You know the first time you meet someone and you have butterflies in your stomach. That feeling of pure adrenaline. Yes we love it. When we hook up with a stranger we are attracted to, we get a huge kick of adrenaline. It is tempestuous. It makes us go weak in the knees. But there is NO SUSTAINABILITY and interest wears off as soon as the thrill is dead. Why does the thrill die? FAMILIARITY!!!
This type of sex is dependent on the release of the hormone adrenaline which makes us thrill seekers can be quite challenging. It was for me at least. Haha. This type of sex can often result in humiliation, disgrace, feeling cheap and used. There is no internal bonding. There is no spiritual connectivity.
The very antithesis of this is the type of sex that we need to bring into our lives. This type of sex involves love, care, trust, respect and FAMILIARITY. The main ingredient of this type of copulation is harmony and synchronicity between couples. This type of sex is about GIVING not so much about RECEIVING. That does not mean that you do not receive. For you receive way more. You receive surrender.
When you pleasure your partner without thinking of you own wants and desires, then you show them their importance and that in turn makes them open up in ways you can never anticipate. They will surrender not just their bodies, but their minds and souls to you.
When you truly connect with another human being and create sexual energy which can heal and transform you completely, then you release the chemical OXYTOCIN. What is that? Well that is the BONDING HORMONE. When a mother gives birth, she releases the most amount of oxytocin ever released by a human so she can lactate and breastfeed.
In fact this is the reason why men are so interested in the breasts and of course the breast is a pleasure trove for the woman as the nerve endings are connected to her clitoris. Therefore men have been stimulating the breasts since time immemorial. No couple abstains from breast play in some form or the other.
The sex that releases oxytocin in the brain is what exists between husband and wife and between long-term partners. But as we are flooded with pornography and ready to consume internet sexual content, we are detaching more and more from our natural partners.
Too many families are breaking apart because the couple is so busy bringing up the children or making a career that they have ignored to cultivate SACRED sexual chemistry. The result is infidelity. The main reason for this is that they do not enjoy each other any more. Because they have not taken the time and the effort required to make sex excitable and enjoyable with a long term partner. It is not easy. It required loads of work and a steadfast commitment. But wait it is not just boring. It can be so rewarding! Trust me! I know.
Men are rampantly cheating on women. Of course women are too. But we see this play out more in the masculine archetypes. This is such a sorry state of affairs for too many women are conditioned to not take sex seriously. They are taught that it is something they have to “give” their husbands. Why? Because he needs it. Yes that is what I have heard from so many women. Most of them consider sex a part of marital duties and derive little pleasure from it. Fuckity fuck!
Women have been so badly slut shamed and called names that they have repressed their sexual desires. When in reality, women are extremely sexual creatures. Look at their anatomy. Women have been designed to enjoy sex and let no one tell you otherwise.
A woman is not a slut or a whore if she is sexually empowered. A woman who is in touch with her sexual energy and knows how to work it is truly a wondrous individual. For she is the true epitome of the GODDESS energy. She knows what pleasures her and she knows how to get it. She craves for no man, because she is self sufficient in every way.
Yes she does seek her MASCULINE, her YANG, her partner, her polarity. But she is no damsel in distress waiting for him. She is a Goddess. She is not afraid to speak her mind. She is not afraid to explore her psyche. She is not afraid to say openly that it is normal for women to want sex.
Yet, while gathering data for my book, I discovered so many couples barely have sex twice a month. I’m talking about 30 somethings. Both husband and wife are so busy with work that they barely manage to get a quickie in once in two weeks. There is hardly much foreplay involved and most of the time, she does not orgasm.
She does not care. Why bother about orgasm? He is happy right. Grunting and moaning while he climaxes. The pleasure she has given him is enough. Right? Why does she need to orgasm?
Well, well, well ladies. If you are caught in this BS, then take it from a woman who takes her orgasms very seriously. You do not know what you are missing. For both men and women are capable of full bodied orgasms which can make them transcend space and time.
There is such a sense of UNITY. There is such a sense of bliss and the act in itself has now become sacred. This is the Goddess energy all women need to channel. They need to become the GODDESS who must have her pleasure taken care of. And that includes your man knowing how to get you to orgasm….yummy full bodied orgasms. Oh, oh, oh…did you know that orgasms activate the VAGUS NERVE. Google it if you don’t know that the fuck that is.
You can bring back the magic in your love life with your partner even after decades of marriage. In fact when you start to practice oxytocin based sex, then you will see how strong your bond will become.
You must be ready to forget all about your own pleasure guys if you want to worship the Goddess. She is the symbol of the GREAT COSMIC YONI/VAGINA. She is the MOTHER MATRIX. So worship her with all your devotion and think only of pleasuring her. Get creative.
Remember the orgasm part itself is only a tiny part of the show. In many cases it is not even the finale. Instead the sexual union should make your consciousness merge with that of your partner. In totality. Like nothing exists outside of you. Like nothing ever did and nothing ever will. Can you imagine that? TIMELESSNESS! Yes transcendental sex magic can make you transcend your EGO-SELF or the conscious mind.
For hidden in the deep recesses of the UNCONSCIOUS lie all the archetypes. And we get a chance to break away from our standard archetype for that moment when we are in union. You know why magick works? It is because in the netherworld of our psyche there exists all the information. From all our previous experiences and I mean collectively. Jung called it the COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS. From this we channel all the wisdom and guidance.
Once we have understood the archetypes we can break away from them and step into new exploring new archetypes. We can change the role we play for who else ifs the DIRECTOR of this film called life but us?
Couples who seek to explore sex magic or tantric sex, there are some tips for you from my end. Firstly find TIME. The most important ingredient that society lacks. TIME. We are slaves to it. Sex magic can never be done without time. At least three hours. Don’t fall off that chair. Hold on.
Create a sacred space. Full body massages for both from both. Oh yeah! Bring on the oils baby. Burn that intense and light those candles. Put on that music. Guys you can do an adaptation of the Yoni Puja. I wrote about it briefly in this article. Check it out. Just do what works for you. What speaks to you.
If you are interested to know more about sexual alchemy and greater harmony with your partner, then email me- firstname.lastname@example.org
A SEXUALLY EMPOWERED PERSON IS SUPER CONFIDENT, BUT NOT COCKY. She or he owns the stage and does it effortlessly.
I am offering special workshops for women called GODDESS AWAKENING where I will be discussing vital components of pleasuring your partner and also self pleasure. So please ping me. These are available in groups and individually too. LET US END THE WAR ON NATURE AND ON OUR OWN BODIES.