Intimacy in sex


All my feelings have the colour you desire to paint. ~Rumi

What do you think is intimacy? Lying in bed, naked, making out? What is the exact connotation of intimacy? I looked up the Thesaurus, but nothing did justice to the concept I am carrying around in my mind.

Intimacy is not nakedness. Intimacy is not sex. Intimacy is not making out in the rain. I agree, all of those could become perfectly intimate moments, but most often they are not allowed to reach their full potential.

I know I have experienced this intimacy. I know I have a very intimate relationship with my man. But even with some my other lovers, I have felt intimacy.

Intimacy comes from a place of total surrender and I don’t mean the S&M way where one becomes a sub or a Dom. No, I mean a space that is created with energetic vibrations that allows for two individuals to renounce their singular selves and become united as ONE.

ONENESS is where everything is headed. Which is why sex is so magical. It can show you a glimpse of that UNITY. And wow, is that beautiful!

Intimacy can only come if you are connected on a soul level. Even though you might have had sex with that hunky guy, but felt hollow afterwards..why? The sex was amazing, but it was still not intimate. The sparks were flying, but it was not of the higher frequency.

But some lovers feel like “home”. Yes when you make love to them, it is like fucking coming home. Everything makes sense in that moment of passionate embrace. The intensity, the excitement, the soul connection…it drives you crazy and it feels just right.

Like its meant to be. What heights of sexual intensity! What exciting new experimentation in bed! The chemistry is sizzling and all the time there is this feeling of knowing him/her, being in this position with him/her, loving him/her with every atom of your body! Have you not felt this?

I was never up for marriage. The fact that I am going to fuck one man for the rest of my life while he gives me home, security and food is not up my alley. But it happened and I don’t regret it. I never take sex as an obligation.

I don’t think I have to fuck him just because he is my husband. I want to do it and experience intimate moments with him which is why I do it. You have to first understand how you approach sex to correct any imbalances in your sex life.

If you want to explore sex as a deeper journey of the human consciousness, then see that person as a soul. Not just a soul, but a part of that ONE SOUL from which we have all emanated. Yes we are ONE! So once you set this parameter, then no sex can be cheap. No encounter becomes humiliating!

You are uniting in divine sexual energy exchange with another soul to experience the beauty of the yin/yang! How fucking sublime is that!

Sweety, change your perspective. If a woman is somehow lessened because she slept with you, then seriously dude, it is you who needs much soul searching. You cock cannot debase a woman. No in fact it energises her. Just like her pussy energises you when you allow divine sexual bliss to happen.

Being conscious is everything. In the moment. Looking into his eyes, feeling his breath, smelling him…you need to be aware! Fucking Zen master style! As your awareness is concentrated, you will begin to see and feel so much!

Feelings you have never felt. Sensations you have never enjoyed. Put it in the backseat. Your pleasure that is! Stop being selfish in love. It can never work. Think of giving him/her the most pleasure and then you will see that you have become ONE with the pleasure. You have become the pleasure and the pleaser and in all of this, you will become the pleased.

Surrender my Beloved! Dance with him- naked. Feel the wind on your skin, the sun rays kissing your naked body while you twirl in the most delicious dance of existence. Kiss him like it is the last thing you will do. Even if it is some dude you met a week ago and things are not going that great.

If you have kept up your relationship with him, then invest this time and effort because this not only makes the moment divine, but it helps you tremendously in your psychological/spiritual and physical journey. If you treat the experience as sacred, my sweets, it becomes sacred.

There can be no guilt, no shame, no judgement…it is just sacred. With each divine lovemaking experience, you are opening yourself up to finally become the COSMIC LOVER of all. Not to love and be loved in return…but just to LOVE.

For being in LOVE is our natural state. Like JUST BEING. Breathing, loving…it is the same. Take sex to become the tool for your metamorphosis into becoming a DIVINE LOVER OF ALL. In fact, after a certain point of expressing this love…you will have become that love. That love is samadhi. That love is God, Christos, Krishna, Sunyata, Allah!!!

Accept your lover as an expression of the INTELLIGENT DESIGN that birthed the galaxies, the nebulae, the ginormous space structures that we humans can only gawk at. Look at him like he is the only man on Earth. Stop thinking of other people. That not only insults his soul, but is very damaging to yours.

Guys I suggest you do this too. Make her feel like she is the ONLY WOMAN ALIVE at that point when you are making love to her. Bare yourself to her. Cry, sing, dance…basically don’t let societal norms and mores hold your divine masculine in. Don’t box him him.

The DIVINE MASCULINE is wounded. The DIVINE FEMININE has to save him for he is here to save her. We are here with each other, for each other and we are in each other.

All the polarities are within. The Universe is within. BARE YOUR SOUL people!! Lay it out there and feel the catharsis when you make love. It is sublime. Let the CHI flow as it wants to. Observe it and you will see how energy bonds with energy to create something magical, sometimes it births a whole new reality!

Your body is the vessel of the COSMIC SOUL. It speaks through the rhythms of our bodies, the pulsations. Let the waves of cosmic desire surface in your consciousness, feel them ride through your groins and express that potency as a powerful orgasm to return divine love and ecstasy back to the Universe. It will change your whole POV(point of view).

Guys, enter your woman with your soul energy. And women, accept his cock inside you with your soul energy. The heart chakra is to be operational here. Do not expect him to play into standard patriarchal roles and do not restrict yourself to typical female roles that society has shoved on us. Do not label or play roles. 

JUST BE! He is in your life to create a sacred vibrational space for your soul growth, as you are going to do for him. These feelings are so sublime and profound that human comprehension is dwarfed in front of them. No words can adequately describe what a conscious sexual relationship can do.

You’ve just got to feel it. Feel it…It is the most magical thing you can do for yourself! Love and honour the sacredness of sex. Hold each other- tightly. So tight that both your breaths become one. Breathe together and stay in the moment. 

No thinking of tomorrow. No thoughts of where this is going. Nothing. If those thoughts come, smile at them and watch them without passion. Without you provoking, thoughts are powerless. Just use all your concentration of the five senses to be AWARE. 

Watch how you feel. If at any point you feel cheapened in any way, respectfully say no. Make sure you are always in the position to say no. Never go through the sexual act if your soul says no. In such cases, you may attract entities with lower vibrations who can feed on your energy. 

Give each other strength! Strength to express themselves to become who they are meant to be. To be aligned with their soul purpose. Work on each other with your touch, kisses and your tongue. Make sure you have set aside enough time to let her become fully aroused before intercourse.

Set aside at least twenty minutes for that! Do not rush sex. Do not cheat yourself or her/him!

With Venus going retrograde many issues on love and intimacy will surface and this time you should make sure you have ticked everything off the list to move on to the next level. When Venus goes retro, we usually tend to experience love and sex pretty intensely and the journey is mostly internal.

To work through these issues, Venus challenges us to understand INTIMACY. That one word can change everything in your life…but you have to allow the magic of intimacy to wash over your you. 

You can do meditations on intimacy…become intimate with everything…how? Say you love the North Star! Stare at it every night. Begin to talk to it. Tell it all your secrets and feel, truly feel intimate with it. You can do this with all things.

Your personal things will be easier to make intimate. But try this with the world around you…

If you have any questions about sacred sexuality, feel free to email me – tina@tinaheals.com

Feel feel to comment, share and like…thank you!

