Hey Gandhababa, today is your birth anniversary,
I have so much to say,
But words fail me.
I delude myself on my so-called word mastery,
But in actuality, all I have today is tears.
Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of pain,
Every single emotion I experience, cascades down my eyes,
They express themselves like the Ganges which flows impetuously,
Shiva’s jata is her home, my heart is the home of my tears.
Today I stand before you, my Shiva, my Deva, my Gurudeva,
I stand bereft, naked and destitute,
I stand like a beggar on the street, filthy, abject and desperate.
My source of sustenance is the warmth of your eyes.
Your piercing eyes, they play with me.
Sometimes you seem angry, rudra-rupi,
Sometimes you are the very picture of motherly love,
Sometimes you guide me to a better understanding of this life,
Sometimes you are just the epitome of shanti, of shakti.
I know about your deva-tulya siddhis,
I know you are super-man,
But to me you are my mother, my father, my friend and my child.
To me you are the light in the lamp of my life,
To me you are the meaning behind my activities,
To me you are the smile in the lips of my child.
You are an atom, you are the Universe.
You are my breath, you are my eyes,
You see through me, things I understand and things I have no clue of.
You are the Sun, the essence behind the bright orb visible in the sky.
You make it possible for me to exist, for all life to exist.
You are Bramha, Vishnu, Maheswara.
You create, you preserve, and you destroy.
You dance the tandava, the dumroo in your hands.
I hear your dumaroo in the thunder,
I hear your laughter in silence.
I can see you sitting atop Mount Kailash,
I can see you as Shiva, my Ishtadeva,
I know of how your body smelled of the lotus,
I know how you had the divine lotus positioned in your navi.
I imagine your smell; it is the most beautiful smell,
I know, I am doing an appalling task of explaining it,
How can I explain a scent?
How do you explain salty to one who has never tasted salt?
How can you describe the raw beauty of a sunset to one who is blind?
You scent is hard-wired in my system,
Not only for this life, where I have not met you,
Not in this time when you had taken mahasamadhi before I was born,
But I speak of a time when you and me, we were together,
We were together in the fabric of time and space!
We are entangled to the very quantum level,
You are the rhythm of my breath.
You are the light of my eyes.
You are the sound of the anahata nada which rings eternally in my soul.
You are indestructible,
You are forever existent.
There is no beginning to you and there is no end.
You heavenly glow pervades each Sunrise,
The golden rays of the Sun are made of your essence.
You are the father of Akhanda Mahayoga.
You are the soul of the Navamundi Mahasana.
For the welfare of mankind, to awaken us slumbering lot,
You dealt with the wrath of the Mahayogis of Gyanganj,
Humanity is not ready for such gifts, they said.
But your compassion was greater than any reason,
Your love for us was like a mother’s,
You shouldered the responsibility of giving us such divine gifts.
And look what we did with it?
Look what has become of all you gave selflessly.
You would draw diseases from your disciples,
Such was your love, such was your commitment.
You would rather suffer than let any of your children suffer.
You are the very epitome of motherhood, of self dedication to your young.
Parabrahm in a nutshell is you,
The abstract has concretized itself in you,
You may have two hands, two eyes and a physical body like us,
But you are nothing like us,
You are God, you are pure consciousness.
So how are we to understand you in this dense level?
We can never understand your greatness,
Or who you really are.
How can an ant ever grasp the greatness of poetry?
Or how can a koyi fish understand philosophy?
We will never realize who you truly are.
The only thing we can do is love you.
We can fill our hearts, our minds and our souls with mad love for you.
Like Meerabai felt for her Lord.
We can love you like the desert loves rain.
We can love you like a hungry man loves a morsel of food after weeks of starvation,
We can love you like a soldier loves peace after spending years on the battlefield.
Your essence is indivisible, akhanda,
Your thoughts can create Universes and the blink of your eyelids can destroy them.
You are the true Sadguru, you are the true Ishta,
You are everything,
You are me, you are me, and you are me,