.

That first initiation.

On the banks of the Ganges.

The Buddha initiated us.

We were both together my beloved.

As we embraced the eternal Dharma.

That sunrise in Bodhgaya.

That mantra still rings in my ears.

Have you forgotten it?

Us, side by side, holding hands.

Surrendering to the Universe.

Your shaven head.

Your teary eyes.

I know those eyes.

Do all these memories not reside in you?

I remember it all, my beloved.

Our revolution and love.

You and me.

Through space and time.

Wash away the debris from your heart.

Feel our deep connection.

That nothing can erase.

I remind you my love,

You will keep coming back and so will I.

Till we do not join in sacred union.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mars in Cancer~ Female-led relationships

If you look at FLR it looks like the safest relationship a woman can have. She makes the rules, she sets the boundaries, she has final say and he both loves her and supports her in her role. In any other relationship, women do not enjoy that kind of freedom or safety. This is a functional model for any woman who wants more control and less strife. There should be zero downside to female led relationships when entered into with open eyes and a whole heart between two people who love each other.” — A BBS entry from Asserting leadership

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=female-led%20relationship

With Mars in Cancer, Venus in Taurus, so many planets in the water signs, the energy is very feminine and that makes the ALPHA MALE archetype redundant. Boys, step aside and let the women take the lead. Do not feed into the male are superior bullshit, because they are not.

A female-led relationship, also known as wife-led marriage or loving female authority by its advocates, is where the woman is the married head of the household and makes all the decisions. It is not a thing of whips and chains and leather (though sometimes it does become that!) – it is just a different power arrangement.

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.

—Socrates

It’s  inevitable!

Your man’s inner-voice speaks to him about his ultimate desire to support, protect and please his Goddess. He wants you to BE-come that Goddess! There is nothing like sweet, sweet surrender. Society used to be a matriarchy and a woman could freely choose who she wanted to copulate with. Marriage as we know it and even monogamy did not exist.

Sexual union was spiritual and liberal. There was no slut shaming or name calling. No rumours, no lies. Just pure sacredness of the Union between man and woman.

FEMDOM, the most type of Female led relationships is where a man becomes in a slave to serve his Goddess. He is her toy. This definitely has a tantric oeuvre. In Tantra, the Goddess or Shakti is revered and worshipped. Femdom is sorta like that. Does that excite you as much as it excites me?

Level 3 Female-led relationship

The couple is likely to develop a servant/master type relationship with the woman in charge. The woman takes much greater control of the man, telling him where he can go and when he can go there, who he can talk to, what he can wear, what he can eat, what he can say and when he can speak. She will take control of his money and decide where they are going as a couple. The man forfeits say in just about everything and in most relationships at this level, that’s exactly the way he wants it.

A lot of men are now taking this seriously…and surrendering to the yoni/vagina~

Do you want to?

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

—Timothy Leary

The next level mostly moves to fetish and BDSM and now she wants pets and slaves.

Do you know some of the most powerful men in the world are subs and slaves. Not being in control in bed is such a huge turn on for these men. Having his woman play such games with him will drive your man nuts. Believe me.

If your man likes to dress up in your clothes. Dress him up for fuck’s sake, or else he will do it with someone else. Most men fantasise about being dominated by a gorgeous diva. They love it.

Punish him if he has been a bad boy. In fact, female led relationships have been known to make men feel more secure and safe.

A short musing~~

No one had ever squeezed his dick so hard.

And called it a clit.

Humiliated him.

Made him crawl on all fours.

No one had done all those things.

All he wanted to do, was wear her panties.

He was afraid to look in her eyes.

His phone rings again and his heart skips a beat.

She is his top and he, her bottom.

 

She uses and abuses him, she plays with him.

And she never kisses him.

Just that once.

She kissed him, just that once.

His cock hurts and his balls are blue.

But she has now thrown the keys away.

Sometimes taking control in the bedroom becomes very therapeutic for your man. Remember, he is as much a victim of toxic patriarchy as you are. Give him the chance to reveal his most tender side. Try it and become the dominant.

Chastity devise~

Forced chastity is the best part of all this. When your man is full of pent up sexual energy and dependent upon you for its release he is truly at his best. Part of it is chemical/hormonal. Part of it is psychological. Built up sexual energy is exactly that, energy! A normally lazy man who has not had an orgasm in a long time is full of energy. He wants to do things. He needs some way to either express or sublimate that sexual energy. All you have to do is tell him the things he needs to do. He’ll do them!

