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“You can only meet someone as deeply as you have met yourself”
This is the very truth. No matter how much you crave your twinflame/soulmate you will meet them(if you do in 3d) with the same depth that you have met your very own soul. The twinflame journey starts with touching base with your soul.
I told you a strange story of a twinflame experience in my viral article(click link above) and now I want to give you an update…below you can read parts of the letter the woman experiencing this twinflame connection writes…
It has been almost a year since I deleted and blocked him on social media. And till date, not a word from him…I had decided that he is a coward and will never speak up, so I did my best to immerse myself in life and continue to exist without thinking of him. Which was inevitably impossible. His face and name kept swimming up in my consciousness. Why? Why the fuck am I so into this one person? Someone I have never met? Someone’s voice I have not heard? And I mean, he is not like some Adonis. But then why? Why him? Why can I not forget his existence? It irked me endlessly, until I had the PLR and hypnosis session with you.
That session took me back to timelines…places and situations I cannot even imagine. Through the great wars of antiquity, through the fertile plains of Sumeria/Mesopotamia and Egypt. I saw us together through numerous timelines. It was not easy to express. You know exactly how long I wept after I came back…
But then lucid dreams started to come rapidly. They arrived randomly and I woke up with him in bed. Our children were playing outside. I even know their names. I spend time with him in our home and all we did was make love and I heard him tell me that I was everything for him. He said he missed me, tremendously when I was out, travelling for work.
I couldn’t stop wondering if I had arrived here, then who was at home with my husband and child? What happened to my body staring at the computer, in lucid dreams?
I dared not reveal anything to spoil that day and what can I say, he took me all over his city and we had the best day ever. I went to sleep with him and I was worried that I might never see him again. But I did not wake up back in my reality, I still remained in his world. In some alternate universe.
There he was making breakfast and my kids walked in. I cannot forget their faces. They looked so familiar. But I knew I had never seen them before. Then as left to take them to playschool, I passed out watching a program on TV in his language. And strangely, I knew the language. Then I blacked out and I found myself in front of my computer. My body soaked in sweat, my computer had crashed. Someone was ringing my doorbell frantically. I ran to open the door, my legs could barely carry me and saw my husband had come home. He just returned from tennis practice with my baby. I was so shocked and it probably showed on my face. My husband stared at me, long and hard, while I could not find a single word to say. It’s like I had forgotten English. His language and his voice kept intruding my thoughts and I was sure as hell that I was going crazy. He came towards me and checked my temperature which was soaring. He took me straight to bed and forbade any movement while he called the doctor.
The next seven days were a haze. I know I had high temperature and my body was not keeping food down. I was sick, I felt sick. Like I was dying. But then suddenly, I woke up in the alternate Universe. And this time, I was in front of him and he was sick. I sat by his bedside, weeping gently. That night I met his mother. His father was dead. I knew all this information about him and I did not know why and how. His mother was such a wonderful woman and we really bonded. Surprisingly, she noticed a difference and she told me that her son was really lucky to have me. Because no one can love him like me. I think I started howling. We spend sometime cradled in each other’s arms.
He was ill, high temperature and the doctors thought it was some kind of infection. But they did not know for sure. He lay in bed, in front of me. Murmuring in his sleep and I remembered my own sick body back home, in my own universe. Suddenly he opens his eyes and looks at me and tells me that no matter what, I must find him. I was shocked, he’d say that. I asked him what he meant and he said that if he dies, I have to find him. He did not mention other timelines or alternate universes.
It was time to tell him…Listen _, I am not from your Universe. I have no clue how I turned up here. He didn’t look as surprised as I thought he would. He coughed and motioned for me to continue. I told him that in my universe, we have never met. I mean we did, only once or twice. Very briefly and we never spoke. But I could not forget his energy. His soul energy, all these years. I told him how I found him on socialmedia and how I added him and then deleted him. I told him that I’m not even sure, he knows me in this reality. But then maybe he was not sensitive.
But this man in front of me, he was so very sensitive. He was exactly the man I thought he would be. He looked disturbed at the idea of us never knowing each other in my universe and he said he must have been a real idiot to let me go. In my reality that is. In his reality, he met me in the exact same place. The situation was pretty much identical. Except one detail. We had bumped into each other at the bar and in his reality, he started a conversation with me and within the next six months we were together. In his country. And then we were married soon after. In fact, in his world, it had been over twenty years we were together.
Listening to him talk, it was clear why I could not forget his face. Why I kept remembering him in my reality, although I did not know him. But obviously, this him, in his reality is indeed my soulmate or maybe my twinflame. And we have made a life together. But he did say, that from a few years, he was having marital problems with his version of me. It looks like they are drifting apart. This surprised me as that is exactly when I had found him on social media in my universe.