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Sex is a multidimensional creative and spiritual act!!!

16707304_10155001164674450_3286114529445172152_oThe way in which any given culture treats the vagina — whether with respect or disrespect, caringly or disparagingly — is a metaphor for how women in general in that place and time are treated…NAOMI WOLF

How does our society treat pussy? Hahahahaha…

I am going straight to it. I will talk about the cunt/pussy/vagina. What words come to your mind? Abuse? Belittling? To denote a coward!

To this, I have to quote Betty Davis. Didn’t she say that balls are weak? They are fragile and hurt easily. Compare it to a vag. The vag is equipped to pop out a child for fuck’s sake! That is like some fifty four fractures happening in one go.

Forget the theory! I laboured for seventeen hours, so I know how painful it can get. I had begun to cultivate a friendship with my pussy over the months of my pregnancy. It happened organically.

A conversation started which made me write my book Pussy Talks. Yes I am looking to publish it and share my experiences with the world.

I have been gathering sex stories from men and women for over six years now. It started off as a research project for a script, but became an obsession soon. Exploring people’s sexual memories with them can have a profound effect on the psyche.

It is absurd the way sex is perceived. It is shown to be immoral, only for procreating and blah, blah. In fact, it is in conflict with some of our highest ideals and aspirations.

Why? What is so disgusting or disturbing about sex?

When people talk about the moments they have orgasmed, or the moment they kissed not only the mouths, but the souls too, there is a certain vibration that is created. I am very aware of vibrations, energy and frequencies I pick up. This subject became of great interest to me.

The stories I collected from hundreds of people were not just of orgasms and great sex. There were moments of pain, separation, dejection, humiliation. But what was interesting is that sex is actually the very fundamental on which society operates.

Whether we are ready to consciously acknowledge it or not, I don’t know, but sex is a huge part of our lives. Studies show that men think of sex pretty much most of the times and trust me, going by my data, women don’t fall short either.

If not, often times women crave for sex much more, but are ashamed and guilty of admitting it. Yes society has scared us into thinking that if we women think of sex or feel sexual then we are nymphos. Bad, bad, women. Lock them up, grab them by the pussies and burn them at the stake.

If nothing so severe, harm her by maligning her reputation, spread online gossip. Or maybe even throw acid on her face. Fuck knows who these morons are, but they exist.

Watch how we spend so much getting wasted in nightclubs and pubs, talking to strangers whom we may not like, but what is going on in our heads? How do I touch her exposed abs? How do I touch his biceps? We play so many games of coquetry and crap, that it is time, we acted more like grown ups and claimed our sexuality.

During sex, most of us are scared to reveal their inner most self. The vulnerable self. We spend more time trying to hide who we are. Men play into machismo tropes whereas women play into being the role he likes her in the most. I mean in most cases, I have seen this.

Very few women actually have told me that they speak to their guys about their intimate sexual fantasies. I do. I cannot not tell my partner. And he does the same. We are so much stronger for this. Because from day 1, I made it clear to him that this is who I am and I love sex. The rubbing together of organs, the kisses, the penetration, everything leads up to a climactic point where I can just BE and explore all of myself.

Use sex as a grounding mechanism to remind you of how perfect we humans are in our imperfections and ultimately that is what being human means- in all its rich messiness, desires and longings.

Why is PUSSY a derogatory word? Our first step to reclaim our sacred sexuality will be to understand the word PUSSY/VAGINA.

Listen your pussy is not only connected to the brain, but is a part of your soul. Yes it is. It is sacred and it is the very seat of your feminine powers.

Sex in today’s world is just a physiological experience, driven by evolution, some would argue. But while gathering data, I sensed that the most elevating sexual experiences were shared with a like-minded individual who understands what existence means to us and shares our vision and journey. The excitement when two such souls share sexual energy is erotic and filled with creative and spiritual potency.

There is a synergy between the mind-body(brain and pussy), consciousness and the sexual urge or LIBIDO. Yes sex is a biological act, but ask yourself that have you never felt the poetics behind sex? Have you never felt a spiritual ecstasy that drops the EGO-SELF and transforms the two players to ABSOLUTE UNION!

It’s a Science and it is Spirituality! Sex influences every aspect of our being. It can be a cause of stress or a tool to address stress. The question is how do you link biology to BEING!

Once one understands what scientists at the most advanced laboratories and clinics around the world are confirming — that the vagina and the brain are essentially one network, or “one whole system,” as they tend to put it, and that the vagina mediates female confidence, creativity, and sense of transcendence — the answers to many of these seeming mysteries fall into place…Naomi Wolf

Women, your pelvic nerve is a superhighway of info that passes from the base of the spine to the cervix, connecting it to the brain and this “superhighway”is unique for every woman! And very advanced. This is why we women have such different sexual trigger points.

Some like their feet nibbled, some like breast play, some are into heavy kissing and touching, you get the plot. But the guys in comparison, have a way more simpler neural network in their pelvic area. Do you see how this piece of info completely overturns the widely accepted patriarchal sexual norms? Do you see how we women have been duped for centuries into believing that we don’t want sex?

We are now fully convinced that WOMEN DO NOT LIKE SEX. They just “do it” to please men. But friends…the interviews and data that I have been collecting screams bloody murder at this perversion of a biological reality.

Women, we have to UNLEARN these toxic lies we have been fed. I know by now we have digested the info, assimilated it and we now as a collective, fully BELIEVE IN IT. Women who like sex are vamps, fallen women, sluts, bitches, whores.

I know sex in this modern world is hard where images of perfect bodies crowd our psyche as we are about to get naked and in bed, ready to get intimate. And here we have men, born and bred, in the pornographic culture where the sexual act is concentrated on her tits and pussy. It is a linear narrative and then wham, bam, it is over! For women this is severely disappointing.

The media is feeding you non stop with subliminal prompts, binding you to this dense 3D reality by feeding your reptilian brain. This part takes care of your primary functions. They have reduced SEX to this vibration when it is clearly not so. Sex is a multidimensional creative and spiritual act.

The quintessential woman wants to play and be played with. She does not care for a quickie. This does not involve all her neurological sexual systems and leaves her unsatisfied. See, her whole body has to be involved while making love. My most fulfilling sexual experiences have been when I have managed to enter an altered state of consciousness. Yes, like with psychedelics! 😉

We women are like the shamans who have to feel fully connected and invoked to enter the sacred sexual space. In our minds, in our bodies. My most transcendent orgasms have come when I have managed to enter the dimensional vortex. Where I have lost myself, only to find myself again. But this time, I was a new person.

When sex becomes just a physiological sensation, then this aspect of out-of-body experience can get lost. In a two minute quickie you cannot grasp the beauty of the cosmos. You just feel the physical sensations and maybe mental, because the man is probably your partner, but you will never experience such transcendental bliss and awareness.

Life can be an orgasm! At least for me and some women I have worked with. Sometimes, I get so turned on by music or art or even a conversation. I like to stay in this orgasmic bliss as much as I can. My whole body begins to vibrate. My Pussy feels so aware, so awake. Such an energetic being! My sexual energy is at the peak when I know I am valued by my partner and my emotional and spiritual needs are being cared for.

Even if you are into one-night stands or sexual exploration, you can enrich your life by just being aware of each encounter and treating it like a spiritual act. You can begin by showing respect and love to your woman, even if it is for a brief moment. Best be clear of your intentions.

