The way in which any given culture treats the vagina — whether with respect or disrespect, caringly or disparagingly — is a metaphor for how women in general in that place and time are treated…NAOMI WOLF
How does our society treat pussy? Hahahahaha…
I am going straight to it. I will talk about the cunt/pussy/vagina. What words come to your mind? Abuse? Belittling? To denote a coward!
To this, I have to quote Betty Davis. Didn’t she say that balls are weak? They are fragile and hurt easily. Compare it to a vag. The vag is equipped to pop out a child for fuck’s sake! That is like some fifty four fractures happening in one go.
Forget the theory! I laboured for seventeen hours, so I know how painful it can get. I had begun to cultivate a friendship with my pussy over the months of my pregnancy. It happened organically.
A conversation started which made me write my book Pussy Talks. Yes I am looking to publish it and share my experiences with the world.
I have been gathering sex stories from men and women for over six years now. It started off as a research project for a script, but became an obsession soon. Exploring people’s sexual memories with them can have a profound effect on the psyche.
It is absurd the way sex is perceived. It is shown to be immoral, only for procreating and blah, blah. In fact, it is in conflict with some of our highest ideals and aspirations.
Why? What is so disgusting or disturbing about sex?
When people talk about the moments they have orgasmed, or the moment they kissed not only the mouths, but the souls too, there is a certain vibration that is created. I am very aware of vibrations, energy and frequencies I pick up. This subject became of great interest to me.
The stories I collected from hundreds of people were not just of orgasms and great sex. There were moments of pain, separation, dejection, humiliation. But what was interesting is that sex is actually the very fundamental on which society operates.
Whether we are ready to consciously acknowledge it or not, I don’t know, but sex is a huge part of our lives. Studies show that men think of sex pretty much most of the times and trust me, going by my data, women don’t fall short either.
If not, often times women crave for sex much more, but are ashamed and guilty of admitting it. Yes society has scared us into thinking that if we women think of sex or feel sexual then we are nymphos. Bad, bad, women. Lock them up, grab them by the pussies and burn them at the stake.
If nothing so severe, harm her by maligning her reputation, spread online gossip. Or maybe even throw acid on her face. Fuck knows who these morons are, but they exist.
Watch how we spend so much getting wasted in nightclubs and pubs, talking to strangers whom we may not like, but what is going on in our heads? How do I touch her exposed abs? How do I touch his biceps? We play so many games of coquetry and crap, that it is time, we acted more like grown ups and claimed our sexuality.
During sex, most of us are scared to reveal their inner most self. The vulnerable self. We spend more time trying to hide who we are. Men play into machismo tropes whereas women play into being the role he likes her in the most. I mean in most cases, I have seen this.
Very few women actually have told me that they speak to their guys about their intimate sexual fantasies. I do. I cannot not tell my partner. And he does the same. We are so much stronger for this. Because from day 1, I made it clear to him that this is who I am and I love sex. The rubbing together of organs, the kisses, the penetration, everything leads up to a climactic point where I can just BE and explore all of myself.
Use sex as a grounding mechanism to remind you of how perfect we humans are in our imperfections and ultimately that is what being human means- in all its rich messiness, desires and longings.
Why is PUSSY a derogatory word? Our first step to reclaim our sacred sexuality will be to understand the word PUSSY/VAGINA.
Listen your pussy is not only connected to the brain, but is a part of your soul. Yes it is. It is sacred and it is the very seat of your feminine powers.
Sex in today’s world is just a physiological experience, driven by evolution, some would argue. But while gathering data, I sensed that the most elevating sexual experiences were shared with a like-minded individual who understands what existence means to us and shares our vision and journey. The excitement when two such souls share sexual energy is erotic and filled with creative and spiritual potency.
There is a synergy between the mind-body(brain and pussy), consciousness and the sexual urge or LIBIDO. Yes sex is a biological act, but ask yourself that have you never felt the poetics behind sex? Have you never felt a spiritual ecstasy that drops the EGO-SELF and transforms the two players to ABSOLUTE UNION!
It’s a Science and it is Spirituality! Sex influences every aspect of our being. It can be a cause of stress or a tool to address stress. The question is how do you link biology to BEING!
Once one understands what scientists at the most advanced laboratories and clinics around the world are confirming — that the vagina and the brain are essentially one network, or “one whole system,” as they tend to put it, and that the vagina mediates female confidence, creativity, and sense of transcendence — the answers to many of these seeming mysteries fall into place…Naomi Wolf
Women, your pelvic nerve is a superhighway of info that passes from the base of the spine to the cervix, connecting it to the brain and this “superhighway”is unique for every woman! And very advanced. This is why we women have such different sexual trigger points.
Some like their feet nibbled, some like breast play, some are into heavy kissing and touching, you get the plot. But the guys in comparison, have a way more simpler neural network in their pelvic area. Do you see how this piece of info completely overturns the widely accepted patriarchal sexual norms? Do you see how we women have been duped for centuries into believing that we don’t want sex?