Spending time with him that night, watching him sick and feeling his sickness, like an empath, I shifted between hope and despair. This emotional chaos is raising only more questions and there are never any answers…I am glad I told him about my confusion, about how I coped all those years without him and how I felt lost and helpless every time I saw him on social media. There is so much to tell him, but no words…
When I held him and kissed him, I understood what you told me. That the twinflame experience is not always about being together and creating a life. It is about so much more. It is a subtle connection, like quantum entanglement that cannot be explained by punitive human language. This is true psychic connection and it saddens me that only I feel it. Not him.
Watching us both together, as the observer this time, I felt the most indescribable and amazing feeling. A feeling of unconditional love and deep fulfillment. And we did not even have any sexual experience. We just slept together, in each other’s arms. He knew it could be the last night we have together and it was painfully making itself aware in my psyche. This is it, this is why I crave to be with him in my reality, without even knowing him. It is because of this life we have and have had through time. But, but….that life is falling apart in his universe and in mine, we have never met. I spend time going through the pictures of our life together and they remain embedded in my mind forever.
Returning back to my universe was ugly. My body felt like I was about to die. I could not take the fever burning my soul…and there was emptiness and pain, physical, mental and spiritual. It felt like my heart has been ripped off. Death is better than this pain. I felt so ashamed at the love my husband had for me. I was his great love story and here I am, chasing after a ghost. Guilt, shame and hopelessness were my companions till I gradually got my health back. And my sanity or so I think.
I made a conscious effort to erase him from my soul. It was difficult, but not really because I never had any connection with him. In 3d. We never touched or kissed or anything. Forget about his universe. I still remember the names of our children and hope that he made peace with his wife. Me, in his reality. But sometimes, his words ring out…So what if I have forgotten…you find me…drop me a message.
I scoffed at him then…like are you serious? You are fucking married and you don’t even know me. He scoffed back and told me that its not possible, he does not know me. After I added him and then deleted him. He said that he knew himself and he surely would be excited to see my posts. I told him that I knew nothing about anything about him and he held my hand, touched it to his heart and told me…everything is here, all my love for you…right here. This heart beats for you…
I remember laughing at him. But I made it clear that I am not ever getting in touch. Like never. But my friend, the one who was there with me when I met him in Goa, suddenly added him. Yes she knows about these PLR sessions and she is convinced that he was interested in me back then. In that bar and in the party afterwards, he was looking at me. I was initially mad at her for adding him. Like wtf. Why? But she wouldn’t listen. And she says she will talk to him one day about me. I told her if that happens, I am blocking her. But her wicked smile tells me she might tell him. She also says that from the time I deleted him, he’s hardly posted. Like nothing about anything. Like he has gone silent. I told her to stay away from his profile. And she told, try to stop me bitch…
I have no intention of telling him…I know this can only be felt and if he felt anything, he would get in touch. The other day, randomly, a facebook friend of mine tells me that she saw me marrying a white guy. And she has no idea about this man or anything. So that shocks me. These twinflame energies are being picked up by so many close to me.
Well, in his universe, he is definitely not a coward, so his silence in this one can only mean one thing…he is not sensitive to the energy flow. I do hope to share this post Tina after you publish it, maybe he is secretly following me through a different account. Maybe reading this will jog his memory. That is all I can expect.
That is all Tina…thank you studying my case…
Your story excites me like none other, because here we have a story of twinflames who have never met. One looks to be awakened and the other asleep. Or maybe not. During my meditations, I have felt that man’s feelings for you and even the tarot told you what you needed to know. This is a connection of numerous past lives. One you cannot ignore.
My work with twinflames is so important…why?
It’s because the earth needs these powerful bursts of twinflame love at this time. As more twinflames awaken and recognize their work in 3d, the better they will be able to contribute to the coming of the next race. Race is not about color or anything. This is the next level of humanity. Humanity 6.0. Yes you heard that right.
_ I believe every single word you say, you know why? Because twinflame energies are not to be understood logically. You cannot look at it with the analytical thought processes. It goes beyond…one needs to experience this kind of pull. This magnetic pull towards one person that defies logic and practical wisdom. This energy is tthat of Shiva/Shakti, it is of Padma Sambhava and Yeshe Tsogyal, it is of Yesua and Mary Magdalene. It is eternal. It is the interplay between the divine feminine and masculine polarities. It is all a play. It is all a simulation. And not…it is nothing and everything.