Sex is a tool. You can use it to achieve spiritual and psycho-somatic well being. But how? By staying PRESENT in the moment. By not being in another place, with another person. This not only insults your partner in front, but also closes you up to the possibility of creating something magical at that moment. More coming up in the book and the workshops.

My suggestion is, change your attitude to sex. No it is not just a physiological function, it is so much more. Do not be scared of it or do not feel guilty if you have sexual desires and thoughts. And even if you are in a relationship, it is perfectly alright to feel attracted to someone else.

The question is…what do you do with that attraction? Sometimes even when we feel sexual chemistry, it could also mean that the person is from our soul group. You know we all have soul groups- 144 souls in one. 12 into 12. But if your attraction hurts your partner, then it is time to start a mature dialogue.

Your partner has also felt similar feelings, but most of us will never accept it. Not even to ourselves. If you truly value the relationship you are in, you will never act on your impulses. But it is important to realise that these feelings exist! Sexual attraction and desire are absolutely NORMAL!

It is natural to have FB crushes and feel horny looking at someone you fancy, because our brains and pussies are inter-connected ladies. If we like someone mentally, we can feel sexual towards them and it may have nothing to do with their six packs.

In this rape culture, women are sexually stressed all the time. Rapes, molestation, cat calls…they go on. Which is why women are so hyper-stressed. Korean researchers have shown that when a female mouse is sexually stressed over time, she not only becomes cantankerous and angry, but her vaginal tissues also start deteriorating. Can you imagine what is happening to u s women in this culture?

Every time we hear a salacious comment, we are inhibiting dopamine receptors from producing this chemical which makes us happy, creative and confident. Every time some presses our boobs in the subway or in local trains, our pussy is actually feeling this as a tremendous painful shock.

We may not understand the implications…but this is what has turned women into enablers of patriarchy. This hurt they have been taking on for ages has resulted in the objectification of the pussy into something ugly, hideous and grotesque.

It is time to change all that. The pussy is beautiful for fuck’s sake. No matter what it looks like or where it is in the maiden, mother or crone stage. It does not fucking matter! The pussy is divine and it is about time we women and men, society as a collective realised and accepted this. What healing can occur!!!

When Donald Trump said, “GRAB THEM BY THE PUSSY”…he hurt all of us collectively. Yes…men and women. For women it is more obvious. Why? Because blood circulation in the pussy constricts when she feels threatened!! So by demeaning the pussy, he sent a direct signal to our brains that we are not safe.

Our bodies are not safe. Our reproductive rights are not ours. We are smaller, so we get less pay…the misogynistic saga continues!

But who is going to change all this? So much hurt, so much pain? If we muster enough compassion for the wounded masculine, we can heal him. With sex, with love, with our feminine powers, our yin energy.

The first step must be to heal ourselves, our pussies and our own wounds. For when this healing occurs, you will look at the world anew. After much study, experimentation, meditation and experience, I have devised a MEDITATION MODULE called the WOMB JOURNEY! This has been very beneficial to loads of women I have shared this with.

If you look around, you see all these relationships. Somehow most appear as shallow, selfish, possessive, jealous, controlling. But how often do you see a well balanced relationship?

A woman who understands that her man has unresolved skeletons in his closet should make it a point to help him address those issues. If you leave them there and don’t speak about everything, then they can become deadly dangerous. If you can get your man to own these emotional issues, they will give him focus, courage and direction.

In fact, a true conversation can change a man’s life. But in most cases, you have to initiate it and of course you both must be open enough to discuss potentially disturbing and personal issues.

In most cases, it is the woman, with her feminine wisdom that must align her man to his spiritual power. This could be a painful process. Even during sex, it is up to you to let your man free. In his mind and in his body and soul, he should feel free. Don’t try to tame your partner’s sexuality!

If you feel like you want to explore some issues but your partner is not willing to, then it is up to you to see what is worth more. However, you must never emotionally blackmail your partner into doing sexual acts they are not comfortable with.

A true sexual experience is all about FREEDOM…such potent freedom that you lose the sense that you are caged in a fleshy body. All the toxic mores and customs, ideas and traditions your man has picked up, can be unlearned.

A man can be shown the true potency of the sacred feminine. This does not mean you “mother” him. For fuck’s sake, a woman who mothers her man, is not acting from her sacred yoni space. This does not mean that you cannot act motherly towards your man. In fact, you should play all the roles when needed.

Just make sure, you don’t get caught in the vicious mothering cycle. It is thankless and will drain your SACRAL CHAKRA. When a woman’s sacral chakra is in balance, she appears magnetic. Sex here can be a conduit for resolving all his unresolved emotional baggage. You can HEAL him. Even if he is a random encounter.

After sex, you can release all his pain and issues to the Universe as it could harm your energy field. Compress them in a tiny box. Go to the ends of the Earth(in your mind) and bury it. The Earth takes all these vibrations of pain and releases them to the 5D awareness as holographic plants. You should visualise this process and see these holograms bloom! The pain has been released!!!

Mother earth has a wild side by responding and reacting in the moment, in the NOW. Discerning is a moment by moment dynamic play…available through being connected to yourself to discern what is true in the moment. But no matter, even if it a drunken sexcapade, you can make it a spiritual experience.

Intent is all that matters. The intent to heal and love with sex.  How can we go wrong there? If intention can change the molecular structure of water, then what do you think it can do to us? How much water are we? 50% to 65%! Yes we humans are mostly water!

So what have you gleaned from this article? Don’t think about it. There is no understanding it like 2+2=4. It is not so simple you see. The thinker is caught in the thinking feedback loop and she is trying to escape the pain. The thinker does not have all the mysteries of existence. The thinker is like Kafka’s gatekeeper.

“Before the law sits a gatekeeper. To this gatekeeper comes a man from the country who asks to gain entry into the law. But the gatekeeper says that he cannot grant him entry at the moment. The man thinks about it and then asks if he will be allowed to come in later on. ‘It is possible,’ says the gatekeeper, ‘but not now.’”..NOT NOW!!???

The man’s challenge was to try and get past the gatekeeper in order to get to the law. Eventually the man becomes old and dies without ever gaining access to the law. Before the man dies, the gatekeeper tells him that the entrance was made just for the man and since the man is now dying the entrance to the law will also be closed! See how perverse it all is!

Thinking will not allow you to enter this space of sacred sexuality. In this space, everything is love…yes ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!! Love will make us peal off all the layers and create sexual alchemy. From this alchemical process will something magical be born.

With a love that is all encompassing and divine, we can begin to heal and become a society that treats the pussy with respect, symbolising all women are treated too with respect and love.

But what if we did not have sex? Fuck! What then? All I can say is that we would be invulnerable! And what is life without the human vulnerabilities? Where is the ridiculousness of it all? We would definitely not have much in content for our films, soaps and books! And what of all the Buzzfeed relationship gyan? Lots of us would be without work or ambition! Lol!

Sex creates chaos. A chaos that is necessary. As it is from this chaos, that magic happens…

Enough already…Fuck everything else, start loving yourself and your pussy. Touch her, speak with her and become friends. Trust me it works…

More on becoming friends with your pussy…watch this space for the release of my book Pussy Talks and if this topic interests you, contact me, support me, like, share and comment.