We are now fully convinced that WOMEN DO NOT LIKE SEX. They just “do it” to please men. But friends…the interviews and data that I have been collecting screams bloody murder at this perversion of a biological reality.
Women, we have to UNLEARN these toxic lies we have been fed. I know by now we have digested the info, assimilated it and we now as a collective, fully BELIEVE IN IT. Women who like sex are vamps, fallen women, sluts, bitches, whores.
I know sex in this modern world is hard where images of perfect bodies crowd our psyche as we are about to get naked and in bed, ready to get intimate. And here we have men, born and bred, in the pornographic culture where the sexual act is concentrated on her tits and pussy. It is a linear narrative and then wham, bam, it is over! For women this is severely disappointing.
The media is feeding you non stop with subliminal prompts, binding you to this dense 3D reality by feeding your reptilian brain. This part takes care of your primary functions. They have reduced SEX to this vibration when it is clearly not so. Sex is a multidimensional creative and spiritual act.
The quintessential woman wants to play and be played with. She does not care for a quickie. This does not involve all her neurological sexual systems and leaves her unsatisfied. See, her whole body has to be involved while making love. My most fulfilling sexual experiences have been when I have managed to enter an altered state of consciousness. Yes, like with psychedelics! 😉
We women are like the shamans who have to feel fully connected and invoked to enter the sacred sexual space. In our minds, in our bodies. My most transcendent orgasms have come when I have managed to enter the dimensional vortex. Where I have lost myself, only to find myself again. But this time, I was a new person.
When sex becomes just a physiological sensation, then this aspect of out-of-body experience can get lost. In a two minute quickie you cannot grasp the beauty of the cosmos. You just feel the physical sensations and maybe mental, because the man is probably your partner, but you will never experience such transcendental bliss and awareness.
Life can be an orgasm! At least for me and some women I have worked with. Sometimes, I get so turned on by music or art or even a conversation. I like to stay in this orgasmic bliss as much as I can. My whole body begins to vibrate. My Pussy feels so aware, so awake. Such an energetic being! My sexual energy is at the peak when I know I am valued by my partner and my emotional and spiritual needs are being cared for.
Even if you are into one-night stands or sexual exploration, you can enrich your life by just being aware of each encounter and treating it like a spiritual act. You can begin by showing respect and love to your woman, even if it is for a brief moment. Best be clear of your intentions.
Sex is a tool. You can use it to achieve spiritual and psycho-somatic well being. But how? By staying PRESENT in the moment. By not being in another place, with another person. This not only insults your partner in front, but also closes you up to the possibility of creating something magical at that moment. More coming up in the book and the workshops.
My suggestion is, change your attitude to sex. No it is not just a physiological function, it is so much more. Do not be scared of it or do not feel guilty if you have sexual desires and thoughts. And even if you are in a relationship, it is perfectly alright to feel attracted to someone else.
The question is…what do you do with that attraction? Sometimes even when we feel sexual chemistry, it could also mean that the person is from our soul group. You know we all have soul groups- 144 souls in one. 12 into 12. But if your attraction hurts your partner, then it is time to start a mature dialogue.
Your partner has also felt similar feelings, but most of us will never accept it. Not even to ourselves. If you truly value the relationship you are in, you will never act on your impulses. But it is important to realise that these feelings exist! Sexual attraction and desire are absolutely NORMAL!
It is natural to have FB crushes and feel horny looking at someone you fancy, because our brains and pussies are inter-connected ladies. If we like someone mentally, we can feel sexual towards them and it may have nothing to do with their six packs.
In this rape culture, women are sexually stressed all the time. Rapes, molestation, cat calls…they go on. Which is why women are so hyper-stressed. Korean researchers have shown that when a female mouse is sexually stressed over time, she not only becomes cantankerous and angry, but her vaginal tissues also start deteriorating. Can you imagine what is happening to u s women in this culture?
Every time we hear a salacious comment, we are inhibiting dopamine receptors from producing this chemical which makes us happy, creative and confident. Every time some presses our boobs in the subway or in local trains, our pussy is actually feeling this as a tremendous painful shock.
We may not understand the implications…but this is what has turned women into enablers of patriarchy. This hurt they have been taking on for ages has resulted in the objectification of the pussy into something ugly, hideous and grotesque.
It is time to change all that. The pussy is beautiful for fuck’s sake. No matter what it looks like or where it is in the maiden, mother or crone stage. It does not fucking matter! The pussy is divine and it is about time we women and men, society as a collective realised and accepted this. What healing can occur!!!
When Donald Trump said, “GRAB THEM BY THE PUSSY”…he hurt all of us collectively. Yes…men and women. For women it is more obvious. Why? Because blood circulation in the pussy constricts when she feels threatened!! So by demeaning the pussy, he sent a direct signal to our brains that we are not safe.