We need to accept this fact that the mind level cannot grasp this soul connection. Basically this experience is like nothing you have ever felt before or will again. If you do feel this again, then you have to reevaluate what you felt the first time. If it keeps happening to someone, then they have surely not met their twinflame.
Your story is believable, because after all these years you have felt this for a man you have never met. This case is rather exceptional in my opinion and you have managed to collapse timelines and you have made contact with your twin. And hope you do so again.
So what do you think? Is this possible? Were her visits just hallucinations? Or some coping mechanism? Do you have such a story…tell me…
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Listen, O Devi, I will speak concisely of the essence of yoga. The body resembles a tree, with the root above and the branches below. In the macrocosm there are tirthas (bathing places) which also exist in the body. The macrocosm is like the microcosm. – Todala Tantra, II
What do you think these words stand for? Do they incite fear or abhorrence in you? If they do, then you’re seriously misguided AF!
They are pagan based ideologies that try to grasp the interplay of the divine masculine and divine feminine energies that are at the crux of creation.
Whether you call them Shiva/Shakti or by any other name, it does not matter. Whenever you try to understand how this binary plays out, you are in fact a witch or a tantrika. And every treatise that tries to explain this “game” or lila as is called in Sanskrit is known as Tantra.
You might have heard of the FOUR VEDAS that were given to humanity by Brahma, the Godhead who created this Universe. Brahma has four faces and each of the Vedas, Rig, Sama, Yagur, Atharva are said to have emanated from each of those four faces.
Brahma is a part of the holy trinity of Sanatan Dharma, the other two “Gods” being Vishnu and Shiva. The word Brahma comes from the root BRH which means “to expand, grow, fructify”. It is said Brahma expands, much like the EXPANDING UNIVERSE because this very universe is woven out of his own substance.
What do you think is the meaning of Brahma? If you study Western occultism, then you might know of the MANIFESTED LOGOS. This LOGOS is the whole Universe.
In Christology, the Logos (Greek: Λόγος, lit. ”Word”, “Discourse”, or “Reason”) is a name or title of Jesus Christ, seen as the pre-existent second person of the Trinity. The concept derives from John 1:1, which in the Douay–Rheims, King James, New International, and other versions of the Bible, reads: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…~~Wiki
Interestingly, in Sanskrit, we say VAKYA BRAHMA. That translates to, the WORD is GOD. Do you see how this is panning out?
Brahma — the symbol of the Universe. In esoteric parlance, Brahma is Father-Mother-Son, or Spirit, Soul and Body at once; each personage being symbolical of an attribute, and each attribute or quality being a graduated efflux of Divine Breath in its cyclic differentiation, involutionary and evolutionary. In the cosmicophysical sense, it is the Universe, the planetary chain and the earth; in the purely spiritual, the Unknown Deity, Planetary Spirit, and Man — the Son of the two, the creature of Spirit and Matter, and a manifestation of them in his periodical appearances on Earth during the “wheels,” or the Manvantaras. ~~HPB
So Brahma gave us the FOUR VEDAS.
But it is Shiva who gave us the TANTRAS and why is that?
The Tantras are known to contain the practical application of how the Vedas work. Therefore, we may conclude that the TANTRA in essence is like the fifth Veda. Tantras were given to humanity, “to gain liberation through expansion in all spheres of existence…”
The Vedas definitely have their importance, but in this Kaliyuga (NOTHING TO DO WITH GODDESS KALI), Tantra actually holds way more importance and is the best tool for enlightenment or self actualization.
Kali Yuga (Sanskrit: कलियुग, translit. kaliyuga, lit. ‘age of Kali’) is the last of the four stages (or ages or yugas) the world goes through as part of a ‘cycle of yugas’ (i.e. Mahayuga) described in the Sanskrit scriptures. The “Kali” of Kali Yuga means “strife”, “discord”, “quarrel” or “contention”. ~~Wiki
Tantra has two paths- Left and right.
Oh BTW, do you know who started the use of the term LEFT HAND PATH in the West. One of my spiritual teachers and a great tantric called Blavatsky. She was a Vamachari tantric and she brought this path in focus to her Western students! She has been a guiding force in my life…she is always with me, guiding me and helping me to realize my mission in the 3d realm. And as some say, she never intended the use of left hand magick to have negative connotations. Her words and h er work were misconstrued.
It is generally held that those who participate in the rituals of Five Ms belong to the category of Vāmācāra.” ~~N. N. Bhattacharyya
What are these FIVE Ms, you ask?
The five M’s are
These five Ms have a deep symbology. While immersed in tantra, you will slowly move away from crude enjoyments because they will mean nothing.