Pussy Talks

Orgasmic Mermaid Meditation

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Osho who has been a profound experience in my life once said,”The experience of orgasm itself is always nonsexual. Even though you have achieved it through sex, it itself has no sexuality in it, and my own understanding is that meditation has grown out of the experience of orgasm.”

Yes ORGASMS are as PROFOUND as that!!!  By combining erotic and ascetic techniques, states Brooks, a TANTRIC SCHOLAR, the Tantric broke down all social and internal assumptions, became Shiva-like! Combining our erotic yearnings with meditation, I have created a solid and effective tool and then NLP applications which help improve the experience.

Today I am going to delve into a special MERMAID SPIRIT ACTIVATION/ SEX MEDITATION. With the sexy vibe in the astro of these times, we’re collectively channelling loads of Piscean watery energy. Look at the astro of the eclipse. This was a PREDOMINANTLY WATER SIGN BASED ECLIPSE. We water folks will feel it.

Why should we do sex meditations you ask? SCIENTISTS HAVE PROVEN THAT ORGASM AND MEDITATION PRODUCE THE SAME EFFECT IN THE BRAIN!!! They both can drop this FAKE EGO STRUCTURE we have created. This bullshit nonsensical inner commentary of jargon is dropped and we experience otherworldly sensations.

Do you want to walk the path of self pleasure which will LEAD TO SELF ACCEPTANCE AND IMMENSE AMOUNTS OF SELF LOVE? Then creating sensual and erotic worlds with your imagination powered by your unconscious will help you work through sexual issues and often times abuse. Yes I have seen it.

Stress increases cortisol and adrenaline levels, and these increased levels of cortisol and adrenaline decrease sexual desire and performance.

Any form of meditation is an incredibly powerful stress-reducing tool. Meditation can increase sexual desire and performance by reducing cortisol and adrenaline levels. It releases oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. All feel good chemicals!

Sexual electricity out there! This energy may be making you go all wonky. Frustration could be igniting within if the fires of your sexual appetite have not been fed. Even if you have been having loads of sex, you might be feeling weird, different. Lots of feelings, energies and scenarios that may have never surfaced before, surface now. And they leave you bewildered.

I have been sensing the MERMAID ARCHETYPE invade my consciousness during meditation. Throughout the eclipse portals, mermaids were riding the waves of my consciousness. I just let the visions come.

They began with songs and sounds…the crashing of the waves. An eloquent voice. Shots of mermaids swimming in the deep sea. Their tails swishing by. Mesmerising!

The mermaid archetype represents a woman who is at ease while she swims in the GREAT WATERS OF LIFE. The seas of emotions and sexuality, of feelings and fertility. This archetype reveals to us the complex sexual tapestry of our psyches to us if we can channel her during meditation.

Drawing on her energy can make a woman/man feel sexually active, sensual, desired, intense. You can easily tap into your instinctual sexual centre if you manage to invoke the mermaid energy. Instantly your pussy will feel awakened.

Okay I am saying mermaid and she/her, but this is in no way only for women. Men can also tap into this vibe and channel the mermaid. If you are uncomfortable with gender blurring, then for fuck’s sake become a merman, but don’t leave. Yes you may read the word PUSSY, but so what? You popped out of one!

We contemporary women are faced with so much responsibilities- being a mom, being a wife and then of course our professional lives and then our social lives! Phew! Some of us are victims of chronic fatigue and pain, insomnia, diabetes, pressures issues…we are like walking prescriptions.

All this has led to us being DISCONNECTED to our FEMININITY. This meditation uses NLP applications fused with a rich tapestry of imagination, created by the meditator. This can release creativity and make us feel desirable.

The MERMAID can make us feel sexy although she does not have a visible vagina! Her yoni is in the subtle ether. Her sexuality is not of this world. So this kind of sexual energy can be very gentle and subtle, but can arise heightened sensations.

Our bodies are wise old things. They know everything and the mermaid lets us tap into that wisdom and enhances it by mixing it with the fish! Gene splicing and mixing! No seriously, the fish energy is very etheric and its intimate connection to water symbolises the UNCONSCIOUS, emotions, healing and purification.

The mermaid makes me playful and I cannot stress enough that we have lost the IMPORTANCE OF LEISURE AND PLAY IN OUR LIVES. Such busy beavers are we! We have lost the enjoyment of life why? Because we have given up play. And no play does not mean getting wasted, clubbing all night, retail therapy or any of the things you are thinking of!

Play is a connection to the NOW. THIS MOMENT. The HERE AND RIGHT NOW.

She is half woman and half fish! She lets me explore my WILD SIDE, my untamed animalistic ID. I can easily access that part of my sexuality through the mermaid meditation, but although raw animalistic desires is what I am talking about, there still is a spiritual vibe to all this rawness and sexual urgency.

Maybe to make it clear, she will let you get into that raw desire space, but will bring her human element into the equation. Works? Her human impulses guide you to not give into total depravity!! Hahaha!

Your unconscious and conscious mind are being fused in the seas of sexual desires.

While channelling the mermaid you may want to look at certain things…

  1. Pay attention to subtle messages from your unconscious. Often the MERMAID SPIRIT can help you release ancient sexual pains and wounds. So be very careful as to what symbols enter your unconscious as they will have a story to tell.
  2. Keep a check on what you are feeling and for whom. If certain thoughts arise about someone you are not meant to feel sexual about, then let it come. Don’t judge it or don’t get swept away by it. Let the person come into full focus and just observe.
  3. Your motives for wanting to explore your sexual side will surface. Your motives for living and being will also.
  4. After successful sessions of working with this energy, you should be able to correct water based issues.
  5. You may get motivated to really research what type of water you are drinking.
  6. You may be motivated to get healthy.
  7. You may be able to get pregnant and resolve menstrual issues.
  8. Deeper awareness may seep in- about the whole of fucking existence!
  9. You may awaken the SACRED FEMININE within and you may get closer to the water element.
  10. ABUNDANCE can be created- the FISH is the Christian symbol of Christ’s charity and abundance!

This meditation is a direct invocation. To the GREAT GODDESS. You may choose any WATER GODDESS and look at her as the MERMAID SYMBOL or you may chose any mermaid image that works with you.

THIS IS IDEALLY DONE TO RELEASE SEXUAL TENSIONS. I know meditation and primal sex do not seem a match, but let me assure you they are twinflames!

Find a comfortable spot. Relax in Sabasana. REMEMBER TO BE MINDFUL AND AWARE…works better than any Viagra!

Take a few deep breaths and begin to relax in your body. On the count of three start to bring your awareness to your right toe. Concentrate fully there and then slowly start bringing your awareness upwards till it reaches your vagina.

While bringing this energy up, your body parts begin to feel cool, like water washing over them. And then begin from your right finger and then from your head. Bring all the awareness rushing in through your body to the pussy, begin to visualise that your legs have turned into a tail. Slowly see yourself transform into the mermaid.

Your insides should feel like water. You should feel like water.

You are swimming in the deep, deep sea. Looking to reconnect, to explore, to PLAY.

Slowly as you are swimming in the dark, you see a light. You hear music. Whatever works for you. You check through the plankton and the corals that it is a party.

Now look…who is there in that party. Remember you are watching from afar, but you can sort of see the other mermaids and mermen(;) of course)! Keep breathing and feel the cool water wash over you. But your pussy/cock remains warm.