Let him be all fluffy and express himself. Let his BE HIMSELF. Let his drop all the masks he wears. Please discuss it with him.

Embrace him with all your heart.

Introduce him to anal play if you haven’t already. A man can only have a full bodied orgasm, if his Gspot is activated and that is up the anus. You have to finger his through the backdoor. lol! So to speak. Unsure? Email me.

Playing the Top in bed can be challenging for you if you are a sub. Then by all means ignore this. But if you are like me, then read on.

Showing your man that you are the very embodiment of Black Moon Lilith will initiate a new relationship dynamics between you both. Remember that. I for one have been studying the art of Japanese bondage or Shibari for the last five years. Love it! BTW I am not the one tied up, I do the tying up! Lol!

Men like to be mothered. Haha! Don’t be sick, read on.

Men like women to be in control, whether they are ready to face it or not.

Take control tonight as Mars is still in Cancer. He will be sensitive and open. More connected to his feminine side. Overpower him, but do it convincingly.

Open up to him and tell him your fantasies. Hear his out too. Speaking honestly is the best way you can preserve your relationship.

Email me for more on this and how FLRs can help you harness the energy of the Goddess.

http://www.tinaheals.com

tina@tinaheals.com

Men’s minds are raised to the level of the women with whom they associate.

—Alexandre Dumas Pere

 

Twinflames and Serendipity~~

There are only patterns, patterns on top of patterns, patterns that affect other patterns. Patterns hidden by patterns. Patterns within patterns. If you watch close, history does nothing but repeat itself. What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can’t decipher. What we can’t understand we call nonsense.” – Chuck Palahniuk

I know, I know that it has been a while since I have written from my little black book of Twinflame secrets. Hehe 😉 And although I have not been able to respond to all the messages, I am reading them as and when I find time.

My life is changing every second, I can feel it. The MAGDALENE WOUNDS I have been living with are disappearing and once and for all I will let them go this New Moon in Cancer. As I immerse myself more and more in meditation, I am sensing how everything that ever happened makes absolute sense now.

Everything. Everything. Everything.

Even the first time, when my then boyfriend forced himself on me while I was inebriated. Even the first time my uncle touched me inappropriately. Even the numerous times I have been slut shamed because I rejected the advances of those rumour mongers in question. Believe me I have suffered for a long time and suffered quietly. Detaching myself from people. Hating people. Becoming numb, becoming cold.

Everything changed with Goa and I began to come into my power. For the first time I began to see through new lenses and I discovered the technology to destroy the ego based destructive feedback loop. The subatomic particles in flux made sense. Atoms repel one another to hold form, made sense. In freaking whatever way I can grasp it. Very subjective this journey. But I am compelled to share this with you.

The Observer’s Paradox made sense. Waves become particles in space and time as they get observed. They are in positions of infinite probabilities before observation occurs. As if the Universe is letting the Observer or US decide what we want to EXPERIENCE. All that you see in the world is OUR COLLECTIVE VIBRATION! Welcome to hell! Just kidding, it is not all bad! After all we have LOVE!

The Multiverse Theory! What then of your Twinflame? Do you have the same Twinflame in all the bloody Multiverses? Well my friends, I think that in all the Universes, multiple versions exist of yourself and maybe in this Universe, X is your Twinflame, but in a daughter Universe, X may be your brother. But you may still feel CONNECTED to him- passionately.

It is too wild to speculate on multiple Universes, so let us just look at this one for now. And here, right now, there is THE ONE you need to UNITE with. And that is not going to be easy!

Being extremely psychic, I always knew there was more to reality that what we perceived. I sensed the infiniteness of the Universe each time I looked up at the sky full of stars. But my psychic experiences were not all sugar and spice and everything nice! The sights and sounds were frightening before I began to make sense out of them and that was after a very traumatic experience in my life at five when I was confronted by a death in my family. It was a case of suicide.

I became the freak, the outsider, the stranger because I was the girl who saw ghosts(energies), heard things, felt stuff no one else did. It was stressful, for them and for me!

I stopped speaking about my experiences, visions and awareness of the supernatural/ paranormal. I began to abhor all that I was seeing, all that I was feeling. I was sick of being known as the girl who cries at everything. Being an empath, watching a film can be a messy bag of tissues affair. The problem is that I FEEL TOO DEEPLY. I hurt too deeply and I love too deeply too.