If one is too addicted to these things, when they do it consciously, they will move away from them…slowly but surely…
The right path is linear. Like a straight line. It consists of rituals, worship and such.
The left path, which is sometimes considered dark or black magic is non linear. However, there is nothing dark or negative about the left path. In fact, this path, although not suited for all, can bring one to moksha and gyana, enlightenment and wisdom earlier than the right path.
The left hand path is not EVIL…please study before you say this…please…the left is the IDA or the CHANDRA NADI…
“In Buddhist tantra, the right hand symbolises the male aspect of compassion or skilful means, and the left hand represents the female aspect of wisdom or emptiness.” ~~Robert Beér’s Encyclopedia of Tibetan Symbols and Motifs
But the left path is not easy…it is difficult and the sadhaka or the tantric/witch must be of Vira swabhav(nature), which translates to BRAVE CONSTITUTION. Because the left path opens up unknown chapters of reality. It shows us things that can scare or frighten the weak or the coward and can sway them from their spiritual path. Therefore, before you begin to delve into tantra, it is important to know which path to follow.
I have always been a Vamachari or a follower of the left hand path…
Since most humans are now full of greed and cowardice, there is such fear of the left path or witchcraft which is frickin’ baseless. Why be scared if you understand that everything exists in everything and everything is nothing. SO much so for semantics.
In representations of the Buddha image, the right hand often makes an active mudra of skillful means—the earth-touching, protection, fearlessness, wish-granting or teaching mudra; while the left hand often remains in the passive mudra of meditative equipoise, resting in the lap and symbolizing meditation on emptiness or wisdom.” ~~Robert Beér
The left hand path is the path of Sunyata or the Great Void or the Goddess…so special as I write about this during navaratri…
The tantras are divided into two parts- AGAMA and NIGAMA. In the Agamas, we see worship taking the center stage, but in Nigama, we see the preponderance of Science. Of course, not the materialistic Science of today, but metaphysical and spiritual science.
However, in this era, which is considered to be Kaliyuga, the practise of Agama shastra is probably the best way to seek enlightenment. It is the quickest and the easiest path. Forget the Vedas, the Smrutis and the Puranas for now. This is the time to understand tantra.
Tantra is about delicate balance, so when you learn to ace this energy, you find that you are perpetually in a state of bliss. No matter what happens, your samadhi cannot be disturbed.
Shiva tells us that if we learn the tantric mantras and how to activate the chi in them, then we have created internal alchemy. We become the alchemists.
The basis of tantra is Shiva/Shakti and Shiva is Shakti as Shakti is Shiva. Nothing is Everything and Everything is Nothing…can you sense how sublime this reality can be? It’s just magick!
The changeless, absolute and pure consciousness is Shiva, while the natural tendency of Shiva towards the outward manifestation of the five divine activities is Shakti. So, even though Shiva is Shakti, and Shakti is Shiva, and even though both are merely aspects of the same reality called Paramasiva, still, these concepts of Shiva-hood and Shakti-hood are counted as the first two tattvas. These two tattvas are at the plane of absolute purity and perfect unity. ~~B. N. Pandit, Specific Principles of Kashmir Shaivism (3rd ed., 2008), p. 73.”
In the Vedas, this Shakti is Gayatri and Gayatri is Adhyashakti or the Primordial Mother.
Shiva has said in the Brihadnila Tantra to his consort or Shakti Parvati, that if one understands the fundamental crux of the tantra, then they will never be wanting for anything. And in war, during storms and tsunamis and other natural disasters, Shakti’s mantras will alleviate their suffering. Even during paranormal haunting.
This text Brihad Nila tantra is the secret of all secrets and even just having the text is like having the Goddess Laxmi reside in your place. This path is not one of renunciation. It is a path that brings you all kinds of success.
In fact, with the understanding of the text, the esoteric parts, one will become a miracle worker. A magician.
I will be writing at length about Brihad Nila tantra and much more…join me…
“Sivtatva’ and ‘Saktitatva’ (Lord Shiva and Holy Mother Kali) – Father’s semen in mother’s womb, both combined. Next I am born – ‘Sadasiva’ which means a continuous hilarity within my body. Next comes ‘Iswartatwa’ – Man becomes God and he is so made (One is All); ‘Sadvidyatatva’ – All these I am – All is One – I am all these, which is in action. What is that? Suppose in the spiritual world whatever will reveal within the brain will be flashed among the human race and by such phenomenon the world will get real benefit.” ~~
Watch this video on the esoteric and secretive Nath sect…and Baba Ramnath AGHORI…one of my Gurus…joy Guru
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I ask you for violence, in the nonsense, and you, you give me grace, your light and your warmth. I’d like to paint you, but there are no colors, because there are so many, in my confusion, the tangible form of my great love.’ ~~Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera
There is a sense of deep, deep, penetrative soul searching love as Mars has gone retro in Aquarius which is my house of relationships from my Leo Sun! And the ruler of my 7th from my Ascendant has gone retro.
