#redshame

 I have always suffered like crazy during my periods. I mean CRAZY. Batshit crazy. The pain, the ache, the nausea, the migraine. I cannot explain to you how much I suffered. I grew up eating meat, fish and eggs. All the pain and messiness associated with my monthlies made me dread the. Sometimes they were erratic. Sometimes they were on time and all of the times my chums knocked me the fuck out.

After I turned eighteen and I was seriously practising  yoga, I began to seek explanations for my continued menstrual problems. It automatically happened. Me giving up meat, fish, eggs. I still took dairy. Now all my life I was getting afflicted with headaches. If you ask me, that is the only thing that troubles me. My migraine. 

So giving up all the shit and sticking to a vegetarian diet was the first step towards healing some of that period pain. But still it did not go away. Homeopathic no. Ayurveda no. Nothing worked. After much research and studying, after understanding how sexuality has been so perverted and femininity has been so badly suppressed and exploited that I realised that my period pains were nothing but physical manifestation of my spiritual issues. Like not being in touch and connected to my sacred feminine self.

I abhorred periods and everything to do with it. I shunned it and cursed it. How could there not be pain? Pain is an external manifestation of the psycho-spiritual issues. So the journey began with trying to make that connection.

I began to speak to my uterus as soon as the ache began. I began to invite the blood to gush out. I requested my internal mechanism to flush out the unnecessary. It took years, patience and dedication and a sacred intent to pay homage to my blood and my uterus for making me a woman, a mother. Since I believe in doing my healing through journaling and then meditation, I began to write about the experience of being a woman.

I began to see patterns, thought waves, attitudes, misogyny, patronising condescension..I saw it all. How society has made a mockery of womanhood. How we have become reduced to only shadows of our former selves. We are mothers and women yes, but essentially we are humans. The world sees us through the lens of lust and possession. How then can we have an authentic connection to our femininity?

It is that very thing that will make us slaves…to the structure. How do we embrace it? I know the complexities are numerous and each step I took, I thought I’d never be able to break away from this oppressive patriarchy. Judging, condemning, stifling…there is no way out.

I think mind explorations with psylocybin made me see myself as more than a woman. I saw myself as a part of the great SPIRIT. Yes the lifebreath of us all. Using meditation and mental techniques, psychedelics and Mandala making, I think I could break away from the feeling of being a woman. Because boy, it is stressful! I try to look at people as humans too, not men or women. I give them equal opportunity and space to discover them. No gender bias. It took years and years of self work. On myself and my projection of energy.

Connecting to my sacred feminine blood was such an inspiring journey. It changed my life. There have been ancient secret rites and rituals with menstrual blood. In Sumer, in Egypt, in Babylon. In India too. Yoni tantra. It speaks of the sacred power of the  yoni. It is a symbol of the GREAT MOTHER and if invoked correctly, she is a storehouse of LIFE and POWER.

I don’t talk to you from the POV of Tantra. As a tantric. I speak to you as a fellow human who has done some research on this taboo topic from which we all could benefit. So since menstrual blood, sex and all the connected things are so frowned upon, but its something that society is obsessed with to the point of sickness. Sex is such an important part of our lives yet it is so suppressed. But I knew that this pain had to do with an unhealthy relationship to the vagina and the uterus. So what does that mean?

I had an unhealthy relationship to my being female. Years and years of social conditioning and being with people who enable patriarchy, knowingly or unknowingly, I have begun to feel shame and pain because I am a woman. And that has translated to this intense pain and suffering.

I know how many of you are suffering. This is a mental exercise you can do. Try it. Before you start menstruating, write a welcome note to it. Invite the periods to flow. Preparation.

When you get it, touch your vagina softly, knead it and then take some blood in your hands and say I love you and thank you…you are the very life blood of society. You are sacred. You are life itself. I invite the cosmic creative spirit to endow me with fertility and creativity. Be open to receive psychic messages. Your yoni will be energised.