Talking about loving deeply…

Love is a passion, an intense meditation/worship and that is what got me into this whole Twinflame thing and the fact that I have felt my Twinflame since I can remember. Even before my sexual awakening. It’s not so strange if you think of the PRINCIPLE OF NON LOCALITY as posited in QUANTUM MECHANICS.

It states that an object can be influenced at a great distance via stimuli given to a non-locally-connected object. Imagine how much you can influence your Twinflame? How much energy you can exchange? Only if you are aware that this can be done! It can be done. I do it everyday. And this principle is what also connects you to your core 144.

This quest of gathering information about lovers and love became an OBSESSION and is what made me become a Twinflame Coach and each day it convinced me that Twinflames are NOT ABOUT ROMANCE as we understand it now. The brand of romance that Hollywood and Mills and Boons sold my generation is not what you will discover in the Twinflame journey.

Because all of those love stories have been written by patriarchy. Women are objects you see. They are to be adored and protected. They are not people, they are possessions. They are not even known by their own names, but have to take on the husband’s! This drove me nuts and I have rejected all this toxic status quo.

This was a bastard if anything, not love! This is all EGO BASED! Where is the love? Not only the insatiable sexual longing! But love…Everything is possible in the vibration of love.

So many times I wanted to give up. Because life served me only disappointments in my romantic and sexual journey. I surely know how to pick em. Ha! So many times I wanted to give up. I convinced myself. No! Tina, you are a dumb bitch and love does not exist. Your Twinflame does not exist. I now see where I went wrong of course. Every break up is a two way thing and I really could not have had anything sustainable with any of my exes.

The journey seemed arduous! But I tirelessly kept at it. It only made sense to work with and explore this energy as no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, my visions and meditations pointed it out to me and I kept channelling, making notes, speaking to people, looking for my Twinflame.

I knew THE ONE exists. Sounds like the matrix, I know. Today I feel that this ONE is not a person in a physical body. This ONE is an ENERGY. That energy may have dissipated and incarnated into two people! Is that possible? The thing is, we do not know.

However, Lhamas in Tibet have been known to incarnate in more than one person. Sometimes a monk may even incarnate in three people! That throws the whole Twinflame hypothesis into a toss, doesn’t it? No I say. As I have already stated, in 5D awareness this ONE is an energy. In 3D we hold  onto physical forms real tight. For that is tangible. That is something we can see, hold, touch, taste, fuck…

In 5D, you are a LIGHT BEING who has no need for any of these messy human 3D shit. What fun then in life, you ask? Maybe you need to take a moment to consider that your insatiable craving for life is what keeps you tied to this reality and you are born over and over again, in this world of pain and pleasure, to experience all that life has to offer.

So back to what makes me so interested in Twinflames and Sacred Sexuality. My peeps I am a Tantrika of many lifetimes and Pluto in the second house with Uranus in the eighth house aesthetics play out in me donning this Muse of Love role, you see. It makes me a Healer of DEEP Psycho-sexual issues. Loads of Virgo energy and Moon in Pisces. I am a High Priestess from many lifetimes.

I am going to answer three questions here from my readers who wish to remain anonymous. I will answer them and that should shed a lot of light on the Twinflame Phenomenon.

  1. Hi there, I am writing to you in frustration. My Twin just got married to some woman he just met. I know he is my twin, but he seems to be lost. Am I deluding myself? Is he a false twin?

Hello…I’m so happy to hear from you and can completely understand your frustration at your Twinflame being with someone else. In fact this Solstice has given me such an energy boost that I found the time to contemplate much on Twinflames. I connected with mine as well. In fact, never before have I managed to connect to his morphological field as I just did these last couple of days. I know now that he is close, very close. But for instance, I finally discover who he is and get to know he is already married. What then? Maybe he has a child. What then? Presuming that he does not know who I am, but I do. Then will it be wise for me to tell him? I don’t think it is always wise to open up too quickly. It often takes months to know this energy. But for some it is instantaneous, I have seen that too.

If you have been keeping up with your spiritual practices, then you will be resonating at such a frequency that “false twins” cannot remain in your energy field for too long. They are forced to drop off. Only your true Twinflame can remain in that vibration as your yin/yang polarity. If you have not evolved your spiritual instincts, then I suggest, get right to it. The truth shall appear. Use this watery Cancer New Moon to journal on your Twinflame and pay special attention to your dreams.

2) Are Twinflames incarnating more now than ever?