There is a deep ache in my pussy that is reverberating from down there all the way to my heart chakra. The Priestess uses her pussy as a radar. The pussy detects twinflame yearning, only if you listen. No amount of making love or no amount of self pleasure can satisfy this craving!
This hunger is Neptune dreaming up impossible dreams of everlasting love and pangs of separation. I guess Neptune retro in my 7th house on my Moon, is a time when my heart craves the most for my twin soul. And so does my pussy and my body!
And this body is entangled with another…far, far away, in another multiverse…
I am searching for that body who carries a part of my soul in his. I told you how twinflames are the same soul. Yes, they are an expression of the sacred union of Shiva/Shakti. The great tantric maithuna!
The CAP FM coming up is in my 5th house of romance from my ascendant as as FMS bring things to light, I want to see what pops up for me as I will be away from my family.
Staring at the full moon from a place of wonder and magick! A place closest to my heart. Tearful longings fill my heart. And I cry…I cry aloud, I cry in silence, I cry alone and I cry with friends…the tears don’t go away. It’s been the blackest day…
And I am forced to think of a love I never had. No matter how much I try to shut him out, the hologram keeps laughing at me. I am helpless. I am powerless and impotent as my body responds to him, so does my mind and what of the soul. He is my soul!
There is someone I want to meet. There is someone I want to hold. There is someone I want to love and it is you! This should be an easy piece to write. The words should flow smoothly, because of my depth of love for you. But maybe, words here cannot do justice!
Every single moment I avoid thinking of you, all I can do is think of you. I don’t know what your name is, but I know when I hear it, it will bring me peace. Blissful, unadulterated peace. A name that will bring a smile to my lips. A name so familiar that it will ring in the very core of my being. A name which resonated within through infinities and eternities!
Memories, memories, memories…they appear in the torturous stormy seas of my mind, but they disappear. All that remains is your smile, like the lighthouse across ravenous destructive waves. Your gleaming light saves me from drowning in the fogs of the abyss.
I know you are as aware of me as I am and maybe while you sit staring at your screen, in your Universe, maybe due to quantum information bleeding into parallel worlds, you see my words appear before you.
You do not know where these words come from, for you have no idea what they mean, but you read on. Why? Because there is something so familiar in these words that makes every pain and every sadness go away.
You are eternally bonded to me, why do you deny it? Are you even aware of this connection? Do you thirst for me?
I think you feel all of this, as much as I do…I feel you crave for my body and soul as much as I do yours and what of my mind? It is as beautiful as yours…
You have looked for me as I have for you, but we have not met, because there is no inter dimensional travel for me yet. Do you want to come to my Universe instead?
Maybe you’re already trying to figure out how to get to my Universe. Maybe you are devising a time warp machine that will make you cross the dimensional distance and you will come into this multiverse. What unrealistic expectations, I tell you!
Or maybe you don’t exist…more likely the latter…my pussy knows you exist.
So back one more time, due to public demand to speak about Twinflmes. Tada! Now listen to me, I am travelling all the way to a magickal twinflame place called Goa in the next two days.
As La Luna becomes pregnant in Capricorn, the polarity of Cancer, I have been called to be close to the seas. One more time, I will be about to stare at the Goa skies and think of this crazy twinflame connection that I felt once, many, many years ago…
No I am not going for fun and will be going alone. No baby. No husband. Just my work and my solitude and the energy of my twinflame which is all pervasive in Goa. Nothing can stop me from feeling crazy dejavus in that place. It is like he is right there, but I know he is not. Lol!
It’s not possible for my twinflame story to be so easy. What if I see him walking towards me in Vagator? Will he smile? Will he remember me? Will he run to embrace me?
Sometimes I think of what it would be like to meet him. What would I say? Would I feel centered or absolutely ruffled? Would I be articulate? No man has ever made me lose my tongue. No man ever. Maybe he is the only man who can get me tongue tied. And it is not easy to get me tongue tied.
The Hummingbird in Vagator! Part 2, all alone.
Read about Part-1
Walking down the shore, drawing patterns on the beach, smelling the salty seas, thinking of what it would be…if he was here…yes, I wish you were here…you from another frickin’ multiverse.
Couldn’t you just be from this dimension! Talk about complicating stuff!
