Will you be surprised if I told you,
You are the North Star of my existence.
This Ego is the death of us,
Obsessed with fetishistic nuances,
The path is now dark,
The clouds of the mind have blocked off all the light,
The sky is now a stiffing blanket,
Of your conscious and unconscious mind.
The leaves lie like paper skeletons,
They fly away with the wind,
Intend there be rainbows,
Intend there will be sunshine.
The storm of the mind makes its ominous presence.
But then, just like that, you appear.
The anchor in this sea of existence.
You taught me to embrace Mara’s daughters.
You taught me that I am to make friends with my demons.
Confused, I did not know how to even acknowledge their existence.
They did not exist. For how shall I retain my sanity?
How shall I find peace in this turbulence?
Will the aircraft of my life take a nosedive?
Your existence is the smile in my tears.
They drop like nectar from the honey pot of creation.
For everything that I can conceive is real.
For me it is as real as you out there,
Reading this and wondering what the fuss is all about?
This is a part of my soul and it lies expressed.
In this moment of abstraction.
Of nothingness and yet it is pregnant with everything.
Will my tears create the fractals of infinity?
You are those tears as much as the laughter.
The North star of my soul.
There is heartache in our separation.
I know how numb I feel without you.
You are the lighthouse that keeps beaming to me.
A dream of a distant past? A future unlived?
A parallel reality?
Those waves of time are making a ruckus in my brain.
The time has come to reconnect.
You are forever present in the fact that you are me.
This is no shock surely.
This is about you being the anchor on which I can rest.
Yes this you I experience in moments of meditation.
For in real life you have no existence.
But isn’t this true that this reality where I am typing away
Is also as unreal as the virtual world.
The internet has brought on a new timelessness.
If you must understand, time now officially is dead.
The people are now logged on and that is real.
So reality is just perception.
The other day when I fell asleep and you came to watch.
The song was playing, I don’t remember it.
I never remember it,
The mind is hollow and does not react to anything.
It laughs. It laughs. It laughs.
The rays are multicoloured,
Colours I cannot even explain.
They occur and I see the North Star.
So fixed. Always there. A yearning for the familiar?
Why do I seek you out North star?
When I can seek out any heavenly body?
Is it because I like the comfort of something known?
The North Star, you are me.
The fixed part of my mind. That needs to stay anchored.
Can sadness erase sadness?
Can there be too much of happiness?
Human emotions are so frivolous.
Here one minute, gone the next.
There is no peace without war.
I bathe in the psyche of pain everyday.
Of people. As an empath I am the sponge.
Protection and you tread slowly.
The North star of my soul.