Well that is a very valid question. As a matter of fact, they are. In my channelling I have been told that since the hippy movement(the rise of the PSYCHEDELICS), give or take 10 years, many Twinflames have undertaken this difficult task of incarnating on 3D Earth. Their mission is ASCENSION and reconnecting humanity with SACRED PSYCHO-SOMATIC TECHNOLOGIES like LSD, Ayahuasca.

They are here to teach about INFINITE LOVE, art, music and dance. That is their quest. They incarnate to show us the power of love and INTERCONNECTEDNESS. They make us believe in fairy tales, because, believe you me, in every anecdote, in every drop of tear fall, in every ray of sunshine, all we humans crave for is this total CONNECTION aka the Twinflame love.

When we hear of an Indian man cycling all the way to Sweden to meet the love of his life, we feel a sense of wonder. We all feel loved. We all are a little bit more ready to trust in the process of love. It does not happen much, but when it does, it is magic.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/04/pk-mahanandia-cycle-india-sweden-love-untouchable/

Soon I will be releasing Twinflame meditation AUDIO MODULES you can listen to and tune into the frequency of your Twinflame.

3) How will love be in 5D?

OMFG! Love that! 5D or Christ/Krishna Consciousness is all about INFINITE TIMELINES merging together. Your Twinflame and you become a UNIFIED FIELD OF CONSCIOUSNESS. There is no separation as you understand it. In fact your SOUL TRIBE is now with you. Your core 144.

Let me share an occult axiom. The Sun you see is just an emanation of the TRUE SUN, the SPIRITUAL SUN that is the real powerhouse behind all this phenomenon. This dance of the subatomic particles is orchestrated here. The SPIRITUAL SUN sends forth a figure of 12 facets into every atom of the SOLAR SYSTEM. The SUN downloads his light(information) from this SOURCE CODE. Let us consider this to be the HEART CHAKRA of our solar system, the beloved MILKY WAY which is feminine in her vibration!

This 12 multiplied by 12 or the 144 are the original LIPIKAS or BUILDERS as HPB calls them. From these beings, the whole cosmos emerges. 12 is divided multiple times and further subdivided and the plethora of creation can be seen.

The Sun has a heartbeat, so does the Moon and so does the Earth and every single heavenly body. The Sun’s heartbeats create the SUNSPOTS or SOLAR EJECTIONS which give us life as we know it.

All life on Earth receives this LIGHT from the flares and it affects our central nervous system and brain functions. Scientists have been studying this phenomenon. Go through these articles below to grasp this.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/dec/31/solar-flare-sun-touches-our-psyche/

http://www.theeventchronicle.com/metaphysics/metascience/solar-flares-directly-affect-human-consciousness/#

Love in 5D will be full of infinite possibilities. You can alter what you like. But maybe, you might not want to. After all it is your journey that made you who you are. Every single scar- wear it like a badge of honour that you give yourself. Every wound, every insult, every hurtful manipulation, use them as fire to fuel your creativity. For in 5D you will NOT FEEL ANY PAIN as you understand pain. You will not grow old or die.

Madame Blavatsky notes that just as every external human action is preceded by internal thought, emotion, and will, “the universe is worked and guided from within outwards.” (SD I: 274). 144 created through MALE/FEMALE polarities. A Shiva/Shakti. Therefore in all the forms there is a SHIVA/SHAKTI aspect. Externally if you are a male, there is your female polarity. Might be same sex, but imbibes the feminine archetype. Therefore in this reality we all have our Twinflames who are our opposite energy.

However back to this 3D world.

Remember that when you unite with your Twinflame, you might need to take on SPIRITUAL or some sort of CREATIVE LEADERSHIP ROLE. It happens so many times. You might even collaborate on a work of art that inspires generations to come. Kind of like Lennon and Yoko Yono. Finally she is being credited for the lyrics of IMAGINE and isn’t Lennon happy today! She is his Twinflame after all. Together they have inspired millions…to love, to be different, to be fearless.

That is the lesson of the Twinflame. Tell me, are you ready to learn this? It might break your heart into smithereens. Will you risk it? Will you risk losing everything? To gain EVERYTHING? Think about it. And start to MEDITATE on your Twinflame and send THE ONE energy.

This, then, is the ultimate paradox of thought: to want to discover something that thought itself cannot think.” – Søren Kierkegaard

I hold Workshops and Meditation Sessions to connect to your Twinflame. Email me for details- tina@tinaheals.com