Maybe, maybe…you are already trying to communicate with me. Maybe through art. The way I like it.
Sometimes I think of you as a painter. Drawing in the canvas of my soul.
Sometimes I see you as a sculptor, capturing my infinite essence in your artwork.
Sometimes, I think of you speaking to me in a tune, crafting the sounds to describe the pain and love in your soul.
I promise to look for them. I know you communicate with me, through psychic energy and sacred sound.
I know you are not in my mind, or are you?
Sometimes, I feel scared that we will never meet in our physical form on earth, but then maybe in death, we shall be united in some way.
Although I hope to meet you in this life. Even if I am seventy and I see you coming, I will know you have come. And I will rest in peace to know I saw your face, even if for a brief moment!
I cannot even write that I knew you were the one since I laid my eyes on you, because till now, I have waited to see your face. Till now I have waited to look into your eyes. I have waited to see if you love me with the same intensity that I do.
I wish we could grow old together, but we won’t. I wish we could read each other’s minds, which we do, but we will never talk about it. We will never see our children, because time and space have conspired to keep us apart.
The best part about this craving I have for you, is that I have no clue what about you I am craving. Is it my soul, now fragmented just wants to seek unification of some sort? And is my body reacting to this connection? My pussy is…there is stargate in there, waiting to be activated…by you!
Every time the rain drops come crashing down like silver sheets, inundating my consciousness, there is a tune I hear. Or is it a chant? Whatever it is, it reminds me of you. Rain and sunshine, both! How perverse is that!
No man has ever touched my body the way you would, because having the same soul, this body too, is yours. No one can kiss these lips like you do, for they are your own lips and when you look into my eyes, you will feel like you are looking into your own being!
I am your mirror…look at us!
That is the connection I feel to this unnamed energy that I call my twinflame. There is no tangible physical form, but there is energy. Energy which flows from his heart to mine and I think the energy being churned out by the skies above is heightening this connection, this yearning, this impossible fulfillment.
My body aches to be with you, the void in my pussy, impossible to satiate with anything, but you. Every atom of my body is eager to express my love for you in an impossible dance of sacred union. Our bodies enmeshed in an eternal embrace, you pulsating within me, setting every fiber of my being on fire.
No hands can ever worship this body like yours and no one can pleasure me like you.
There is no you. There is no me. There is only the sacred fire of our communion. There is only our love burning bright through the abysmal darkness of creation and destruction.
My all consuming passion drives my creativity, it drives my lust for life, it drives my sense of purpose. It is the anchor of my life, my North Star, the ever present fixture in the mirth of my consciousness.
I know you communicate with me through symbols and archetypes, through birth and death, but now it is time to show yourself…appear and manifest in this Universe…
To someone in some multiverse…
“From the idea that the self is not given to us, I think there is only one practical consequence: we have to create ourselves as a work of art.” ~~MICHEL FOUCAULT
Mercury conjunct Jupiter, in Scorpio- look what it has made us do? Share pain and grief collectively. PURGE!!! Look at the death and rape culture around you. It is a cult of war and violence, a civilisation brought up on deception, dishonesty, violence, misogyny and apathy. Look at the almost Pavlovian mind control the ruling elites have rooted in our society. Look how conditioned we have become. So desensitised. Our behaviours so self-destructive. Where is all this leading?
The NM in Libra was…mmm…well, not like your conventional Libra energy. It felt dark, deep and a lingering anxiety remains. After the Mercury conjunct the Moon in Scorpio, the next day, I began to finally get a grip over the energy.
The #metoo campaign with its sordid narratives rocked my world. Scenes and shots came back from my past. Fragmented, disjointed memories of pain, hurt and suffocation.
Those hands on me, those disgusting crawling hands all over my body…the memories drove me nuts. Sounds and smells came rushing in while I read stories of rape and abuse from women all over the world. It reminded me of all the times that men have violated my boundaries and it is a large number. Be it in asking me to smile or calling me bossy or calling me a slut because I will not sleep with them, men have used and abused their positions numerous times. But we women are always expected to take everything with a pinch of salt.
I come from a country where there is a particular brand of cinema called Bollywood that has a specialised synchronised dance track which is called ITEM NUMBER, as a beautiful woman in scanty clothes, her dance troop of a bevy of girls(half naked too) behind her perform a sensual dance moving seductively to a male audience that is hooting and cat calling. She is the item. So we sorta know how to take misogyny to levels most people cannot even envisage.
You know, I have been called so many names including Manhater, Feminazi, Female Supremacist, witch, bitch, whore, slut…blah, blah…but nothing matters. I work from my heart and I do not hate. Yes I speak up against injustice, yes, I seek a revolution or an evolution…but not with hatred. Men I do not hate you. Men…I love you!