Our bodies are not safe. Our reproductive rights are not ours. We are smaller, so we get less pay…the misogynistic saga continues!
But who is going to change all this? So much hurt, so much pain? If we muster enough compassion for the wounded masculine, we can heal him. With sex, with love, with our feminine powers, our yin energy.
The first step must be to heal ourselves, our pussies and our own wounds. For when this healing occurs, you will look at the world anew. After much study, experimentation, meditation and experience, I have devised a MEDITATION MODULE called the WOMB JOURNEY! This has been very beneficial to loads of women I have shared this with.
If you look around, you see all these relationships. Somehow most appear as shallow, selfish, possessive, jealous, controlling. But how often do you see a well balanced relationship?
A woman who understands that her man has unresolved skeletons in his closet should make it a point to help him address those issues. If you leave them there and don’t speak about everything, then they can become deadly dangerous. If you can get your man to own these emotional issues, they will give him focus, courage and direction.
In fact, a true conversation can change a man’s life. But in most cases, you have to initiate it and of course you both must be open enough to discuss potentially disturbing and personal issues.
In most cases, it is the woman, with her feminine wisdom that must align her man to his spiritual power. This could be a painful process. Even during sex, it is up to you to let your man free. In his mind and in his body and soul, he should feel free. Don’t try to tame your partner’s sexuality!
If you feel like you want to explore some issues but your partner is not willing to, then it is up to you to see what is worth more. However, you must never emotionally blackmail your partner into doing sexual acts they are not comfortable with.
A true sexual experience is all about FREEDOM…such potent freedom that you lose the sense that you are caged in a fleshy body. All the toxic mores and customs, ideas and traditions your man has picked up, can be unlearned.
A man can be shown the true potency of the sacred feminine. This does not mean you “mother” him. For fuck’s sake, a woman who mothers her man, is not acting from her sacred yoni space. This does not mean that you cannot act motherly towards your man. In fact, you should play all the roles when needed.
Just make sure, you don’t get caught in the vicious mothering cycle. It is thankless and will drain your SACRAL CHAKRA. When a woman’s sacral chakra is in balance, she appears magnetic. Sex here can be a conduit for resolving all his unresolved emotional baggage. You can HEAL him. Even if he is a random encounter.
After sex, you can release all his pain and issues to the Universe as it could harm your energy field. Compress them in a tiny box. Go to the ends of the Earth(in your mind) and bury it. The Earth takes all these vibrations of pain and releases them to the 5D awareness as holographic plants. You should visualise this process and see these holograms bloom! The pain has been released!!!
Mother earth has a wild side by responding and reacting in the moment, in the NOW. Discerning is a moment by moment dynamic play…available through being connected to yourself to discern what is true in the moment. But no matter, even if it a drunken sexcapade, you can make it a spiritual experience.
Intent is all that matters. The intent to heal and love with sex. How can we go wrong there? If intention can change the molecular structure of water, then what do you think it can do to us? How much water are we? 50% to 65%! Yes we humans are mostly water!
So what have you gleaned from this article? Don’t think about it. There is no understanding it like 2+2=4. It is not so simple you see. The thinker is caught in the thinking feedback loop and she is trying to escape the pain. The thinker does not have all the mysteries of existence. The thinker is like Kafka’s gatekeeper.
“Before the law sits a gatekeeper. To this gatekeeper comes a man from the country who asks to gain entry into the law. But the gatekeeper says that he cannot grant him entry at the moment. The man thinks about it and then asks if he will be allowed to come in later on. ‘It is possible,’ says the gatekeeper, ‘but not now.’”..NOT NOW!!???
The man’s challenge was to try and get past the gatekeeper in order to get to the law. Eventually the man becomes old and dies without ever gaining access to the law. Before the man dies, the gatekeeper tells him that the entrance was made just for the man and since the man is now dying the entrance to the law will also be closed! See how perverse it all is!
Thinking will not allow you to enter this space of sacred sexuality. In this space, everything is love…yes ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!! Love will make us peal off all the layers and create sexual alchemy. From this alchemical process will something magical be born.
With a love that is all encompassing and divine, we can begin to heal and become a society that treats the pussy with respect, symbolising all women are treated too with respect and love.
But what if we did not have sex? Fuck! What then? All I can say is that we would be invulnerable! And what is life without the human vulnerabilities? Where is the ridiculousness of it all? We would definitely not have much in content for our films, soaps and books! And what of all the Buzzfeed relationship gyan? Lots of us would be without work or ambition! Lol!
Sex creates chaos. A chaos that is necessary. As it is from this chaos, that magic happens…
Enough already…Fuck everything else, start loving yourself and your pussy. Touch her, speak with her and become friends. Trust me it works…
More on becoming friends with your pussy…watch this space for the release of my book Pussy Talks and if this topic interests you, contact me, support me, like, share and comment.
Healing with Tinaheals 