There is a face in my mind.
It is yours.
There is no clear definition to it,
Just a hazy outline.
It surfaces in my Consciousness.
Forget it? I cannot.
In sleep, dreams and waking.
Are you even aware?
I do not care.
The melody of a sweet flute.
Playing in pastoral Bengal.
The golden Sun rays caressing the wheat husks.
Comprehension of the experience is not for me.
Labels fall short.
Emotions, ill equipped to handle the subtlety of feelings.
Expression of what I absorb is minimal in such a case.
How can there be expression of such intensity?
Happy I am, my Beloved.
As I sit and watch the brooks flow by.
Telling tales to the tiny pebbles.
Tales of far away places.
The pebble listens with awe and wonder.
Does it want to be swept away by the brook?
Does it want to journey into the unknown?
I do not ask for anything.
Just don’t disappear from my consciousness.
Look back at existence.
Look back at creation.
The wonder never ceases.
No matter how much we hurt.
No matter how much we bleed.
For each soul must experience all the shades of life.
Laughing and crying, singing and dancing.
In that dance of life you are my partner.
Yet you are everyone’s as well.
Yes I see it…
I see how everyone has this image of you.
Maybe its not even an image for some.
But an abstraction.
For me, you are of course MY BELOVED!
Forever, I have wanted you.
My eyes will tell you the depth of my love.
I seek not to bind you.
To possess you…
Love is not possession.
Love is knowing.
Knowing each day, and each moment,
Your face surfaces in my consciousness.
How can you have human features?
For human you are not.
But how can a human like me begin to even comprehend your true form?
Your touch I feel when I write to you about my love.
Your song I hear when I sit in silence with my self.
To hear you. To see you. To feel you.
You, my Beloved!
What a glorious night!
What a glorious moon!
A crescent of hope!
I am bathed in your scent,
Made luminous by the moonlight.
I offer myself to you.
I offer my whole being to you my Beloved!
Make love to my cosmic self!
There you come…
Wait, what is this I see?
You have peacock feathers in your hair.
You are dark as night.
The symphony of the stars and your flute,
Sets fire to the wind.
Ecstatic and receptive, I fall into your arms.
If love is meant to teach me heartbreak,
Then why do I love?
Enervated, exhausted, I ask…
Why must love hurt so?
Why must it drive daggers through my heart?
Being in your embrace, I see.
No human love can feel so.
Laced in jealousy and ego battles,
Perversion of love and its concepts.
Human love seeks to possess and conquer.
Your love sets me free.
It sets us all free.
For in the windows of our minds,
You sit. Sometimes as Art.
Sometimes as God.
Sometimes as Krishna.
Sometimes as Nothingness.
Sunyata. As Pragyaparamita!
The desert of our barrenness.
Regurgitated ideas. Bloodshed. Bigotry. Violence.
Those are the concepts we humans tend to grasp.
Not only grasp, but cling on.
Like a parasite.
There is no want in any heart.
There is no pain in any soul.
The six petalled lotus, blossoms in every heart.
The eternal Anahata nad, that sings of my love.
That sings of my love for you.
My deep, dark Space.
My deep, dark lover.
The love, the lover and the loved.
The trinity! No separateness.
It is null and void. It is the VOID.
All senses, all individualities have merged.
The lover, loved and the idea of love,
Cease to exist.
What kind of a deep love is this?
Can you even call it love?
Is there even a word, an idea, a concept?
To define this merging of everything into one.
Dark matter. Dark energy. Dark lover.
Dark Krishna. Dark Kali and the dark SPACE.
I can see it. It has devoured me.
I have become one with this.
Yet the fog remains.
My lamentations do not cease.
I cry for you because being separate from you hurts.
You are the home I crave for.
The eternal rest. The eternal bliss.
To be reunited with my lover.