Slowly float towards the home. What do you feel? Do you feel welcome? Do you think the mer-people will welcome you? Do you feel excited? Nervous?

If you feel excited, go ahead. If you feel nervous, then find the gorgeous shell by your side and take a seat. Breathe. Why do you feel this nervousness? Which is the face you attribute that feeling to as in who the fuck is making you nervous?

If you have a face, then while breathing, keep looking at that face. That face smiles and suddenly you realise that that mermaid/man is sitting right next to you. Offering you your favourite drink!

You take it. If you have TOXIC ISSUES you want to spew at this person, then just close your eyes. See that anger inside of you, like a little red cell. As you stare at the anger, it begins to lose its redness and then becomes tiny before disappearing in the black forever.

You breathe and then open your eyes. The person is still there, but this time everything is different as you open your eyes. That resentment or hurt has disappeared and you smile back. Genuinely you smile back at the person.

You sit together for a brief moment before he/she takes you into the house. Let him/her lead you. Swim slowly to the house. Who do you see? You may see familiar faces that are completely unrelated. You may see your folks also.

The whole room is smiling at you. You smile back. Let all the emotions flood into you. Watch how you feel as you go through the room greeting the mermaids and mermen present.

Take each character in individually first. Group interactions may not be fruitful unless personal one-on-one shit is not solved. What do you feel, think, experience? What colours, sounds, sights appear to you? Just try to connect with the heart chakra.

Each time you meet someone, visualise a BLUE RAY OF LIGHT EMANATING FROM YOUR HEART CHAKRA and GOING INTO THEIRS. Even if the person is angry, they relax as soon as your blue light enters their heart.

Smile, hug, kiss…whatever you need to do, do it and move on…

You are now integrated in the energy and the merfolk are dancing, celebrating and having fun. Positive energy radiates. Now visualise all those group scenes and see what happens. You can get a lot of answers on how to deal with certain people through this meditation.

You swim out to the garden full of shells and conches. You sit absorbing the beauty. What happens? Watch closely for any energy shifts.

You hear a soft swoosh! You know someone is watching you from the back. What do you do? You look back…who is it? It could be a stranger as well. Or the energy may not even have a face. You might just sense the energy. Invite that energy to come close.

Watch closely for what you feel…Now the person is standing in front of you. He reaches out and holds your hands. Your heart is beating. You are feeling so intense. You let that passionate feeling in the groin over power you as he draws you close.

He takes your breasts in his hands and caresses them. Watch for what you feel. Then slowly let the moment your mind has created guide you. Feel every moment, the touch, the kisses, the breathing.

You will see colours with each interaction. The kisses are red. The touches are pink. The bites are purple. You can come up with your own colours, but try to make the experience as audio visual as you can.

The lovemaking will not be the traditional penis in vag types…MERMAIDS remember. Experience this sexual feeling as a SPIRITUAL EXPRESSION OF THE SELF. You are twirling with your lover, in deep embrace.

Watch how you both pleasure each other. Observe all the tiny, minute details. As you both are in embrace, visualise your KUNDALINI, a serpent coiled at the base of the spine, rises up slowly.

Feel this KUNDALINI SHAKTI climb through your spine and his/hers too. It crosses all your chakras and goes out to the cosmos through your crown chakra. This happens to you both.

So much energy is being created while you join in union and twirl in the sea. YOU BOTH ARE BEING WASHED IN COSMIC LOVE WHAT JOY!! You both become a ball of light slowly.

You can see the merging of the two bodies and then they fuse into etheric bodies of light till the ball remains. You take that ball and slowly insert it in your vagina.

As you do it, feel the warmth enter you slowly…let the process happen…just let your UNCONSCIOUS GUIDE YOU.

You now touch your pussy. It is full of warmth and light. You softly caress it and say thank you. You can end the meditation by bringing yourself to climax after you touch yourself deeply and intimately.

Stay with yourself for a while after this meditation and drift off to sleep if possible to dreamy music.

If you keep creating such magical worlds of sexual intimacy, then the day you really get to make love to your dream lover, what will happen? You will be so VERY PRESENT IN THAT MOMENT. No distractions will waver your mind. You have lived through the experience and can really relive it in 3d reality.

Read the article in The Huffington Post, “Why Meditation and Orgasm Feel the Same to the Brain,” which confirms from the world of science the connection or similarity between sexual orgasm and meditation. Imagine what a diabolical mixture if you can integrate them both in a practise to enhance your spiritual self.

The main point is that ORGASM is not a end to itself, it is only the beginning, it is only a means through which you who research, embrace and understand the subject correctly can reach the final goal – the “super consciousness.”!!!

“In deep meditation, a sexual orgasm happens – not with someone outside you, but with your own polar opposite within. You meet there: your woman and your man meet. The meeting is spiritual, not bodily.” – Osho

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes on Channelling Ishtar

I am writing to you the experience of channelling Ishtar. I had gone through so much of channelled writing and am in the habit of writing without thought. Just lines and words that come to me. Floating by. Visualising Ishtar/Innana.

Track  comes to mind- Isis, Ishtar, Diana, Hecate.

Lunar Goddesses. Moon. Fecundity. Womanhood. Menstruation.

Ishtar’s energy is in those words…how did Ishtar learn? Pain, sufferring, stripping away of possessions. Things being taken away. Red. Red. Red. The colour is very prominent as I think of the Goddess. Blood….I see blood everywhere in my mind’s eye.

Is it because she was the Goddess of war? She was the goddess of love too. Thinking of her at war on her lion. Parallel- Durga. Mahishashura? Ishtar defied patriarchy.

Love and sex. I concentrate on the cosmic yoni. My yoni as a symbol of that divine energy. Warmth. A connection. When I enter meditation now, the third eye is vibrating. I will get off the comp for a bit. BRB.

The meditative state lasted for about seven minutes. However, my consciousness was somewhat suspended. In fact I have no memory of how time went. I am now staring at the keyboard and thinking of how to get the messages across. Sometimes in states of meditation I have entered realms.

Armed with a diary, I have traversed many psychic realms and seen entities. Spoken to them through thought meditation. I have met my grandparents and some other ancestors as well. More than ever those abilities returned to me with childbirth.

Never having made sense of my visions, voices, colours and sounds, I kept them hidden away as I went about trying to get life going. They often became disfigured ghosts of my consciousness. I repressed them further till they became a tsunami and crashed my consciousness. Restart.

They returned with childbirth and I have embraced them. I have finally claimed them as my demons and I am making friends with them. Since I got pregnant, I’ve been keeping journals. Handwritten notes. Doodles. Anything that comes to me from the higher realms.

I’ve been practising channelling Kwan Yin as well.

So as I try to type unconsciously, no words are coming to me except a kinda white fuzzy field where I can drift off in meditation. I will not give up. I know her energy is accessible in that fuzzy ball in my mind. Ishtar/Innana I invoke you…awaken through me…

Chaos and fertility- I can sense these two central polarities heavily.

War and love. But is war only chaos? Is life not chaos? Is the quantum reality not chaos?

Look at the DOUBLE SLIT EXPERIMENT. The wave particle duality….THE OBSERVER! Everything is energy right? My thought forms too. Tulpas they are called. ALEXANDRA DAVID NEEL did a whole lot of experimentation with the TULPAS.