But maybe it is time to DECONSTRUCT YOUR METACOGNITION/COGNITION and POST COGNITIVE PROCESSES. Maybe it is time to think about how you think. This might actually make you a more effective thinker. But at the same time, it is also time to FEEL. Think about how you feel and why you feel so. Do you even allow yourself the luxury of feeling? Because I know how society ridicules you every-time you show emotions. Be a man and what not. But feeling my love are not a luxury, let me tell you, they are a necessity for healthy functionality in life.
I know some of you hate me. Think long and hard. Why do you hate me? Why? Because I speak the truth? Because I can see the toxic patterns of patriarchy? Because I think and feel and actually speak up, unlike so many of my sisters? It hurts the most when women misunderstand. Because it is high time we women stop enabling patriarchy.
And men…what when tomorrow you have a girl? What then? Sleep peacefully, you have WILD CRUSADERS out there and the tide will turn. Let us be that change.
You cannot label me. Every single time you start to think that you have me all figured out, I promise to surprise you. You know why you cannot label me? Because humans cannot be labelled. No matter how appropriate the label might be, the labelling by itself is redundant. I will dress the way I want to, because I do not dress for your gaze. Yes, I want you to look at me and appreciate me, but my reality does not revolve around how much you fancy me. I want you to want me, but with respect and dignity. I want you to see me for what I am…a multidimensional being of light who is having a human experience. She is a woman who is free, wild and adventurous and I like looking at life through her lens.
But I am not her…this is not some WOKE BS. This is in fact the very truth of the fabric of this reality. I am not ME, not this body, not this pussy and not this orgasm. Hahahaha! I am in constant flux, forever shifting and I already exist in the many versions in the many multiverses. But I am also here, typing this so you can read.
Absolutely overwhelming? Do not let fear engulf you. You are an astronaut of the mind, aren’t you? Or else why are you reading this?
Just because a woman wears make up and skimpy clothes does not make her a slut. Her mini skirt is not an invite for your lust. My red lipstick does not mean I am saying yes to you. Understand that. And that is what I am here to show you. Women cannot be put away in tiny little labels. So stop calling me a whore, slut, manhater or whatever the fuck your toxic mind can think of. Jupiter has deployed his archetypal lens and activated my third house of communication which happens to be Scorpio. So the intensity and the truths will come out. Look how the brave women are speaking up and toppling the status quo.
Today, the Scorpionic Moon trines Neptune and the dreamscape opens up for me and oh, I am bleeding since the NM in Libra. You know how my psychic energy swells every time I menstruate and it is usually during this time I have my most profound visions and epiphanies or aha moments. Menstrual blood is very potent for magick and can be used in multiple ways. In fact sex during this time can most certainly be magickal, for both involved. It takes on a primal oeuvre.
Back to the splintered visions. There are fragmented, chaotic dreams…dreams of the snowy Himalayas, dreams of cymbals clashing, dreams of the pale red dot of a Sun…I can smell the incense, I can hear the chanting, I can feel the vibe, it is electric with spiritual energy.
Scorpio season is all about digging up the metaphorical/metaphysical dirt and really getting down and dirty to investigate, so I will share with you an experience I had a few months ago. Let me know what you think of them.
So this monk from Tibet, Lhasa writes to me. He tells me that he has known me for many lives and in the last incarnation we worked and studies together in Tibet, in Gyanganj.
In fact, I had told him in that reality to come and find me in the 3D world through some Youtube videos I have made in 2011 or so. He told me that I have asked him to remind me of the mark in my chest. Look I have no mark on my chest, but I wanted to get a wolf tattoo done there. But for now, there is nothing.
He told me to meditate on this and get back to him. I regret not taking this whole thing seriously and in fact I did try to sit in meditation, but my baby was all over me and the cats had to be fed, so I could not really tap into any vision.
I did not respect the monk or even pay attention. I called him brother and he told me that monks are no one’s brothers. They are just monks and that I am a Nun from the snowy slopes of Tibet.
I am aware of my connection to Tibet and the signs and synchronicity that I am experiencing have increased significantly over the last few years. I know Tibet has been my home during numerous incarnations and I have meditated and studied there. The Himalayas are my home and I know this.
And then there are memories of the kalachakra initiation. Let me tell you one thing, my greatest desire in life right now is receiving the Kalachakra transmissions from the Dalai Lama. This particular Dalai Lama has been my teacher in many incarnations and it is time we meet.