Basically make up something that works for you. Send love vibes to your uterus. It works. There are numbers that I also worked with and switchwords. I also use energy circles. But the maximum healing took place when I embraced my pain. I know that sounds crazy. I embrace the pain every time and let it teach me what I need to learn. I do not take any meds. Use aromatherapy too. Keep a lapis lazuli near you or wear a pendant as you start menstruating. Essential oils also work wonders. Get your partner to give you a full body massage with a carrier oil mixed with some lavender. This could be amazing and what follows could open you up to so much…surreal shit! 

In fact the root cause of not being able to have a baby is spiritual and can be healed by creating an authentic relationship with your vagina. The menstrual blood is used in many tantric practises as a symbol of creation. If everything is energy, then your intent to befriend your vagina will create ripples in the hologram. THE PAIN IS A GHOST OF OUR HATES AND ISSUES. You can repeatedly touch your vagina and express thanks. Just watch where you are at…lol!

 This will give you the power and determination and cosmic shove to become a better version of yourself. This reconnect with the vag is tremendously healing to the psyche.

 Men too can connect to their phallus. We are all humans and we work on the same principle. Both the vagina and the penis have been vilified. They represent abusive words. That’s where our sacred sexuality has been degraded to. Cunt is not an abuse. Dick is not an abuse. Let’s shift anger and loathing away from our body parts. They are parts of us, sacred and divine.

 

I began to feel this way. I began to truly imbibe these ideas in my real life. Not think of my vagina as something repulsive, but as a powerhouse of creativity. AND MY PAIN WENT AWAY…I mean I still feel slightly sick and if I’m out and working, I feel very drained. It takes me a few hours to recover. I do feel sleepy. But I keep on the work through yogasanas, essays, a little self acceptance ritual I do. I also use a no shame dance…that helps me shed all my inhibitions and truly connect to the divine feminine within. That is how I channel her.

 My libido was scarily absent after I gave birth and had a no show going for two years. My child is breastfed and I had no periods for twenty seven months. Yes the dance of horniness was erased from my memory. It took self love, self pleasure, meditation and a whole lot of chilling the fuck out and I began to feel the flow. I know how hard it is for some mothers to get back a hundred percent in the sack, so I suggest you try some of the methods I mentioned. Always feel free to contact me as your life coach if you feel the need.

 This ritual in its totality is ever evolving, so I can show you the basics only. You will have to use your creativity and intuition to keep adapting it to suit your needs. You can use journaling, flashcards, write poetry or essays, meditate, use crystals, in fact use multiple tools and modalities available to do this.

 Use Jade and Moonstone to clear problems associated with it. For example if you have some other issue and menstruation is only a part of it. Use Lapis Lazuli for pain relief. Rose quartz also works. But I use Lapis Lazuli as I channel and meditate on MEDICINE BUDDHA, SANGYE MENLA. WORKS WONDERS!!! Oh, oh of course watch your diet. I am unable to do this sometimes. The craving gets too intense due to hormonal fluctuations…

Of course you can work with herbs. They are magical I tell you. Medical Marijuana is the miracle cure for cramps. Yay to that. Whoopee Goldberg has made tampons with cannabis. I have never used them, but they must be amazing. They deal with the pain without any offensive side effects. Of course Ginger caked in some Himalayan pink salt is very effective. Raspberry and chamomile tea always work for me. And then of course the fennel water. Cinnamon always works for me with everything, so….

The way I have managed to RELEASE so much pain is through more self awareness of myself as a sexual being who is feminine. I am a woman. I have a uterus. So I will bleed. Why should I hate it? I know its messy, but its a part of ME.

 It’s your creative force building and then purging…so sublime!!! Humanity and its systems are seriously mysterious and mesmerising. Periods are a biological process, but why are we humans if we reduce it to just that. It is our job to make connections, to see patterns, to cut and mould and we keep at it.

yoni-relationshipSo do you agree that we need to embrace sacred sexuality and develop a healthy relation to our menstrual cycle?

 

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One thought on “#redshame

  1. Dear Tina, Bea here! I found out that orgasms are what help me the most during my period… I know it’s a bit weird but it really helps with the cramps… I feel WAY better now that I’m not scared anymore and the pain has truly gone away!!!! HUGS!!!

    Like

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