A tulpa, according to traditional Tibetan doctrines, is an entity created by an act of imagination, rather like the fictional characters of a novelist, except that tulpas are not written down. David-Neel became so interested in the concept that she decided to try to create one. Her experiment went AWOL as her tulpa began to manifest without her summoning him. OMG!!! Yes all those horror stories your mind can conjure, they all can come true.

Like all those INTERNET MONSTERS. Like the SLENDER MAN are all TULPAS created by writers. I can tell you this is true because I have lived day and night with the characters I have created for my novels, screenplays, plays, short stories. They have all come alive.

So now I, the observer creates ISHTAR, the tulpa. All fine and dandy. But I cannot create a tulpa in a day, so I have to intuitively sense her energies and keep typing. THINK WITHOUT THINKING…Yes that’s my new mojo.

Somehow I feel that her journey to the netherworld is where I have to look to find my answers. I have to seek out what lies in the murky depths of my UNCONSCIOUS. Could that be the reason I am looking at ISHTAR so deeply?4585746524_328x443

 

 

 

INTRODUCTION ON CHANNELLING ISHTAR

Bigger than the mountains am I,

The Empress of the gods am I

The Queen of heaven am I

The earth’s mistress am I.

(translation of an old Babylonian text)

This is a special channelling session for I am summoning Ishtar as I do my Ishta Devi. I am integrating Ishtar’s energy into the Dasamahavidya. Kali, Tara, Shodoshi, Bhubaneshwari, Bhairavi, Chinnamasta, Dhumavati, Balaga, Matangi, Kamala, the ten energies of the Mulaprakriti.

The solitary ray dropping into the mother deep may be taken as meaning Divine Thought or Intelligence, impregnating chaos. This, however, occurs on the plane of metaphysical abstraction, or rather the plane whereon that which we call a metaphysical abstraction is a reality. The Virgin-egg being in one sense abstract Egg-ness, or the power of becoming developed through fecundation, is eternal and for ever the same. And just as the fecundation of an egg takes place before it is dropped; so the non-eternal periodical germ which becomes later in symbolism the mundane egg, contains in itself, when it emerges from the said symbol, “the promise and potency” of all the Universe. Though the idea per se is, of course, an abstraction, a symbolical mode of expression, it is a symbol truly, as it suggests the idea of infinity as an endless circle. It brings before the mind’s eye the picture of Kosmos emerging from and in boundless space, a Universe as shoreless in magnitude if not as endless in its objective manifestation…HPB

The Cosmic Yoni is the concretisation of these Mahavidyas. My tantric diksha took place a few years ago as I was given my mantras by my tantric guru. Great man who helped shape my spiritual journey along with a few other SPIRITUAL GUIDES I have like MAHAVATAR BABAJI and the sages of GYANGANJ.

I am calling upon Ishtar, today through the Kali yantra. I have solar motifs. Crystals, incense and the works.

Let me begin by telling you about my attraction to Ishtar. The books of Zachariah Sitchin popped into my hands before I hit my teens. Those theories fascinated me and got me looking into most of the truther stuff of the later years. Ishtar was introduced to me.

My tireless, never-ending research began…and as I delved more into her, I felt like I was being pulled into whirlpool of energy. Something familiar. Something known and loved. Her affiliation to the animal kingdom and her being who she is and what she stands for makes me want to know her. The wisdom in her COSMIC YONI!! And I totally believed Ishtar/Innana to be one of the aliens who created and ruled over humanity.

Okay I was troubled about the fact that we humans needed to be ruled over and that they created hybrids who would be the masters of the human populace, the veil was lifted and I smelled colonialism and its toxicity all over again. But that did not keep me from Ishtar. In fact my interest in her got deeper.

By the time I was completing my college, I had written a play on Ishtar with mixed media. I was thinking AR/VR prototypes then! Funny how the cosmic MIND imprints you with ideas, thoughts, suggestions…

This play was called THE JOURNEY OF ISHTAR and it charted her descent into the Netherworld. Her journey through the netherworld became an allegory for my life. I began to see patterns unfold. Of the same pain and shame Ishtar went through. Her nakedness became a metaphor for the ABSTRACT DARK SPACE or ULTIMATE REALITY I was calling out to Ishtar, the light bringer. The fact that her reign was not characterised by that of a consort attracted me. DUMUZI, her man literally lost his life and penis after she fixed with death’s gaze…hahahaha! What’s with men and their cocks?4585746524_328x443

All through HIS-STORY we see women little more than objects or trophies. But it is her and her kin like Hatshepsut, Cleopatra that we have seen the Queen portrayed as something more than just a mannequin.

Yet while I watch the show CROWN on Netflix, I cannot help by see how Elizabeth has always been a puppet. Yes they do try to show her coming up against the system as a feminine role model, yet, I do not see her as such a role model. In fact, she appears as an ENABLER OF PATRIARCHY. So not much to talk about there.

My Lady abandoned heaven and earth to descend to the underworld.
Inanna abandoned heaven and earth to descend to the underworld.
She abandoned her office of holy priestess to descend to the underworld….

This is what her slave writes about Ishtar and this descent to the UNDERWORLD has been a sort of lingering trope in my life. Saturn in the Eighth house. Yes a macabre obsession with DEATH  and REBIRTH. Complete bad-ass Pluto energy which makes me go to the proverbial UNDERWORLD repeatedly to seek myself.

This obsessive fantasy about facing death head on and surviving is a very Plutonian energy that I challenge and of course Saturn beaming my EIGHTH.

Anyway, Ishtar/Innana took me through this psychological journey of archetypes many times. Through the play, through channelled poetry, through meditation…I have invoked Innana.

Today I call upon Ishtar through the Kali Yantra. Is that possible?

I know of her animal shamanism. She channelled animal spirits. Protected the animal world. She also shows us the power they have. Yes this stuff is dangerous, but hey what is not “dangerous”? We have to investigate to get at the crux of the matter.

I know Ishtar’s energies are active in me. My love of animals, facing death and devastation during my tenure as an animal activist with AWA. I still work with street animals. Regularly visit shelters and sanctuaries. And of course I have my own family of rescues.

The Lion! I am a Leo Sun and Ascendant. Vedic Kundli says my Lagna is Simha or LION! And I have four planets in Leo! Including my Mercury. So there all that fifth house related stuff gets a full energetic makeover. Ishtar is associated with SHAMASH, the SOLAR GOD. The Sun is the ruler of LEO!

I am not much of a ritualist. I perform a lot of rituals mentally, like my Shiva Puja and a few homas. Yes I do mental homas. Manas puja. You can try it too. Watch a homa on Youtube. For me its very easy as my Guru in Calcutta does Dasamahavidya homas, Mahamrityunjaya homas, kala sarpa dasa homas in our ashram.

Being blessed, I have performed several important homas there like Chinnamasta, Dhumavati and Kalabhairav and Bagala homa. So I have them in my mind, the whole scene, the mantras, the collective chanting it, the warmth from the flames coming alive by my Guru pouring sacred ghee in it, the smell of incense, the bhakti of the hundreds gathered. It is mystical. The faith. The belief. All of it. And then on all that my Guru’s voice reciting the mantra….I have all of it, in my mind. It’s there stored away in my MIND PALACE.

Ready to be accessed and used anytime. So you find your ideal homa and you can do it too. Manas puja is very sacred. In fact our progenitors created MANAS PUTRAS or the MIND BORN.