There is so much spiritual telepathy between us that I am actually shocked that we have not met yet. I dream of the Dalai Lama with a strange persistence. I have never dreamt of one person so much. He is always there, in my dreams. Everything becomes silent when he smiles at me and calls me to his arms. Everything becomes silent and just the way it is meant to be.
I hope to travel across seven seas soon and go to one place which has been calling me for very many years. I can feel myself there too and I think a wild adventure awaits me. Actually this Libra NM journaling was much about that. It felt good to finally decide that I want to go there. Now let’s see if the Universe responds.
Today I let go…
I let go of your eyes..
Today I let go…
I let go of your smile.
For those eyes never twinkled for me.
For that smile never flashed for me.
Today I let go…
I let go of the unrealistic expectations I have carried for so long.
Today I let go…
I let go of ever hearing your voice call my name.
Today I let go…
I let go of the futility of my emotions…
Today I let go…
I let go of the craving in my heart for you…
Today I let go…
I let go of the impossible connection I thought we had.
We never spoke.
But I know we exchanged a million looks.
We never touched.
But I know exactly how your skin would feel.
We never even met.
But I know from the moment I saw you that you are the ONE for me.
This is ridiculous.
This feeling of such abstract love.
A love that never was and never will be.
I thought we had a chance.
But we don’t.
Is it because I held onto the notion of you for so long?
Which is why…
Today I let go…
I let go of everything…
Is it possible to love someone without ever meeting them?
Is it possible to feel so deeply for a stranger?
For someone with whom you have not even exchanged a greeting?
Is it possible to have such strong love for someone you might have seen in the crowd?
I remember the way you looked at me,
That one time in my dreamworld,
When you and me drowned in colours of red.
Embraced each other.
It was just a dream.
It was a moment of retrocausality.
I know you are my future which is why I held onto the past so vehemently.
I know that we are one,
Which is why today I let go…
I let go of wanting to be with you,
Because you are and will be, forever with me.
Not a moment longer can I wait,
It’s already so late.
Will you not say what is burning your lips?
Will you not reveal your heart?
It’s tearing me apart.
How long will you let silence envelope your being?
This 3D world is all about ageing and dying.
How long will your torture continue?
Is there no other avenue?
For expressing your love?
Yes, it is you my Beloved,
If you do not know it so.
It is you for whom my body burns,
My mind imagines and my soul reincarnates.
Dissolve this dualism.
Return to me, my Beloved.
Not a moment longer can I wait.
You are the ONENESS of existence,
You are the separation of sky and water,
You are the rhythm of the pulsating stars,
Vortexes do you create with your breath.
Universes reside in your pores my Beloved.
In every way you are what I created.
In the canvas of my mind.
Like a tornado did you come into my life.
Ripping away every shard of sanity.
Insane have I become.
For you, for your love and for union.
Every stab of pain that I have ever felt.
It was you my beloved.
For how would I know you,
If I did not know pain.
You are my first rays of the Sun,
You are the pale kiss of the Moon,
You are the dream of a perfect imperfection!
Where is the peace that I long for?
Where is the Silence I seek?
The quest of looking for you,
Through aeons of time and space.
Is there no grace?
Tired am I.
Enter into me and reside there now my Beloved.
I know I have found God.
No more residing in the eye of insanity.
That time when we kissed.
Those tears kept flowing through our eyes.
They flooded our souls.
Uncontrollable were the emotions.
In the mind’s oceans.
This birth I have looked for you,
and in the life before,
And I will keep looking even after.
Thirsty and hungry am I now my Beloved.
Our love story will remain hidden,
In the secret scrolls of humanity.
Let us circle around the sacred tree.
In silent ceremony of our union.
Humanity is not ready to love like this.
My Beloved, all this is just a dream.
Wake up now and come to me.
The rain flows from the sky and tears from my eyes.
For this cycle of birth I have waited.
Waited for your embrace.
Every single day I sit in worship.
I look into the eyes of Shiva and all I see,
Are your eyes dancing back.
I sit atop the mountain
The wind shoves me to the floor,
Like it is you.
My body tingles and my heart sings.
It scares me to think that we might be simulations.
A forgotten project in some far away World.
My Beloved, you and me might not exist in reality.
It’s as if I feel a panic attack.
But no, says an inner voice.
Everything is as real or as unreal,
Reality is experience.
It exists cause we view it.
We have subscribed to this show.
Whether we like it or not.
But it’s not too late to unsubscribe.
We can create our own story.
I don’t care if you are real or unreal.
For what is real?
You might be as unreal as the Universe itself.
But does that make my love any less real?
This is our time to play together.
For soon our worlds will collide.
Our energy fields fused in one.
Do you feel it like I do?