In the Mandukya (Mundaka) Upanishad it is written, “As a spider throws out and retracts its web, as herbs spring up in the ground . . . so is the Universe derived from the undecaying one” (I. 1. 7). Brahma, as “the germ of unknown Darkness,” is the material from which all evolves and develops “as the web from the spider, as foam from the water,” etc. This is only graphic and true, if Brahma the “Creator” is, as a term, derived from the root brih, to increase or expand. Brahma “expands” and becomes the Universe woven out of his own substance. The Pitris are lunar deities and our ancestors, because they created the physical man…HPB

So literally Brahma made himself from himself, or his mind, because everything is spiritual and has no dense body. Thoughts create you. So never underestimate the power of your MIND- conscious and more so, the UNCONSCIOUS for therein lies the greatest mysteries.

For Ishtar, I have kept her image, you know the full length shot doing the rounds on the internet. I have kept the Kali yantra in front and am concentrating on it. After meditating on Ishtar and her life, I shall start writing…just channelling her energy. No editing. Oh of course there is LAPIZ LAZULI that I have placed inside the yantra. It is Ishtar’s favourite.

Then, after three days and three nights, Inanna had not returned,
Ninshubur set up a lament for her by the ruins.
She beat the drum for her in the assembly places.

Neither Enlil nor Inanna’s father Nannar, the Moon God of Ur, will help her because she has craved the below, and because those who choose the underworld do not return. Ninshubur succeeds in getting Enki to secure her release:

The story of Ushtar was inscribed on clay tablets at around 1750 BCE and what do we see?

Nothing changes. Patriarchy was as disinterested as it is today. As oppressive and  couldn’t-give-a-fuck as today. Lovely! Nothing changes.

But Ishtar still decides to go there…wonder what her chart looked like? Also the whole stripping away of her clothing and jewellery are signs that she is having to give up power and control. Allegorically it could mean she is shedding veils of ignorance and getting closer to wisdom. Nakedness signifies DEEP WISDOM and is used very much with regards to the feminine. Even the Dakinis, the naked sky dancers exhibit the feminine WISDOM. Like Kali who symbolises just that. Stripping away of all ignorance and falsities.

I love doing rituals for Kali, such intensity in her depths. Ishtar/Innana is ready to shed all her power. For what? I feel like her in so many ways. Ishtar’s journey is all about exploration and acceptance. She stares at the skeletons in her cupboard. She harmonises them and is triumphant! What a woman! I meant she is a woman like us all right? And we?? A goddess too…WE ARE ALL GODDESSES and that is a lesson.

There is very important documentation referring to the description of the constellation VIRGO, which has its origin in the ancient Assyrian-Babylonian culture. This constellation has always been female and has been especially associated with the tension between fertility and beauty. The BABYLONIANS associated this constellation with the goddess Ishtar, also well-known under the name of Ashtoreth or Astarte…This bit is just magic to my ears. MY VENUS IS IN VIRGO. So your Venus placement is important to check out. Sublime!

Ishtar is the Goddess of sex too. Now having Saturn in the Eight is quite an intense lesson. To be learnt in the arena of sex, death, rebirth, shared resources. Can sex and Saturn be even spoken of in the same sentence? Well, ask us…the SATURN IN THE 8TH people. We are a special breed.

Through us a lot of sexual information will be passed to the collective. The eighth house is one of such hardcore lessons- how do you share resources? Who are you in the deepest dark? What are your fears, anxieties, worries? Lastly how do you deal with them. Saturn teaches you…he is a strict task master. In India we say SHAM SHANISHCHARAYA NAMAHA to appease Saturn. You can try it too. And wear black, eat black rice. You can get in touch for more details as it is imperative to know where Shani is positioned in your chart.

Back to the scary EIGHTH HOUSE stuff- this is not some wishy-washy, light and frivolous house. These energies are intense. Now let Saturn decide to be there when you were born, then stuff gets really heavy and deep- murky, briny…but Saturn wants you to know how to swim out of that quagmire of your psyche full of fears, repression and anxiety. Somehow Saturn in the eight usually means that ideas that sex is dirty can be passed down from elders. This is your battle AND YOUR metamorphosis. You have to prove to yourself that SEX IS NOT UNHEALTHY.

We take INTIMACY seriously, like ISHTAR did and I see nothing wrong with that. I am on the quest of TRANSFORMING(SCORPIO) my FEARS(SATURN- LOW VIBRATION). This house is the gateway to my deepest psychological secrets and like Ishtar I am on a journey to understand the archetypes, tropes and imagery of the deep UNCONSCIOUS.

In fact this is why Tarot, Astrology and other divination modalities are so helping to me. They help me explore the PSYCHE. I love it. And having an occult leaning, I see how as above so below and nothing is real. A HOLOGRAM. That’s what this is…a 3D Hologram.

Where are we? We are a part of that UNIVERSAL BRAIN…all of us, including ISHTAR.

Did you know that all sexual activities ceased when Innana entered the NETHERWORLD. ALL SEX STOPPED!!! There is so much importance given to describing her body that it obviously points to her enjoying her femininity and sexuality.

She put the whole gender thing into flux. See she was supposed to attract Tammuz/DUMUZI like any other Goddess, via sexy clothing, jewellery, makeup, flirtation and a whole lot of other shit. But what does she do? Returning from the underworld, accompanied by demons who must have a mortal in compensation, she fixes the eye of death on her absent-minded partner who is engrossed in affairs of state, and he is chased by the demons of hell, losing his possessions, his genitals and his life. There you have it!

This losing his genitalia is symbolic of his manhood. Did Ishtar take away his manhood by being a full blown woman? Is it true that when a WOMAN/SACRED FEMININE finds her true power, no man can subdue her. In the world of patriarchy that means a man has lost his manhood. There is no BALANCE you see. IN PATRIARCHY THERE IS NO EQUALITY!

Innana challenged that concept and I think that is super cool. And of course, she is the GODDESS OF HEALING….So she is an archetypal energy I seek to invoke. She never minced her words. Surely not a diplomat. We see this when she speaks to the Gatekeeper of the Netherworld. She is deciding to go where no one is permitted, yet, she speaks with so much authority. I mean that could be misconstrued as a bad thing, but it may not be so.

Patriarchy has oppressed us women for so long, that some of us have become inherently REBELLIOUS. Turning Camus on his head- if patriarchy is ABSURD, then how do we react to it? With rebellion of course. Now more than even we need to collect all the broken female hearts and make them into ART.

Which of your lovers have you loved forever? Which of your Little Shepherds has continued to please you? Come, let me name your lovers for you! … (col. 2:) … for TAMMUZ, the lover of your youth. Year after year you set up a wailing for him. You loved the mauve-colored `shepherd bird’: but you seized him and broke his wing …. So you would love me in my turn, and, as with them, set my fate….” This is from the epic of Gilgamesh. Here we see how Gilgamesh is actually afraid of Ishtar’s advances for he FEARS THE INTENSITY OF HER LOVE. He is worried that ISHTAR will emasculate him and erase his name from History.

This trope is also common in the patriarchal discourse…a woman’s love! DANGEROUS. FICKLE. “Young men’s love then lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.”  This quote by Shakespeare elucidates the MALE GAZE perfectly well. Has it changed? Men will love with their eyes. So girls look good. It’s not in their hearts. Men are of course heartless jerks(sarcasm, I know the EVOLVED MAN archetype very well).

Maya Angelou rings true to my mind…A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim. Will be bringing to you channelled writings…later on in the day if possible…

 

Tarot, Trance and Time travel

radiance.gifThe Devil card- time for revaluation…

The watchful retrograde Mercury,

I am chained to this loop with no soulful imagination,

A loop of my bondage to the material world,

Makeup, mushrooms, meditational orgasms.

 

A spring-night, full-moon-madness and rituals  of fertility,

Dreams of life vivid and complicated,

The dualities merged in an amniotic tranquillity,

The thirst is eternity wrapped in a bubble,

Awakened to a mind-palace eerie, screeches of hostility.

 

Sights and sound blend into dimensional warps,

The Moon up above is as shiny as the silvery moon inside,

A completion, my own womb in unity with the Universal spark.

Like the Ouroboros emblematic of the unconscious.

Alive, alive, alive!

 

The gnawing sense of loss, the saga of separation,

From  you my Time Traveller!

There is a song that keeps playing inside of my imagination,

Have you heard that frequency in 4D?

You made this track, I remember…you’re no amateur.

 

There are infinite vortices in frequencies we cannot access,

But in my right eye,

There is a time machine.

To ferry us to oblivion to confess and invest..

In the need of one another, joined in yabyum.

 

For what need is there my TRAVELLER..

For this separation…

The inevitability of the dew of my soul drying up with the harsh Sun of reality…

Seems to me that you’re sucking me through this sound…

Into a parallel Tree(of life).

 

Like the Emperor you sit.

Were you not the Fool?

Beginning your journey new.

A whole new vista, waiting to get drunk with newness.

From the ambrosial vulva of creation.

 

Were you not Death?

You time jumped into the pupils of my eyes.

The perpetual movement of cycles of breath.

Eternally waiting for the final Metomorphosis.

So much angst, so much suffering for greater clarity and depth.

 

Were you not the Temperance, Strength and the Hanged Man?

There was a point in time when it all began.

A time of loops and time warps.

A tantalising bizarre parody.

Of fake moral fortitude, repeating incessantly, in a loop- YES I CAN.

 

In my mind there is only one tune that plays…

Creepy…it takes me to a place of fear…

A willing choice to push every sound away.

My heartbeat is intense in its rapidity,

It’s unsettling…this whoosh, whoosh.

 

The poignancy of The Star reversed.

This wistful feeling of familiarity with this frequency,

Of the track you are playing in my mind, cursed and pierced.

Or are you stealing the tune away in lunacy?

Are we time travellers caught in a loop of sound?

 

On this dimension to learn soul lessons?

Do we even exist outside of our heads?

I see you standing  on the white shores of nowhere…it beckons…

The endless bustling sea, grey, dark and almost menacing.

Are you listening to my thoughts?

 

For you are aware of the sound of my soul.

My mind talk, the intricacy of my mindpalace where I store a million memories…

The bitter sweetness of this fragmented whole.

A life never lived.

A space never shared.

 

The ambiguity of it all…the nothingness, the absurdism of this madness and mayhem…

My TIME TRAVELLER, there is no return for you or me,

Back to the loop, back to the grind.

The Chariot will take us there and mix dreams with nightmares.

Mythical, mastery of conflicted issues…our journey into the netherworld of Innana.

Ishtar journeys through the darkest reaches of the underworld to bring her brand of love and warfare.

 

The Sun is on the horizon,

The child smiles at me, a smile of promises brightened.

A smile to break the loop with innocence.

Invasive is this life, cruel and like the Hermit I retreat.

I was that child not so long ago.

 

Where did I lose those days, moments, seconds and silences?

TIME TRAVELLER, I know you exist.

Why do you not reveal yourself in this 3D reality?

You can slip back into your black hole anytime you want.

You know how to close this leaking time drift.

 

The Ace of Cups…a new beginning…in life..

A renewal of emotions, a complete PURGE.

I wear vulnerability like makeup,

I open my whole self to your magic TIME TRAVELLER.

For once I awaken and take charge.

 

I know you come to meet me through the music.

I know of the loops now and of the portals.

Of the silent sound you put in my head.

My hypothesis…it is the only faint memory my unconscious knows.

Will I ever cross these insurmountable hurdles?

Like the Page of Wands, enthusiastic Time Loop Ventures.

A thousand shards of cosmic glass splatters in my heart,

It’s the Three of Swords- the SEPARATION and the misadventure.

Traveller melt away this 3D dense reality.

DELETE and let us move into 5D awareness…

 

This sound of the bass and the interdimensional warp.

I hunt for the Four of Wands…the final atonement.

The shadow caught in the quagmire.

All these moments are fleeting and cannot be caught and photographed either.

They are like the dual slit experiment.

 

Will this life be a wave or a particle?

Every season, every sunrise, every bird song, every new moon…

You cannot box them or can you Traveller?

Do you have technology to freeze the moment and take a 3D print?

4D print of the temporary nothingness of a moment.

 

I can hear my own heartbeat in your song.

Was it yours to begin with?

Or did you steal it somewhere on the way?

Traveller I do not remember who you are.

You’re just a face I see around.

 

The face distorts into a thousand faces,

Sometimes it screams like a ghoulish nightmare.

There is a certain frustration to this process.

How do I tell the faces apart?

How do I remember your face Traveller?

 

The Lovers pop up. In naked embrace.

I want you Traveller now more than ever.

Seems like I’ve been listening to your whispers for eternity.

The Dark surrounds us, the cosmic warp of all dimensions.

Merging and melting, dying and being reborn.

 

Every single cell of the body,

To the hugest quasars in space.

The Tower is the only vague memory I have.

And that pitch, that sound, that frequency.

Is this dream coming to an end?

 

Is the final wakeup call here?

That melancholic synchronicity, that tune ringing in the background.

That song is your Traveller.

That joy is you.

But, but, but…there is always a choice involved.

 

The Magician is you with control over time and space.

You use your tools of higher intuitive forces.

You create MAGIC Traveller.

In my waking life, there is no YOU Traveller.

You are the Great Void.

 

I am your High Priestess, my Magician.

I am the alaya of your soul…

I waited for eternity with all these words.

To lay them out before you, like a perfect spread.

All signifying the signifier and meaning is lost forever.

 

Five of Wands energy controls this loop.

The sickening competitive spirit alive and kicking in all areas of the human condition.

Trees, birds, animals, humans, bloody and gory- slain.

Blood and guts, hacked limbs, bones and cartilage, dismembered animals on plates of devastation.

Are you standing still at my pain?

 

The Eight of Swords- tension, turbulence, terrorism.

But change is in my hands Traveller.

Yet I refuse it. I renounce it. I ridicule it.

The polarities in me divergent- what of this schism?

 

The Judgement. Maat weighing my soul against her feather of truth.

Will I survive Traveller? Or meld away into darkness?

Will I be able to cross the bridge into the 5D reality?

The secrets are there…in MSS, in that sound you created.

Like Shiva who brought forth AUM into existence.

 

You are a Shiva of my own creation Traveller.

The days tick by and life drags on.

You don’t exist in my world. You never did.

For you exist in my mind and my heart.

My yang waiting to be coalesce into your yin.